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Just came back from The Madtown Kinkfest and what a weekend. Met some new people caught up with old friends. Took 2 classes one on CBT and brought my own cock to practice on and other on a roundtable discussion. Both were great. Played in the dungeon both nights one scene was flogging and cbt. The other was a trampling scene which was great. Thanks Grandwood for your participation in both nights. Bought 2 new toys and tried them out. The flogger is called "the punisher" nice and stingy and the other is a "sap" or "knash". Love them both. Now I am just coming down from the high of the weekend and off to Mexico I go for vacation... |
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I am off to my 4th madtown kinkfest for the weekend. so many to play with i am a lucky gal. need to finish packing and my list and off i go........ dsj |
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It's March first and my new playroom is getting there. One of my play partners just put up a spider web for me. The chain is beautiful. The electrician has put in more lights and outlets. Now I am looking for carpet. Can't wait to have it done. Been playing my most recent adventure was going to Madtown Kinkfest in February for the weekend. Had a blast with my partner who in 2 days let me play with him for 9 1/2 hours plus as a bonus had a friend join us and he had 4 hands on him at all times. It was a wonderful exciting weekend for all. Now I am back to my weekly date for play and starting a new relationship with someone else which is exciting. Life is being very good to me right now...............DSJ |
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 Wow its been almost a month since i have written anything. August was an interesting month for me. Mostly worked but did get into some trouble also and ended up in doghouse for a week but it was so worth it. HB1 thanks for coming home from work early and letting us tie you up and have our way. Plus we are sorry we drank all your wine. We will have to do it again soon. Have a few more ideas to add to the scene. Weekly topping of my favorite switch GW and learning so much more about CBT as I call it cock & ball torement not torture. Wouldn't be fun to have all pain and no pleasure even if you are a pain slut. Also a week before my 52nd birth-year I celebrated by returning the favor to my favorite switch partner GW and bottomed. All I can say OMG, Good experience still have caning marks on my bottom and whip marks on my breasts, also itwas fun riding the sybian how relentless that was. A good analogy is the after glow is worth it. Learned a few new things from bottoming that can be incorporated into my play sessions. All in all a good month and now looking forward to a good year as 52 and young at heart ~~~~dsj |
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Been busy new job, hospital stay and a week later I am in Madison at Kinkfest. That was an experience of a lifetime. All I can say if you have the opportunity to go to the one in Febuary 19,20 & 21 2010 you will not be disappointed. They had great speakers and demo for the workshops, vendors who were more than happy to see you, meet and greets that were good and the play area was good also. My play partner and I had two wonderful days playing and we are both smiling ear to ear. My flogging and cbt play have stepped up a couple of notches. Also the new people I have met were wonderful. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~dsj |
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I have been busy with summerfest going on, playing and starting my new job. I went down to SINS Center in Niles last friday night and had an absolute awesome time playing. I was able to top someone who has become a very special friend and for the first time played in public. What a rush to say the least. I know my partner had a very good time also. Tuesday had another play date and was able to learn to use a quirke properly and i did some cbt and some needle play.
I think I was more excited about the needle play than I let on. He trusted me totally to put 5 needles in a very sensitive area.... I never have felt that kind of control and awe before. I like admiring my work... We have another play date next week. I am registered in Madison for the 24th and 25th of July and a room is booked..... so I am a happy girl. now what to wear is the question of the day. Well I am off to work. Going to have to think of some new things to do next week. Tonight is the weekly munch will probably not be there til later due to the fact I have family in from out of town. :) dsj
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It is a hot one today. You could try an egg in the sun on the asphalt... Not my favorite weather. I was able to pick up my custom made bullhide flogger and it is absolutely gorgeous. The feel of the wooden handle in my hand feels like silk and it fits my palm so very nicely and the sound of the bullhide hitting the skin just sent me flying. Was able to try it out on GW and got no complaints from him. Also today picked up a gift from GW, he made me a leash with a cockhead ring and smaller ring to attach the leash plus he made me a name tag so i can hear the brass moving against the steel links. I just adore it...... Good day to stay indoors and just enjoy the air conditioning but it was fun trying out my flogger and he looked so good with those red marks all over him and i am so very happy....................... next play session scheduled yes! |
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Someone asked me if I was ok and I am better than ok..... Karma has smiled upon me...... I have a job starting in July, had a great play session yesterday and learned the proper way to use needles in needle play, and how erotic it is to see them just under the skin, Realized that I do love both sides of the coin so to speak equally........(top and bottom) but I found out that my journey is just taken off and i truly love the thought of play more than i ever thought possible. I have talked to a bunch of people few whom I believe and the rest are either fakes or wannabes. So if I do not answer an e-mail it did not impress me at all and figure why waste my time...
