brutal0romance

Steve Aoki - "Turbulence"

Nero - "Promises"

Fun. - "Some Nights"

Jenifer Lopez - "Dance Again"

Nicki Minaj - "Starships"

Noisfu X - "Hit Me Hard (Hit Me Fast)"

Sleighbells - "Infinity Guitars"
Vampire Weekend - "Giving Up The Gun"
Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros - "Home"

Schoolyard Heroes - "Screaming Theatre In A Crowded Fire"

Watch me go all dancey pants!

Blonde hair bouncing

Blue eyes closed

Tiny white fist

With day-glo nail polish

P u m p

oh yeah

...Could you please fucking respect me? For two fucking seconds?? REALLY!

I am getting fed up with getting messages full of sexually explicit details of just what you want to do to me. Keep it to yourself! I dont want to hear it.

It leaves me BAFFLED that men out there think that just because they identify as Dominant thay gives them carte blanche to treat me without any respect at all. I may be a submissive, but I'm also a lady and expect to be treated as such. At least initially.

Thinking that you can come at me and be blatantly rude, and that I'm going to respond in a favourable fashion is just silly.

Don't speak down to me, don't send me X-rated bullshit, no I don't want to see your penis, and no I don't want to be your 'bitch'.
You do not get to treat me as if I'm yours until I commit to you, and don't treat me like I'm your whore cos I never will be if you come out of the gate swinging.

If that's how you operate - don't my time or yours.

And if this makes me a bitch, so be it. Cos I'm fucking done!

To all those sending me well wishes about my sprained ankle:

While I appreciate all the sentiment and concern, the injury was incurred over a year ago.

It’s doing much better now. It was the second time that I sprained my left ankle. Suffice it to say, it’s significantly weaker than my right ankle. It tends to get grumpy when I wander around a lot and it swells from time to time.

But in all, it could be much worse. At least I’m still mobile!

So no worries, my darlings! I’m all good!

Mr. Grey: Where are you? Why are you stalking my dreams?

Where does a dame like me go to find the sadistic man who wants to hurt me because he thinks I'm amazing?

All I'm finding here are women haters and unattractive socially awkward men I'd avoid like the black plague in public settings.

*Sigh*

:(

This little girl sprained the eff out of her ankle a couple nights ago.

I was text messaging, and evidently I cant do two things at once.

I didn't realize there was a step, and I missed it. My ankle rolled under me and I just collapsed.

I sort of wailed in pain and my sister (who was parked on the street) heard me and came to help me.

She has a bad back, and is just coming off an episode of it being out.

I was affraid I was going to hurt her, but I was clinging to her like a damned spider monkey.

The entire time, cursing my face off.

We went to the ER in Madison. You kinda have to when your ankle makes an awful popping/grinding sound.

Apprently, when you sprain your ankle there is a possibility of a certain sort of fracture. I dont really remember what the doctor said, but it's important to have an x-ray done.

It doesn't really matter, cos I didn't have it.

They poked and prodded me, made me wait around a while, gave me an air cast and a viccoden and sent me on my way.

Getting around is sort of sucky, and my ankle is super swollen.

It might be the pain killers talking - but it feels like it's not as sore as it has been.

I'm icing it and keeping it elevated. Taking an NSAID and taking it easy.

I don't really tolerate injury very well.

I think when it comes to non-BDSM types of pain, my tolerance is super low.

I just sort of crumple and pout.

I need a Daddy to take care of me while I convalesce.

To make sure I take my medicine on time, give me snuggles and change the DVD for me. :P

Sometimes, a girl just wants a guy wearing nazi boots to step on her face.
*Wistful sigh*
Now THAT is romance!

Did the dishes tonight with improvised nipple clamps on.

I loathe doing the dishes and figured it might make the chore more interesting...

It did. I'd accidently knock and jostle them and zing myself with a little bit of pain. Became more aware of my posture.

All was mostly well, until I took them off. OWWIE!

The blood coming back into my nipples was like a big ole meanie poo pinched my nip for all he was worth!

I will more than likely do it again. >:)

...And this is coming from a girl who never really got into nipple torture before. Oh, the trouble I get into when left to my own devices!!!

I keep on getting a little dazed by the bitches rubbing their titties in the right hand side bar.

It's like a time portal... to pleasure town!

...If pleasure town were metriculated by sluts.

SUBMISSIVE MEN: You have nothing to offer me. I dont want what you have. I pity you. I find you disgusting. I'm never going to respond to your messages, so stop sending them!

They are promtly deleted.

If you had taken the time to read my profile, you would have realized this and not wasted my time or your own.

...Do these guys just troll the lists of females and not care if they identify as a submissive or a Dominant?

They have to have noticed the label, cos they ask me if I've ever Topped.

What's wrong with being a true blue submissive? Am I the only one!?

I would never dream of asking a Dom if he'd ever gone the other way... Maybe when He was just starting out, and to get a feel for what it's like to be on the reccieving end.

