Domhsv

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	About Domhsv Notice...Due to family illness, I am having to move, and am no longer looking. There are alot of people on here that I have been talking to for awhile, and though I will miss the conversations, I am going to have my hands full taking care of someone else (along with my son) and will not be able to maintain contact easily, especially since I am moving so far. Thank you for all the time we have spent together, and I hope the best for all of you. I will let this profile and notice stand for a couple of weeks, and then take it off as soon as I can when I get settled.

I have some of the more enjoyable parts of my days coming here...alot of humor comes through this site, and though I am not a very good judge of character, commitment, or responsibility in any way (doubters just ask and I can share the multitude of mistakes I have made in life, though I hope to be a bit wiser now), I have to wonder at the ability of some people to make even the most basic of decisions in a semi-intelligent way.
I have no partner and am in no hurry to find one, and perhaps that is a good thing for now...but I have to wonder about some of these people who come here. I make it a habit (being the perv that I am), as do many others, to check out the new members who come in to join; to see who they are, what they have to say, and maybe (of course) to find a good match.
One of the funniest things I have ever seen though, is the event of a new sub or slave joining, telling about themselves in their profiles, and ONE or maybe even THREE days later, they post on their profile that they are now owned, collared and/or under consideration. Now, understandably, if I met the person I felt a real connection with, I would want to pursue the issue and see where it leads. But I am wondering, seeing as many profiles like I have described, how many Doms (male or female) have to deal with the traumatic b.s. that comes from dealing with these people down the line.
    Subs or slaves telling of the assholes they have dealt with in the past; of the poor treatment and inexperience they have endured under pretenders; and even later, all of the limits, demands and nasty attitudes that grow from such relationships that these subs/slaves now exhibit.
    Once upon a time, I was married to a great woman. We had known each other for MANY years, were great friends, and eventually became lovers. When we finally tied the knot, oh HELL...and that is exactly what broke loose. From that point on, I was held responsible for, and treated like shit because of the poor treatment she had received from all of the assholes she had been with in her past. Billboards on the highway, ads on tv, sexy movies and poor treatment of women in general all over the world became my fault, as well as that of her past. To say the least, we were not married for long, as how long can a person put up with that. Now, granted, as we were great friends for years before the marriage, I should have known these things...but it was never something she or anyone ever talked about (one of my mistakes).
    Then I come to this site. I feel sorry for the Doms, and cannot help but wonder if perhaps it is the fault of the subs/slaves that they jump into something without using simple logic...if it is the fault of the Dom/Dommes for selecting them so quickly...if it is just human nature to seek out destructive relationships that they jump into without due consideration.
    That being said, I am sure I touched a nerve somewhere, but I am not concerned with that. I am concerned that it is people like I have mentioned above, both impatient subs/slaves or their choice in Doms, that ruin the lifestyle in some way for those of us who are a bit more serious in our interactions. I mean, in this day and age, who walks down the street, meets someone and marries them in the following few days?
    On a side note...I have also wondered if it is a ploy, of sorts. Does it make a sub/slave more appealing to some if they quickly claim to be owned/collared/under consideration? Are they trying to convince others of how freaking desireable they are that they claim to be fitted with someone so soon? I cannot say that I am convinced, because in any of these cases, I am not impressed and am summarily appalled at their casual demeanor towards this lifestyle. Myself, these are the fakes (on either side of the spectrum of D/s M/s) that I am wary of...that I worry about...and that I find so sadly humorous.

Well, another day in the time warp (back to the witchhunt/caveman/civil rights days)...I posted a forum reply on a herpes thread to share my experiences with people, and now, according to the replies to my post, I am:
    1) wrong, for saying up front--on a sex site--that I have herpes.
    2) wrong, for saying that people who send me nasty mail because of my condition--that I have never written to--are not right for doing so. And...
    3) wrong, because I even say anything about it or try to share my experiences, be they positive or negative.

So, in following the logic of these people, anyone who ever received criticizm because of something that was different or not perfect about them...they should just get over it. Damn good thing we have evolved so far. Sometimes I wonder, with the militant and critical attitudes (even people WITH the disease portray) so evident, how did we come to this polically correct era we now live in. People who wrote the replies seem to me the types who would condemn blacks for being black, aids victims for being sick, and numerous other "its your own fault" scenarios. "...it's not like you have three heads..." so get over it. Wonder what MLK, Ghandi, the Dhalli Llama, and others who are/were different would have dealt with attitudes like that...but of course, I in no way can claim to be so enlightened. So, in closing, no more posts, threads or comments on herpes from me.  At the least, not until more mature minds come along who can speak with compassion, not criticism...even in those who have the same condition.

