Haven't been on in a while because this summer didn't work out like i wanted it to and once i got back to school i decided to focus on it instead of coming on here.  It's hard to deny what i need though. i've been lucky enough to find some of it but not to the degree of use and control that i really feel like i need.

Barely started back to school and i'm already obsessed with what i'm going to do this summer.  i know i can go home and spend the summer relaxing or i could take summer school, but since i've stuck to my resolution to not do anything D/s related during school i'm hoping to spend the summer making up for it.  i'm already talking to a couple of people but i'm still open to other options.  Just to try and limit the amount of email i get, i'm not going outside the US and i'm not going to give up on school.  Beyond that my goal is to experience real slavery as completely as possible for the time i'm available.

Even though i'll probably always wonder if i should have taken the other option, spring break was the right decision.  i had a great time with my friends, hanging out on the beach and partying for 5 days.  Now the hard part is going to be getting back to school and focusing on it for the next 3 months.

Since everyone keeps asking i guess i should let everyone know that i decided to go on spring break with my friends instead of spending time serving as a slave.  i thought about it a lot and i think that a week wouldn't be long enough for me to really serve, especially with the time it would take to travel somewhere and the time i'd probably need to recover afterwards.  Plus, since it's my first chance to go on spring break i think i should really take advantage of it to spend time having fun with my friends when we don't have to worry about classes and everything else that goes with college and can go out just to have a good time.

Spring Break is coming up.  Have to decide whether i'm going to go somewhere with my friends or serve as a slave.  Both opportunities are available, a variety of places for slavery so its a really hard decision.  i'm afraid if i chose that though, a week won't be enough for me.

Back at school.  i did get the chance to serve for one night before i left home, so the flight back was a little hard sitting on a sore ass, but i wouldn't have missed it for anything. Even though it was only a few hours of being tied and used, it still was wonderful and served to remind me of everything i find so attractive about the life of a slave.  Unfortunately, now i have to get back to concentrating on classes and the rest of school related things for the next few months.

Had a good trip but still haven't had the chance to serve like i'd hoped.  Headed back to school on Sunday, so it doesn't seem likely i'll get to do anything before classes start again. 

for anyone who's interested, i've gotten to spend a lot of time with my family and relax after the quarter ended and i came home for Christmas break.  i haven't gotten to serve anyone unfortunately and now i'm going to go out of town for a few days which will make it even more unlikely.  i hope to get some time between when i get back and when i have to go back to school but i'm not at all sure about that yet.

Up way too early on a Saturday, heading to the airport to fly home for winter break.  Finals are all over and i'm pretty sure everything went good.  Looking forward to a few weeks of goofing off and relaxing before school starts up again.

Done with my first final, 3 more to go.  Everything is going good but i'm ready to be done with the quarter now. Heading home and getting to relax some on Friday.  Merry Christmas.

People told me they were interested in my school experiences.  So far it's been going ok, i've done better at focusing on school although the thoughts of other things continue to distract me and occupy my mind.  i'm headed home to spend Thanksgiving with my family and catch up with my friends.  Maybe i'll even get a chance to serve some, but i'm not counting on that.

School has been hard.  Not in the classes and homework sense, but in the focusing on it instead of the other things i want to do sense.  i've found myself logging on here a lot more lately, just trying to keep some exposure to the lifestyle while still trying to be a normal college student.  i know no one really cares about this part of my life, but it helps to write it down.

i leave for school on Thursday.  i did get the chance to serve a last couple of times and it was wonderful but now i'm committed to college and doing well there will be my primary focus.  i'm also looking forward to the social side of college, which is the primary reason i don't have any interest in all the offers of mixing slavery with school, but i do appreciate the people who made the suggestion hoping to offer me an alternative.

i haven't posted anything here recently because there hasn't been much going on in my life with regard to D/s or the lifestyle in general.  Since choosing to go to college, i've chosen a school and made all the arrangements for stuff like a dorm and classes.  Hopefully, i'm going to get at least one more chance to spend time as a slave before i leave for school.  Right now i'm trying to make the arrangements to do that soon.

Sorry i haven't posted anything in a long time, but there hasn't been much exciting going on to post about.  i doubt anyone here would really be interested in boring stuff about school and visiting family.

At this point, i'm really leaning towards college for a variety of reasons.  The advice i've gotten here has been split about half and half towards what i should do but after visiting a couple of schools and meeting people there I think it is the right choice for me at this point in my life.

i guess i haven't been clear enough here yet. i haven't made a decision between school and slavery and while i realize i could do both, i don't think that trying to do so would be right for me. So, at this point, that's my focus: deciding which path will be right for me.

If i decide on college, i'll probably still be into kinky play, but i won't be serving anyone as a slave.  If i decide on slavery, i won't have any plans to go to college in the near future and would assume that if i ever did it would be at my Owner's order, not my own choice.

i found out what happened at the party.  Like a lot of people guessed, there was someone there who knew me and they weren't comfortable having me there.  Since they were an invited guest and i was just serving, i got sent home.

 It was a weird night tonight, i was supposed to serve at a party.   i got there at 7 and helped finish cleaning and setting everything up, then the guests started arriving and i was assigned to carry around a tray of food for them.  After a half hour or so one of the Masters that was in charge came and told me i had to leave, He had me get dressed and called a cab to take me home.  i don't know if i did something wrong or what happened, He said i didn't but He wouldn't tell me why i had to go so now i'm worried and upset.

i finally got to serve overnight.  i was used and beaten, then locked in a dog cage for the night.  i didn't think it would be as intense as it was, but realizing i didn't have any choice or control was even more exciting than i thought it would be.  In the morning, i was woken up by being dragged out of the cage, beaten and used again, fed out of dog bowls and then sent home.  It was the longest i've served and i loved every minute of it.

i'm exhausted, spent all day doing chores and being used.  Longest i've ever served at one time, mostly because doing chores in heels and chains takes a lot longer than they would otherwise.  Plus all the interruptions to serve in other ways.  It was overcast and rainy so i didn't have to do most of the stuff outside, but i still had to take care of the pool and move a pile of bricks from one side of the yard to the other side. 

i loved it all and was really disappointed when it was time to come home, but i had to so that i can get some rest and help get ready for a big family party tomorrow.

spent last night serving and today recovering.  i really don't know how i would make it through full time slavery right now.  i know it wouldn't always be as intense if i were a 24/7 slave, but when a few hours wipes me out for an entire day i don't see how i'd live up to anyone's expectations.

To answer a big portion of the emails i've gotten, i know it's possible to do both college and being a slave and i know there are lots of colleges around the country.  i just don't think that if i split time between being a college student and being a slave i would get the full experience of either one.

i know a lot of people do it successfully and very happily and maybe at some point i will too but right now i think it will be better if i concentrate on one or the other and don't try to do both.