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About Deiphile
I consider myself a dom. However I know I havnt earned my status as a Master. I pride my honor on honesty above all else, and I will never lie to any direct question. Next is loyalty, whether it's a polygamous or monogamous relation I always uphold the rules set forth. For me the first rule in polygamous is to introduce the prospective sex partner to everyone involved in future activities. I have to say however I'm done with most polygamy, and am still hesitant with my gf's, gf type of situation. Out of all my main GF's only one was str8, the rest were Bi. One tried, unsuccessfully to get other girls with us, and cheated on me with other women, (not viewing it as cheating), another didn't view non-disclosure as cheating in a poly relationship, and the last cheated on me with drug dealers. After that I decided to try vanilla.. It sucked, and she left to work at Walmart in Tx, and married a very traditional Christian Texan. TBH, she would have made a great sub, had she been willing to open that part of her, but due to earlier abuse was not able to, and I regretted losing her for a few years, I recognized my mistake, I should have just been a dom, b/c it was my hesitancy, and resultant decline in confidence which drove her away. This was also due to my parents decline in health, and me dropping my schooling to take care of my mother in her last year. I am now trying to get through probate, and afterwards finish my schooling... Yes I'm old enough I should have school already done. It took a lot of different experiences to realize that I should focus on computer science, and once I was dedicated and well on my way I had to take care of my dying mother.
I miss being a Dom tho... In a sub I love spirit and strong opinions, intelligence, and defiance. With the proper sub, I find that my own direction becomes easier to follow. However if your looking for extreme M/S that's not me. I'm not into cruelty, extreme pain or punishment. Punishment while a viable tool, is the last disciplinary tool of the unimaginative, or an uncontrollable resource of the stupid. Spankings and other light pains, should be a reward, and I feel I'm quite good at them, as well as my objectification of the body through bondage. The ultimate in the reward being my allowance of my sub to bind, spank, or tickle myself, as I do enjoy it. It is not submissive in this manner, as I still am in command. Safe words were created so both parties know when its too much, however mostly for the Dom so I dont have to ask if my ability to read your body is wrong. To me the most annoying subs are those who ignore their limits, then complain later that they were exceeded, or those who didnt realize i dont like to cause excessive pain. There are many forms of discipline, and only a fool only uses pain, and punishment.
Yes a lot of what I demand from a sub will be sexual. Whether it is slave positions, doing household chores provocatively, or debasing themselves in public, it is all meant to heighten both of our sexual desires. I'm beyond the need to share my sub/GF with others or friends, however I am still willing to understand her need for multiple partners if she can adhere to my rules. Foremost is with my permission, and while I'm attendant, and only I can leave lasting marks. However I don't believe that type of relations will last long and I would like a true long term commitment. My fantasy is that my sub/GF will have a GF/sub, and she is also my GF/sub, but I recognize the unicorn, and it is not the most important part.
Obviously D/s does not end in the bedroom, unlike most of our fantasies. I did, used to, hold that fantasy, and now realize how wrong I was. It lost me my son's mother b/c of that. I won't make the same mistake again. She went with a stronger Dom,.... with me it was bedroom only at the time. She was my 2nd sub, and I didnt recognize her needs and lost her to another Dom that did. To be fucking fair I almost got her back at one point, right after my last vanilla relation which had lasted for 5, almost 6 years. Once again, I was stupidly hesitant, was all, we should be equals... The only good thing I did then was be drunkenly jealous one night, yet even that was just childish. I was so out of touch with my Dom side she was right to go back to the guy she thought she was gonna leave for me, simply b/c he at the time was more Dom. There is more to the story, but you would really need to get to know me better b4 I divulge more.
I am a Dom. I'm not in as much control of life as I'd like, but I'm not willing to ever give up my control. I recognize and accept my failures, and as a Dom that means I am responsible for the failures of my subs. A true Dom is a Leader, and all failures are the Leader/Doms responsibility to bear. I may punish my subs for infractions, but never for my faults. If I am angry, I am truly only angry at myself, and no punishment is due to anger. My subs opinions, and especially emotions are not only welcomed but adored, as long as not needlessly defiant or brattish, looking for needless discipline.
Ok other stuff,... I love to cook good food, but I must also stick to a strict diet. I need a sub that is willing to cook based upon my standards. I dont care if you can cook, just as long as your willing to learn. Other skills are based upon the individual, and I'm willing to put a youngster through college, or other education as part of our LTR as D/s. I'm going to need my eventual sub to relocate... I'm not where I want to live, I want to live on the coast of Cali, and will be moving there at the first opportunity, even if that means taking a shack and mostly living in a sailing boat in the docks along the coast. However it is apart of my plan to have ready access when I need it to the internet, for my hobby or job depending on what happens. It maybe that I get a huge house, and only sail on weekends, but either is better than living close, yet too far to use the coast.
I will be providing a pic soon, but till then I am a slender man at 5'10", and 185lbs usually max, and 170 @min. I am not very muscular, and even at the top of my martial arts days never looked as strong as I was. I'm not looking for the sword to be my way in this world anyways. I just started my journey in the books of Gor, maybe I will take it up, but so far it is just a great book. I'm more likely to get my philosophy from Heinlein, but I'm only just about done with Tarnsman of Gor... whereas, I'd be surprised if I found a Heinlein I haven't read.
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Female Submissive, 32, canada
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Male Submissive, 29, Munich
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Male Dominant, 28, ontario
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Male Switch, 35, baraboo, Wisconsin
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Male Dominant, 30, Quebec
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Female Submissive, 26, Greater Vancouver
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Male Submissive, 35, BW
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Male Submissive, 30, west hollywood, California
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Dominant Couple, 39
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Female Submissive, 26, BOLTON
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Female Submissive, 24, Davis, California
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Female Submissive, 29
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