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Female Submissive, Las Vegas, Nevada
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Female Submissive, 28, Glenville, West Virginia
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Female Submissive, 48, Vancouver
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About blushingflower
I do not accept "circle" requests from people I don't know. And if you're wondering why I haven't replied to your e-mail, there's a good chance it reads like a form letter. Or you're too far away, or your e-mail/profile is full of grammatical errors or devoid of content (or both!).
(I have my doubts about the number of people that actually read profiles before sending emails, but I suppose I should bother with one anyway)
I am a service-oriented, masochistic, smart-mouthed, submissive equal-opportunity attention whore. At least, that's what it says on my business cards.
Things I do not expect or want to change at any point in the foreseeable future:
I have a boyfriend, about whom I am crazy.
I am poly.
I am active in the local public scene. Active as in "I'm on the board of Black Rose" active. If you're not currently part of the public scene, and you're not willing to become part of it, then don't bother contacting me. We don't need to play in public, but my community is important to me, and I'm not willing to give it up. If you're interested but don't know where to start, consider coming to a Gateway meeting (google "Black Rose" for more information). And no, I don't want to be your date to BR, the Crucible, Bound, Dark Odyssey, etc.
Still with me?
I am strong, smart, funny, confident and perfectly capable of taking care of myself 90% of the time. I am also shy, and occasionally insecure, terrified of failure and rejection and flawed just like everybody else. I am capable of intense and deep submission that would surprise some of my closest friends, because I don't fall to my knees for just anybody. Somewhere out there, though, is the one at whose feet I belong.
Sometimes I'm a bitch. Sometimes, what seems like bitchiness or unfriendliness is actually just shyness. Being hit on or asked to play by people who met me five minutes ago confuses the fuck out of me, and I'm uncomfortable with social situations where I can't figure out the rules or dynamics (which is why I'm a great public speaker, because I know the rules of that particular game).
If I have a fetish in the clinical sense, it's power exchange. Of course, that's also the most emotionally charged, and the one I do least casually.
My limits vary. The diamond-hard ones are getting arrested and non-consensually involving others. Pretty much everything else is negotiable in the right context.
What turns me on? Intelligence, humor, kindness, dominance, generosity of spirit, and good hands. Good social skills. A brain that works like mine.
Turn-offs include stupidity, arrogance, bad grammar, immaturity, social/political conservatism and libertarianism. Don't email me to argue with me about my politics, that's not what I'm here for and you're not going to change my mind.
Send me an email that's got more to it than "hi" or "you're pretty." It's nice that you think I'm pretty, and sweet that you wanted to share that. But surely you can manage more in conversation? You can spend as much time as you like composing an email, you can even take the time to spell-check and proof-read it. Prove to me you can hold your own with me in conversation, because while my tones are indeed dulcet, you'll get sick of them pretty fast if you can't keep up. |
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I have a lot of weird and very specific pet peeves and turn-offs.
One of my biggest turn-offs, of course, is incompetence. And stupidity.
Frequently, I read errors in grammar, syntax, and spelling as signs of stupidity or incompetence.
I also hate when someone IMs me and then gets impatient with me when I don't respond as quickly as they think I ought to. Especially if the question they've asked requires some thought, or the statement they've made doesn't really need a response. When I'm online, I'm usually not in the middle of anything really important, but I tend to multi-task, and I don't necessarily sign off when I do start doing something that requires my attention. I'm not sitting there with bated breath waiting for a potential top to send me a message. I'm single, not pathetic. So I don't necessarily drop everything to IM with someone, or if I do, it takes a few minutes. Also, I choose my words carefully, and sometimes that takes some thought, to make sure that I make my point clearly and well, especially since the person at the other end can't see my face or hear my voice.
IMs aren't emails, and don't require you to sign them, and I don't necessarily expect the same care in composition in an IM as in an email, due to the "instant" nature of an "instant message", but I do have certain expectations. I hate the W/we double-speak. I use capital letters for proper nouns and certain pronouns when appropriate. Until we're in a relationship where certain speech/writing restrictions have been negotiated, I will continue to do so. And I will never agree to a rule that requires me to abuse the English language. Also, perhaps I'm biased as a touch-typist who types 70 wpm, but I have a passionate hatred for "chat-speak." I've been known to abbreviate. I'll write "ppl" for "people", but I only use "2" to stand in for "two", never "too" or "to", and I
quickly lose patience for "u" and "r" for "you" and "are". Do the two extra letters really take that long to type? Unless you're limited by characters, write the entire word. We're not conducting our courtship on Twitter, after all.
