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Well, not quite a year since I last wrote.? Hope y'all are enjoying the festive holidays.? I'm slacking off for the day and gonna go to a party tonight for some friendship and feasting.
I should put up a picture.? See if I can't get a new one soon.
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? Ponied up!? Went to a NE-DS class last night.? Met the fabulous Reina Dark and her groom, Tom.? Later got the chance to pony up with a bit and confirmed that I do indeed have some pony in me.
? Now I'm chompin' at the bit for warm weather so I can get on the hills and in better shape for draft duty.
? Also, in a very different direction, met a nice submissive I may be beating soon.
? Real life rocks!
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? Oh!? Just got my new book, How to Braid Quality Custom Tack.? I'm developing a strong interest in pony gear and I already got mad braiding skillz!
? In other news, I'm feeling like I'd like to take on a submissive; somebody close to my age and not too far away.? I should get my pictures back up here and update my profile.
? Long term goal, really.? I got the exerience as a bottom to know what makes a scary dom, but little experience on the top.? Might be months to redefine myself.
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? It can't be said enough to potential submissives: You do the best you can.? If a Domme wants you, she'll overlooks a great many faults.? If she doesn't, nothing you do can make her want you.
? Be a friend.? Being a submissive isn't your choice.
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? Back from a fabulously successful fetish flea.? Thanks to all the Coyote family for spreading the word and getting the whips out there.
? I am doubly in awe of Ms W.? I would so be the sidekick to her super hero.? She scened me at such an unexpected level that I didn't even get a clue until the next morning.
? Returning to the mundane world.? Everything ends.
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? With the chance to see Mistress Whips coming up, I am, of course, thinking about her even more than usual.? Like, first thing when I wake up, several times through the day and last thing when I go to bed.
? Because opportunities to see and play with her are rare, I can't help but to preview them in my head.? She tops me a hundred times in my mind for every time she tops me in person.
? Normally, one tends to think of tops as verbs and bottoms as nouns.? But, even though she's the one with the whip and I'm the one in chains, there're still myriad options within me.?
? I am not a passive bottom.? I make noise.? I move to the limits of my bondage.? I talk.? My mind split into pieces.? Part of me analyzes, records and catalogs.? I want to save the experience.? Keep it.? Part of me is pure animal joy, reveling in sensation.
? The greater part of me is in the scene.? It's that creature in me that craves the struggle.? My logical mind thinks that part is totally insane to look for pain, but we all follow the crazy part.
?Oh, yeah, I over-think the scene.? I will try to control it.? I am thrilled to know that I will fail.
? In the mundane world.? I finished the last whip for market.? Tomorrow is for cleaning up details.? Friday I'm on the road.? Friday night I will either be watching the new episode of Monk, or experiencing the sensation of pain, humiliation and the complete loss of self-determination.? Guess which one is my first choice?
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? Naked, hands cuffed, whip striped, inches from a smokin' hott sadist who enjoys this as much as I do.? Been there.? Lookin' forward to getting there again!
? Down to the wire.? I've set up my whip display to be sure I've got everything.
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? The countdown continues.? One week to FFF!? I've got a big bag of whips to take to market.? The big difference this year is that I didn't do a last minute marathon getting them ready.?
? Also enjoying some rather tasty anticipation and fear.? Putting myself in the hands a beautiful sadist.? It's gonna hurt.? Hard to believe my good fortune!
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? More snow!? Last week I wondered if I could make snow bricks out of the big plow pile in my driveway, but it was like gravel.? Take my machete out tonight and try with fresh sticky snow.
? It'd be cool as heck to build a big igloo in the back yard!? It would be like a teahouse made of frosting.
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? Sittin' up, waiting for Santa.? I just know that this will be the year he finally comes.? Just in case, though, we all bought gifts for each other.
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? Stayed up late last night rereading A Study in Scarlet.? One hundred twenty years old and still excellent pulp reading.? Happy Birthday Sherlock!
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? Down to three weeks before FFF!? I'll be concentrating on productivity -- no zero days until the show!
? The winter flea is my big event for the year.? I'm looking forward to meeting old friends, the local whip community and maybe getting a little S&M.? Frankly, for me, the anticipation is just as much fun at the actual participation.
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? I'm backin' off my CM presence a little.? Yeah, it'd be fun to meet new masochists I can whip, but I typically find them IRL.? My big passion is bottoming for brilliant, talented, beautiful MistressWhip.? Even though I met her at a fetish event, I kept in touch here, so this is a CM success. ?
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Depending on what kind of snow we get Sunday, I might get a little snowshoeing in this week!
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? I hate pain. Really, I'm a big fluffy wuss.
Unfortunately, inside the marshmallow bunny is a hard black glass core
that loves to be hurt. It wants the freedom that only comes when the
wussy part is chewed, whipped, stripped off.
