A constant battle in my head
mother vs sub
one side logical
one side playful
one side full of hope
one side full of lust
in a world where you cant be both
how do you distinguish yourself
manipulated by society in one hand
desiring manipulation by a dom in the other
im told ill be truly free when i let go
i feel the opposite with society
therefore the thoughts colide
a constant battle in my head
a constant war with no end
im told it gets easy
as does life i guess
but cant it be that way now
for this eager little girl
why must i learn patience sir
why must i stay quiet
I want to have it all right now
I want to wait until i stop questioning
the battle goes on
confusion is my only friend
for it keeps the mind entertained
confusion is my main enemy
for it never has an end
when will things become clear sir
when will i know for sure
when will i stop questioning
all these things my dear friend
i know that you will guide me
show me the ways ive needed all my life
teach me who to be w/o letting go of who i was
as i stand as a mother
ive have grown so much by his hand
but now as i move on
i need to grow as me for you
but the mind molded by him holds strong
the mind broken by him holds stronger
fear and lies control me today
i cant wait to lose that part of me
to embrace the new life
to give myself completely
by your side i know the battle will calm
i know the bombs will barely be heard
if they are heard at all