I also have a weird thing about names. In my local community, I do go by my real, legal first name, the one my mother gave me. And *lots* of people know me by that name. I have a nametag and everything. But I tend to be resistent to having the first question be "what's your name?" I don't frequently use people's names in conversation, except to get their attention, and I get very turned off by frequent use of my name in conversation. It tends to come across as patronizing. This is perhaps because I've spent so long in professions where my customers know my name and use it to try to establish a rapport with me, and the false familiarity is more likely to make me not want to help them than the other way around. Also, when I'm chatting with someone I only know from the Internet, my name for them in my head is probably whatever screen name they use, not their real name. So it baffles me that people want to know mine. Especially before any real meaningful communication has occured. I don't want to know someone's name until I've decided I want to talk to them again. In real life, I frequently don't remember people's names until I've met them more than once. I'll remember their faces and what we talked about, but not their names. Because I was told their name before I had anything meaningful to attach it to, or any reason to need to remember it.
It is possible to establish a rapport via IM. And while I'm not interested in long-distance relationships, IM is one of my favorite ways to communicate with loved ones, be they friends, family, or significant others, so when someone's bad at IM, it makes me wonder if we'd be able to communicate. |
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If I reject your "friend" request, don't take it personally.? It's nota bout you. It's about the system.? And not really wanting to have a huge "network" of people I don't know claiming to be my friend.?
If we have a pre-existing relationship, sure.? But just because you think I'm pretty?? No.? I appreciate the sentiment, but that's just not how I roll.? Add me to your favorites if you feel compelled, I can't stop you, but I don't go in for claiming even internet friendship with people I know nothing about.
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Dear Gentlemen:
"Dominate" is a verb. "Dominant" is an adjective/noun.
If you wish to dominate me, please demonstrate sufficient command of the English language that I can take you seriously as a dominant.
Run-on sentances, poor punctuation, improper capitalization (and I'm not talking about the capitalizing your own pronouns silliness), and other signs of bad writing are a turn-off. Shallow though it may be, I have rejected potential suitors because of their poor writing. If you can't command the language, how can you command me?
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I'm a submissive. I always have been. I've explored in fantasy conversations the prospect of switching, but only while still under the control/direction of a Master.
I am very obedient. It can be very difficult for me to disobey a direct order, even when it's one I don't actually want to follow. My desire to please my master wars with my unhappiness with his orders. My submission usually wins out. I take great pride in pleasing my master, nothing brings a smile to my face faster than hearing him tell me that he is proud of me or that I am a good girl. I do have limits though (who doesn't, in truth?). Some of them I'm willing to explore at the hands of a master, some of them will probably never change.
My ideal dominant is someone who will use me roughly, exploring the fine line between pleasure and pain, making me feel owned completely and totally, and then remind me that I am a precious to him and that my submission pleases him. Aftercare (even if it's just holding me for a little while afterwards, a kiss on the forehead, a "good girl") is as important as the rest of play, because it is in those moments that I can be reminded that while my master may hurt me, he will never harm me, and that he always has my best interests and well-being at heart. Knowing this makes submission easier.
I seek a dominant who respects me as a person, as a woman, and as a submissive. Who is equally happy flogging me as he is going to the movies with me. Someone with whom I can have a relationship that I can actually tell my friends and family about (omitting all the kinky details, of course), and who (gasp!) I might actually be able to introduce my parents to. This means that he should be closer to my age than to my father's. As much as I appreciate offers to train me, and as much as I know I have to learn from an experienced, older man, I see very little long-term potential in a relationship with a man who has adult memories of things that happened before I was born. I have no problem with an age difference, but twice my age seems quite the gap.
I value three things above all others in a partner- intelligence, kindness, and a sense of humor. I am a smart woman, and I can't be in a relationship with someone I can't say is as intelligent as I am. On the Internet, intelligence is demonstrated through use of language (which is fine by me as I love words and language). This means that, bitchy as it may sound, I will judge you by your emails. How can I trust you to master me if you can't master the language?
Someone once asked me if I thought it was possible to be both dominant and kind. The answer is an uncategorical "yes." In fact, I would never even consider submitting to someone who I didn't think was kind. The flogger may feel cruel, but I trust that the man wielding it is at heart a kind person, even if the sight of whip marks along my white flesh makes him hard (and really, who can blame him for that?)
Please ask if there's anything else you want to know. (It's easier for me to tell you about myself if you give me actual questions to answer, rather than a generic "tell me more about yourself") |
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Since I edited my profile, I removed this story. But it is a great story that tells the reader a thing or two about me.
One of my favorite D/s moments doesn't involve spanking or facials or anything. I was playing with my first Dom. I'd gone over dressed in a skirt, blouse, stockings, garter belt and heels. I was down to the stockings, garters and heels, with the addition of leather cuffs on my wrists and ankles. And He and I were having a lovely chat about Griswald v. Connecticut and the constitutional right to privacy and other legal concepts. And I'm not even a law student.
But I loved that on the one hand I was in a completely submissive position, but yet having a perfectly normal, intellectual conversation. |
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