? It's not just pain. Pain is the sacrament. Pain, bondage, humiliation; essential elements invoking that inner creature.
? Not just anybody can do it. Takes a sadist to spark the flames. The fire that burns is the fire that illuminates.
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? The Fetish Flea Festival in Providence is one month away!? This one is an entirely different one than recent years, for me.
? On the down side, I'm not going to have Miss Heather at my table.? Having her there in past years has really made it more fun that work, but she can't make it this year because of work conflicts.
? I am encourage this year, though, because I'm not rushing in the last minute to make up stock.? I've already got a decent offering on the rack and I'll continue to make more.
? I have reserved booth space, so folks will have room to try the whips out.? I'm not even having a table -- just open space with whips at one end.
? I continue to look for an assistant -- somebody to help demo and sell whips.? It's a paying gig, comes with a vendor badge, crash space and fresh fruit.
? And, this year, on the adventure side, I'll be there for MistressWhip after hours, if she wants me.? No idea what, if anything, will happen, but it's fun to imagine the possibilities.
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? I was lucky enough to web chat this evening with my Domina of Infatuation and she said I could say who she is, so I'm putting it in my profile.?
? I have the extreme good fortune that MistressWhip enjoys me.? To show my appreciation for providence, I will only bottom for her for as long as she wants me.
? She is everything I have ever fantasized of -- how many people get to experience that in life?? What kind of fool would I have to be to not focus my devotion to jump at any opportunity to present myself to her whim and whip?
? It's not wearing a collar, it's not a declaration of commitment; it's recognizing that there's something really special at hand and the anticipation of realizing potential.
? So, as much as I belong to myself, by my own intention, I belong to MistressWhip.
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? FFF is coming up in January.? One of the perks I love about vending are the wandering vendor eye-candy girls.? They really contribute to the bacchanalian atmosphere.
? I'm half considering getting a hottie demo model for my booth.? Who do I know loves whips and looks good semi-naked?? Maybe enjoys taking a few stripes for educational purposes?
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It was a good feast.? Recovering today.? Gotta detox all that turkey and pie!
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? Persimmons -- I like 'em.? They're like, a buck or two each, though, so I'm buying one and checking it every day until it's ripe, having a persimmogasm, then going out to buy another one.
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? Two hours of the most excruciating pain I've ever experienced without safe-wording.
? Got my teeth cleaned.
? I am so going to floss better.
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It's half price candy day!
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? This year I've developed a mad crush on a particular Domina.? I'll get over it, eventually, I expect.? I've decided for now, though, I have no interest in bottoming for anybody else.? Kind of spoils you when you finally meet that perfect sadist!
? It's good time to concentrate on work.
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One of my scene buddies told me I should put up a close-up showing my eyes.? So, that's in the queue, waiting for approval.
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I'm looking forward to November 1.? It's half price candy day!? And, if the gods smile on me, I'll still have the marks from a good Halloween beating.
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? I can scream as loud as your last one, but I can't claim innocence.
? Well, when the bruises have faded, it is like I'm a virgin again.
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? Ah, there are no holidays for whipmakers.
? I remain a "total do-me queen", so I'm most likely going to play with a particular kind of sadistic top.?? That works for me.
? However, beyond my specific bdsm interests, I also enjoy getting out with friends, havin' a meal and flirting a little.? If you're in my neighborhood, I'd love to hear from you.
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? Quiet Sunday afternoon and here I am browsing CM.? How sad is that?
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? You know, I think I've found a new voice in that part of me that like to get beat.? Maybe try that out, next time I get the chance.
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? I get a lot of thinkin' time at work.? Today I'm thinking about a particularly sadistic Domina.
? I'll bet some of that state of mind gets in the whips.
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? For me, my Domina is not unlike a school teacher.? I'm willing to do what I can to get good marks.
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? Annual checkup: I am clear of HIV and the heps.? My cholesterol is 201.
? I'm generally low risk, but I'm not no risk, so I get the tests.
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? I opened up all the fields on the CM search and browsed with an eye on the distance, just to see who lives close to me.
? I haven't made charts and graphs, but my first impression is that the closer you live to me, the more likely you are a lesbian.
? Just sayin'.
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? The benefit of being best friends with a whipmaker is that you get a whip on your birthday.? The drawback of being old friends with a whipmaker is that you're gonna get yet another whip for your birthday!
? One thing I love about my job is that I have a special relationship with some amazing pro-dommes.? It's not unlike a mechanic and race car drivers.?? I like to think that feedback from the professionals has helped me make better whips.
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? After a particularly good night of S&M, I wake up the next morning, look at the marks and wonder what the heck I was thinking!? It amuses me how in the shadow of spent endorphins, even my own masochism seems a little quirky.
