I've posted my answers to a questionnaire below. That should give You a better impression of who I am. Written originally for Femdommes it equally applies to Transdommes and feminine Gay Maledoms:
As a sub-male here I have been asked to give my personal interpretation of submissiveness. I was asked to explain it in terms of some common concepts/presumptions about being a submissive male. These are my personal views and most certainly not an expression of ”right and wrong”. I’m sure many of you have quite different approached to this subject.
I was given some key words and asked to comment on them. Here’s what I wrote:
About pain
Well, I’m not a masochist in the pure sense of the word. I don’t regard my Domina as ”an arm swinging a bull-whip”. It’s more psychological than physical. What ever pleasure I get from enduring pain at the hands of my Domina is much more the realization that She enjoys inflicting it. I submit to Her needs in spite of the fact that it can be quite un-pleasant for me. And to me that’s the essence of submission – submitting to Her needs and wishes. Any thing else is merely ”topping from the bottom” and I have no interest in that. I am, how ever, slowly moving toward a more masochistic style, though. I guess we "move" in our ways...
Wimp
I’m not a ”wimpy type” sub. To me that’s kinda silly and I’ve never met a Domina who truly wanted a wimp. It may be more of a role-play fascination for some. It’s my firm belief that a succesful Dom/sub relationship is actually based on mutual respect and I much more view it as a ”my Queen – Her knight” thing. I serve Her and my aim is to give Her the greatest pleasures possible – and should that one day include that I have to perform as a wimp and crawl around on all four squeeking ”oink, oink” then I guess I’d do it… for Her. But I’ve yet to meet a serious Domina who enjoys that kind of activity – I think it’s mostly a sub-male fantasy.
Humiliation
Again this is by my experience more a fantasy thing. Equality and respect. Imagine that your Domina slaps you and yells at you in the local supermarket. Not only would you be embarrassed but She would certainly as well. Maybe it would be humiliating but it would as well be very undignified – and Dominance/submission is a very dignified philosophy that thrives on ”good taste and good style”. Not on idiotic behaviour. And again, I’ve never met a Domina who did not have great empathy and great class. It goes with the territory. But maybe humiliation can work under certain circumstances to enhance the D/s relationship.
Are all Women superiour
I’d say so yes – I believe this would be a better place with the Female mindset as the leading ”philosophy”.
Leather, latex, pvc
Absolutely – I have a total fetish for these garments as I believe they are a visual manifestation of Dominans/submission. And not only for ”playing” – to me a Domina is boldly expressing Her status by incorporating an elegant fetish-style into Her everyday-clothing.
Bondage
The more the better ;-) No, seriously, bondage in its physical form can be useful to enhance the bonding (no pun intended) between the Domina and Her sub – and it certainly is! But in the end bondage symbolizes ”force” and as I see it, true submission is from within. If my Domina has to tie me to make me obey Her then I’m not truly submitting to Her. And to me submission is to willingly and happily putting Her needs and wishes above my own. The bondage, if you will, is more of a psychological nature. But again, used for ”play” or intelligently, yes, then it definitely has its place.
Cuckolding
Uuuuuu… a REAL taboo… well, many Dominas will not consider this in a million years – in that regard They may hold the traditional opinion that cuckolding is the same a cheating. And it may, indeed, be for some. How ever, to me cuckolding is probably THE most powerful instrument of creating submission. At least that’s where I found the deepest degree of submission to Her – it even enhanced my sense of love and respect – knowing that She does THAT, and solely for Her own pleasure, puts Her in a class of Her own J But this is definately an aquired taste. As a sub I don't necessarily expect to be my Domina's lover. And certainly not her only lover.
Toilet slavery
My personal experience in this regard is limited, however, I do find it interesting and I’m certainly curious. I do not necessarily view it as a force of humiliation (though, I’m aware that it can be) but more as a very personal and intimate interaction between Domina and sub. In a sense what is by most people regarded as something repulsive becomes beautiful as a special bonding between two people.
Public display
Hmmm… it so easily becomes a ”parody” that makes both the Domina and Her sub look like circus clowns. But, an elegant fetish dressing style is cool. It sends a signal in a classy way. Exactly as when I carry the bags and walk slightly behind Her in public. It’s sending a subtle signal. For me as a sub it’s about being a GENTLEMAN more than being a pathetic idiot. Many of the good old classic virtues such as holding the door for Her, pulling out the chair for Her, lightening Her cigarette etc. still work J
The point is to emphasize Her style and elegance – and to make Her feel like the Queen She rightfully is. It’s all about respect, compassion and classy submission.
Conclusion
Well, this is not just a part-time fantasy life style where the sub submits to a whip-lashing Goddess in a tight-fitting catsuit and perfect make-up. Nobody can hold up that pretence for very long. Nope, it is truly worshipping Her from deep inside ALSO when she’s down with the flue, or wearing jogging-pants, or getting drunk and saying silly things, or making gas, or being unreasonable, or what ever. In the end it is about making Her wish your command – 24/7. As simple as that.
And you know what? You can do that with ANY woman in your life! She doesn’t have to be a certified Domina for a sub guy to do that. Respecting your Woman as your one and only Queen and to feel a warm warm pleasure when seeing Her happy when you pamper Her for HER sake… THAT, Ladies and gentlemen, is what submission is all about - at least by my book!
Peace!
