- The Largest BDSM Community on the Planet

The Largest BDSM Community on the Planet

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Hetero Female Submissive, 48,  Aurora, Colorado
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bellalicious - submissive

bellalicious - photo 1
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bellalicious - photo 4

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JoyandPain HotHouseFlower1Killerjoe69MASTERSean35BlueEyedMinstrel

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 Submissive Female



 5' 5"

 135 lbs






Actively Seeking:

Dominant Male

Friends Only

 Lives For:

 Art Galleries





 Mental Bondage













 Horse Racing


 Antique Shows

 Fine Dining

 Flea Markets

 Musical Theater

 Renaissance Faires



 Body Worship


 Breast Play

 Canes and Crops


 Foot Worship

 Hair Pulling



 Masks (Wearing)

 Massage (Getting)

 Massage (Giving)


 Sensory Deprivation



 Wax play

 Comedy Shows

 True Crime

 TV Sports


 Art Collecting





 Gorean Lifestyle

 Goth Lifestyle

 Old Guard


 Eighties Music


 Heavy Metal Music

 Hip Hop Music


 Nineties Music


 Pop Music



 Rock Music

 Seventies Music

 Show Tunes

 Feng Shui


 Ice Hockey





 Anal Play


 Eye Contact Restrictions


 Pony/Puppy Roleplay

 Role Playing

 New Age Music

 New Wave

 Punk Rock Music





 Bar Hopping

 Domestic Servants


 Housework Service

 Public Play

 Speech Restrictions



 Curious About:




 Corner Time

 Local BDSM Community




 Outdoor Bondage



 Theatrical Scenes



 Victorian Household






 Masks (On Partner)

 Rubber Fetish





 Hard Limits:





 Electrical Play


 Fire Play

 Gas Masks

 Knife Play

 Medical Play

 Needle Play

 Plastic Wrap



 Vacuum Stimulation



 Sky Diving


If you are NOT local, NOT an established friend? and are NOT willing to provide a photo with your e-mail, do not expect a response.???? Also, if it is your first time to contact me, be realistic.? YOU ARE NOT MY MASTER - please do not speak to me as if you are.


". . .You were gone . . . you were gone from me
When I remember someone . . . I remember their dreams.
In those dreams . . . that no one knows of
My destiny says that I'm destined to run . . ."

Stevie Nicks

"Taming of the Shrew"
William Shakespeare penned this tale of two sisters.? The sweet submissive Bianca and her elder sister, the wild and untamed Katherine, also known as the "shrew".?

"Sometime it Rages . . . rock a little"


Like?Bianca, I was once a sweet, submissive woman.
But time and disappointment in past relationships
has turned my heart cold.
I have lost my faith in men.

"Kiss Me Kate"
Cole Porter songs highlight this parody of the Shakespeare classic.? "I HATE MEN" laments headstrong?Kate, whose father fears she will live and die a spinster.

"Even when it's calm . . . I still rock a little"


Well, maybe that's a bit strong.?I'm just weary of the liars, the cheaters, the players, the married men who want a sub on the side, The "momma boys" and the bud smoking layabouts, the drunks and the "professional students".

"My love is a man whose not been tamed
Oh, my love lives in a world of false pleasure and pain.

We come from different worlds, we are the same."

Stevie Nicks


36 - 48?YEARS OLD

I'm not perfect, nor do?I expect you to be.? What I do expect is that you take the time for me to build my trust in you.???

be honest!

Lies lead to heartbreak.??
My heart is already broken.?
I don't want to hear what you THINK I want to hear.? I want to hear the truth.??

be a man of your word!

Don't make promises that you cannot keep.??I?will always be anticipating special times with you.??If you cannot confirm tentative plans with me, you will?NOT be desrving?of my RESPECT.

???be attentive!

?Let me?know that I am important to you.? Give me your affection and I will worship you in ways you've never dreamed possible.


Let me know who is the Master.? I?need to be disciplined.??I am a shrew, but I want to be?your sweet submissive pet.? Show me the way.

be ready!

I am not looking for a casual relationship.?? I am looking for the love of my life.
I am looking for the one who will take this hardened cold heart and make it sing again.

"Have you ever been in love
Have you touched the soul of someone"




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Journal Entries:
8/14/2011 1:08:14 AM
He makes me wait. It is sweet anticipation!!!