? It's a feeling that used to be a kind of sub-drop.? However, I've seen the cycle enough times to enjoy my own dismay at my fear+pain reaction.
? Even then, the memory of how I felt feeding a true sadist puts a little spark in my eyes.? I know that by the time that mass of red and purple welts and those bite marks heal I'll be daydreaming about more masohappy.
? In the next few days, I'll outline the memory over and over, making it an indelible event in my memories.? I will savor it many times.? When the flavor fades, I'll put it away for a time knowing that it will return again, improved with age.
? I am a damned lucky man and I know it.
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? As I get to know you, I lose all fear of you.
? No, that's not quite right.? I still fear you.
? I lose all reservation from you.
? What do you want?? Don't say it.? Do it.
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Both as a top and as a bottom, I'm a big fan of the anticipation. Part of the joy of bdsm is being bound and helpless, maybe not knowing exactly what's going to happen, but pretty sure it's gonna hurt physically or mentally.
It's an idea I steal from the medieval tradition. After rendering the bottom helpless, then I unpack my bag, displaying each toy and describing how I use it.
Kind of a foreplay, really.
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? The recommended cooking pot for today's ultralight camper: the KMart grease pot.?
? It comes with a strainer top.? If you cut the lip off, you can turn it over and drop it into the bottom of the pot to make the whole unit a steamer.
? Today I made biscuits in mine using the heat from three tea candles.? I'm thinking this is not only a handy skill for the trail, but also for late night hotel snacks.
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? Man, where does the year go!? Last January, I gave myself a year to explore the bdsm community, make new friends, experience bottoming in different ways and maybe a little topping.? I'm thinking of it as Dave's Slut Year.
? Well, just a few months to go and with getting ready for winter FFF and the holidays, not that much slutting left.? I've learned things about myself.? I'm happy with every experience from the light s&m to that little bit of intense time with the Most Perfect Domina Ever (MPDE).
? I'll round out the year with a couple parties and that big weekend in Providence.? After that, no plans.? Probably not on CM as much.? Maybe go for quality rathern the quantity.? See what the Universe brings.
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? So, I thought it might be fun to make a backpack.? Ok, materials and time factored it, kind of costs me twice as much as it would be to buy the same thing.? However, I'm not counting the time, because it's learning some new skills that might be useful for other projects like cuffs and harnesses.
? Besides, it is fun.
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? Sometimes it seems like I've lost interest when I'm really just very cautious about seeming over-enthusiastic.? I know that people need their space.? Doesn't matter how enamoured I am, the worst would be to become a pest.? I tend to err on the side of silence.
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? Oh, thank goodness.? Mosquito season is finally over around here.? Sunny, bug free days -- seems like outdoor bondage time!? Who else enjoys the idea of being roped between two trees and getting some stripes?
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? Oh, so looking forward to Labor Day.? Not so much as a holiday, you see, I do have the luxury of taking any particular Monday off.? But it's the day after Labor Day, when the forest is all mine!? Plenty of good camping before the snowy months.
? I am rather pleased to discover increased flexibility this year.? Last year, stuff like touching my toes or grasping my wrists behind my back was pretty much out of the question.? I'm not quite a contortionist, but I kinda hope getting a little more bendy makes me more fun to tie up. :-)
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? It's kind of snuck up on me, because of the distractions.? Apparently, as a masochist, I am multi-orgasmic.
? Go me!
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? "Area 52: The Secret Alien Balloon Animal Research Center."
? FFF went well!? I saw new and old friends.? Spent the evening the Domina who really is all of my fantasies come true.? So, wow.
? New picture in my set.? Showing off my fancy storebought hikin' stick.
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? There's an old meme you see on LiveJournal sometimes.? "If you had carte blanc with me for an entire day, what would you do?"
? That's like a significant portion of collarme profiles.
? Really, though, if you're in the mood for a message flurry, g'head.? Nothing is out of bounds in fantasy.
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Had a veggieburger recently. ? That's what I call a meataphore.
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Yesterday I'm wearing black short and a black sports t-shirt, track shoes.? I'm thinking I look like a cross between a ninja and those guys who get to the early bird specials for dinner.
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? *sigh*?
? Yes, I am a perverted old man.? It was a predictable natural progression from having been a perverted young man.
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? How can I go outdoors and make it as geeky as possible?? Oh, I know, geocaching!? With the aid of a handheld GPS and a huge web database, finding cleverly hidden treasure boxes; trade trinkets, sign the book.
? A few of the caches are walking distance from my house.? One of them is yards from the spot where I camped overnight, recently.? I had no clue!
? Wonder if there's a way to add a bdsm element to this?
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Busy summer!? Road trip last weekend.? Still a little gimpy from bashing my leg on the trail the week before.? Hoping to catch up with orders and make some stock for summer FFF.