Played in an awesome playroom with every imagiable toy and had a wonderful afternoon on Tuesday it will be on my mind for a long time. Ty GW you are a gentleman and wonderful person.............dsj |
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Yesterday karma was with me all day. Had a play session with a wonderful switch and he made me my own cock whip. I tested out throughly and must say there was no one objecting to the action. We also tested out the use of ice with what we were doing. I was like a kid in a candy shoppe not knowing where to turn first. Tried the trapeze, then the St. James Cross and the table and back to the cross. We both enjoy the time immensely. I was thrilled to learn the proper way to tie a cock and ball and use different kinds of toys and ice for sensations. I was even treated to a massage and used the tack board under my breasts and the wheel on my back oh my i was out there.... GW thank you for a wonderful gift and an incrediable play session those 3 hours of play went by to fast. I have decided the sound of chains is phenomenal for the senses plus the metal stays real cool to the touch. Learning more and more on this journey and loving it. Can't wait for our next play session after my niece leaves.... I am going to be good for 10 days (boring) ... Saturday starts the count down. Envious of all who are going camping from the east side munch wish i could join you but family calls. Next year is another time....... dsj |
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Been meeting a few people at the east side munches. Like to socialize with others in the lifestyle I am very fortunate to been able to spend time with 2 of my favorites. Both who I repect and trust and each day I know them it makes me smile. Have a play session with one this afternoon and looking forward to it...... hmmmm what will i try this afternoon. How I relish the thought of topping someone...........it turns me on totally..... I had so much fun and loved the last time I can't wait.........my mind is starting to run wild with possible thoughts and ideas.............Will probably go to the munch this Thursday because will not be able to go for 2 weeks due to relative being in town to visit. Wish the warm weather would stay feels like winter again its 50 degrees in June this is not right..... Its Wisconsin and it will change tomorrow............. DSJ |
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Memorial Day weekend has passed and I spent Saturday nite through Tuesday in bed. Not what you think I was sick with no voice, fever and sore throat and all i did was sleep and sleep and sleep.............. now i am nice a rested. What a waste of a weekend but my body just needed the sleep...... When you don't feel well you don't feel like playing hopefully I will be at 100% soon cause i would love to play........ dsj |
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I love the outdoors when it is sunny and warm just love how the sun beats on the body. What i enjoy even more is when i play outdoors so I have to thank SB62 for giving me what i wanted yesterday at the county park. I was able to feel the sun and a nice cock and let loose. How much more enjoyable can life get than that. Plus I was a good girl... wasn't I not sassy at all. Oh my the submissive in me is coming out. LOL I had a blast thank you again for a wonderful exciting afternoon with nature....................dsj |
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Someone warned me about job fairs. Yikes there for 3 hours and nothing! All entry level and I have too much experience. Meet up with a friend and took some pixs of Eleanor (car) and myself. Can't wait to get them. Beautiful day and I need to get looking for a job........... dsj |
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Had a good weekend girls night out on Saturday and a few places and people in the 3rd Ward thank you all for a delightful night Sunday, Sunny & I entered a car show in Cudahy with our two modified Mustangs and 305 other mustangs there. WOW is the only word i can use to express how i felt. I was like a orgy not knowing where to look or go first but there were mustangs from 1964 to 2010 models. It was an excellent show alittle cool late afternoon but we sure had fun. Today, in the mood for a flogging and paddling oh well will have to be content playing with myself with toys......LOL
tomorrow is job fair ~~~~~~~~~~~dsj |
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Well i want to play and no one is around. Just my luck should have planned better. oh well there is always masterbation but definitely in the mood to play.... shucks..............dsj |
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As life goes it sure has been a strange beginning to the week for me.... Monday morning I was on a high from fun on saturday afternoon of rescuing someone (hb1) and 10:31 am to be exact I joined the ranks of the unemployed. 21+ years with a company and it took less than five minutes. UGH! Funny thing I was not upset; I was at peace with the company and myself coming to a mutual agreement for termination. So today, I slept in for a few hours, finished all paperwork & waited to have my company car picked up. Tuesday early evening, I had a play session with a new friend whom i gave my first ever birthday cock whipping to. GW have a great birthday tomorrow and many, many more. I also got to experience some new things and enjoyed them immensely during our session. The cross and the cbt chair are awesome It is so good to top someone and know they are enjoying it totally. I was worn out and all i had taken off was my socks... OH MY! Next time we play GW remember the ice.... I love using that cock whip............ Wednesday have a job interview and looking forward to it. So there's a saying when one door shuts others opens I hope so keep your fingers crossed for me. ....... This was the push i needed because I was not happy with my job (due to the golden handcuffs) and am excited about the possiblities out there. Thursday one of my former doctor's is taking me to lunch how sweet..... dsj |