7/26/2011 12:42:29 AM
Craving Him again. . . Soon!?

7/21/2011 12:42:18 AM
I get all warm and happy when Master shows he's thinking of me!

7/19/2011 11:09:20 PM
He knows my happy place, he knows what takes me into my subspace. . .he is my most adored Master and I am forever his Bella.

7/14/2011 12:19:49 AM
I am home! I feel His marks upon me, a constant reminder that I am His. The journey continues!

6/30/2011 2:23:04 AM
I am craving him every day. Even when I try to stop thinking of him, he is always on my mind. I miss him!

6/27/2011 11:22:38 PM

Did a quick scan of my recent e-mails on here, not sure any of them are worth responding to.   One e-mail, from a user whose account no longer exists on this site, said to me that we were past lovers, and he lost interest in the lifestyle when the Enclave closed down.   Not only have I never played at the Enclave, I only know of ONE person that I met through this site whom I have had a true D/s relationship with.   This person, when questioned, said he was confident it was me.  Now he's gone from this site.  No photo, nothing to find out who he is exactly!   This lifestyle can be a thing of beauty, it can also be a thing of extreme pain.   When your body, mind and soul are craving that ONE THING that no one else can give but THE ONE.    I am ready . .  but is HE?

6/27/2011 12:13:20 AM
How long is forever? I am losing hope. I crave release. I am ready to serve only him!

5/20/2011 11:44:12 PM

Sometimes this waiting is unbearable.   But in the end, the reward will be painfully exquisite!

5/12/2011 9:12:11 PM

He knows what I want and what I need.   He knows how much I love to serve.   He knows I will wait forever for him. 

5/11/2011 11:43:49 PM

It's funny how he can still make me quiver when he's near. 


1/24/2011 12:08:29 AM

It has been well over a year since my last journal entry here.  Just wanted to stop in and say hello.   Thank you to all of the Doms who have contacted me.   I am not looking for a new Dom at this time.  

11/4/2009 10:27:31 PM
Just wanted to stop in and say hello.   I haven't been very active on this site recently, but I am still extremely interested in the lifestyle.   It has been a very busy year with a lot of changes - career changes, life changes and the best change of all - a home for Blue Lamp Studio!  I have been very busy working on my art career and am hoping to make that transition from hobby to business.  
I am hoping to begin writing some poetry on here again, as I am finding inspiration in different avenues than before.   Having a Master to love has always been my greatest poetic muse.   I hope to find that love again someday.   

1/14/2009 5:38:23 PM
The caleche winds blew in and once again, I've come down with bronchitis.   I caught it earlier this time than in the past, but even after a trip to the doctor, I feel sicker.   It's off to bed for bella

12/30/2008 10:49:46 AM
Tonight I'm off to challenge the One-armed bandits.  Yay Blackhawk!!!   Come on back to me seven, mama needs a new pair of shoes!

11/12/2008 9:55:03 PM
I updated my photos but not all of them are approved yet.  I am taking a workshop right  now where I have to write for three minutes every day.   This week we are doing word collages.  Whenever I write something worth sharing, I'll post it here. 


11/7/2008 8:47:21 PM

It was a fun time, lots and lots of people, most I knew, and some I didn't know.   Someone showed up who made me smile - he didn't stay long, but I was flattered he fit me into his busy schedule.

The mood was positive, and everyone seemed to really enjoy my artwork.   From what I heard, the wine was excellent - I couldn't taste it - and some of my guests took a bottle or two home!  

Although an old friend couldn't make it, I appreciated the note he sent me.   There's always gonna be a next time!

11/6/2008 7:20:14 PM
Another Friday is lurking.  I have the day off and a BIG night tomorrow!!!   I'm so looking forward to sharing a part of who I am with my friends and co-workers.  I am also looking forward to seeing some old friends that I have lost touch with - especially someone who was so very special to me!

10/27/2008 7:19:09 PM
It's Halloween on Friday!  I've got my top hat, I've got my platform boots, I''ve got my lace outfit, I've got my cape, I've got my blonde curly wig - I've got my "Nicks" on.  Yay!!!  I can't WAIT for Friday night to get here!!!!

