CalidusNox

I keep seeing lots of profiles (and personal ads) from so called Dominants that claim they are "looking for a sub/slave". Now, I dunno cause this might be me, but isn't that a big difference? I mean, personally, I will not identify as a slave. Ever. It's not who/what I am and I never will be. My personality and a list of other traits keep me from being a slave for someone. I cannot give up that much control to someone and not have a say in it.

So, why would these people say it like that? If you want a TPE situation and want a slave, state that you want a slave. You're not wanting a submissive, because most of the time they probably won't fill what you want the way you want it. Why? **Because they're not a slave.** To me, stating that either or will work is the same as putting out an ad saying you want a "dog/cat". They're not even close to the same thing.

Everyone is different, yes. However it's rare that I ever see a person who identifies as a slave call themselves a submissive. Just as it's rare in the vice versa of the situation. What confuses me further about these people is that they typically bitch, whine, moan, complain, and generally have tantrums and make an ass of themself when people don't fit their "criteria" of what a "sub/slave" should be.

Well no shit Sherlock, you're asking for two different things. Please though, don't try to educate these people on the differences or claim that they may need to do more research or that they should define what they want better/more realistically. (I'm sorry, but I don't know any woman who can keep a dildo stuffed in every hole every hour of the day, cumming, and still be able to fill out a litany of chores and clean the house to your specifications without getting sick or dehydrated.)

There have been times I have caught myself trying to have a discussion with one of these people about the fact this makes no sense to me. The usual response I get is something along the lines of "well you're not a true submissive if you don't understand." ...I cannot count the number of times I have heard this and how bored I am with it. I do not, can not, will not, follow this unexplained, unwritten definition of Twuism that you fools who say this crap seem to follow. The Lifestyle is about broad choices, desires, fetishes, fascinations, and everything in between. To claim there is one way to do it is incredibly ignorant and close minded and I have to wonder how you managed to get into it in the first place. (If it was 50 Shades of Stupid, please, don't talk to me. I don't want to get infected with the Dumb.)

If someone can explain this nonsense to me, that'd be great, but I don't expect any miracles anytime soon.

I am not claiming that these facts that I hold to myself are applicable to others. There's times this may be true and there's times it's not, but I know if I don't say this, someone will make it an issue and I don't want to hear about it.

Being a submissive is not always a simple deion. It is not a defined role that has strict measurements and standards to be followed. Just as a brat isn't, a slave isn't, or any other "title". The fact is, a submissive can be any type of person they choose, while remaining submissive. This follows through with me and the reason I genuinely don't believe that anyone will ever be able to "tame" me.

I am Primal. I am cat as much as I am a person. I love being pet, snuggled, being on laps, the smell of catnip, meowing, hissing, clawing, and fighting when angry. There are times that I don't want to listen to an order and so I shirk it slightly. I make a game out of finding the loopholes in what I'm told to do, just because I can. My Alpha will occasionally force me to obey, to get what he wants, and it is his show of Dominance to my inner cat. Does this make me a bad submissive? Not in my opinion and it won't according to my Dom.

I am a Babygirl. I love being able to be childlike, feign innocence, cuddle up on Daddy's lap, color, snuggle my stuffed animals, and generally be as cute as possible. My pout can be cuddly and needy and he will take care of me. I love having my hair braided and being able to ask for a bath and get bubbles and treated like a princess.

I am a Brat. I'm snarky, sarcastic, occasionally badly behaved, troublesome, and generally making things difficult just for the hell of it. There's times that I do things complicated just to see what he'll say, or I tease and taunt him just because I feel like it. Some people think this makes me a bad submissive, or just generally a bad person, but I want a Dom that likes this trait.

I am a Sadomasochist. While some people seem to believe that a Sadist must be a Top/Dom/etc, this is false. It is also false that a Dominant cannot be a masochist. I love to claw, bite, grab, and any other small form of pain I can give. I'd do other things as well, but I need a Dom that can handle it. In exchange, I love knife play, have an interest in fire play, my hair being grabbed, being bitten, and a slew of other things.

So, yes, I'm a submissive. However, it's hard for some people to realize that I am more than that title. That there's multiple other titles that I could be under because they are fitting, but the drop down menu only gives one option. People need to understand that just because they have one title, this doesn't mean that is all they are. Just as there are multiple facets to a personality, there are to their roles and choices. Maybe the people who keep bitching that a submissive isn't "acting submissive" need to see that they might be more than that. (Or that the person who is complaining is just a moron.)

Just so everyone knows, I do not currently live in the area I've listed. I'll be moving back to that area in a few months or so, however, so I thought it best to update now. I'd rather not encourage communications with people local to WI just in time for me to move.

READ MY PROFILE BEFORE MESSAGING. I am incredibly sick of people 10-20 years over my age limit trying to message me and act like I'm the bad guy because they got their hopes up after seeing my pictures and didn't read anything first. Seriously, if you're over my age limit, I'll let you know within the first few messages. I will say so politely, but if you ignore that, that's not my fault. Telling me "Oh, you need an experienced Daddy/Sadist/Master/Dominant" is not going to get you anywhere. At any age over my limit, you really shoudl be literate enough to know how to read my profile. I don't use big words and I don't make it complicated to understand.