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Lived through another Cinco De Mayo and feeling really good today...............Just finished a very erotic book called Fairyville by Emma Holly definitely in the mood to play now. LOL....... been thinking how much i enjoy both sides of the fence so to speak being a top and bottom... Finding myself going more towards the bottom during this part of my journey.... I am learning new things about me everyday............dsj |
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Coffee Coffee Coffee I need more coffee. My brain is stalling and i have 80 some more computer entries to go. I put everything off lately to the 13th hour no wonder I never get caught up........ need to be more disciplined this month with my work (not my play LOL)................ looks like the sun may just about to peak out in a bit Iam happy its friday........ may get into a little trouble tonight we shall see but it will be alot of fun.........................thats if i am a very good girl and get my work done. ~~~~~~dsj |
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I am a switch but last Saturday i was a submissive for one night. I was with a dom who made 3 of the things i wanted most to come to be.......I am not going to go into them because those who know me know mainly what i a striving for on this journey. The twisting path that sometimes i am a top and sometimes i am a bottom. This night i truly benefited from being a bottom. I have the marks on my breasts to show how into it i was getting. I even realized that orgasm control and denial lead to more powerful climaxes....... I sure did learn alot about me and my needs and my desires that night. I thank you (u know who you are)..............................dsj |
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Has the sun moved out of Wisconsin and when will it return............... We are becoming webbed footed creatures..... still cool enough to wear socks so i am a happy camper...................... I think the ground can not take much more of this soaking ......... will be very happy to see blue skies and sunshine again.......dsj |
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I worked some today but when i got home started writting again. I love writting erotica and it always makes me wet so its time to get the toys out and play...................tomorrow is another day for work............. dsj |
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Normal that 6 letter word has so many meanings what is normal. In the New Merriam- Webster Dictionary states: normal as an adjective
1. regular standard
2. of average intelligence
3. sound in mind and body
normal as a noun:
1. one that is normal
2. the usual condition, level or quantity
If i go by this definition than most people I know are above being normal and that is okay with me because that makes them very special and talanted individuals as far as i am concerned. ~~~~~~~~dsj
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Trust and respect go hand and hand in this lifestyle when did it become ok for people to find you and disrespect you before they know you. I am not whining or ranting but what gives that person the right. you can block and report them by nothing happens..... go figure.... I am so glad I am only looking for local play partners cause i can bulk mail the rest. have a good day dsj |
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The other evening I was conversing with somone who is also on collar me and we were talking about the reponses we get from our journal entries and e-mail in general. He believes i get more because I am female and more men repond to me. That got me thinking of how many messages I send and I always get a response back thanking me for my thoughts or inquiries. I answer all intelligent messages about 2% I ignore due to verbal abuse from someone who does not even know me;or those Doms/dommes who think i am a sub and ask me to blanky blank them. Give me a break I am a very intelligent, assertive and resourceful woman. There is no way on this green earth that i perform like a monkey for someone. So I do respond back to nearly all. When i write in my journals I have had a number of people (more than 3 or 4 even more than 10 on one topic) ask if they could send me something to read or e-mail about something i wrote, i am truly touched that i was able to give you an outlet for telling someone something that has not been said in a long time. The journals i keep are my therapy and makes me realize that there are some wonderful people out there male and female that I want to know. You just have to get through the fakes and the crazies..... I was also called normal and that is another topic for another day. Going out to drive my car on this beautiful afternoon. ~~~~~~ dsj |
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Today, some told me to be good! What does that mean? TO BE GOOD well if i was a submissive i know what it means, if i was a domme i know what it means. BUT I am a switch who loves adventure. Does it mean not to be naughty, does it mean to be naughty...... I just don't understand how to take those 3 little words. I would rather someone would say have a good day I understand them completely. TO BE GOOD just makes me shake my head and laugh...... I am always good in my mind no matter what i am doing. If anyone can explain it to a switch please do cause i am wasting to many braincells with these 3 little words. LOL ~~~~dsj |