10/22/2008 11:32:52 PM

This evening, I went to a Volunteer Appreciation Party for a local organization that I work with.  We had a bowling party at the DAC in downtown Denver.  Since the alley there is very "retro", we all were asked to wear 50's attire, and I actually found a very authentic poodle skirt!   Awards were given, and silly as they were, they gave me a VAP for the best Stevie Nicks impersonation.  I was so thrilled!   I happened to mention my Halloween "traditon" to someone in the office, and they actually turned it into an award.  Very cool!   My bowling left a lot to be desired, but it was a good time!

10/12/2008 11:15:58 PM
Today I went to see Colorado Ballet perform Swan Lake - it was amazing!!!!  Brought back a LOT of memories of my career as a Ballet mom.  

10/12/2008 12:45:47 AM

I hate my cable provider.   I was out and about all day and wanted to record the Red River Shootout and watch the game this evening.  But my STUPID DVR SHUT OFF AT THE START OF THE 4TH QUARTER!!!!!  So although my team WON, I didn't get that sense of victory I wanted.  I felt robbed.  Next year, I'm cancelling my day and gluing myself to my t.v. for every blood curdling second of college football at it's very best.  No matter who wins or loses, or who gets the bragging rights for the year, this is one of the best rivalrys in College Football.   I always get so homesick for Texas, the State Fair and Fletcher's Corny dogs!!!   I can't wait to see who's gonna be #1 - It'll probably be Alabama, but Texas should be a close 2nd.   I love College Football!

10/11/2008 1:18:23 AM
What a fun Friday!  I hooked up with some friends tonight for "killer karaoke" - it felt so good to get up and sing again . . .

10/9/2008 11:01:37 PM
It's  going to be a crazy busy weekend, but mostly fun.  I just wish the weather was going to be nicer, but unfortunately, we're stuck with what we get.  Oh, the joys of living in Colorado. 

10/7/2008 10:26:34 PM
I went out today and spent a little money on myself.   It was nice to have a little jingle in my pocket that didn't have to all go to bills!

10/6/2008 10:33:25 PM
Life finds me busier than ever.   Work, family and friends are keeing me away from the computer more and more everyday.   It's nice though  -  Friday and Saturday I spent nearly all my time in the kitchen trying new and healthy foods.   I love to cook, and forgot how much fun it can be.  

10/2/2008 11:41:08 PM
I fell asleep on my couch tonight in front of the t.v. and woke up to someone BANGING on my front door at 11:15 p.m.  Now I can't sleep.   I have NO IDEA who it was, but I'm not HAPPY!

9/30/2008 11:02:16 PM

The days are getting busier and busier.  Work, family, friends and volunteering for worthy organizations seems to be taking up all my time these days.   I seriously need a ME day!

9/8/2008 10:15:28 PM

Exciting days ahead - a new home, a possible new Master and lots and lots of art projects are keeping me extremely busy!  

9/6/2008 10:04:09 AM
Sir, thank you again for another incredible session.  Tonight,  we will meet face to face, and see where this is going to go. . .

8/29/2008 12:01:15 AM

Well I am so close to moving day and getting excited, scared, anxious, and exhausted.   However, moving day also brings me that much closer to meeting you Sir, and living out the fantasies we have shared over the past few weeks.  

8/27/2008 11:25:36 PM

Sir, I want to thank you for last night.  I am growing quite fond of you, and just hearing your voice, telling me what you wanted me to do, and knowing that I gave you so much pleasure . . . well, the emotions I brought out in me are indescribable.

I am so looking forward to our first real session, and seeing where this is going to lead.  


8/26/2008 11:13:31 PM
Thank you for the message - I am glad you are thinking of me, because I am thinking of you.     I will touch myself in a secret place tonight, and think about the moment when we meet, when you have me helpless below you, bound and blindfolded, waiting for the sting of your punishment.  Through taming and discipline I will become your submissive pleasure slut, and you will become Master. 

Sweet Dreams!!

8/25/2008 11:01:38 PM

It's late, but just wanted to let someone know that I am thinking of him, and looking forward to the moment when we can finally meet, and see where these desires of ours will take us.   It's a shame my last attempt to message you was unsuccessful, but I'm so happy you enjoyed my text.   Perhaps later in the week we can try again.   Soon, VERY soon we will meet, and these fantasies will be very real.  