It'll take two minutes if you're a speed reader. If you're not, maybe around ten. If you're dyslexic (which I had a friend who has been) maybe more. So please, just take that time to read my profile, and neither of us would have to deal with your disappointment and irritation. Thanks.

I'm sorry, but if you're 18, you can't even spell that you're a Dominant (yes, the noun, as in what you are, is dominant, while what you do, the verb, is dominate), and you send a message without looking at my profile saying "i wanna fuk dat ass so hrd", I will troll the hell out of you.

This is my only warning.

So, I'm changing my "seeking" section because I'm half-looking for more conversations with Dominants. It's hard to discuss some of the things I'm interested in if the only people who message me are the scammers and the occasional people that have profiles I look at. That being said, I'm not jumping into bed with anyone anytime soon. Don't assume that because I'm uncollared that I'm available to fuck. I'm not. But I don't mind chatting or getting to know people.

Things I'm not and have no desire to be:

• A slave- Yes, I'm submissive. I enjoy submitting. I do not like giving up all of my free will. There is a difference and if you don't know it, don't contact me.
• A Bimbo- I have zero interest in looking like an overinflated barbie doll. Dollification actually freaks me out to an extent. If that's your kink, good for you, but I don't want any part of it.
• A Switch- I am a submissive. That's it. There's not a dominant bone in my body. I prefer being beneath someone, rather than over them.
• Sadist- Yes, I am a sadomasochist. However, what I desire and think of to do to people are not typically things that can be done safely. I'm not going to suddenly turn into a serial killer overnight, but the things I think of that would be fun are not usually things people live through.

There might be things I haven't thought of yet, but for now, these four are important. I'm willing to discuss a lot of things, but I have no desire to be any of these things for a Dom. That whole YKINMK (Your Kink Is Not My Kink) thing. -Edited to add Sadist.

Perfection is not possible. For as soon as perfection is acknowledged, it becomes imperfect. This is a detail many people don't seem to understand, or choose to ignore, in every day life. (I know, I'm going all philosophical on CM, what am I thinking?) Anyway, the reason this is coming up is because I don't want or like to be called "perfect". I am not. I know I'm not, and no one should think I am. I have faults, we all do, and to claim perfection (either in someone else or within yourself) is foolish. And I don't toy with fools, as I tend to get bored rather quickly. A little ginger kitten all bored is never a good thing.

So, I tend not to view profiles outside of three circumstances.

1) The name and/or picture is really interesting. Sometimes curiosity just gets the better of me.

2) It's someone I've been talking to and I am attempting to remember a random detail.

3) You've viewed mine.

So, if you randomly message me and comment on the fact I viewed you, this doesn't mean I'll know who you are. It, more often than not, merely means I'll have to look again to answer the usual question of "What do you think of my profile?" (or some variation thereof).

Look, if you interested me, I'd message you. I'm that kinda girl. So if I don't, feel free to message me, but that doesn't mean I'll feel any obligation or desire to keep the conversation going if you start to bore me.

What, pray tell, is the point of an empty "About Me" section?

   Forgive my ignorance if you will at why so many people do this, but I am genuinely curious. If I wanted to get to know someone, I'd enjoy a topic to start with. A blank profile gives me nothing to work with, except skimming your list of kinks and your basic information.

    Even then, a large portion of the time, there are no kinks listed as well. No hobbies, no interests, and again, I am left with nothing to go off of. If you're going to view my profile and not message, I view in turn. Sometimes it is because I would like to know who you are as well, and the possible reasons for you not to say something. Yet if there is nothing there, what am I to assume? That you're creeping? That you're curious in turn?

    Please, please, people, fill out something. Anything. Allow me to message you instead of always wondering if that interesting name and attractive picture (or amusing one) has a personality behind it. I don't message empty profiles, because I feel that if I am to send the first message, that is my first impression to make upon you. I feel "Hi, how are you?" while polite, is dull. It's not original or interesting and will give you nothing to work with in conversation. This is why I have my "About Me" filled out, to give you that ability to discuss a point with me.

   If you don't get any messages, that may be why. Just a thought.

I work third shift, for those of you who I talk to, so I have odd hours. If I read and don't reply, I probably checked my messages right before work. I get back to everyone in some fashion (since I'm not that popular and can) so don't send a follow up message asking why I didn't reply. I will later.

Outside of that, I'm off to bed. Toodlepip~

So, finally got my new laptop. For those of you I talk to on a regular basis, sorry I might not be on for a bit.

Since this is becoming a trend, I feel like commenting on it now: My name is not "girl". I understand that some women are all right being called this when a conversation is started, but I am not one of them. Call me Nox. Call me Calidus. Call me dear or sweetie or hunnie or something like that for all I care. But to me, calling me "girl" is like saying I'm nothing more than a set of tits, ass, and pussy, and I'm a helluva lot more than that. I'd appreciate it if some of you so called "Masters" and "Dominants" actually acted like mature adults instead of wannabes and children.