Here again to provoke more messages telling me not to be bitter...but, before you send me a message of that sort, please spend a day in the shoes I walk in.

Not that I am, and if you knew me or anyone who does, you would know that I am so far from bitter, that I am borderline sickly-sweet. My son thinks I am a hoot, and my vanilla friends keep dropping by uninvited just to have some fun and entertainment...does not sound bitter to me...
But let us start from the cause, and in the end, you judge what the effect should be:

1) I receive alot of messages (no joke) telling me how nasty and sick I am to be looking for someone when I have herpes. Some tell me there are sites for people like me and make some nice suggestions. Well, this site just happens to deal with my lifestyle choices, and any std sites I have seen are out for the money, not the dating community. Not to mention, try putting a profile on them telling how you are into this lifestyle--bet it doesn't stay up too long.

2) Read the previous post about people "not looking." That is a one of the nicer situations.

3) I was on this site under another name for quite a long time, and had ALOT of friends, before I found out I have herpes. As soon as I changed my profile and told them, however, I have not heard from any of them.

4) Under my previous name here, I could go into a chatroom, say hello, and have wonderful conversations with almost everyone. Now when I go into the chatrooms, rarely does anyone reply when I say hello, nor does anyone even respond when I ask a question or try to participate in conversation.

Now, with all that said, and a smile still on my face...I have to repeat that I am not bitter; I am just telling the tale of how people react. It is endlessly funny to me how people jump to the "b" word when you describe some of the behaviors other people display. Their behaviors have nothing to do with me, it is just their view of me; and they don't make me feel any other way but frustrated with the views of the seemingly uneducated and insensitive majority.

I think, given the fact that I already have three dating/relationship strikes against me (herpes, single-parent, and a desire for the bdsm lifestyle) I am pretty happy with who I am and how I am dealing with these little things. The main point, I believe, is that I am the same person I was a few months ago...I write the same, I speak and act the same, hell, I even walk the same. Maybe I should be bitter by now, but it simply would not be me.

The main question, therefore, would have to be...if I were to become so, does a person turn bitter on their own, or does the actions and words of others lead to that condition?

Coming from the understanding that it would be foolish of me expect others to be attracted to me through my profile after reading it--due to the herpes thing--I RARELY write to people I find attractive. But on occasion, when some unbelievably fitting profile catches my attention...well I am only human.
"Not interested in a man with herpes"...it would be a relief to hear that...what bothers me about any of this is seeing a profile where a sub/slave is looking for a Dom/Master, and they reply to my message that they are "not looking." Fair enough, and that is everyone's right. I would have hoped for a bit more honesty, though; especially considering a week later they claim to be under consideration by someone or seeing in a chatroom that they "finally found someone."
If you are looking (and your profile says as much), and by some slim chance you read my profile because I wrote you a message, and it is the s.t.d. that bothers you...please be honest. It will not hurt my feelings at all, and will actually make me feel better--knowing that is the reason, rather than that I may be considered some repulsive troll who offends the senses with what I have written in my profile or by my picture alone. I mean, I am being honest up front with everyone about the condition...all I ask is for the same honesty in return. And yes, I know to some this will sound bitter...but unfortunately, that is sometimes how honesty sounds. I am not bitter at all, just confused by the demand for honesty on this site, and the lack of it when it comes knocking. Be safe, and more later.

DomlyPanther Male Dominant, 30, Washington DC, Virginia	DominantGentle Male Dominant, 44, Orlando, Jax, Florida	domracer Male Dominant, 30, hagerstown, Maryland	DomCouple4fems Dominant Couple, 22, Wooster, Ohio
Dom4247Slave Male Dominant, 41, Nashville, Tennessee	DominantFlame Female Dominant, 39, Boston, Massachusetts	DomCasper Dominant Couple, 34	DomBlkMaster38 Male Dominant, 38, Johnson City, Tennessee
domdomu Male Dominant, 32, Morrisville, Pennsylvania	DomForyou Male Dominant, 36, Cincinnati, Ohio	DomRalph Male Dominant, 75, West, Texas	DominantDiamon Female Dominant, 29, Lincoln, Illinois

Domhsv

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