8/24/2008 8:16:24 PM

Anticipation:  Bound to your bed, your hand pulling my hair as your strap burns into my soft flesh.  Marking me as your property.     Will you be the MASTER I have waited for?   Will you be the one to tame this shrew?  Restore my faith in MEN?  Soon we will meet, face to face and bella's journey will begin anew.   I am moist with thoughts of you.  WARRIOR . . . MASTER. . . FRIEND. 

8/9/2008 2:57:26 PM
Rest in Peace, Barkley - I will miss you!   You will always be with me in my heart.  

7/23/2008 8:39:52 PM
It's been a LONG week and it's only Wednesday!   The weather really pulled a number on me today - I just couldn't shake the drowsies!   I got through my first day without a nicotine patch - didn't smoke either!  YAY!!!  

7/17/2008 9:44:41 PM
Thanks to everyone who has sent me an e-mail in support of my new smoke-free life!   I appreciate it so much.  

7/16/2008 8:25:54 PM

All of my kittens are now with their new families.  It was a rough evening.  I'm staying strong just thinking about all the positive changes I'm making in my life. 

Still SMOKE FREE!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

7/14/2008 8:34:43 PM
Ten days and still strong!   I am missing the kittens though - three were placed over the weekend, the last two leave me on Wednesday.  Now the harder part:  placing my two adult cats and putting down my "baby" Barkley.   He's about 15 years old now, and I raised him from a 6 week old puppy.   I can't imagine being without him. 

7/11/2008 9:17:40 PM
Wow, I made it ONE FULL WEEK without a cigarette!   I think I'm really gonna do it this time.  

7/10/2008 5:50:32 PM
I am so ready for the weekend.  ONE MORE DAY!  Three of my five kittens will be leaving through the weekend and week though.  I'll miss them, but am happy they will be going to good homes. 

7/9/2008 9:14:45 PM

Day five - still smoke free!  I'm CONFIDENT!!!

7/8/2008 11:27:41 PM
A woman's submission is like a rose.  Soft, delicate, sweet and tender to the touch.  Waiting and ready to be taken . . . but first . . . there are the thorns.

"So to the red rose 
grows the passion"

Stevie Nicks


7/8/2008 10:23:27 PM

Day four and still smoke free.  One Day at a Time! 

7/7/2008 10:24:53 PM
72 + hours without a cigarette!  I'm gonna do it this time!   This is the LONGEST I've gone without a cigarette in over four years. 

7/4/2008 12:27:06 PM

6/30/2008 10:00:39 PM
D - Have a safe trip - looking forward to round two! 



6/26/2008 8:06:18 PM
Sweet D - thank you for a wonderful evening!  I'm looking forward to more in the future! 

P.S.  (the spanking was the best!)

6/10/2008 7:24:49 PM

Wishing it was FRIDAY already!!!! 

6/8/2008 4:52:38 PM

Today's Annoyance: 

If you make TENTATIVE plans with me, and promise to call at a CERTAIN time, please call and either confirm or cancel.   That will save me a LOT of trouble.  


Otherwise, life is GREAT!!!  

5/30/2008 11:59:52 PM
Remembering Russell:

Two years ago today, I said my final goodbyes to you.   In those two years, I've thought of you, cried for you and shared memories of you with those who knew you and even those who did not.   You touched my life in so many ways and you continue to touch it still.   I will never forget your smile, your outrageous sense of humor and your fondness of the "naked nap".  How many of those I shared with you, cradled in your arms.   I love you still, and will never, ever let another take that part of my heart that will forever belong to you.   I hope you are at peace, and I pray that someday I will see your face again.

Love always!

5/28/2008 10:00:34 PM

5/27/2008 5:45:16 PM



5/13/2008 8:55:56 PM

5/7/2008 5:41:08 PM

Today's annoyment:  A persistent Dom who won't stop e-mailing me, even after I have asked him to stop and told him POINT BLANK I was not interested.   There is a difference between being a DOM and being a control freak.  

I'm sick of Dominant men who think just because I have talked to them once or twice that they can already act as if they are in control of me.   I am uncollared and I intend to stay that way.   

5/5/2008 9:03:35 PM
Thinking about somebody's smokin' hot kisses!  Ummm yum yum!