But I'd probably loose interest if he'd done it reccently.

Blah.

I'm so sick of messages from people who are wasting my time!

I dont like submissive men! I dont know how to make that any more clear!

I'm never going to be the housewife with the kids.
I'm far too deviant for that.

I'm the one who is going to be just inside the door on her knees waiting for you with a beer when you get home from work. Maybe not every day, but definately when you need it most.

I'll give you back massages and cook your faveorite dinner and I will try my damndest not to burn it.

I will be a good girl for you, if you will be a good Daddy for me.

Take care of me, I will do the same.

It's the least I can do, if you are going to such great lengths to do things for me.

All these years later, and still not over the disbandment of one of my three faveorite bands. :(

Sorrow, thy name is Siren's Sister, for not being more like the band that spawned you: the late and great Vendetta Red!

Tonight I did fire cupping for the first time.

For those of you who do not know, fire cupping started out as a form of eastern medicine... along the lines of accupuncture.

People who believe in this sort of thing think that toxins are sucked out of the body due the large ammounts of suction created by heating the inside a class cup and applying it to the skin.

I rather enjoyed it. It could have been more intense, but on the whole it was enjoyable.

It was like a deep tissue massage, minus the pain.

I think next time I want to do a play piercing and THEN do the cups over it. It produces a lot of blood (which I love) and I think would provide the intensity I felt was lacking in this session.

:D

What can I say? I'm a pain slut!

I keep having this intense fantasy about a man in a wife beater, green military pants and suspenders being mean to me.

He's faceless, but he comes to me slowly from across an empty room.

Once he is a few feet in front of me, he starts to pull down his suspenders until they are hanging from his waist, and then he starts to unzip  his pants...

All the while I'm just kneeling in front of him, half scared and entirely turned on...

*Drooling*

And then there is the fantasy of a State Trooper catching me doing something bad, and bending me over the back bumper of his cruiser and taking his night stick to my ass.

I'm a sick, depraved little girl who loves uniforms of authority. :P

Why does it always have to get sexual so quickly?

There is a valid point to be made on you need to know that you are sexually compatable with your partner before you invest a lot of emotion and such in the relationship... but it would be nice if more people saw it my way: that you cant have a good sexual relationship without a good emotional foundation first!

I'm getting sort of frustrated cos I feel like I'm being rushed into thing that I'm not ready for just yet.

It feels like there is an unspoken deadline that I'm failing to meet.

I dont like it...

Why cant we just kick it old school? What's so wrong with taking time to do shit right?

So... for the past four years Ive been attending a monthly BDSM event called Sabbat de Sade in Madison.

It was the first public BDSM thing that I went to, when I was still a tender young flower on the cusp of her kink coming into full bloom.

Tomorrow night is the four year anniversary party and I couldn't be more thrilled!

Not only is it going to be an awesome event, but a good friend of mine (who just so happens to be a hair maven) is going to pur my freshly dyed raven locks into victory rolls!

I'm going to walk around that club looking like a ghost of another time!

Lets run a checklist:

Collar? Check.

Polk-a-dot dress? Check.

Hair? Check.

Red lipstick, faux eyelashes, smokey black eyeshadow? Check x3

Looking like you stepped out of a Vargas painting? PRICELESS!!!

Between silences
I am breaking apart
Full up of so many questions and verbs
But only gasping and mumbling my displeasure

You are suprised
And sorry
That I'm angry

I say
I wish
I could be happy for you

But in between
I'm stammering out loud in my head
It should've been me
It should've been me
It should've been me all along

Because for me
It was always you.


This is a few months old. It seems to sum up my displeasure with men very well.
It really should have been me...

What the FUCK is up with all of these misogynistic Doms on this site?

All of these bullshit about women being inferior to men and our only role is to provide pleasure and contentment to men?

That we are property? FUCK THAT!

We spew life from our vaginas... we sustain that life from our breast.

We are mysical, beautiful creatures that should be respected, loved and cherished!

I am so sick of being made to feel like a second class citizen because I have a vagina and I am kinky.

I'm all for bowing down and worshiping a man... if I so choose! Not just because he is a man.

And it is MY choice that leads to the play and sex that we MIGHT have!

Not just because I dont have a penis. Not because I am obligated to respect him because he does have a penis.

It's such bullshit and I am sick of it!

In my clicking through various profiles on this site, I've reccently noticed a common theme in some of the profiles.

Young, dominant males who feel the need to prove themselves because of their age.

Are they getting flack from older kinksters? Are they really that insecure about their age that they have to start shooting off at the mouth? Are they compensating for their lack of real world experience by making a bunch of untrue claims about their level of prowess just to gain some "clout"?

It's getting annoying.

I like a quiet guy who is unassuming until his actions come out heralding his utter awesomeness. But sadly, that doesn't exactly translate on the internet.

> : (

A real Dom doesn't need to tell you how skilled he is.

