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Male Dominant, 63, Brossard, Quebec
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Male Submissive, 57, Québec
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About cuirnoir0
French speaking submissive man, mid-forties, looking for the light of his life in or near Quebec city. I am a domestic sub, mainly, and I would very much like to serve a mature lady aged from 60 and up, non-smoker, strict and controlling. I am not interested in dungeon plays. I find them to be nothing more than a caricature of the real thing. I want to serve a lady, do her household chores and be attentive to her every needs. I have a fetish for leather gloves (which can be used to control me even more) and I love to buy some for the lady I serve.
I would like to know you and spend many great years at your feet, for as long as you will want me. |
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I changed my profile today. Please read it if you are serious. |
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Still searching... Do you even exist, Madam? You live around Quebec City, you are non-smoker, free, aged between 30-70, very authoritarian, strict, controlling, and would like to have a domestic slave to serve you on a regular basis. Please, if you read this and know you are the one for me, contact me. Happiness should not be wasted on hesitations. |
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Even if most stores don't sell leather gloves at this time of the year, it is still time for me to offer some beautiful gloves to a Lady that will be willing to take me under Her wing. I love to give gloves, it's a true passion for me and if I have the occasion to do so, I will try to find exactly what You are ordering me to give You, whether You prefer longer gloves or shorter and stylish ones. I see this first gift as an introduction to a relation that will grow steadily. I will offer You more gloves with time, of course, and you will become one of the most well-gloved Lady around, a true Glove Queen. Would You like that, Madam? |
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What more can I say to help my cause? I am truly obedient. This is mainly for two reasons: at the feet of a Lady, I will do my best to obey out of fear of being rejected after a so long and arduous search and also because I receive great pleasure in knowing that I have done something good for my Mistress. I am gentle, caring and there is no aggressivity in me. I can accept and tolerate a lot of pain if my dear Mistress wishes to use me for that purpose. I can work hard to make sure her house or appartment is clean, immaculate. I have a lot of free time because I only work 4 days a week so my free time will be Yours. I don't smoke, don't drink, don't do drugs. I'm a quiet, shy person who seeks a new reason to live. I truly hope You will become this reason and be my guiding light. |
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Sadly, I'm beginning to feel like this is getting me nowhere. I've been searching for more than ten years now and I'm still looking. Honestly, right now, this whole thing seems just like a complete waste of time. If You have any encouraging thoughts, now is the time to share them with me, Madam.
I read a lot of profiles, see a lot of pictures from beautiful Ladies. There are many marvelous Dominant Women on this site but they all live far away. Each time I see an unreachable Lady I would like to serve, it hurts me almost physically. And day after day, I'm all alone and trapped with this unshakable desire to serve and can't seem to find someone appropriate near me. I feel tired and weak. |
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On Offering Gloves...
Just came back from the stores where I saw numerous pairs of lovely leather gloves to buy. The only thing missing was a Woman by my side trying some of those sexy gloves and waiting for me to offer her a pair or two... or ordering me to do so. When the cold temperature arrives, I feel happy and miserable at the same time. Happy because I'll be seeing more and more beautiful gloved Ladies and miserable because luck is not with me and somehow, I can't fulfill the simplest of my fantasies. This is hard, really hard. I had some occasions, in the past, to offer gloves to a Lady who was genuinely interested in my gifts and each time, I felt a great joy, euphoria like, totally invade me. I want to relive this experience so badly. I'm not asking for much. In fact, I want to give... and I can't... :( |
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Do You like to receive compliments?
Compliments on Your hair, make-up, on what You are wearing in specific ("You have lovely boots") or general ("You look marvelous.")?
This is something that intrigues me a lot. I am pretty sure most Women like to receive compliments but I'm sure some think that the complimenting men have some agenda, some goal in mind when doing so. I tend to ignore that possibility nowadays because, as I said before in this journal, I simply love to compliment.
I learned that a few years ago. A Woman in Her early forties walked into the store where I work. She was just stunning. Not very tall, not too thin, just a healthy weight. She was wearing black knee high shiny leather boots, a short black skirt, a splendid white rabbit fur jacket on wich Her blonde hair fell (I usually prefer dark hair but this time, it was too much to resist), and a big silver bracelet on some very nice thin and high quality leather gloves. I was with another customer when She arrived so She waited patiently. I looked at Her from the corner of my eyes and my heart immediatly started to beat faster. I knew I had to face Her so I was preparing mentally while finishing a transaction with the current customer. When Her turn arrived, I tried to keep my eyes right in Hers but it was really difficult. I just wanted to look at Her, carve Her image into my memory. And I so, so, so much wanted to give Her some compliments. I had a couple of them in mind but they never came out... The fear of being misinterpreted just paralyzed me. And soon (too soon), She found the merchandise She wanted and left. And I watched Her leave and felt so empty and disappointed at myself.