5/4/2008 8:13:13 PM
Had an awesome birthday!   Enjoyed the eye candy at PT's, and came close to getting a broken nose by one of the female dancers . . . it's a long story.   Thanks to my BFFS and friends who came out to celebrate with me.   To those that missed it, see you next year!

5/2/2008 9:15:59 PM
Soul is when you stop playing the music, and it starts playing you.

5/1/2008 9:08:01 PM

I paid a visit to this afternoon to view the memorial that was set up for my cousin Ann who died of cancer on Sunday.   While I was there, I also found a memorial for my friend Russell who died two years ago, May 24, 2006.  

In all of the photos of Ann, there was only one where she was not smiling.  The same for Russell.   Sometimes I wonder what God's plans are for us, for He seems to take the happiest, most joyful people early.   Is it their exhuberant love for life that makes Him want to bring them closer to him?   Maybe we should all laugh more, love stronger and live exhuberantly to truly earn that place in Heaven.  

I miss my friend Russell.   He visited me the day of his funeral.   He sat across from me as I lay on my bed in a state between sleep and wake.   He gave me that ruggedly handsome smile, and said something to me.   To this day, I don't know what he said.   Maybe he was telling me to be happy that he was finally at peace.   Maybe he was telling me he'd made the wrong choice when he left me for his ex-girlfriend.   Maybe he just came to say goodbye.  

Ever since he died, I've worked on several ideas for a short story about Russell.   Perhaps someday I'll find the time to put that story together.   I'll probably post it in my blog.   Russell was one of a kind - a true rebel without a cause.  From his 50's style DA to his vintage dress, he always looked as if he stepped right out of American Graffiti.   Opie grown up.  (smile)  

Russell owned two stores on Broadway.   Crown Mercantile and Aces.   Aces sold vintage clothes and jewelry.   Crown carried merchandise that you just can't find in your regular Wal-mart.   Unique home furnishings, imports from Japan ( I still love my wind up sushi)!   But the best thing about Crown was the CANDY!  He had candy that you just can't find just anywhere.   It was funny how his personality shone through every item he had in his stores.   When times got difficult for him, he combined the two stores and maintained his business out of Crown until his death.   Shortly after he died, I took a nostalgic trip down South Broadway and my eyes welled with tears when I saw the for lease signs on the old Crown storefront and the Marquee of the Bluebird Dance hall cried out in bold black letters:  "Well Miss You Russell".   Indeed, we do. 


5/1/2008 5:39:37 PM
I'm praying that this weather clears up by Saturday.  It's been a long week, and next week is going to be crazy - with a move, and a new start with a new company.  I found out my boss has gotten an offer too, but there are still some "kinks" to work out.   Hopefully he'll be moving with me too, because I really have enjoyed working with him.  
I'm ready to chill in front of the t.v.  Happy Thursday!

4/30/2008 11:20:25 PM
Walking in a winter wonderland - THIS SUCKS FOR THE FIRST DAY IN MAY!   I'm gonna dream of oceans and sandy beaches and pray for good weather for Saturday.

Good night

4/29/2008 11:41:53 PM
Another day closer to the weekend!  Yay!   It's also payday tomorrow.   Can you say OH YEAH!!!  

4/28/2008 9:16:44 PM
Mondays done - is it Friday yet?   I'm ready for the weekend - it's my pre-birthday weekend and me and my BFF's are gonna party!   Boy do I need a party right now. 

4/27/2008 11:19:05 AM
Happy Sunday all!  Hello to all my friends. 

4/27/2008 1:15:13 AM
I spent almost all day yesterday doing surveys on my space.  How dull am I?   ha ha

4/26/2008 11:26:31 PM
Aww - how wonderful to relax in my house without any chaos.   Love my grandkids, but sometimes it's just all a little too much, especially with Brandun - who loves to climb, and of course, he climbs where he shouldn't.  
Things are looking up - can't wait until lunch tomorrow with one of my bffs!

4/26/2008 12:31:56 AM
Just trying to stay positive.  Lots of drama and financial worries.   A meeting with a potential Master didn't happen, but we plan to re-schedule.   He's an old and very dear friend, so I'm sure it'll be worth the wait!  

4/19/2008 11:31:38 PM
It was an interesting day.  Was supposed to go to a party, but couldn't find the location, so ended up coming home and crashing in front of the t.v.  Got an interesting invitation today from an old friend!   Things that make you go hmmmmmm . . .

