ive recently returned from a 2 week stay with very close friends back home, returning back here has left me with strong feelings i wasent expecting. pondering these feelings this last day, ive realised what im needing most of all in life.

i need to find someone who will always be there for me regardless of whats going on, someone who dosent like being away from me. physical contact i crave the most of all, especially recently, a hug, a touch of the shoulder and even someone to just sit next to me on the chair.

even tho im living with people im so lonely, i gess you could say im suffering from the "am i dreaming" frame of mind. just being able to touch someone to know their there and im not dreaming would ease my fear and and my nightmares.

but where are people that would be strong enough, where are they hiding. all i want is someone to keep me safe, someone to take care of me for a change. don't get my wrong play partners are fun, adventurious and easy going, but i dont want to sleep alone any more, i want to go to sleep listening to someones heart beat as im held safe drifting off to sleep, to curl up against someone to just feel safe enough to cry.