From this day on, I kind of forced myself to say it out loud when I find something interesting about a Woman. And I always feel good afterwards. What motivated me to start this? Precisely the event I just related. This Woman's look was so calculated, so precisely devastating that it was only meant to hypnotize and generate compliments. I'm pretty sure now that when a Woman takes time to buy something pretty, change Her hair cut or apply Her brand new lipstick, She wants to be noticed and receive some aknowledgement of that. Am I right or wrong? |
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Fake Domme Detection For Dummies (like me)
They are everywhere on this site. In all the profiles listed, there are at least as much fake Dommes as real Dommes. I've been duped a couple of times by them (I'm not afraid to admit it) and now it's time I fight back.
What is a fake Domme? A male, heterosexual or a male with homosexual tendencies (curious, bi or plain gay) that tries to pass for a Dominant female. Obviously and even if their profile says otherwise, they have no intention to meet and they only want one thing: online thrills.
So how do we recognize them? There is no way to be 100% sure. But some clues might help. Here is a list of those clues (remember: those are clues, not necessarily proofs):
1-The photo: more than often, there is no photo on the profile and if you ask them to show you one, they will give you a good reason to avoid doing this, like "my cat just pressed deleted when I was about to send it to you." On the other hand, some profiles will show one photo (not 2 or 3, but 1) of very good quality or very bad quality but rarely anything in between. Some of them will show out-of-this-world beautiful models, right out from the pages of a porn or fashion magazine or some will show a small pic resized up by 300% so there is not much else to see but a grainy mosaic.
2-The location: They maybe from Somewhere, Arizona but they will not say it. Russia (many of them), Stockholm, Austria, Japan, Bulgaria are better places to choose, more exotic. Some of those profile will be from the USA or Canada but you can be sure that the town they've chosen will never be close to the one you live in.
3-The lesbian Domme: there is more lesbian Dommes on this site that there is vanilla lesbians in this whole world! Obviously, a few of them are real, most of them are not. Heterosexual fake Dommes will obviously choose to be lesbian Dommes. The "absolutely No Males" mention is not a proof, but combined with an exotic location and a photo of a babe to die for, this definetly rings the alarm.
4-The understanding Domme: this one is tough to detect and to avoid being caught by. They will be of the homo category and have a more realistic profile. They will usually read your entire profile to know your weaknesses and then stike. They will communicate first, be really interested by your goals, desires, fantasies, fetishes, etc. Then, one thing leads to another and you are caught in an erotic exchange. After that, be sure that you will receive no more news of this person as he will move to another victim with the efficiency of a locust plague.
So, to people reading this: if you feel a profile does not sound or look right, don't be afraid to hit the "report profile" button. Real Dommes should be involved in this also because I believe it is not good for their search to have so many fakes among them. Be vigilant... unless being caught in a cheap thrill is what you want. |
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My fetish for leather gloves may be a bit less popular than other fetishes. But my love for leather boots is something I know I share with many men. At this time of the year, there is nothing more beautiful to see than a pretty woman wearing a skirt and a sexy pair of knee high leather boots. Black boots, brown boots, red boots... they all catch my eyes inevitably and make my heart go faster. The boot is a simple fetish that most Women can afford and can be used to boost their power of attraction tenfold. Madam, put on Your pair of boots and go to the mall, check the eyes look down when you pass by some males and You will know I am right. The boot is an undeniable symbol of power and it should be used abundantly by Women in the BDSM lifestyle and even vanilla Women who want a more appealing look. As it is also one of the most widespread clothing fetish (after the underwears and the nylons), it is a garanteed success so it is totally worth the investment. |
