DarkSorrow

Male Submissive, 32

Female Submissive, 27, Tumwater, Washington

Male Submissive, 19, kersey, Pennsylvania

Well a lot of things have happened since my last entry (which I apologize was some time ago). ?? Master and I have been looking for a third to join our family and we believe that we have found a lovely person that fits right in.? She will be joining us within the next few months.? I will post updates on this and how our family is doing once she is here and settled. We have also met the most wonderful photographer on this site.? We have hit it off and are in discussions to do a website with him.? We are even talking about doing some other projects in the future that will also be revealed at a later date.? I am not going to reveal who he is as that is up to him and being that I am selfish I want to keep him all to myself as I am enjoying taking him down the path of total corruption way too much share.? Ahhhh, lovely corruption.? We are corrupting another friend from DC.? Total beautiful person inside and out.? Of Irish decent and now an American citizen.? Could corrupt her over and over and over and over.......opppps sorry got caught in a lope apparently. ? Anyway, we are introducing her to the wonderful world of Pony play and hope to collaborate with her at Camp Crucible for the pony show next year.? Ah camp...... Have I ever talked about Camp Cruible?? Well for those of you that know me I have (more than likely to the point where you would like to gag me or pull my tongue from my mouth permanantly) but well camp is just such a wonderful place.? It is five days of fetish and kink and just great people.? It is not like the conventions you can attend (and that we have) that you can be who you want to be within the confines of the convention location but going to and from you must be "vanilla".? Now I don't know about the rest of you but going in and out of subbie head is just very difficult for me.? A little back ground on this and me just for those of you that may not understand what I am getting at.? In my professional life I am a very together, in charge person.? I have a position that demands that I work with every level of our organization and stick to very tight deadlines.? Now I have always had professional positions and have been in executive positions as well.? I am a very take charge, in your face type of person.? My subbie self though (once she fully comes out) is not that way.? She is still very detailed and organized and wants to do things the proper way but she can be soft and sort of "go with the flow" as well.? So with conventions I go from one extreme to the other in a matter of minutes and honestly it is emotionally draining.? Where as at camp i get to simply be me.? I can be Shadow Dancer the pony for the show or if Master allows Isis kitty can come out.? Otherwise I am just simply Masters girl.? And let me tell you, camp last year had alot of firsts for me.? First number one was the pony show (Master has pictures of me in my toe boots on his site).? I danced a tango in toe boots while wearing only a leather corsett.? Now for those that know me this was a huge, huge, huge thing as that sort of thing scares the death out of me.? Not the corsett or the wearing of it but wearing only that for an audiance full of people.? Master also has had me go topless now there as well.? Although I will confess that with my nipple rings and the gold chain that connects them I don't feel as naked as i would normally. So as you can see there have been firsts and changes which have resulted in an interesting year.? I have learned and have grown a lot in the past year.? This is amazing since I am not getting any younger.? So the saying "you may not be able to teach an old dog new tricks" may be true but you can teach a "not admitting how old" kitty new tricks.? I have been learning to be more open with things and actually talk about them rather than let them fester to the point of self destruction.? This has been a long bumpy road for me and I still have a long way to go.? But progress of any kind is a positive thing.? Granted the self destructive tendencies are still there and do at times still rear their ugly heads but I am learning how to cope with them a little better. So all and all I guess you could say that it has been a good year.? And we can only wait and see what the future is going to bring with more changes. ?

Sir Michael gave me a wonderful (although somewhat painful) Birthday gift this past Saturday. I am now the proud owner of pierced nipples. It is odd for me to look down and see these shiny silver rings where there used to be nothing but nipples. I find myself sneaking a peak every chance I get. Now, not being a pain slut of any sense I will confess that they hurt like crazy when they were done. But some pain is worth while when the end results look as beautiful as these do. I found myself on saturday spending a great deal more time naked which is an odd thing for me to do as I am not 100% happy with myself. But as I confessed to my Sir i just did not feel as naked with them as i had in the past. What an odd thought/feeling. Have been pondering that for the past two days now and still can't come up with a really good logical answer for myself. OH well, long and short of things i am so happy for the gift that he gave me. He really does know the right things to give.

Things that scare. I love knives. Sharp, shiny and pointy. They scratch, they cut and they are at their very best when they draw blood. Hmmmm, just thinking about them can often send me off into my own little world. And yet if you then mention to me needles and the idea of playing with them my world turns from the wonderful foggy grey to a pulsating red. Now understand that I am not afraid of needles. Have experienced them many times in my life. Not in the lifestyle mind you, but in real every day life. Have had them under my knees to drain fluid, have had several spinal taps, blood draws (I am anemic so this happened a lot as a child and teenager to monitor). I can watch needles as they go in my arm to draw blood and be completely fascinated as I watch it flowing into the tube. And yet when someone mentions them for play I get a cold chill that runs the entire length of my spine. I watch as others use needles in play and the designs are beautiful and the people involved have a special bond and yet it still makes me shudder. Put a knife to my throat and I will sigh and almost purr. I am putty for you to play with. But put a needle to my body and you will find me tense and trying to resign myself to something I know you will enjoy but I will only endure.

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