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To Bite or not to Bite that is the question. How many people truly love to bite or be bitten..... ME! I DO! When i met up with younger guy last friday evening had a few drinks at Motors and then a drive. I found out i like to be nibbled on and to return that nibbling with my teeth. Where do you say.... All over but found my neck to be very sensitive. We got together on tuesday for a play session and we both found out i love to be bitten hard and long but no marks please. You know who you are i owe you one for the mark i have found...... Really got turned on by the biting and playing a great part of the session was where do I like it best. All over........ Also had one of the best massages in a long time. Looking forward to more play sessions.....I had a lot of fun and really enjoyed the company So the answer for me is YES TO BITING!! ~~~DSJ |
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FETISHES~~~~~ why are so many people afraid to admit they have them. One of my fetishes is socks you laugh but socks are one of those things that make me happy and turn me on. I have more than my share of socks:cashmere, mohair, irish wool, cotton and all other fibers. Is it sexual or not. I just love how they feel on my feet especially when i wear boots. So is it a sexual fetish could be or could not be I change my socks more often then most. Trouser socks for work, boot socks for play and socks to lounge in. So some days there could be 3 different pairs in the wash so by the end of the week there are alot of socks. No one can buy me socks because I am a sock snob and have specific requirements so i quess when you come down to it socks are one of my fetishes. Some people's fetishes are boots, others stockings & heels, others its more physical like biting but all these things are fetishes so I have a sock thingand to me that is a great thing.......... dsj |
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Rain, Sleet and Snow and here i go to the park to play.... I must be like the mailman........ Here it is doing all the above and I am in the park with my friend. We walk to the pavillion that is at the top of the hill and look around yes cars going by and in parking lot are a couple of cars but there in the corner was a table he gracious pulled out and i was there getting fingered and cuming with my jeans to my knees and my sweater over my head and exposed to all who wanted to see and know what i realized people live with blinders on; cars went by and you could see us.... and people could walk by and i was cumming and not quietly either and loving everything he was doing to me. My nipples and breast just love how he used his teeth, hands etc. I came twice and if he had not had his fingers in me i would have collapsed it was that fast and furious. There still undone i took him in my mouth and brought him to a wonderful release. The chilled air (39 degrees or lower) on my skin was delicious. How i look forward to these rondavous one never knows what is going to happen... dsj |
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I do not understand why people say i don't give them enough of an email.. I answer their questions but i not going to write a novel about me or my wants. They are going to have to ask..... Thats just how i am. If you don't ask i don't volunteer answers. Just how i have always been. If i say after a couple of e-mails its not clicking then give it up....... please, I hate having to be blunt but I am not interested. Look i am not a domme...........not looking for a submissive........... if we click fine but i am not going to tell you what to do or what i want and not even know you Grow Up! ~~~~~~~~~dsj |
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Easter what does it mean to me. If I was a good catholic gal, I would spout out the lines i was taught by the sister of notre dame those many years ago that are burnied in the recesses of my brain. Today, however it was more of the coming of spring with lawns turning green, seeing the trees starting to get the buds at the end of the branches and driving my summer car on 43 (Rock Freeway) with Pink's new music blasting. I am happy. We took some of our favorite seniors to dinner tonight and had a blast listening to stories about when they were middle age now some are pushing 90. Eating, drinking and laughing that what Easter is to me. |
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Someone said to me the other day at the coffee house One meets someone and the guy thinks: i will behave myself (gal thinks he is not interested in me) guy thinks: if i am too forward she will think all i want is sex or to play (gal thinks what a creep) Now the gal thinks: I will flirt alittle (guy thinks hey i have a chance) Gal thinks again i will be alittle more forward (guy thinks wow she is easy) Gal doesn't want to be thought of as a slut so she goes backwards and stops flirting (guy thinks she's a tease) So what does this tell one well we should all be ourselves and not worry about labels that society has place on behaviors. Sometimes we as humans overthink things and cause ourselves more problems, anxiety and stress.
I pondered on my #1 rule when meeting people and someone very wise said "its your rule dear and you can change or bend it anytime you want" I like that advise so thank you SirWieland.
When you meet someone the first time you hope that you don't disappoint them and one worries that they are not what you had in your minds eye. I look at it differently I am very honest, upfront and positive if you do not like what you see so be it but if you do then good. Same with me I go by my instincts when i meet someone whether on line or in person and so far it has not failed me. So if i tell someone we are not clicking its not going to happen but if we do click then we proceed at mine and your speed.