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In their profile, many Ladies say that we, subs/slaves, do not take the appropriate time to read what they have written before emailing or just skipping to the next profile. They are probably right. But I, for one, have read most of Your profiles at least one time, Miladies. Why? Simply because I want to know more about how a Domme thinks, what She wants and hope to obtain, what She wishes to project to the inferior beings that we are, etc. So, to understand more, I read. In my readings, I?ve caught some positive and negative things as well. For the negative aspects, I?ve found that the gap of misunderstanding between the two clans of the Dommes and the subs/slaves is wide and deep. In their profiles, the majority of Ladies ask that we, sub/slaves, immediatly relinquish our fetishes and fantasy and say ?yes madam? because we have no other right than that. The Ladies don?t have to comply with any of our desires because they are in control. The mere attempt to tell what lies in our wild dreams (because we have some, we are not machines) is taxed as ?topping from the bottom?. I?ve read this expression a thousand times. Being a frenchie, I didn?t understand immediatly what it meant but now I know. The Dommes, particularly those who look for a slave, wish to have total control without any concessions. At first sight, it seems natural for a powerful person to own another so completely. But after reading such demands so often, one question inevitably pops in my mind: is this realistic? I admit that most of us, males, on this site are not serious. But those who are want to give their time, effort, blood and sweat, part of their money to serve a Lady. If we take two seconds to think about it, we will realize that is whole gift is huge and precious. No? Think again: a human being is ready to give a good part of his/her freedom to You. For that reason, in my humble opinion, this gift should not be given lightly. Of course, a sub/slave abandonning his/her freedom will gain by having the joy to serve a beautiful authoritarian Lady. But if his/her needs (fetishes and fantasies) are just brushed aside and never considered, the future relation is doomed from the start. So, Ladies, You have the option to pick anyone You like in a sea of sub/slave. If the desires of one is not compatible with You, it is more than ok to skip to the other profile. But please, for the love of this lifestyle, if one grabs Your attention, hear what he/she has to say... and consider it. |
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Just a thought... but an interesting one. A few days ago, I've written a journal entry about what I feel when I have the occasion to give a pair of leather gloves (my favorite fetish) to a Lady. Before that entry, I rarely received messages, just a few ones coming from great Ladies who where genuinely interested in what I had in my profile/journal. But after this entry, messages where abundant. Now, Ladies from all around the world message me to order a pair of gloves and many other things (one asked for a "visit to the spa".) Of course, I am not going to give a thing to someone I won't ever meet in my life. Being submissive is not the same as being stupid (at least, this is valid for me). So, the question behind all this is: why the sudden interest? Maybe because I used the word "tribute" in my journal and my profile popped up when greedy "Mistresses" made a text search on this site? I've expressed my point of view before on this subject and will do it again: a real Dominant Lady, one who has power and class (You don't need to be rich to have both of these), will never ask for anything. She will ensnare the mind of Her sub/slave with such power that the poor creature will unconsciously and happily spoil the Lady. Those Dames are rare. But they do exist. The hundred ones who ask for, order for or even beg for anything financially or materially are (to me) dependant. And a dependant person can't really be dominant, in the pure essence of the word, no matter how hard she hit or how loud she shout.
Now, I'm pretty sure my mail box will be empty for a few days... |
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It has been a while since I offered a pair of nice leather gloves to a Lady. I miss this so much! The offering, as a whole, is a great experience for me: questionning the Lady on her preferences, choosing the perfect pair of gloves for Her, giving Her this tribute and seeing Her put on slowly each gloves before me... After that, maybe, if the Lady liked my present, and if She decides that I am worthy of a reward, She will allow me to kiss Her newly gloved hand, smell the leather, feel its softness.
Not being able to do that is pure torture to me. |
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Colder temperatures will be upon us soon and for the Ladies who live in northern United States or Canada, here is a little suggested experiment you might enjoy. Go shop for a nice pair of leather gloves or two (but choose quality over quantity if your budget is tight) or if you own such gloves already, get them out of their drawer. On the first cold day that will happen in your town/city, put on those lovely gloves and go out. Walk on the streets, enter some shops, stores or restaurant but whatever you do, keep you hands visible (holding the strap of a purse hanged on your shoulder might be a good way of showing your gloved hand). If you enter somewhere, like a store, keep your gloves on. If you buy something, especially if a male clerk or cashier served you, be sure to lightly touch his hand with your soft gloved fingers.