4/18/2008 5:15:58 PM
Crazy work day today.  Looks like my transfer to CIGNA is going to happen sooner than later.  Target date is May 7th!   Day before me and little Brandun's birthdays.  Hard to believe my favorite little fella is going to be two years old!  The newest little peanut was two months old today.   Grandkids are the BEST! 

4/18/2008 5:15:48 PM
Crazy work day today.  Looks like my transfer to CIGNA is going to happen sooner than later.  Target date is May 7th!   Day before me and little Brandun's birthdays.  Hard to believe my favorite little fella is going to be two years old!  The newest little peanut was two months old today.   Grandkids are the BEST! 

4/17/2008 10:14:08 PM

It was a busy day, and I'm exhausted.  I love journaling, so here I go again.   My head is hurting a little, so I'll keep it short and sweet.   It was nice talking to new friends tonight, and reconnecting with old friends, too.   I hope to have a relaxing weekend, because after this week, I'll need it!   Life is good, but stressful.   I'm hanging in there, like I always do! 

4/16/2008 8:20:10 PM
Hello again - I am back after an accidental computer mishap, and it feels great to be ba ba back!   I'm NOT looking for a BDSM relationship at this time.

1/28/2007 10:12:14 AM
It's amazing how fast life can change.   It was John Lennon who said "Life happens when you're busy making other plans", and that is what happened with me.    I was so busy planning for my new job, and anticipating the positive changes it would bring, that I didn't realize that my daughter and grandson were in need for some changes of their own.    They are now staying with me for awhile, and though I love having them here, it has forced changes on me as well.   I won't be online as much as I used to be, and I definitely won't be on collarme.    Those who know me know how to contact me.   Those who don't, you can leave me a message, and when I'm here, I'll respond if I'm interested in speaking to you.

Take care --

1/12/2007 5:57:54 PM
I'M FREE I'M FREE!!!  I wrapped up my old job today, and though it hurt to say goodbye, I'm so happy I don't have to drive to Downtown Denver anymore!   YAY!!!!

My week was much better than last week, and each day that passed (especially after I disconnected from the phones on Tuesday) I could feel the stress melt away.  

I'm excited about my new job, and I am going in confident and strong . . .

IT'S TOO FREAKIN' COLD HERE THOUGH!!!  I'm so ready for Spring!!! 

1/7/2007 10:18:49 PM
What a week!   Tuesday started off with a very nervous bella sitting at her desk at work, questioning her options.   Giving notice without having a 100% guaranteed job offer, or waiting until the job was firm.   I decided to wait, and at almost 2:00 p.m. on Tuesday afternoon, I turned in my two week notice.    My new job starts on the 15th.   I'm so excited!!!!   Things kinda took a downward slope afterwards.   Wednesday night I had a flat tire, and spent most of Thursday morning at Discount Tires buying a new one.    Then Friday morning came, and more snow than was expected.   After a wild goose chase trying to find the Dayton St. light rail station, I just caught it at my regular stop and was an hour and a half late for work.    I slipped and fell HARD on the ice, and tonight I feel as if my body was put together wrong.   I am having random sharp pains in my neck, my right hand is bruised and my right ankle is throbbing - I think I sprained it.   I hobbled around work all day, but have been taking plenty of ibuprophen and taking it easy. 

Hopefully this mess will clear out of here soon, but my heart grows heavy when I hear about more snow on Friday.   Haven't we had enough???   I'm ready for spring already. 

12/29/2006 10:42:39 PM
BORED, BOREd, BORed, BOred, Bored!  What a boring day.   At least it didn't snow as much as last week.   Tomorrow I'm going to go out for supplies.   I heard there was a run on snow shovels!   I'm looking for a part-time husband to do some general repairs around my house.   ha ha ha   any takers?  No sex involved.  Just a handyman situation.   

12/28/2006 8:58:12 PM

Another week, another blizzard.   I'm a little better prepared for this one, and my car is in its assigned spot.   For some reason, that comforts me, even though I may not be able to get out.   I think it's because I can look out the window, and it's there.  

All the loose ends are being tied up on the new job offer, and hopefully I can go in to work on Tuesday and give my two weeks notice. 