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Checkin' in!? Wild blueberries are nummy this year.? Spending my free time on the trail and tweeking my pack system at home.
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? Wow, been a while since I've update!? Well, ya know, it's Summer!
? I'm exploring stealth camping.? Turns out there are millions of interesting places to spend the night if you can manage to do it unobtrusively.? The hammock is handy for that, because I don't need clear ground for a tent -- just a couple of well spaced trees.
? I'll probably get to a few parties in the coming weeks, but it's not my highest priority.
? Stuff to do.
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? It's black, about three feet long and always flacid.?
? Cracks pretty loud.
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? My new Hennessy Hammock arrived!? I've been obsessed over trying it out since it arrived yesterday, but had to wait until lunch today.
? I pulled in to the local park, grabbed the two-pound stuff bag containing the hammock and walked a little ways off the trail to a couple of likely trees and roped it up.
? Now, getting into an HH is a little different than most hammocks.? It's an enclosed hammock with bug mesh over the top.? Then entrance is a Freaudian slit in the underside of the feet end.? You open it up, step in, turn around, sit and lie back.? Your body weight closes up the slit and velcro seals it up.
? Worked like a charm.? I reclined comfortably for a few minutes and decided to get back to work.? The instructions said to kick open the velcro.? I kicked.? Nothin'.? I kicked around some more.? Damn velcro held tight.? I had visions of hanging for hours, trapped in a nylon cocoon.
? However, this time I scooched down and started the velco opening with my fingers and slipped out.? Something to practice, I think.
? Can't wait to go camping.
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Who wants to go camping?? Hiking, tenting, campfire, bondage, s&m under the stars?
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? One thing I've learned from collarme ads is that there are hundreds of sexy women in Lunenburg, Ma.
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? I'll often hear a Domina say, "Can you anticipate my needs?? Can you have my cola, my coat, a shoulder rub for me before I notice that I want it?"
? Well, no.? With some years experience as a service submissive, I can say, "No, not usually."
? Why?? Well, I think it's because that while there are people I will submit to, I am not a submissive.? Unless you've made an explicit indication of what you want, anything I will do will feel like control.
? Is there a fine line between being responsive and controlling?? Yeah, but I've never really been able to find it.
? That perfect evening with every need anticipated?? Probably means I'm with a switch friend who's submitting to the pampering.
? "I've finally experience my dream of being a grandmother; revered, but subjugated..."? Dr. Zoidberg (paraphrased)
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? Things that seem fun, but may or may not actually be fun...
? I have always wanted to wake up in bondage.? However, waking up in bondage and really having to pee might be awkward.
? Outdoor bondage.? One word; mosquitoes.
? Slave auction.? Yeah, I'd go for an embarrassingly? small amount.? Of course, I could? include? a whip? in the deal and pretend most of the bid was for me.
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? It's a ghost town 'round here this weekend!? Everybody's out at the beach, I think.? I went to a bdsm party last night that turned out to be more party than bdsm.
? Ate sinful food.? Engaged in Level 9 Geek chat; faux quantum physics, enochian magick, tarot, why whips crack, why some physicists suck at cracking whips.? Monty Python quotes abound.
? I'd forgotten how much I can talk in a social situation.? You wouldn't think there'd be much left to say on the topic of "guys like women", but I managed!
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? I have to say, collarme has turned out to be a cool experience for me.? I've made new friends, hooked up with some old ones and enjoyed some adventures!
? This week I'm especially tickled about a recent contact with a Domina from my past who lives nearby.? Out here in the boonies it's rare and special to find like-minded people near by.
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Man, yesterday was fun!? I learned how to throw knives!? Now there's only a few hundred hours of practice to, like, the coolest knife play ever.
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? Switch relationships seem so complicated.? My friends and I used to have a running gag we'd enjoy on party roadtrips: You can spot the real top by who orgasms first.
? Consider the case of the masochist dominant, "I command you to bind me and place many clothes pins upon my scrotum!"
? There's just a lot to work out, ya know?
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? In modern clinical terms, the Renfield syndrome describes vampirism -- I suppose it's a little less lurid than calling it the Dracula syndrome.
? The Renfield character in Stoker's book, however, was obsessed with consuming life.? He believed that life accumulated, concentrated, up the food chain.
? I'm like the anti-Renfield.? I'm still fascinated with consuming life.? However, I see life as most pure and concentrated near the bottom of the food chain -- in plants.
? A 21st Century Dracula would find slim fare here.? Before we consume anything, we most often kill it a few times over with heat and processing.? We eat dead food and food that has been raised in the dark with dead feed.? We've barely enough life to sustain our bodies.
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? Bamboo steamer.? It's like the raw vegan microwave.? Even if you don't want your food cooked, some things taste better warm.
