CadaverousLust


cadaver024 Male Switch, 20, thomasville, North Carolina	cadavera Female Submissive, 40, Hell	cadaver Male Submissive, 19

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	About CadaverousLust ATTENTION At this point in time I am NOT looking for anything more than platonic friendship. While I am not currently in a relationship I am wholly, devoted, mind, body, and soul, to one person and find myself completely unable and unwilling to pursue another individual. 25, BBW, Female. Think of me as the good, little, obedient, highly devoted, and naughty housewife. I will cook and clean like a good girl should... but I will do it in a clinging, ass-hugging skirt, thigh-high stockings, and 5 inch heels with a drink in hand (whiskey, please!) and a cigarette between my lips. I am stubborn and strong-willed but I live to serve and submit to The One. Only they can bend me to their will and only they get to see me completely and entirely as I am. Raw, uncensored, no walls, no shields, no defenses... even if it kills me. "I do not want to be the leader. I refuse to be the leader. I want to live darkly and richly in my femaleness. I want a man lying over me, always over me. His will, his pleasure, his desire, his life, his work, his sexuality the touchstone, the command, my pivot. I don't mind working, holding my ground intellectually, artistically; but as a woman, oh, God, as a woman I want to be dominated. I don't mind being told to stand on my own feet, not to cling all that I am capable of doing but I am going to be pursued, fucked, possessed by the will of a male at his time, his bidding." ~ Anais Nin

She has a serious problem... she always thinks before speaking.

For most people this wouldn't be a bad thing... but for her it's terrible as she often thinks with her heart instead of her head.

Seriously, wtf. Do I have a neon sign above my head that says "HEY! I'M A DESPERATE FAT CHICK! I'LL FUCK ANYONE!"

Just because I am a fat chick doesn't mean I am so lonely and desperate that I will fuck anybody who offers. Good God. I do have standards. My friends know I am very selective in who I fuck. Even if I am really wasted I am still not going to sleep with just anybody.

The fact that I have only fucked a handful of different people in my entire life (and maybe three of them more than once) doesn't mean I can't get any... it doesn't mean I haven't had offers. I turn most people down... I'm sure over 60% of those individuals who have wanted to fuck me just figured they could because I'm "fat and ugly and obviously can't get any on my own so I might as well say yes and take what I can get."

That is bullshit and a half.

I'm a fat chick so I must give good head right? Right? Is it because I love shoving things into my mouth so I will just gobble it all up? Or is it because I will try harder and put in more effort because praise for giving good head will make up for my fat and ugliness? Or maybe it's a combination of both?

WRONG.

I think I probably give lousy head because I hate doing it and won't do it to most people I've slept with. If your dick is one of the two or three dicks I have ever sucked then consider yourself special. If I have sucked your cock more than once consider yourself very special.

"Submissive" is NOT synonymous with "easy." I know how to say "no" and I say it often. "No" means "no" and "stop" means "stop" (unless it's part of a scene) and if you don't listen to a "no" or a "stop" prepare to get punched in the face and force-fed your own testicles.

If I blindly obey ones every whim, want and desire it means there is an invisible bond, a chain, some crazy metaphorical choke-hold, an incredible power they have over me. A power that brings out the real me; no masks, no charades, no lies, no facade... just me. The real me.

Everyone thinks they've seen the real me. Very, very, very, very few have.

Everyone thinks they've seen me happy. Everyone thinks they've seen me cry. Every one thinks they've seen me angry, or hurt, or horny, or frazzled, or scared.

They haven't.

Hell, I barely even have... I didn't even think I was capable of feeling such raw emotion until the last year and a half or so. And let me say, pleasure or pain? I'd rather feel raw, intense pain than nothing at all and at times I crave it... at least then I know I am alive.

I keep going back and finding pleasure in things that hurt me and I keep letting them hurt me.

Does this make me a masochist in more than just a physical level?

I suppose so... but what doesn't kill me will just make me stronger, right?

I'm kinda manic right now... no real reason. Gonna go out for a few drinks and hopefully get some... It's been a few weeks. :

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CadaverousLust

About CadaverousLust

ATTENTION

At this point in time I am NOT looking for anything more than platonic friendship. While I am not currently in a relationship I am wholly, devoted, mind, body, and soul, to one person and find myself completely unable and unwilling to pursue another individual.

She has a serious problem... she always thinks before speaking.

For most people this wouldn't be a bad thing... but for her it's terrible as she often thinks with her heart instead of her head.