I have to cut my nails this weekend . Too femme ,too noticeable . And that sucks . I like the way they make my hands look  but it a . Real life pays the bills . One of the things I miss is polishing them . There is no way to have wet painted nails and not act and feel more femme . Silly but I love it . And painted nails are not something that can be wiped away with a washcloth . For those of us not totally out of the closet that can be an issue but somehow the bit of fear makes it all the more pleasurable . So tomorrow night I'll smooth and buff my nails  , polish early and enjoy them . Just saying ....

If it snows today I will be available for a request photo shoot after 5 . Thoughts or suggestions appreciated .

Went Christmas shopping today . Got some things for the kids and friends but mostly used it to shop for me . The perfect disguise , Christmas shopping . 2 Blouses , some sleepwear . Socks and stockings .Came home and ordered way too much makeup on line . Bought self tanning spray to darken and expand the look of my nipples . It works but I enjoy trying different products to see if they will darken them just a bit more . I like having chick nipples . Wearing my new white tunic . Very soft and lays so well over my C cup breast enhancers . Black velour pants with pant socks . Fully made up and accessorized . Staring at myself in a mirror I see only a woman .

I have friends who come over when I'm dressed but I still hold back . Gestures while changed still hold onto some of him . I fear letting them see how feminine I am inside . Of letting her out .

I look good in the mirror because I see only her .

   Hi all . Just a random thing here . Spent at least half of the weekend dressed . Friday night and Saturday morning , Saturday night and Sunday morning . Every attempt with one goal in mind and that was to look real . Drove around a bit . Couple of pics . And yet each evolved into dildo play . More make up sometimes but each driven by what the man might like . The man . Always been curious about cock but disassociated it with the man . But even that is morphing . Maybe it's because I've been using my dildos more . Needing more then just a plastic dick . I guess if I didn't find fucking myself enjoyable then I wouldn't think further then that but I do . But as most of us have experienced each step only leads to the next . So what would it feel like if it were real ? To release and just be taken . But taken creates a vision of hands touching , guiding , demanding . To feel like that cock belongs there . Owns it .

   I'm going to bed and to play with my lover ..............

Hi........just took pictures for Miss Heels . She requested a certain look and i did my best to comply . And i loved it . All day long i was functional knowing that tonight i'd get to play . He did all of his chores today and i had the evening . i know it must be odd , the he she thing , but that's how i feel . 2 in 1 . And i'm getting stronger and he knows it . Case in point ........ i have a smoking fetish . He's trying to quit and i'm helping . We only buy girlie cigarettes now . VS or 100s , something he would never smoke in public and it's working . He's broken several of his smoking habits and consumption is down by half . Good for him !!!! i ,on the other hand , love smoking and will continue . Tho mine is down because i am finding that my lovely black dildo loves to be in my mouth . i guess it's just a wonderful subsitute for my oral fixation . Gotta run .........luv ya !

Just another ramble . A clarification of sorts about cock . I don't want a man . No offense guys . Guys are ok . Drink with ,talk sports , golf . Good friends but other then that appendage their is NO sexual attration . But a woman catches my eye when she enters a room . The way they walk , their hair . Always their hair lol . And I want to be with them but I'm a lousy lay . It's true . They'll say it was good but I'm enough of a girl to know when it's good and what I do fucking isn't much .....BUT........it doesn't mean that I don't desire them . I love the way they feel and taste . Love their necks , holding their hair . Kissing . Love eating pussy , touching pussy  But then they need that nice hard cock to finish the deal and ,well , sometimes that doesn't end so well . But if she had a cock ? I could finish that deal . I would be an excellent cocksucker . I do love oral . LOVE IT . And the feeling of that head on my dildo slipping into my mouth makes me hot , my mouth instantly wet . It gets me off . So , here we have a guy who loves to dress as a woman . Someone who is really a gender blend. Male body but got dosed with a tad too much femme hormones while in the womb .So the mind is blended . So I can be either guy or girl . The key is that she gets off so much better then him . She isn't afraid of sex ,likes it where he is tentative . The she side wants to be taken and I mean no offence with this but used . My femme side is much more serviced oriented . I like when you use what is offered . And I could make a cock happy but hairy chests ? No . Hard muscles ? No . Facial hair ? Well ,you get the point . A shemale ? Oh my God , YES .........  So what about a woman ?  Yes but she would have to have such an unusual blend that I'm not sure she actually exists . My ex cheated on me after 12 years . She knew about my dressing before we married but neither of us knew how far that would run in the coming years . At the end sex had come down to me orally pleasing her and she whsipering fantasties to me as I masturbated . Soon her dildo became our dildo . I'd use it to finish her like a real man and she'd have me suck it , cum on it and lick it clean of both our juices . It moved in a wonderful direction for me and away from what she needed . She'd pretend to be domme sometimes but it was all an act done for me . If she had actually been domme she could have cuckled me and truth is I think I might have enjoyed that as long as the dressing ,the feminization continued .

Maybe you can tell that I'm a little buzzed right now lol . I have no idea if any of that makes any sense but it felt good to pretend to communicate with someone.

  Be well all !

   Denna

Thinking about sex . I was never confident when fucking . Size ,nothing to write home about and being laden down with fetishes , sometimes just didn't get that aroused about fucking . Love oral . I'd do it just to get her off and that was good enough for me . Love the taste of a pussy and wonder about the taste of a man's cum , other then my own . I masturbate WAY too much but good lord I have some wonderful orgasms . This thing I do has had a constant and continual evolution . From getting off just from the clothes or lipstick to well now . Now , using multiple dildos , mostly oral , while fully dressed . Thinking about sucking cock every night . Every fantasy involves this but I am never fully female , always  a sissy or shemale . Fantasy drifts into real life . My brows are female and tho I hide them behind glasses they are always noticable . Hairless in the colder months and bare legs that never recovered from an Epilady event . Nails too long but they look so good when polished . Writting this makes me stop and look at myself . Sunday night , still made up and dressed all in preperation ( sorry that's spelled incorrectly but I'm too lazy to look it up ) of sucking off my dildo boyfriends . And I think I shall .......Bi

03/08/2013...........All dressed up and no where to go ....... such is the life of a crossdresser .........feeling very horny ,very wanting of a hot dick sliding in and out of my mouth ......I try to pretend that I'm straight but ........maybe I am straight because girls want cock and I'm as close to being a real gurl as I can be when dressed so wanting some man in my mouth seems just about right .......I'd love to have him cum in my mouth