? Today, kind of a fancy lunch.? Made a yellow squash pasta with the spiralizer.? Topped that with a raw tomato sauce and a ground walnut+miso based meat balls.
? Covered the bowl in my steamer for a few minutes to take the chill off.
? It's one of those meals you fix up when you invite a hotty over for dinner and then find out you gotta serve vegan.
? Include a sprouted coffee bean chocolate latte and you are so getting laid.? Not bad, because vegans are hawt.?? Taste good, too.
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? I'd rather switch than fight.? I've switched to switch.? Yes, I remain enamoured by sadistic Dominas.? However, there seem to be people who I am dominant to.? What if I were in a relationship as a dom?? Well, remains to be seen.
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? Reading through the profiles, I see a lot of us submissives have noticed that winter is finally fricken fadin'!
? Yay!
? I have a $12.89 gift certificate on Amazon.? What should I buy?
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? My favorite fruit for this month: Mangoes!? They're a little like avocados -- you want to eat them when they're tender, but not squishy.? They smell really nice when ripe.? I like 'em hedgehog cut.
? For those of us who get bruised when we have fun, eating three mangoes a day will make bruises break up and clear faster.
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? Roadtrip to Kittery, Maine!? My favorite stop; Kittery Trading Post.? Living in Massachusetts, it becomes surreal to me to see the rows and rows of shotguns and rifles.
? I like firearms.? Not so much because I want to shoot anything, but because as a human art, gunsmithing has benefited from centuries of intense practice, producing some of the most perfect simple machines created by man.
? Also, I lusted just a little bit over the Daisy BB pistols and wrist rocket sling shots.? Even these are forbidden items in The Commonwealth, without a special permit.? Alas, I am also not allowed a spring loaded baton.
? I am also somewhat enamoured with camping gear; especially compasses.? Whatever science one proclaims of the forces of the universe, magnetism remains a magickal spirit to me.
? What I actually wound up purchasing, at a gourmet shop; a few oil bottles for my flavored olive oil mixes.
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Something entirely different...? Raw coffee.? Handful of organic raw coffee beans, soaked for a few hours; handful of raw cashew nuts, also soaked; four pitted California dates.? Blended with twelve ounces of spring water and filtered through a nut bag.? Served on the rocks.?
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Sometimes you have an experience that's so good, you actually avoid trying it again, because you're sure it can't possibly be as wonderful the next time and you don't want to be dissapointed.?
That's why I never went back to McCormick and Schmick for sea scallops wrapped in bacon.?
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Added to the list of things that make me happy: Asian Pears.
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So wet!? This morning the water in the basement doused the hot water heater, forcing me to don boots and set up the sump pump.? I will not live without hot, hot showers!?
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To the list of foods recently added in my rotation -- goat cheese.? Sprinkled some into the dinner salad; romaine, grilled salmon, olive oil dressing, truffle oil, wasabi peas, sea salt.? The goat cheese added a creamy blend, marrying the flavors and textures.?
Today's trivial act: picked up a cork for my truffle oil bottle.? The cheap foil cap wasn't at all secure enough for seven-bucks-an-ounce oil.
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I am the avocado master!?
I originally added avocados to my diet as kind of an obligation.? However, I have to admit, I enjoyed this recent avocado+romaine sandwich wrap as much as any M!ir@cle Wh!p laden repast.?
Maybe my tastes change.? Maybe I'm just getting better in the preparation.? This time I smooshed it up with balsamic vinegar, celtic sea salt and garlic cold pressed EVOO, with a bit of chopped walnut.? Schmeared on a big multigrained wrap and rolled it all up with romaine leaves.?
I'm betting there's a thousand different ways of doing an avocado and we all got our favorites!?
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I just put an Avon doll, Christina, on ebay.
Yes, Christina is on the auction block.
I feel like a slave trader.
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My first cybersex was so long ago, I could have had a cyberkid out of cybercollege by now.? I had my Radioshack CoCoII plugged into a handset cradle, dialed out through a payphone in the dorm common room.? I think Compuserve had an incredible four-gigabytes of user disk space -- though, it might have been four-megabytes.?
I felt like I got pretty good at cybering; though I sometimes felt like I was carrying the whole plotline.? Everything gets old.? I lost interest in ch@ts3cks when IRC was still the cutting edge.? Looking back, I'm guessing most of those women were really men.? There was only about twelve women on the net, back then.?
I don't have the attention span for online chat, anymore.? About the tenth minute of watching people say hello to each other and I'm thinking there must be something else I should be doing.? Maybe sleeping.?
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I have officially clicked my odometer up a year. Celebrated my birthday, yesterday! It was nice. We had cake.
What a difference experience makes! Ten years ago, I bounced on the outer edges of the scene with the occasional munch or club date.
