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curiousone85

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Friends:
IceDeepOzarkWandman

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UPDATE: Hi, to get the basic stuff out of the way my name is Bethany, I live in Rogers AR and have been her about 2 years. I'm in college for my Bachelors is Psychology. I am married to a wonderful man named Leo and we've been together a little over 3 and half years. Okay now on to the rest, I've had this account for a while now. When I first opened it Leo and I were decided that I was going to look for a Dom outside the relationship because he is not a Dom by nature. However through his own self discovery he has realized he wants to explore the Dominate side of himself. The problem is he is very new, just like me. So due to our joint lack of experience and limited knowledge I am now looking to be trained in person by someone local who would eventually turn me over to him, if and when he is ready. He is very much in new territory with all this and may find that this life is not for him. We still will remain together no matter what happens as far as my training or ownership goes. This is very close to what I first put up only the situation with my husband has changed. Leo's main request or rather regulation is that he is allowed to get to know anyone thats looking to train me, he is concerned only for my safety, so know he is not looking to dictate to you what will happen. He would also like to meet whoever is going training me and be present or have the option to be present to observe the sessions, again only for my safety. This may seem like a lot but I want to be completely upfront with anyone looking to get to know me. Well if I sound like someone you'd be interested in please drop me a line and we can see where it goes.

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10/6/2011 10:20:10 PM

So I've decided to switch my journal over to here sense it seems more likely I'll keep up with it better that way. I bought a new book called SlaveCraft. It seems pretty interesting so far, its just theres so much to this lifestyle that I still don't know or understand. I go off my own feelings and inclination but they aren't getting me very far. It has come about to my extreme surprise that Leo my husband actually does have some pretty strong Dom personality traits and wants to explore them with me. The issue which has been getting worse sense the beginning of last month is that we live with his parents and can't move out till the end of the month. Given this, us moving forward in our explorations is halted till we move out. A pressure is building and its very frustrating. We also are a little confused as to what we will do once we're on our own. We have a friend helping guide us but its hard when we can't actually do anything yet. Another issue I'm having is that no matter how much I want to submit even in the smallest ways there is a part of me that rebels. I'm realizing that I treat Leo almost as my sub sometimes and I don't know why. It may be that I want him to fight back and take control or it could be that our current societal norms dictate men and women are equal and that is so ingrained in me that I fight any type of him dominating in stereotypical male ways. I want to be his equal but also his sub and I can't seem to reconcile the two.


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Arabella23
 
 Age: 26
  California