1/4/2010 2:51:33 AM

I have found my Sir, and I am very happy with him.  I feel cared for and respected and he treats me well He does not mind me having a profile on here and I am happy to chat with people still - but I am not looking to replace Sir Thank you !

11/14/2009 6:28:42 AM

Golly !! I haven't updated my journal in aaages... I feel I have aged a century since writing in my diary, perhaps I need to be more disciplined. I went on the town tonight with my girlfriends (heehee hence the semi drunk diary attempt) and I loved it until I hit the clubs, I must say ! I am very very extremely disappointed in society with the amount of men who are unsure of their sexuality so they decide to sit at a happy medium.. metrosexual I believe ??? WtF ?? excuse me for my language but I do swear when I have had a few and am passionate about something, and I believe in this instance it is called for.. Calling for all the REAL men in the world. What happened to you all, is cave man keeping you all for a rainy day lol, I am quite shocked at what society is resorting too.. I mean give me a fancy drink and a gay man to talk tall night and I will be set !! Give me a random drink and a metro sexual and it will set me confused. At least gay men know who they are, come on boys !! what is happening ??? **Cries from all rooftops in Dunedin** :(

2/1/2009 9:41:09 PM

I feel very submissive today.. but sadly nobody to share it with I want to kneel, spread my legs, place my hands behind my bottom and have my posture upright, with my back arched and my chest inflated...  Then I want to be inspected with a white glove, I am very clean, but I want my Master to make me dirty :(

1/26/2009 6:37:07 PM

Wow what a revelation ! Today I found out why I have always liked mens shoes... I was sitting at the bus stop today waiting for the bus and as I was perched on the concrete slab in a complete world of my own, I noticed a hazy shadow stood in front of me, when my eyes started to focus out of my "overly observant" world to my "reality" world I noticed he was a tall dark handsome man, and I gave him a little smile because he looked very nice.. he gave me an (acknowledging) smile in return and then leaned against the post reading his paper...... Apart from his strong smell, powerful presence which I was interrupted by, his broad shoulders, Hugo Boss looking suit, and piercing eyes to match with a beautiful smile I noticed his shoes...... He was wearing black leather square toed shoes with A laces.  My eyes fixated on them and I started to melt, I wanted to cry................... Then I got a flashback from when I was a little girl, I remembered my fathers friends (My father was very much a social light) and his friends were a very good influence on me, they all held reasonably powerful positions and used to go to gatherings and conferences together....... I distinctly remember when they would come around for dinner, they were always dressed nicely smelling strong, and wearing those kind of shoes, and I used to sit on the floor practicing my shoe lace skills on their shoes. What a special moment  !.............NOW 18  years later, I am sitting at the bus station staring up at this man and in Awe of this mans shoes...............  All I wanted to do is put down my bag, fall to my knees and crawl over to his feet and sit at his shoes.  There is a sad ending to this story.  I watched his shoes climb the steps to the bus.. people were walking by, rushing around me, collecting bags, and this man and his shoes drove away........ :(

1/6/2009 1:06:13 PM

Aparantly you can subscribe to my journal now ?  I do not have a clue how this works... Today I dressed up lovely, I felt like a 1950s girl with my blooming dress, matching handbag and heels.. I walked down the street and I noticed a lot of men looking at me, but it wasn't  the one who cared for me :( I stood patiently waiting to meet someone and I imagined waiting for you, I wanted to be picked up in flash car that smelt like fresh leather  inside and be taken for a drive.. As I hopped in I imagined you sitting there in your suit, waiting for me to get in... When we are driving you tell me that I am allowed to choose the music of my choice so I am comfortable in your presense and I am going to serve you.  I sit on my hands, (thinking that this is usual procedure when I driving with you, as I want to be of full service to you, and sitting in the car and talking with you can only provide you so much)  I want to always sit on my hands when we are driving together, to show respect.   So I am sitting there with my legs opened wide looking at you speak, watching your lips move, beautiful music is being played (of my choice) note that is the only thing I had control of, so already you have created a self assuring environment for me :) You then hitch up my skirt and slide your hands between my thighs  parting my legs... I want you to use me as your beer fridge, open me and close me as you wish, expect I am sweet bubbly wine, each time you are dipping into your honey pot to taste, prod, and feel me as much as you like.  I want to make your trip as pleasant as I can Sir.. and it is a privilage to drive with you in the front seat. These sorts of things I very much look forward to when being with you.  Reality hits me a short time later, and I see a car pull up in front of me, yes its my friend.. But she doesn't have leather interior and her car does not reek of your aftershave :( Patients is a virtue .............

12/16/2008 8:01:03 PM

I was being very random last night and I was chatting on Collar Me video chat with a friend of mine.  I think I silently love attention and I think I am a bit of a flirt :)  hehe ! Well ! It seems to be the new thing to be submissive and my friends all want to find Masters, I am a little disappointed in myself for not keeping it as private as I should have because I know that none of them are Sub or Domme.  they are just them, they don't realize that REAL subs and Doms are actually very rare, and it is something quite different to be involved in.  Also I discovered my submissive side through self discoverey, hmmm how do I let them down easy.  I certainly do not want to be the cause of another fake out there :( Help !

12/11/2008 3:26:33 AM

Here I am again...  Today I had a humbling experience in my lounge that I would like to share.  I have decided today that I seek a daddy dom, why you ask ?  Because I am needy, I was a lost little girl today in my lounge when I had my music blaring, it was a nice summer day  and I was in my mini skirt and piggy tails and much to my surprise I found myself doing  cart wheels across my lounge, I wanted to carry on but you weren't watching me...  I wanted to suck on my lolly pop and know the repercussions of not kneeling in front of you when telling me off for bouncing around with a lolly pop in my mouth, and the only way to spit it out of me was to be wrapped around your knee with a good smack on my bare bottom... and after my spanking I would be very relaxed and you would lie me down in my bed and replace my lolly pop with "something else"  when I walked up the hall I looked at my bed and looked at all my soft toys sitting there ever so neatly..  I imagined you throwing them on my floor and telling me to tidy them up and then hop under the covers because you were going to put me to bed early....

12/3/2008 11:17:29 PM

* sigh * I was at a final yearly get together tonight and after a bit of socializing I decided to go for a walk and have some time out so  I removed myself for a while and and went and sat on the swing...  I started to push myself and I was sad about the swing next to me being empty (but I did not complain)  I loved feeling the cool breeze on my face, and the sun going down. The swing set was perched on a hill above the B.B.Q and park so I had the most magnificent view of the beach and lights as it were starting to get dark....  Then I heard a scream (and got a view of Sarahs nickers as the wind blew up her skirt  lol) breezy...... it was Sarah telling me to hurry up and play soccer with them.  I looked behind me and imagined my Master pushing me on this swing, as I slowed down....I If I had you by my side I could take your orders - not my friends, but for now I will go :( Where are you Master, I am still waiting to be pushed...  ???

11/27/2008 3:21:15 AM

10/14/2008 2:45:53 AM: I want to run into my bedroom, sit on my bed crossing my legs and look up into the stars... wondering where my Master is :(As the night cools, but my crazi thoughts get hotter I want to open the window and feel the cool breeze whisper...  I feel it on my untouched unmarked pussy.  It feels like your breathe Sigh*  Master... where are you ?

11/8/2008 10:33:17 PM

I heard a song today...  A song to my Master I would like to sing to him "You raise me up"  Please listen to it, and tell me if you feel it