Since then, I have learned so much, six years collared by Miss Heather -- so many thanks to her. I became a professional whipmaker, enjoying generous support from a worldwide bdsm community.
Now, here I am, makin' new friends, trying new things, enjoying the adventure.
Every year, life just gets better!
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Today is the traditional day in Ancient Rome when masters and slaves trade places.?
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Let me just take a moment to say; Stone Dykes are cool as hell. My heros in life. It really is whats inside that count.
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In my fantasy for the movie, Eyes Wide Shut, when the naked prostitute offers to take the punishment for the Tom Cruise character, I'd have said "Hells no!" I would have dropped trowser and did my own time as the club bitch.
That would've been an entirely different movie.
I think it's all part of my own whore fantasy. Having a Domina who loans my ass out to other Dommes.
"This is the best cheesecake! Why don't you take my slave for the evening and have some fun..."
Hey, what else am I going think about on my morning walks?
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Wow, big yin/yang day today.? At the same time my eBay account got hacked, I received a very nice collarme note.?
The eBay thing is fixed, so I'm counting the day as a plus!
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To that first submissive who introduced the concept of "forced orgasm" to a Dom/me, let me just say, "brilliant!"? I think the first male submissive enduring such a heinous torture should get a Real Men of Genius Budweiser song.?
Now, Domina, don't get me wrong; if that's your fantasy, then I'm there for ya.? I just don't see it as the scariest aspect of S&m.
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Very rarely does anybody master any complex skill without first really sucking at it.?
Fumble through today; it's a little easier tomorrow.?
If it was easy, everybody'd be doing it.
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On my list of cool things I want to try: Pony Play. Outside, wearing nothing but harness and bit, saddle; pretty Domina on my back. Maybe hobbled at the hitching post with other ponies or bed down in the stables.?
It's an idea that seemed very unlikely last year. However, better nutrition, easing some exercise into my habits. This is my year for getting into the best shape I can. I think the time will come when I make a very pretty pony boy.
Believe I'll have some oats for breakfast.
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Man, just blew an entire day watching season two, Venture Bros.
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I've had the growing obsession with getting a motor scooter.? Something retro, like a Vespa, but not so expensive.? Maybe a Stella.? I can rationalize a 50cc model for trips to the market, post office.? I can see myself on a 150cc version, though, puttering up and down the back roads.?
Yes, that's me.? Born to be wild.
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This morning I'm thinkin', "You know, it'd be fun to have a submissive partner."? We could work out together and practice submissive stuff.? I'd wear a hat and play the piano while she sang Captain and Tennille songs.?
It'd be doubly good if she played bass.?
Really, wouldn't a submissive matched set be cool as heck??
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So, who else likes to dance during the CSI evidence processing montage?
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Lunch -- chicken, apple, onion, red pepper, walnut, little olive oil.? Supposed to put it in the little blender to chop it all together.? Just as fast to give it a fine chop on the board and mix in the oil.? Scooped it into stone ground whole wheat pita.?
I like the kitchen gadgets, but sometimes you get more control with the old fashion methods.
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I don't think there's anything wrong with having a romantic relationship with a woman who's 20 years younger than I am.? In fact, I'm gonna give it a shot when I reach my 70's.
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I put my astrological birth chart in my photos.? Another kind of profile, really.
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I'm down as a submissive and I'm a masochist.?
I am not a sadist.?
However, I am a whip enthusiast.? I love how whips handle, the way they flow and crack.? I enjoy using my whips on a masochist.? It's not sexual, it's recreational.?
If you see me at a party, standing around eating cheese, don't hesitate to ask, "Hey, come whip my butt!"
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I thought my laptop was toast! Literally -- it was overheating and shutting down at unpredictable times. Turns out it just needed a few spritzes with canned air to get the dust out of the fan. Along with reinstalling a lean OS, it's got that new car smell.
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Happy Stab Your Boss in the Back Day!
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Having realized that extra virgin olive oil has become a staple in my life, I have finally sprung for a gallon of cold pressed.
This just in; avocado dressing on whole wheat pasta rocks!
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Most excellent last evening, attending the New England Dungeon Society (NE-DS) Kinky College.? Bondage, whips, impact, knives; oh my!? Nothin' much better than the company of whip people.
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When I claim I'm a submissive, that's not absolute.? I'm submissive to some people and dominant to others.? However, I have much more fun with sadistic, dominant women.
What does it mean for me to submit to you?? Basically, it means you can tell me to do stuff and I'll try my best to do it.? Some things are easy, like cooking or installing linux.? Some things, like being sensitive and reacting to unspoken needs, are much harder.
Let's face it; I'm a guy and guys don't get hints.? Some sort of Y chromosome thing, I think.? I'm much better with focused tasks.