He doesn't need to convince you he is talented, despite his lack of age.

He exudes all of this in the way he carries himself, and the way he expresses his inner workings.

THOSE are the types that little Subbies like me cream their panties for.

So if you are trying too hard, dont expect me to try at all.

I like to have stickers on my lap top. And since I'm a a little girl at heart, my computer has 4 Snow White ones attatched in various places. Three on the outside and one on the inside on the right, below the keyboard.

My problem is, they all keep coming off!!!

And its making me angry!

I suppose there are more serious, pressing issues that I could concern myself with.

For instance, the Govenor of WI is fucking bat shit crazy and we need to get him the fug out of office... or I could be pissed off that the majority of the men I attempt to hit on on the interwebz ignore me, while the Vanilla Wafers want to engage me in sexual discourse while they try to tell me that they are deviants because they like oral sex...

But at this point, I think I am going to stick to anger over my stickers not sticking to my computer.

Valentine's Day pisses me off.

I think its just exploits the notion that a person can only be happy if they are coupled.

Even if you are "lucky" enough to find yourself in a couple, chances are you are just going to be disappointed if your Sig. Other doesn't come through with something epic. That's way too much pressure. No body can preform with pressure like that.

The one and only time I've been coupled during Valentine's day, I bought my man a bottle of MY faveorite cologne and a cute card. He thanked me for it, said he didnt expect to reccieve anything and promptly "forgot" his man scent in the back seat of my friend's car.

Not only that, he never did end up getting me anything! I dont give gifts just to reccieve them, but common courtesy would dictate that you'd get someone a little token of apprciation if they did something that nice for you. Especially if you want to be fucking that person in the future.

Suffice it to say, that relationship didn't last. He was vanilla anyway, so it wasn't much of a loss.

But seriously. Fuck Valentine's Day in it's stupid silly ass.

I want no part of your Cupid encrusted bullshit.

I dont want your conversation hearts of your cheap, scentless roses.

Fuck you, and goodnight!

Girl meets boy on internet.

They message back and forth for a while... getting to know one anothers interests and eccentricities.

When they find that they are stumbling over themselves to find out the next random shared interest, they take it to instant messenger.

They chat for a few hours before taking it to the cellular phone...

If the phone calls are good, they meet up and go on a first date.

The first dates lead to more.. including a first kiss and all the rest.

Before they know it, the perfect relationship unfolds like a delicate flower.

Right? WRONG!

Usually, I get to the messaging back and forth... maybe the instant messenger before I realize that the dude cant keep up with me, is more into me than I am him, or that he just isn't what I'm looking for.

OR the worst: I talk to him a little bit, get a little interested and then he gets all pervy and sexual WAY too soon. Thus ruining any semblence of attraction I may have felt at all.

I am not adverse to sexuality. In fact, I love being a sexual person. I think its a good thing to know what you like and its okay to express that to the people you are interested in. Its also important to find out if you are going to be compatable in a sexual capacity with the person you are getting to know.

Having said that, I dont think that people should just toss their sexuality around like confetti at a party. I dont think that it's a good idea to just give it away to anyone who feigns interest just for the sake of getting laid.

Emotions should always come into play before your panties are on the dude's floor.

And not just emotions like "I wonder if he thinks I'm cute?"

I kick shit old school. I'm not going to give it up just cos you tell me I'm a smart, cute girl.

Invest in a future, prove to me you are going to call me the day after and that I actually mean something to you... and only THEN will I consider actually putting your penis anywhere near my person!

Still looking.

I dont think it's ever going to be found.

Maybe I *am* too picky.


Someday my prince will come...

"I want you all over me
like L.A.M.B.
So get here
A.S.A.P.
It's gonna be a party..." - Gwen

You ever get the feeling that you should be devoured?

New Years Eve was great, and spent in great company.

I was lucky enough to have a very intense scene with a very nice boy. He pushed me to tears, and I couldn't have been a more happy camper.
(I hope we can do it again soon, Sir!)


I don't know what the new year holds for me, but I'm very excited to see how it all unfolds.

And I'm wishing the same for all of you as well!

So Sabbat de Sade at The Inferno was this past Sunday.
The theme was Devious Dolls.
It was more than fun to be dressed up with little pink ribbons and looking like a toy.

I had to oppertunity to play with two new people. They know who they are - and I am expressing my thanks once again.
My ass is a little bruised, and I'm pleased as punch.


Now, I'm just looking forward to the New Years Eve party at a friends house, and the next Sabbat that will have a military theme.
I always love a good excuse to lick someone's boots!

Hello world of BDSM freaks and kinksters.

I got a puppy.
She's an english bulldog and her name is Lucy Lugosi.
(Does my love of "Dracula" show like panty lines? It should.)
She's sweet and I love her.

And best of all, my involvment in the lifestyle has given me a lot of insight into being able to train her to be a good girl.
It's weird how stuff like that works.