curiousnewby

Recently, I wrote to a domme a letter of introduction. I thought it was a very nice letter. I was polite, witty, intelligent, didn?t give a laundry list and was positive throughout. The response I got back was;

?I would never ever associate with you publicly or in any other circumstances?

And I was like ?WHOA! Where did THAT come from???!? So, thinking it was me, because I am the newby, I wrote away to two domme pen pals of mine asking just what I had done wrong in my letter, both agreed it was fine and they didn?t have a clue as to what the issue was.

But, still, the totality of this letter bothers me. I mean, NEVER? NEVER EVER Associate with me? Like if you were in a parking lot with your hands full of groceries and you dropped your car keys you would NEVER EVER accept my assistance of picking them up for you? That kind of never ever? Wow! I must have upset you something awful.

Or, maybe she was having a bad day.

Either way the damage is done, and that?s another domme I have to scratch off my list. Sigh?the list does seem to get shorter doesn?t it? But you know, if there is one rule that I have lived by, and it has served me pretty well, it?s;

?Be good to strangers, because we all were strangers once?

Now, I am not suggesting this dome should have sent me flowers and a great big plushie bear with a note saying ?Sorry, not interested? but a LITTLE civility does go a long way. Better she say nothing than MAKE the effort to insult, especially unprovoked as she was.

Dommes, I know your time on CM is precious. I know you are bombarded with hundreds of e-mails every day and I am sorry that the majority of them are from cavemen barely able to utter two syllables without reaching for their clubs. I can do nothing about that. But remember two things;

1) Be nice. If you have the energy to reply to something, try to be nice. Throwing negative energy in response to negative energy is wasteful and emotionally exhausting. Nothing gets accomplished and you don?t feel any better. But better you not reply to a letter than reply with something like what I received. All that did was make me feel that I had wasted my time ever looking at you and you were so not worth my consideration.

2) Not everyone on this site has an angle, or is looking for an advantage. Some are genuinely looking for something better in their lives and they thought maybe you could be it. Be careful of becoming SO streetwise on CM that you loose that wonderful sense of ?what if?. Jaded Cynicism is self defense at the expense of hope and optimism. Make sure you protect yourself, by all means, but not so completely that nothing can get through your defenses and all approaches are equally struck down, false and sincere. Judge me for me, not upon all those who came before me and disappointed you.

I do not believe any of us joined this site to be rude and insulting to each other. I definitely don?t believe we continue on this site to harass and make others feel bad about their choices. We are all looking for something better. You, Me, Them, He, She, Those over there, all of us. We all set the tone of the community we inhabit. That?s right! We all make our CM personal experience as good or as bad as it is based upon our treatment of each other, so let?s just take it easy out there shall we? Let?s not make our first reaction always to be that we need to go and grab a hold of some big rock every time someone draws near.

Who knows? It?s up to you, really. But wouldn?t it be nice to think ?what if? again?
 
At least, that?s the way I see it.
Newby

A couple of days ago I happen to stumble into one of CM?s fine chat rooms. Ended up in a FemDom one, and it was nice for about 10 minutes until I got booted for saying I didn?t think much of Elise Sutton.

Now, don?t get me wrong, I AM embarrassed for somehow enraging the moderators of the chat room so greatly that they saw the need to boot me. So embarrassed, that I slunk away with my tail between my legs and called it a night feeling very foolish and silly. I don?t mind being in the minority, but I DO mind not being allowed to explain myself and just getting ganked.

Now, just for the record, Elise Sutton is not the Alpha and Omega of Female Dominance. She?s just another person, making her way in the world, and she found methods that worked for her to attain her goals and she built a philosophy around it. And anyone can go to her site and read about it or purchase any number of her books and gather her wisdom unto them should they so choose. But what you have to remember, Mrs. Sutton is ONLY telling you what worked for her. And anything she does should not be blindly followed because then you only succeed in having her train your sub to suit her needs not yours. Like all ?How To? Books, whether it be Sutton or Bellemare or Abernathy or Akasha, you have to pick and choose what you read to tailor fit what you want to accomplish. Every Domme has to find a style as unique as she is.

So anyways, I just wanted to take this moment to explain myself and why I think Elise Sutton isn?t all that and a bag of chips.

Ready?

The biggest issue I have with Elise Sutton is her philosophy of Female Superiority. So you maybe reading this and say ?SO!??! Women are SUPERIOR YOU WORM!!!? to which I feel I need to respond with, No, YOU are superior. There?s a Big difference, and beholding to a philosophy that acknowledges NOTHING about you as an individual (not your experience, your spirit, your personality or ANYTHING else about you) matters. And the only reason you should be worshipped is because you are female.

PPPFFFTTTTTTT?.

Go back through time and you WILL find MANY grand theories by very respected and honored persons all espousing the same crap.

Black Supremacy
White Supremacy
Master Aryan Race

And the List just goes on and on. And each was wrong then, although at the time they had many, many believers, and they are all still just as wrong now.

I always thought Men and Women are different but equal. It's a shame that one would look at the differences and see only a reason to justify a Superior cause and reason why they should be unjustly elevated. It's the differences that make us compliment each other, make us come together and love each other. It's not a reason why one should rule over the other.

Mark my words, superiority based upon genetics has NEVER served it's creators well, nor how they ever imagined. It's a slippery slope that hurts everyone, and totally devalues the those being vaunted as ?Superior? by reducing them to binary genetic ?1??s and ?0??s and not respecting, nor bringing into the equation, who they are as individuals.

Yes ladies, those of you Superior as so because of WHO you ARE. Not because of the Double ?X? chromosome, some fluke at time of conception.

So, yes, I am submissive, but it is not becuase I am male. It is simply who I am. I won?t just fall over with my legs in the air if a woman commands it. I am looking to surrender only to one woman, and she is going to have to prove to me how superior she is as a person before I will offer her my soul.  OH MY GOD! What the heck am I thinking huh??!!

And Yea, I know it will probably mean I end up dying alone. But better that than perpetuate a lie that would hurt so many, to make a few feel better about themselves.

And THAT?S why I am not too impressed with Elise Sutton. Just would have been nice, before getting kicked from that chat room, if I could have been given a chance to defend myself. Maybe one of the good people in the chatroom might have responded with "Why do you think that?" and then an honest discussion and exchange of ideas could begin.

Because, after all, if a theory is sound, it SHOULD be able to stand up to examination and debate. Not just stated as fact and any attempt to discuss it be squashed without mercy.

I would always advise you to never accept doctrine as a suitable alternative to debate.

At least, that?s how I see it
Newby

Well, lets see now;

Smart? CHECK!
Interesting? CHECK!
Funny? CHECK!
Life in Order and in a good space for a relationship? UN-Check.

Crap.

Well, I don?t regret jumping in with both feet. I would do it again in a heartbeat. It?s just how I love. But sort of a drag that something that showed so much promise ended up fizzling out so totally. We?ve agreed to be friends. Oh Goodie! That?s just what I need more of! Lol. But, ladies, if you contact me, make sure you have room in your life for someone else.

It takes two people to make a relationship work.