What is the point of all this, you will say? Observe reactions. Are you getting more looks, more attention than usual? Reading this, you will probably think: "He's a glove fetishist so he is just deep in his fantasy". Well, yes I am a glove fetishist but to be honest, this experience goes further than that. For a long time, the glove has been a symbol of elegance, taste, distinction, class. When the glove is made of leather, all that is doubled in intensity. The leather glove may be out of fashion since the end of the sixties or so but its symbolic value remains. So this little experiment is worth trying for any Lady. Of course, you will not get as much attention as if your were wearing leather boots, wich have more sex appeal (I will comment on those in a future journal entry). But heads will turn, that I can guarantee. And you might as well get a few compliments on those gloves if you chose them stylish enough. |
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I am paying dearly for the thousand (and more) wannabe and bad-mannered subs on this site.
When I have a few minutes of free time, I love to browse on this site and read the Mistresses' profiles, see their photos. When I read intelligent comments or see a beautiful woman, I love to compliment on Her ideas and thoughts, Her beauty, Her elegance, Her taste for clothes, hair style and make-up. This is who I am. I love to do it in real life and love to do it here also. It does not mean that I want to intrude in a Mistress' life or anything. Most of Them live hundred miles from where I live and I have no desire to relocate or move each time I compliment a Lady.
A few (very few) Ladies respond kindly to my mails. Most simply ignore or delete them. I know Your time is precious, Madam. I know Your search is important and ongoing and most of the time, mere compliments are of no use to You. In fact, they would probably please You if You were not receiving plenty of emails saying "wanna chat?" or "I have a cam, cum and see". There are some precious stones in the pile of rocks. They are there for You to pick. If a person deletes all Her email without even looking, what is the point of being on this site?
I wish to thank all the great Ladies who took a few seconds of their very precious time to respond to my mails. Know that the compliment I made to You was truly sincere. |
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The gloves is by far the best clothing fetish!
I am not saying that just because I am a glove fetishist. There are many reasons why I consider the glove as one of the most powerful and underestimated weapon of charm there is for women, dominant or not. First of all, it comes in many material or fabric, each having their own texture and signature: lycra, satin, silk, velvet, latex, pvc, suede and, above all, leather. Whether a woman opts for the glamour of satin, the chic of suede or the shear beauty of leather, she will make head turns. Second, gloves can have style. They are not just sheaths to protect hands from cold. They are made in many colors and can bear many types of decorations to give that special look an elegant woman is looking for: beads, fur, rhinestones, buttons, zippers, lace, etc. Finally, they cover the hand, wich is one of the main tool of contact between human beings. They can be used to slap, spank, touch, caress or give pleasure.
Every woman, dominant or not should wear gloves. From the beginning of the 20th century until the fifties or sixties, most women were well gloved (particularly, of course, those of the middle or upper class). It was part of an code of conduct that is no longer required. It is unfortunate now that women have so many clothing styles to choose from that they don't add this simple but charming accessory to their wardrobe. Every Domina should wear them, even if they don't have contacts with glove fetishists because gloves are beautiful to every eye. I live in a country were winters are cold and I consider myself lucky to see many beautiful gloved ladies in winter, but as soon as spring comes, the gloves disappear. I work in public, in a store, and sometimes, when I see a woman shopping with her gloves on, I know I'm watching at a real Lady. Too bad there are not more women with that subtle touch of elegance. |
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Most of the mistresses here or on any other BDSM sites are motivated first by money and then for their passion. In profiles, the words "reward", "tribute", "gift" or simply "cash" is more than often accompanied by "must give" or "must provide". That last expression, more than any other, tells a lot about this phenomenon. It reveals something hidden about those mistresses, something that breaks all the charm and mystery that is suppose to surround a dominant Lady: the lack of independency. And, if we follow the logical trail of this, if a person is not independant, it also means that this person is not in control or in a situation of power. Wich also means that, in truth, this person is not a real dominant person. Even if there is whipping, kneeling, worshipping, etc, no matter how authoritarian the pro domme is, if there is a situation were money is funneled every time to the dominant by the sub, then the sub provides and the Domme depends. This is a simple equation.
Now, the real Mistress or dominant Lady that haunts the dreams of many subs/slaves, including mines, is independant, has her own money and does not have to wait for anybody to live and thrive. She prefers quality over quantity and She will choose carefully 1 or more sub/slaves for her own needs. Loving their Mistress, the subs/slaves will surely give to Her some gifts because they estimate her. More than often, those voluntary gifts will be useful for the Lady not just because of their value or uses, but because it will tell a lot to Her about the subs/slaves' desires (like a clothing fetish, for example). This kind of Lady is in control for real, not just theatrically.