I like being me. I love the skin i am in and part of me is very forward, very confident, very sensual & sexual. So if you read that i have done something that you think is outrageous; i am just being me. I love when someone reads me right an example was someone in the coffee shop did just that yesterday and I reponded more than he thought I would but we were clicking very well together. I must be a true exhibitionist at heart. He waited for the right moment when no one was seated next to us and just scooped by breast and played. I sat there enjoying it. Do i always let someone touch me in public. No; but when you meet someone from the site your both there to feel each other out (no pun intended). Finished our coffee & tea and headed to the park in individual vehicles. Nice day to get to know someone. Kisses and touches of another makes both parties smile all cards are on the table. I hope he liked the bj he received from this gal cause i had fun giving it too! So call me whatever you want but i am enjoying my life, making my rules, living with my gut instincts and having fun............ life is way to short to be to serious about it. Love the truck......... dsj |
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My head is spinning with who i am...... so many thoughts and so little time to ponder....... finding that meeting new people can be taxing on my spirit..... Age is a matter of mind and i am getting over this age thing with younger males...... I met one who was much more maturer than his years and it was refreshing.... I broke my #1 rule, yesterday and today it makes sense. This person was very confident, positive and just fun to be around. We were in a public setting (outside Miller Park) and we were enjoying the sun.. Started kissing and both seem to enjoy it. We had an audience also. Knowing what an exhibitionist i am i took full advantage of it. Facing each other we were able to touch and feel. Both liking what we felt we meandered around the peewee ball park in the parking lot. Low and behold one of the doors was open to the restroom..... Was I naughty ; we went inside and i had him orally service me. What a tongue & mouth; you can not teach good oral. I just want to say i had a blast and look forward to playing with him again. I hope he had as much fun as i did and thank you again for lunch plus giving me dessert also...... dsj |
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I have decided that i need a different phone to text too much time figuring did i hit the key once, twice or three times for the appropriate letter. Today, I realized that i am an ass monster and am just loving it. Love to play with my ass. I have had more climaxes lately doing myself than i can remember. Amazing how we all discover things on this journey we all have. Somone e-mailed me and told me to be proud that i am a switch who likes to top because that will translate better into my vanilla lifestyle to be confident, assertive and more at ease with myself. They are right so thank you SirJoe1211 for clarifying what i am and who and SirWieland for not liking labels because now i know where i am going and how complex we are that not one label defines us. Thank you both..............dsj |
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Public exhibitition is on my mind today.... I have always had a fantasy of it..... The allure of a stranger stumbling upon someone being photographed erotically in the woods has always intriqued me ... to not know whether that person will want to particpate or only hang out watching in the background is very sexy thought to me. I love doing the unexpected and causing people to think and use their mind and wonder is this real or is this an opportunity for me to do something most would not or just have fun with it. So this fantasy of mine is going to happen soon..... I am going to enjoy it to the fullest. If anyone reading this entry has any suggestions for me please let me know what they are. Just the outside being erotically photographed is making me smile and i am so at home in the woods and with nature it should turn out phenominnal........I always knew i liked different things but this fantasy is one of my favorites to act out...... dsj |
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 Well this afternoon I got a wonderful surprise from my teacher, assdoctor420 who sent me the pictures of our last play session when i took the tuning fork...... They are amazing and I just could not stop looking at them because they were beautiful to me. There in color was my ass with the tuning fork and my pussy. I was totally impressed with the pictures because I did overcome my challenge of ass play and there it was right in front of me. I never thought an ass and pussy could look so damn good. I am smiling from ear to ear thank you assdoctor for them can't wait for the video of it. It just goes to show with the right teacher and right attitude that one can overcome their hangups and totally enjoy the moment. ~~~~~~~~ dsj |
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What are hard limits. I think we all set them but as our journey in this life goes we may need to start to rethink or reconsider them. Yesterday while chatting i mentioned how i love getting tattooed not the final product but the actual tattooing gave me a high and my endorphins just take me over the top. It's a great turn on for me. He said well maybe you should consider needle play and i have always had a hard limit to needle play and now i am starting to rethink that. Maybe it will give me the same natural high as tattooing. I know that a hard limit takes a lot of trust in the person so maybe it is still a hard limit but i am just curious in seeing it done and how i react to it. Needle play may always be one of my hard limit but who knows. Sir Wieland thank you for your comments on this topic and it gave me something to really think about last night..... and think of other play types i am I curious about... dsj |
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IT GETS ME REALLY PEEVED WHEN I GET E-MAILS ASKING ME TO DOMME SOMEONE EITHER IN PERSON OR ON-LINE...... DO YOU NOT READ THE PROFILE OF THE PERSON YOU ARE SENDING AN E-MAIL TO..... I AM A SWITCH WHO IS VERY INDEPENDENT & STRONG WILLED; WHO LIKES TO TOP BUT WANTS TO PLAY WITH AN EQUAL OR WILL BOTTOM FOR THE RIGHT PERSON.........NOW PLEASE STOP ASKING ME TO DOMME EXCEPT FOR U KNOW WHO U ARE....... GOOD EVENING ALL!!! BOY AM I PISSED RIGHT NOW...........................DSJ |
