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I am a geek, I know 2 ancient languages as I went to college and seminary to be a Presbyterian minster or theologian. I am now a hard agnostic. However, I have an ethical standard that is all about helping others, compassion, understanding, listening, and sharing to those less fortunate. I have a mind for the world and the future of our species. I am liberal by disposition and ideologically progressive. That being said I do not discuss those matters unless in certain contexts. I have taught classes at the University of New Hampshire and other venues.
I love poetry like Rimbaud, Coleridge, Yeats, and Dunn. Clue: I am an romantic. I am an avid reader of non-fiction and some of my favorite topics are Ancient history, historical works on archeology, Philosophy, Neuroscience as well as a array of other types of work.
I am a emotionally sensitive person and make myself (as of last month) available to others in need even if it is just an ear. I love people I was just afraid to get hurt again for so long. I am just now engaging again. I had lost my Mommy/Owner of 15 years as she fell out of love with my submissive nature and wanted a vanilla life. She met another and I grieved for 8 years. I had an intense perspective change last month February that changed my life. Now Music does not make me cry and indeed makes me happy and that perspective change has made me love life! I want to live again, to love again and feel someone's gaze on me with affection and for me to be obedient in love and childlike adoration. I want to care intensely for someone, to feel their love and control for what they know I need.. to be intimate and know another so well and We/we together reveling in that.. That She knows where i need to be taken and takes my hand and leads me there. I yearn for you and am making myself ready for you.
My hobbies are Online computer games (Elder Scrolls Online), strategy games like Rome II total war and many more. I also enjoy cooking, watching British TV (Dr. Who, BBC America, The Office, Ricky Gerves show) My favorite living comedian is Sarah Silverman. I love shows like The Vikings, the Following, Game of Thrones, and House of Cards.
LOCAL OR EAST COAST ONLY - I want a relationship not a session thing or pen pal. I am not in this for a sexual thrill.. although that is a part of it that is not my focus. I am rather in this for the intimacy of the power exchange and the communication that can be had in such a (maternal or female led) relationship. I mean that regarding communication on all levels and the way it can help us be happier and better people knowing what each needs and relinquishing power to them and them helping me to be a better person for them and the world.
I am an very honest, transparent and open person.. feel free to say hello. :)
As for relationships I am looking to meet someone special who may have a maternal need in them for a sensitive person who is submissive and open and honest. I am looking for someone lead me in a gentle but firm way. While I love correction keep the hardcore needles and such away form me. :) I would cry and well and a type I diabetic so i5t may be not very healthy for me..
btw I am overweight due to never leaving my home for the last 8 years I have been depressed and lacking in trust of others. Now I am alive again, trying to work out 90 minutes a day, eat right log all my exercise and food and lose it all. I have lost 14.2 lbs in 4 weeks and will keep losing. :) I am making my self ready for someone again. I want to trust and love and be open to someone special. I am done being a hermit. Give me time I am a work in progress. But also engage me talk to me and lets really talk and get to know you're expectations, what you desire, your past your joys and fears. I want to know you so well I know what you favorite flower is, your food, what kind of movies and books you like and a million more things like the number of stars in the universes beyond my vision or imaginination.
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For me its not about sex although i do enjoy a head-space derived orgasmic experience as long as it leads to deeper submission. One where I feel small , childlike but used sexually like the adult I am on the outside but a sissy on the inside.. I want my life trapped in diapers and plastic pants with the knowlege my choices need to be approved or I am forbitton. And if I brak role be punished so that I fear breaking my role again.. on all fours diapered in little baby outfits woshiping you and being your obediant pussy and mouth and to live in a state of humiliation for yours and others amusement. |
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So I found out I has sleep apnea and ow I am wearing a cpap mask to bed.. its like a bondage mask but keeps me breathing. Sleep apnea will kill you if untreated and will promote wieght gain. Since being on the mask 1 week, I have lost 10 lbs! I am also energetic again, alert, and now working out every single day at the gym.. ;) On my way to being healthy again. once my stomach is thin I hope someone will find me attractive and take me to be theirs! |
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Its been a month and I still miss my baby Zander. Oh what a sweet and loving soul he was.. |
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Zander (R.I.P 7/16/12)
Angel eyes, twin moons in sweet repose,
Balanced on a canvas of brilliant white feathers,
Soft breath sweetness dew
Two orbits paths entwined,
Intimacy without understanding,
Sounds, each other’s name.
But with your kittens kiss upon my lips
I beheld the infinite recourse of life
And gained all understanding
That wisdom comes with love
With prints upon my flesh your spirit of love filled in me
The seal of your breath in me at once our twin crescents touch
In embrace that understanding
Even last kiss and eyes that met,
Your labored desire did sleep.
And I with our fond communication
does praise with weak words,
you would have never understood
Save with the memory our faces met.
I will miss our departed times
Held each in memory of you
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I have lost 23lbs. :) 70 to go! |
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Well I have decided to get the lap band surgery to lose this weight so I will not be ashamed of my stomach and keep not meeting people because I am ashamed of myself. |
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