Christmas was nice and restful, but after spending so much time stuck at home, it was kinda nice to get back to work.   I do admit I shed a few tears on Christmas Eve.   I miss the big family Christmases of years past, and the fact that I had to have two separate celebrations with my daughters.   However, seeing the little one opening his presents (with a little help from mom and grandma) and watching him experience his first Christmas was quite a joy!

I guess the only thing that would make my world complete would be a Master to cuddle with in front of the fire!!!


12/22/2006 5:30:21 PM
Today was supposed to be back to work day, but since I knew I wouldn't be able to make it in, so I called in sick, and waited for my friends Master JT and cherry to come out and dig me out.   It was great meeting them, and I offer many, many thanks to them!

I got a verbal offer from the company I'm hoping to work for, and so my official starting date should be Jan. 15th, pending any disasters . . .

My ex-hubby is getting married tonight, so that leaves me with some odd off centered feelings, but due to the weather and other issues, I'm stuck and home with these feelings, and all in all - I hope he's happy and that he's making the right decision. . .

12/20/2006 3:32:10 PM
Bella's Blizzard Blues --

Today started off like any other snowy day, but it didn't end like one!   I rode the llightrail to work, thinking that would be easier this evening when I got off of work.   But, the sent us home at noon, and said we may not have to work tomorrow.   A co-worker drove me to the light rail station, then she headed home.    It was slow going from the station to home, which normally takes about 10 minutes, but due to stranded vehicles and white out conditions, it took much longer.   I was finally in the homestretch, but got stranded at the entrance of my townhome community, because the HOA didn't plow the driveway.   I was stuck with my car halfway in the drive and halfway in the street, and even though I called 911, they said I wasn't in "heavy traffic", so they wouldn't help me.   There  were other cars stranded with me, and one by one, they all got help, and took off.   Soon I was all alone, still stuck halfway in traffic, halfway home.   I couldn't think of anyone to call, so I called my FM, and when he didn't pick up, I left a tearful, quite hysterical message for him.   Just as I was wrapping up my plea for help, I noticed a young man at my window with a shovel.   Slowly but surely, he got me out of the rut I was in, and stayed with me, digging me out of two more sticky situations, until we gave up, and he plowed out a spot for me to park my car.   I had to walk the rest of the way home in snow past my knee, and now I can't stop couging.   My scarf was frozen to my head, and my shoes and socks were soaked.    I can already tell my boss not to expect me tomorrow, and as far as my HOA is concerned, they can wait for their payment, which is due today.   BUT, I'm not walking to the office.  A trip that should have taken 10 minutes took at least two, and in all, it was 4 hours travel time from Downtown Denver to my home in Aurora.   I'm thankful to be home!!!!!  

On the plus side, the recruiter for the company I've been interviewing with called and left a message for me today that she had "good news".    She must have been sent home too, because she hasn't responded to my message to her.   So, I guess good news can wait until tomorrow!!!! 

12/16/2006 12:58:02 AM
Today was one of those days that only happen once in a great while.   I sold three prints while setting up my artwork at our Company's Christmas Market, got a nice Christmas bonus and had my third interview. Though they didn't offer me the job, they did ask when I could start.    Now I sit and wait for the powers to be to make their decision.

Then tonight at Karaoke, they had a contest, and I won first place!   I got a t-shirt and a giant shot glass.  Since I don't drink, I figure it would make a cute vase for some dried flowers.  

Tomorrow, I have to get my house ready for Christmas, and hopefully can do some shopping with my bonus money.   I hope this good fortune continues.   It's been a long time coming, and it feels good!

12/13/2006 6:14:55 PM

Friday is a big day for me.    I have my third and final interview with this new company, and I'm very nervous and excited all at the same time.    Friday evening, I may be celebrating!!!!!  

12/11/2006 8:07:14 PM
Just wrapped up a couple nights with my daughter and grandson.   We took him to see Santa for the first time.   It was one of those moments.   He was so good, and he didn't cry.   Santa said he could have just fallen asleep right there on his lap.   I think santa liked him.  Santa gave him some little blue snowflakes to hang on the wall of his room.   The photos are so cute, I just have to figure out how to e-mail them out to family and friends.   

It was difficult taking them back home tonight.  

I am looking forward to an upcoming date to Wildlights with a dear friend!   Hope it's a little chilly that night so we can cuddle up!!