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Well yesteday was a day filled with interesting choices some that i will live with for the rest of my life and i am smiling. Added another star to my memorial tattoo for my best girlfriend who past away last year. She was more than a friend she was the person that knew everything about me the good, the bad and the ugly never judging, never critcizing me just loving me and being there for me. How I miss her, 13 months later and the pain and emptiness is still there. I pick up a catalog and think oh I need to tell Judy this or that is something she would like. So many times I have picked up the phone to share a thought, idea or a feeling and she is no longer at the end of the line. Everytime a warm breeze comesthrough the yard in the summer and the scent of flowers hits my senses I think of you dear friend, when my kittys tap me with a paw i think of you dear friend and everytime I think about the past, you are there in my heart and i am filled with love. Judy one day we will meet again and I know you will hug me and tell me it wasn't bad. So I live life to the fullest everyday because yours was taken to early. I will always love thee.............. |
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Today, someone asked me why "Dark Star" and I thought about it. There are two songs out there 1 by the Grateful Dead and 1 by Crosby Still & Nash and both songs lyrics really fit my person and personality. Plus I have always had an affinity for stars. So a dark star shines brighter than a regular star. It is there even when you can not see it with the naked eye. I am like that; many do not see me but I am there and they miss out knowing me. Plus I like being who I am and am choosy about letting people know who I am. Those few who have been lucky to be called more than acquatinces know what i am talking about..... dsj |
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Today as I was unpacking and starting to do the wash I realized how nice it is to come home to a familiar inviting enviorment and friends that did not go away with you. I did enjoy my vacation and i behaved. So if was looking at this entry and said wow she behaved how boring. It was exactly what I wanted. Sun, water, good food, good drinks and some great erotica reading. Emma Holly (author) has some really well done erotica. Got my tan ~~ last day did sun bath on my balcony nude and finished my second book. So I have lines; but that is okay. Played with my toys and had fun with them. Oh well can't wait to save enough for the next vacation. dsj |
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My thoughts while flying to Meixco:
Flying through the sky and the clouds my soul starts to soar.
Seeing the sun set in the west brings anixousness to me.
Darkness is coming and strangeness is setting in.
How i long for the moonlight to embrace me.
dsj
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My journey continues and I have learned a few things about myself. I just realized that I always love to play and be spanked but I know now how much I truly enjoy it. The feel of the cool smooth wood on ones bottom right before one feel the tingling of the wood hitting flesh and the warmth of the skin. Lets just say I don't mind sporting paddle marks. I have always know that breast play makes me wet but boy does flogging my breasts make me totally wet plus now I know how cowhide and elk hide feel different in a flogger. I think my breasts are connected to my G-spot. So to the man (can not reveal him until I ask him about it) I had the play session with thank you for a wonderful time. I hope you had a much fun as I did. I have the marks to remind me of it as I bask in the sun of Mexico for next 9 days. It was a wonderful way to start the day out. So my journey continues & I am meeting new and wonderful people who are assisting me in finding my likes and how much I like them. dsj |
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today chatting with someone who asked me if i bareback not sure what he meant and he said screwing without a condom. Has he lost his mind. When you play you may have multiple partners no condom means no penetration with me. I do not want to bring anything home or give anyone anything. I just don't get it. In this day and age not protect yourself is is absolutely astonishing to me just my way of thinking dsj |
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Today, I was thinking about sex&play vs sex&love and from the few people I have spoken to on this the kinksters and the vanilla it seems most people do not know how to distinquish the two. For me sex&play is just that fullfilling a need or desire. Then for me sex&love goes much deeper for me someone who i make love to not just have sex with. Someone who knows, cares and values me through and through will get more of me than my fellow playmates. So to me they are 2 different situtations that have 2 different attitudes and feelings. Someone told me very few people can distinguish the two at least I know I am one of those. Til later dsj. |
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I made that drive up north to the big lake in WI to see assdoctor420. I must say I am a lucky girl. I had done my ass mastubations and was very relaxed when we played. I was able to handle the tuning rod fine and my ass loved it. I had an outrageous climax and could not get enough. That toy is amazing and I am addicted to it. Each time he hit the tuning rod with the mallet it ran vibations through me and more intensely each time. I am still wet. Hope I can find one of them. Will start my search. Thank you again teacher for getting me over my adversion for ass play/penatration. You have created an ass monster thank you dsj |
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Today, I am driving again north for another session with the assdoctor420 and am anticpating new wonders. This week have been mastrubating with my new toys in my ass and look forward to see what my teacher comes up with. The thought before the scene makes me hot and the knowledge that he knows exactly what to do to me to bring me to new heights of pleasure is just driving me me wild. So off I go again for that 6 1/2 drive with great tunes and a few toys with me. I am smiling and the day looks great with the sunshine. dsj |