I know this post will irritate some persons but I had to tell it. I don't expect to change anything, I just wanted to express myself. |
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A fetish evolves with time. And it does not just change, it also gives birth to other fetishes or ramifications, just like a tree with its many branches. Most males usually start with one fetish, wheter it be mild or more serious. Naturally, the fetishist will seek to look at or contact ladies who bear his fetish, be delighted by the sight of it and by the touch of it ultimately. Sights or contacts will multiply and new associations will be made in the brain of the fetishist: other objects (like underwear, leather garments, jewels, etc) or body parts (like breasts, feet, hair, etc) noticed when the main fetish is observed will begin to create a new desire. With time, these new desires will aquire enough strenght to be fetishes of their own. They will not probably be as strong as the main fetish but will be important nonetheless. And the process will continue: second level fetishes will lead to third level fetishes and so on. Does that mean that the fetishist get sicker with time? The answer to this may depend on your point of view. For myself, I consider that the degree of attachment to fetishes (and not their numbers) is the key to know if a fetishist can evolve perfectly in the society or loose contact with reality. For males, controlled fetishes, numerous or not, are to sexuality what spices are to a meal. Women who understand this mechanism will not be scared away when their male companions open themselves to them about what they love. They might even enjoy. :) |
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Fetishism is one of the most powerful weapons for Dommes. And I'm not just talking about the term as it is used nowadays, "Fetish Lifestyle", or "Fetish Fashion". Yes, it can be that, but it can be much more. A fetish is basically an inanimated object (more than often clothes), a body part or even a habit or gesture (like the smoking fetish, wich I don't have). The vast majority of fetishists are males and in fact, the vast majority of males are fetishists, in one form or another. Of course there are different degrees of attachment to that object of desire but the bottom line is that fetishes are weaknesses that every woman should use to have some level of control on males. Particularly Dominas. The sexuality of men is a very materialistic one and for a dominant woman to understand and realize that is one big step ahead in her quest for control. With the basic idea that each man has a weakness she can exploit, the only thing a Lady has to do now is to discover it (or them). In their profiles, some Dominas say that aknowledging and using the fetishes of their sub males just gives them what they want and puts them in a position of superiority. The problem with this idea is that a real fetishist does not always need to have sexual gratification with the fetish to be satisfied. For example, a boot fetishist would be subjugated and in total admiration for a Lady who wore boots in his presence and allowed him to look but not touch or sometimes, rarely, kiss or clean them. The control power a Domme Lady would develop with this method would be astounding because what is forbidden generates more desire. Another idea that Dominas sometimes have about fetishes is that the fetish will have more attention by the sub than her. It may be true in some cases because some men are really dependant of their fetishes. But this is a minority. Most of fetishists will build a true adoration for the Woman who accepts to wear/use/show his beloved fetish and see her as a very open-minded person, wich is a rare quality.
So fetishism is a weapon, whether it is used in vanilla or BDSM life. To ignore this reality, willingly or not, is to put aside a whole universe of possibilities over control and subjugation. |
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Is the BDSM lifestyle a blessing or a curse? I've asked myself this question a lot lately. I'm speaking on the side of subs but Doms probably live the same things. Being submissive is not something that you can just turn off like a tv set. You can push back the desires that come with this state of mind for a while but they will come back. So, at the end, you have to live with it. Now, if every submissive person had a real good chance of finding its Dominant soulmate, the world would be a paradise for us. When a sub do find the Dominant person he/she is looking for, he/she can express and live his/her sexuality and lifestyle at last. And there is no greater joy than this. An impression of bliss and accomplisment is felt and, in that sense, BDSM is a blessing. But this quest can be tough and very long. Days, months and years go by without the glimpse of an hope of finding what you are looking for. Frustrations begin to pile up. Those desires become a cannonball linked to your leg by a chain and you must pull this weight wherever you go, whatever you do. This is the curse. I've often dreamed of being pure vanilla, rid of my beloved fetishes or any BDSM ideas. But this can't happen. We are what we are. For better or worse. |
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Real Mistresses are rare in Quebec City. In fact, almost impossible to find. Of this small fraction, a big part are disguised prostitutes and ask for money. As there are so many sub males and much more "sub-for-a-day" or "wannabe" sub males, business must be very good for them. But people who really care about BDSM are litteraly buried and forgotten. This is a sad but true situation in my beloved city, and probably elsewhere too. People who seek BDSM lifestyle are left alone in their quest for the light.
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