DeathKitten

I wonder if I met anyone on here face to face if they'd be able to see the actual me. If I can find a Dom who can last with me. Lately, I've been feeling more and more self-destructive. I can almost feel time running out... But running out until what?

I hope I have not offended anyone by not replying to a message or chat request... I'm not sure what exactly I'm looking for. Most of my life, I was abused... I've been molested, raped and so on. My life has been far from perfect. Over the years, I managed to hide most of my emotions. The only ones I allow myself to feel are sadness, contentment, and anger. I always hide behind a fake smile, though. Very few people have seen past this smile and eager attitude. I play mind games to the extreme but no one seems to notice because of my innocent face. People don't notice when I lie to them or even when I insult them. My mother once said I'm an angel-faced demon with a silver tongue... I want someone who can help me. Who can take the control from me. I'm a natural submissive and I am willing to submit but I NEED my Master/Mistress to fight me for my submission. I will not give it up unless I know the one taking it is worthy. I need someone to force me to feel! If you can do this, please contact me, but if you can't, I'm willing to take advice and be friends.