Courageouscrusoe

Sometimes a single event opens your eyes. Although I knew most of life that I am submissive, the event which put it into perspective I only had to let happen! It's life changing energy grew around me and I let it go because it felt good, it felt right for me. I thought I knew about my submissive tilt but If not for a birthday surprise, a coincedence that would change my life, I would still be watching BDSM videos and thinking; 'gee certain movies make me excited...........,  never sharing my tilt with anyone, never taking a step from the comfort of fantasy.......

Her name was Mistress Michelle. After the surprise formalities (and I was sure it was not Reality TV or something), we had a few moments talk about "what this visit was about" She first made clear "we are not having sex" then asked if I ever had such an experience before, was I aware what goes on, etc. I said no to but mentioned my submissive tilt (it just came out, was easy to say to her). When we started she gestured towards the floor and told me to get on my knees. She put her boot on my shoulder and pulled my face into her outstretched navel, rubbing it on my face. She said "you like this don't you?" No time to answer, she grabbed my hair and slapped my face while she abused me verbally. She told me I was only good for her to play with like a toy and that she would never have sex with me. She pushed my head to the floor and rested her boot on it while telling me she would make me her dog. I was very excited and it was because she had control. It started to feel right and I got more heated up. She ordered me up on my knees again and held my head between her knees while she put a collar on my neck then told me to lay on my back. She rested her knee on my stomach while she put a mini collar around my privates and connected it to the collar on my neck with a strap and adjusted it so it was too tight if I straightened my neck. Then she put a leash on the collar and walked me in circles sometimes suddenly stopping and changing direction. I could not look up because of the strap connecting my privates. She seemed to enjoy my dilemma and berated me when I wasn't ready to change direction on her whim. I began to wonder how long she would do this....... almost as if she sensed my thought she pulled hard on the leash and ordered me to stop and roll over. While on my back she straddled me and squat over my stomach which made the strap tighter on my privates. She rested her hands on my nipples as if she were going to twist or pinch them...., but didn't. She seemed pleased by the look on my face and was looking straight into my eyes. She had a bottle of some kind of oil and rubbed it on her gloves. She ordered me to open my mouth wide and put her hands in one at a time telling me to lick and suck them. I felt the oil melt in my mouth, it was warm and fragrannt; it filled my mouth and sinus with a floral burst that overwhelmed my senses. She ordered me on my knees while pulling me up by the leash and she seemed impatient as she told me to stick out my tongue and close my eyes, as if I had done something wrong. I felt a few drops hit my tongue. It felt warm and fragrant again. She told me to close my mouth and she went behind me and rested her boot on my neck while holding the leash tight and slowly pushed my head down to the floor. It was very awkward to hold this position because the strap connecting my two collars was very tight. Then she ordered me to put my hands out in front of me on the floor and not to move. She walked away dropping the leash on my back. I could hear her footsteps but didn't see her. I was thinking she was angry about something but I couldn't tell what was going on. She walked with very deliberate steps and I could tell she was coming towards me and I felt her near. She picked up the leash but ordered me to stay down with my hands in front of me. She suddenly stepped on my hands, it was painful and unexpected. She told me I was lucky she found another use for me and I would be allowed to clean her boots with my tongue. She signaled which one to start with by pressing down harder with it. As I licked the fragrance in my mouth went all over her boots and it was intense. I almost forgot what an awkward position I was in but then she started to pull up on the leash but still stepping hard on my hands. It was all I could do to stretch out my arms and let my head rise with the leash but keep my body taught enough so the strap wouldn't pull off my privates. As she looked into my eyes she asked if I was hard. I could tell by the way she asked that yes wasn't a comfortable answer but she looked before I could say anything. Of course I was erect and excited and she told me I didn't have permission to be hard. She slapped my face with the leash and told me I was useless for anything except to lick her boots clean. I was really excited. My expression must have given me away. She released my hands and ordered me to roll over on the floor again. She rested her boot on my penis and asked "do you think you have control of yourself or do I?", as if she defied me to loose control. It didn't take another second for me to explode..... She was saying something to me but I was in another zone...... I din't even realize she was whipping me with the leash...... It was a real moment of truth for me. Things slowed a bit afterward and she was more gentle but still ordered me to lick her boots one at a time while in was still on my back, keeping my mouth tight into her boot with the leash. She told me I would probably never see her again but that she owned me. I relived this experience in my mind almost every day. I told my friend the experience was awesome but never gave details.