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Well I have been chatting, IMing, talking and to others. I have just one thing to say so please listen. I AM A SWITCH......I AM NOT A DOMME...........SO IF YOUR LOOKING FOR A MISTRESS THAT IS NOT ME... SO STOP E-MAILING ME LOOKING FOR THAT. I am a switch who prefers the top which means just what it says. Doesn't mean I want to be a Domme okay... I will play with other switches as long as they know i like the top. Easy as apple pie. Saw a friend and he was real tan from vacation. I can't wait for next week to be on vacation and become tan. Also looking forward to sun, water and lots of champagne. He got me wet and I was just sitting in the car talking and he had me smiling. So thats it for today dsj |
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Mercy its only hump day. Is this week never going to end. It's a new moon tonight and I think that has my harmones are in a rage. Today, I was looking at life in its simplest form existance and I figured out that I like my life the way it is. I'll take all the craziness that goes along with it and still have fun. Each day I live I am thankful for my sense of humor even though it is off on timing and good taste alot of the time but I feel that majority of people take me way to seriously because of the way I carry myself. We wear different masks in society and the one we wear 9 to 5 five days a week. Is so different than the one we wear behind close doors. For once I would love someone to see the real me with desires, needs and fantasies. They are wild but they make me smile and today I had some awesome thoughts at 11 and 2 pm can't call it the witching hour just a small break from the mundane work day. Smilled from ear to ear. dsj |
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It been a day of weird day for conversations, moods and feelings. The fog always does me in. I can't see the moon, can't see the sun and it just takes me to strange places in my head i do not need to be. So I am looking forward to starting a new one tomorrow. I find myself lingering in an anquish of moods i think a good bowl of cheerios is on order. Been thinking about attachments to things, to people, & to words they all have a place in our lives but the order we put them into is where we compartmentize them for further review. I wonder what would happen if the compartments met or faded into each other we would have a mess. Oh well cheerios it is. have a good nite dsj |
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Today my mind is not on my work but my ass. Yesterday afternoon went with my gut feeling and met someone i had been chatting with. He was kind enough to escort me to AWT (sensual, sexual, erotic shoppe) so i could buy some toys for my beautiful bottom. I had a really good time and met a really nice person. Thank you for for escorting me there, introducing, your suggestions and making me blush plus smile. I had a great couple of hours on monday. Went home and played to my hearts content with my new toys and its all good. So now i need to focus on work it pays the bills. dsj |
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today is monday and always a hard day for me. chatted with my teacher and was given a few instructions on what he wanted me to mastrubate with this week. Tonight will go out and get them. I was thinking why did it take me so long to get over this hurdle with ass play/penetration and i have no good answers. I love sex, I love playing, I love roles, I love switching so why was it so difficult to get over this partituclar hurdle? I think things happen when they happen for a reason and so now my time to learn is here and i am taking it for all its worth. I'll wonder about that later. Lastly i have had a number of male submissives contact me wanting me to domme them. I explain that i don't mind the top but am no a true domme that I am a switch that loves the top. They still keep asking for me to let them sub for me. Good God when it rains it pours. I want to take my time and know a person before I take control don't they understand to control you have to know that person and the buttons to push to get the responses you want. One person told me without the submissive there is no control. When will submissives understand that a good domme or top will take the time to get to know them. thats it for now dsj |
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Now that you read my adventure with AssDoctor420 I am still a switch that likes the top but for those few hours with him i would have done anything he had asked and probably will still submit to him. I will not let anyone collar me; but of my choosing he would be the one because of the patience, kindness and grace he showed me. I will always be indebted to him for the teachings he has given me and hopefully will continue to give me. I am so thankful to have met this person. Karma is definitely working in my case and alive and well.  dsj |
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Where do i begin and where do i end. The drive up to met my teacher was good listened to tunes ponder what i was getting into, what it would be like when we met in person, could i give over 100% control etc. Well let me just say it was one of the best experiences of my life. My teacher who lives on the Big Lake WI and goes by AssDoctor420 is a very special and talented human being. He made me feel right at home and we talked and listened to music and talked until I was completely comfortable. With that being said it seems like a long time but my clothes were coming off bit by bit by me. When i am comfortable i am nude. So after some wine and i was ready i thought and asked him to help me undo my bra which he kindly did but than he ran his fingers down my spine and i froze. I was not sure at that point what to do. So I sat down braless facing him and drank more wine and chatted. We talked about things that only the two of us could appreciate and that will be left there. I kept telling myself yes i can, yes i can.... Here I was just in my panties and hesitating. I could not let this not happen. So I excused myself and went into the bathroom. He was setting up the table and putting out the toys, tools, etc. I stood in his bathroom with my panties on and collar in my hand. He had told me that it was not necessary i have a collar on but in my heart I knew I would not be a submissive with out it. I have been a top too long. So I put on my collar adjusted to wear i still could breath and took off my panties and walk out and stood by the side of the table naked to him and the world (wait thats from a song). He walked over to me and turned me