The one thing I can guarantee is that if we meet for coffee, I'll pick up the tab.
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Yes, I am a geek.
I love anthem trance.
If I can find an RPG or a LARP that's less than an hour away, I'll be out with a box of dice and a pointy hat.
I make how-to videos for youtube -- I just got the hang of syncing up the audio on my pocket recorder and the video from the digital camera. So far I've covered making your own crackers, brewing kombucha tea and drawing a blade on an honing iron.
I like Adult Swim, but it's hard for me to stay up that late on weekdays.
I own a toy microscope.
My favorite tool is my hot glue gun.
I taught myself how to play chords on my keyboard. It's a departure from my usual woodwind preference, because you can't sing with an instrument in your mouth.
Yes, my chosen instrument goes in my mouth. Don't think I haven't noticed the phallic implications.
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Add to the things that make me happy: New hacksaw blade.
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Man, what a week this has been!? Starting Saturday, had, like, the best day ever!? Lunch with my favorite friends, iMax movie, and one of the most intense naked-bondage-torture nights ever.
Oh, then the adventure begins -- after a brief nap Sunday, got a call from a buddy with a totally crashed network and I wind up putting in another 16h putting out that fire.
Eating wierd, no exercise; busy but not productive for the rest of the week.?
Well, I'm back baby!? Got outside this morning with the crows and squirrels and makin' a pretty green bullwhip for a popular fetish model, today.
I got a gallon of komucha tea fermenting in the back room.? I've discovered that soaking rolled oats in apple cider overnight is an interesting base for nummy breakfasts -- oh, there'll be cinnamons and raisins and other goodness involved.
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Yes, it's true, I'm a "do-me" sub.? I admit it without shame.? I've been a service sub.? I've served tea, cooked meals, carried shopping bags.? I will do it again.? But, not in 2007.? This year I am all about physical experience.
Ok, it's not 100% about what I want.? Well into the 90-percents, though.?
Hello, Sadist, I'm a masochist.? Make a wish and I will do my best to make it come true.? If a naked man chained to a whipping post makes you wet, I can make it happen.? If you have a box in the back of your closet with leather cuffs and a tens unit, I've got wrists and ankles for those cuffs.
That's what I want.? Maybe you're reading this and it's what you want, too.? Click the magic button and make it happen.
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Even though I'm a masochist submissive, sometimes I imagine how cool it would be to have a submissive.
First off, you can make them do things.
"Woman, bake me a cake!"
Second, you can do stuff to them.? I'm pretty accurate with a snake whip -- almost seems like a wasted talent to not stripe up a pair of bum cheeks now and then.
I know rope, I know knots; 'cause, yes, it's my fetish.
Tie up a submissive, whip her for a while, eat cake!
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I don't do mindless bliss -- what they call subspace. I don't think it's because I am incapable, but the conditions that would lead to it take most of the planets in line. They not only have to line up, but they have to line up enough times for me to be comfortable with the lined up planets and finally let that mindless bliss happen. A mild euphoria is usually my hard limit. Yeah, it's just like female orgasm. But, not.Let's look at my buttons: fear, adrenaline, testosterone, pain. When this mix reaches critical mass, this does not slide quietly into happy floaty land. Before happy floaty land, there's a good chance there's a pit stop at fight or flight city. Yeah, ok, lunch at the angry irrational cafe.
I've heard some attractive sadists call it the beast. That's ok for them. The beast is fine with wacking away at somebody else with a stick. That's a pleasing fruity beast. You make a beast stand quietly, whip it up for a while with actual whips and down a shot of agressive hormones and there we pass the point of civil self-control.
I wouldn't do it either -- at least not unless I had at least fifty-pounds on it.
I would certainly feel bad if, in the middle of a really good scene, I grabbed a domina by the throat, pushed her down and slapped her. I'm sure, in most cases, that would be a very awkward moment.
So, real bondage, not pretend bondage. If you really want to see mindless bliss, be careful what you wish for.
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I'm not a huge fan of this snow!
I've been cooking a bit more -- not for myself.? I'm thinking that deglazing works well as foreplay.? I'm not Rachel Ray, but I do a pretty good spread.
I am also getting out for more regular exercise; three times a week, 45-minutes walking.? I've always been a pretty good hiker and hasn't taken long to get back into stride.? Going to have to break out the boots tomorrow -- not just 'cause they're butch!
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Excellent T-day feast!? I'm back in my workshop making evil toys.
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Trader Joe's sells raw almonds for half the price of any of the other local places.
Just sayin'.
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Halloween is through; it's like a new year.? Going to be working obsessively for a couple of months, getting ready for FFF in January.
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Roadtrip!? Went to Smith's Farmstead for some smoked gouda.? Their milk goes from the cow to cheesemaking vat; raw milk cheese!
