eindomitus

My God, people on here are effing out of their minds. Don't ask me my age and build when it's fucking posted. Appreciate it.

A living reason to better myself? Without trust and respect, how can I make someone else my incentive for acting one way or another? 

It's just that I'm starting to be a petty person because I feel um...secondary. I feel, uneccessary. It seems that I'm a perk and a disposable, replaceable one at that. I want to feel safe and if I have little value, if I'm not priceless, I could be discarded and misused and that possibility feeds distrust. As for disrespect, that's fed by, well, disrespectful behavior, of which dishonesty is the ultimate form (in my opinion). A person's refusal to alter their behavior for another's sake shows their lack of concern for that person. Couple the refusal with the demand for immediate trust and you create one doubt-filled partner. 

So it intertwines. 

I can live with all sorts of differences, ignore all sorts of "short-comings" and annoyances, as long as I know I'm valued enough to prevent harm. Dishonesty turns me into a nagging, griping, whiney, insecure brat. 

Yessssss. Work report draft is OUT. Now I can get to my back-burner list. And decide which road in life to take. I'm not dwelling on the inevitable winter. I want the heat to stay, the green to stay. Learning and anxious as always but I've got this optimism hanging over me (where'd that come from). :)

HOOLY CRAP. So many messages. I feel like I've been on here all day, simply weeding out the inbox. I'll just have to pin down some decent friends, secure their contact info, and make a run for it before it's too late heh. 

Cleaning makes me less depressed. Weird. 

Ok I'm having a hard time keeping up with all the messages I'm receiving. So I may not reply to yours. I'm not rude but I'm gonna have to be selective.