towards him and just lightly stroked by breasts and played alittle with the nipples; I just melted. Then he walked over to the end of the table and told me to stand there bend over the table and I did. He told me put my arms to my side and open my legs for him and he started. He kept asking if i was okay seeing he knew how bad I had been hurt before and he was gentle. I could feel the juices in my pussy starting to heat up and my heart was pounding after a bit he had me turn around and told me to step up on a stool and sit on the end of the table and he procceded to put ankle restraints on. Plus again he played with my nipples this time with suction my head was starting to spin. As I layed on the table he had my ankles up and restrained. Then he played from that angle and if you ask me what he was doing. Who knows he did not give me a point by point decription of what he was doing and I didn't care it felt so incrediably good.. When he asked me to do something I did it to the best of my ability. When he told me to stop I stopped on a dime. I was his 100% and so was my ass and pussy. He used clamps on my nipples and during that period i was floating and just enjoying the ride. I eventually came and it was the most awesome orgasm I have ever in my life felt. From my toes to breasts i was quivering inside , my mouth dry and my knees weak. I would do anything he asked me. This part I keep to myself for it was taking care of him I realized as I knelt before him that my ass would always be his.... He would be the one man I would let have it when he wanted it...... I have never been with a domme that was so kind, generous, patient, and so down to earth that it makes me smile thinking about him. He was someone whom I was destined to meet; you just know it when it happens and it happened to me. I would go to Alaska so he could have my ass if he asked me. I even came later in the night just laying next to him in our 1 hour and 10 minute sleep we seem to have. I drove home the next day smiling and singing all the way. I can't wait to play with him again and share those feelings with him. That tuning rod sure looks intreguing and i want to see what he does with that and my ass. Thank you AssDoctor420 you may have just created an ass monster out of me.  dsj
p.s. "godsmack will never be listened to the same way every again" LOL |
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Today is the day, have some work i have to do this morning but i am so focused on this drive and going to see the teacher that last evening went to the spa had a bikini wax (my first and my last will stay with shaving) so my pussy is nice and smooth plus very bare. Did put a little powder on it because it tingles and then had a relaxing massage. Have most of my things packed but need a few more. Collecting the music i want to listen to on the way up and back. So this is it. Been doing my exercises and have totally enjoyed myself with them. The challenge and hurdle i have to overcome to be a better top and know the correct way to play with someones ass and make sure they enjoy it. 7 hours will give me a long time to think but i am sitting smiling new panties and bra and i am already feeling like a new woman. til later, all enjoy your day & evening and i will try to recapture in detail my experience with my teacher later dsj |
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Just talk to my teacher and i am psyched about tomorrow. I have a great attitude and willing to be a passenger for the ride. He will take to me to new heights and i can't wait. This will enable me to be a better top because with this understanding of how it should feel and my fears set aside.
whoa............ who would think i would finally find someone to get me over this hurdle and baggage i have been carrying around for almost 30 years.. I can't wait teacher and i will be your best student ever. My nipples are hard, my pussy getting extremely wet in anticipation and i can not wait for to feel the pleasure from ass play & penetration. Life can't get any better than this. dsj |
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I have received a few e-mails saying they are confused with my journal entries. I leave this friday morning to meet my teacher and it is a 7 hr drive. He and I connected on different levels so I am placing my greatest asset (me) into his capable hands. I am a switch but given the choice I like the top. This will be the first time in many many years that i will be a bottom. Should be interesting. When I started out in this lifestyle eons ago I had a very bad experience with ass play and have shied away from it for nearly 30 yrs. Now I am going to overcome this challange with the help of my teacher. My next entry will be when i return. For those who are having problems following my entries please note there is no ryhme or reason how i write it is just from the heart. dsj |
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I got an e-mail that said "you don't have to drive 7 hours" That may be true. This person and I not only have the roles right but we clicked on some other level. I have a hard time being a sub for just anyone because I am a true switch liking it equally both ways.
Plus no one took the time to explain how different ass play is than with playing with a pussy. I guess the explanation set me at ease. I find myself having to know what went wrong in the past by being mishandled and now he wants me to experience it the right way and enjoy it fully. So there is another kind of connection between us. In short it is so much more than the scene or act. I personnally have to have few other connections with a person. Call me strange but this is me. Mostly, I will always follow my gut feeling when it comes to be intimate with someone. My being is the most precious asset to me. dsj |
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today I realized how much BDSM means to me. I am driving nearly 7 hrs to have someone who is very skillful show me that ass play is enjoyable. I have never met this person, have chatter, im and phone and now i drive. I am placing alot of trust into this person. I have always believed that there a people who we met in our lifetime who are meant to show us things that we have had bad experiences and help usto overcome them. In turn putting us back into balance. This person makes my blood rush and i get tingling thinking about the scene. This is my definition of normal for me. dsj |
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