After having had a wonderful conversation with a Domme about the BDSM lifestyle, i will now try to recapitulate the discussion and write about my attitude towards BDSM.
Please note that all i write is just the way i see myself within BDSM.
I am well aware that, since we are all individuals, many just don't share my mindset and maybe will be offended by my words.
So i beg everyone pardon who feels being offended by what i write or by how i see things.
Now derpuhbaer's thoughts about being submissive and about the relationship between a submissive and a Domme:
What i have realized within the BDSM world, as well here on CM as in my surrounding in real life, is, that there are many who are fascinated about the interaction between a sadistic and a masochistic person.
There is much about spanking and being spanked, beating and being beaten, humiliating and being humiliated; in short words: its mainly about the physical matters of one person usually using phsyical punishment against another person from which both get their satisfaction.
Of course there is nothing wrong about it; and honest: i am happy to see that there are that many who just match in that thing, living their BDSM life.
For me what i have described above also is a part of BDSM life, but a very very small part.
From my angle it is the psychological connection between a Domme and her submissive, the built up of a deep trust and a very intense relationship based on that trust and based on two individuals connecting to each other.
It's the Domme who puts lots of energy and efford into the submissive to get him to know and to find out everything about his attitute towards things, about his mindset, about his emotions; in short words: about his whole being.
The submissive himself puts at least as much energy and effort into getting to know his Domme; knowing her likes, knowing her actions, knowing in which way it is possible to serve her in a good way, learning about her everything just to be there for her, to care for her and to completely submit to her.
Also, as a matter of the evolution of the relationship, he learns to open himself for her, giving in to her and deeply trust her.
While they grow together the Domme molds the submissive to perfectly fit to her needs and to enable him to be there for her in every way she wants him to be.
So, in short words, for me it's all more about two persons developing their way to melt together as Domme and submissive than about sadism and punishment.
It's about educating and being educated and about making the Domme the center of the submissive's world.