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Bananas are fattening.? Dammit!? I love bananas.
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Had an excellent pina colada this evening.? Cracked open a fresh young coconut, blended the contents with the meat of a ripe pineapple.? Didn't add rum, because sometime you're just in the mood for a virgin.
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Puttering around with alternative energy some more.? My third iteration of rocket stove burns nice!? Feed sticks in at the bottom, clean hot air comes out of the top.?
At this point, I'm debating if I want to put an air heat exchanger on the top, or a sleeve to boil water for cooking.? It's compact enough to make a pretty good camp stove.? Needs more work to heat a house.
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Road trip!? Went down to Whole Foods on Rt. 9.? Got a bag of cacao nibs for that bit of organic raw chocolate flavor. ?? Spinach is back!? Also went across the street to Trader Joes for some snacks.
There's two kinds of stores I love.? There's Whole Foods with all that fresh produce, and yes, those stores with the racks of black leather, buckles and chains.? To quote The Matrix entirely out of context, "It's the smell!"
I'm also quite fond of office supplies.? Go figure.
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Experiments for this weekend; miso, dulse, nutritional yeast and the nature of chocolate.? Wishing there was a local source for cacao nibs.? Maybe check Whole Foods.
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Winter 1980, before sunrise in Salt Lake City, I'm soaking in a hot bath, the fluffy snow on the ground and overcast sky catch the city lights and diffuse it into a soft pink ambient glow. I can hear church bells ringing in the distance. It's one of those days you always remember. Maybe three or four of those in my whole life.
Cocao Reserve Dark Chocolate by Hershey -- damn good. Had me some of that this evening. Topped off a chicken stir fry.
I love my cast iron wok and I use it so seldom since I began eating raw. Seems like ritual, preparing the food and adding each item in proper order. My cooking tools are like the relics of a sacrament for me -- far more valuable in use than a knife or pan might be in itself.
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It's been a while since I've had sardines -- I've never been a big fan. However, yesterday I dumped a tin in my lunch salad. I liked it! Looks like a good way to get that fish oil all those websites say is good for the heart.
Doing some actual experiments with alternative energy this week. I mixed up a little refractory cement with perlite and built a small rocket stove. Rocket stoves are a well tested technology for high efficiency wood burning.
I'm thinking it might be worthwhile to enclose my front porch and put a wood heater in there. On days when I fire it up, might make enough extra heat to open the front windows and let it blow into the house with a window fan.
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Today was the first day that I was recognized on the street from a whip customer.? It was funny, because she was, like, "I know your name.? We bought something from you..."? But with a kind of a shared secret, because we were in vanilla land.
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I'm getting a little better at shopping.? I did splurge on a radiccio for my salad mix today.
I had a fun pagan weekend, celebrating Mabon.? Got rained on a little, but the company more than made up for it.
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I enjoy a good Blues session.? I play a wx-5 windsyth.? It looks like an electric clarinet and makes a satisfying variety of noises.? It's been a while since I've been out playing.? I'm starting to get the urge to look up some Blues jams.
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In my brief visits to France, I was impressed by the rituals that maintain a little higher quality of life.? One of the ones I've adopted is picking up a fresh bread every day.? It's just sad, having to eat day old bread.
Until today, I've been a big fan of those prepackaged salad greens.? I put one in the shopping cart this morning.? Then I walked through the produce isle and noticed that? romaine lettuce was fifty cents a bunch and fancy red leaf was a buck.? I picked up some and put the $3 bag back on the rack.? Since I rewash and package the salad greens when I get home, it wasn't much more effort to tear up some fresh leaves.
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Excellent sunny Sunday, yesterday.? Went to Bolton, swung by Nashoba Valley and picked up a bottle of sweet plum wine, some apples from Bolton Orchard.? This morning started a garlic dipping sauce; bit of black pepper, balsamic vinegar and a secret incredient.? I'm thinkin' tonight we'll have the wine and a sturdy bread with the dipping sauce.? Rest of today is all about making whips!
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Bit of a treat today.? Made some prosciutto con melone.? It marries sweet and salty, crisp and chewy.? Added a little black pepper for a spicy kick.? Prosciutto crudo is an uncooked ham.? Cured with salt, rather than nitrates, it takes nearly two years to prepare.
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Since about the end of July, I've been exploring raw foods and veganism.? It's entirely for health reasons.? I feel better eating primarily fruits, veggies, nuts and grains.? It takes a lot of practice -- not like I want to live on salads for every meal.? There's recipes to try out, even if I don't cook 'em.? This week I'm exploring a variety of sprouts.? I've got chick peas, lentils, sunflower, wheat on the counter, in a variety of stages of sprouting.? Every day I start something new.? In theory, after the first week, I'll have something ready every day.
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