12/9/2006 2:03:34 AM
Two of my friends recently joined collarme, and I'm so thrilled to have them here!   I hope they both stick around for awhile, and that they both find what they are searching for.

I'm in much better spirits today.   It's amazing what a night of Karaoke will do.   The much anticipated Duet was attempted, but the D.J. put the solo version on, so my Duet parter just kinda stood there through most of the song.   We did hit some pretty sweet harmonies though, and after the song was over, two women came over and hugged me, and told me I sang it beautifully!   I was afraid I wouldnt be able to pull it off after my voice strain of last week.  

Tomorrow I meet with the electrician again, I think.   I may cancel the appointment, because I got the lights on myself.   What I do need is a couple of helping hands to re-arrange my bedroom furniture, to move my extremely heavy dresser away from the breaker box.  

Well, it's late, and I'm now completely relaxed after the long drive home from the north end of town.  

12/7/2006 8:26:38 PM
bah bah bah burnin' down the house!   ha ha ha ha ha   wish it was funny,but it's not.  

It would be so nice to have someone in my life who cared if I lived or died.    Someone who'd hold me in their arms and tell me it'll all be better.  I'm so sick of being alone . . . I haven't been in a relationship in over a year.   Where are the men who want to stick around and get to know someone???   Why are relationships so hard to sustain?   What the hell am I doing wrong????  

12/7/2006 6:56:25 PM
Woke up this morning to a dark bedroom and bathroom this morning.   The new circuit board that was installed on Tuesday was tripped.   After screaming at the dispatcher twice today, I won't be seeing the electrician again until Saturday morning.   Hopefully my house will still be standing by then.  

12/6/2006 9:32:11 PM
Wish me luck -- the company I've been looking at and that has been looking at me will be setting me up for a third interview next week with an Executive V.P.!!!   Hope that means good things for 2007!!!! 

12/5/2006 6:35:02 PM
Anyone want to buy a townhome real cheap??  Had a little bit of a catastrophe last night.   I was blow drying my hair, and blew a fuse.   My bedroom and bathroom went pitch black.   My fuse box was behind my dresser, so I had to remove all the drawers and move the dresser away from the wall to access it.  After flipping all the switches and nearly electocuting myself, I found a tripped switch, and no matter how many times I tried to get it to switch back on, it just wouldn't go.   So, I called an electrician, and sat here most of the morning waiting for him to show up.   He replaced the circuit breaker and tweaked all the outlets.   He replaced the outlet behind my bed, and when he pulled it out, it was smouldering.   He said there was the start of a small fire inside the wall, and if it had been left alone, my entire house would have burned to the ground!!!!  This after the former owner was supposed to have completed all the electrical uh ohs in the house before I bought it from her last year.    Merry Christmas, kids -- momma got a new Circuit breaker for Christmas .  .  .

Santa needs to slip a winning lotto ticket in my stocking this year!

12/3/2006 1:55:13 AM
PLEASE READ MY PROFILE:   I DO NOT ACCEPT CHAT REQUESTS!   It is annoying when I get chat requests  when I have it prominently displayed on my profile that I cannot use the chat feature on collarme.   Are there any DOMINANT men out there who actually READ the profiles on here?  

12/3/2006 1:04:18 AM
It's been a great weekend so far.   Had two full nights of "killer karaoke", except I strained my throat doing an Evanescence song I've always wanted to do.   Seems I received a challenge on Friday night from a friend who wants to do "Bring Me To Life" as a duet next Friday.   He told me to practice, and I think I overdid it.   I have a week to rest my voice though, and hopefully it will be okay by next Friday.   I get so much joy from singing Karaoke, it is my greatest outlet from all the stress I've been under at work, and it gives me a chance to spend some quality time with my gorgeous daughter!

I've been doing a lot of thinking over the past few days, and also addressing some of the questions I've received from some of the Doms I've been talking to here on collar me.   It seems I really don't have the time to devote to a true BD/sm relationship at this time, especially if I am facing a career change.   I may have to put my search on tha back burner, just to see how the chips fall.   I do know I want a Dominant man in my life, but as much as I don't want a part-time Dom, I'm not willing to be a part-time sub.   I want a real relationship.   I want to be in love, and I want that man to be my Master.   So, if he is out there, and he is willing to give me 100% of himself, he shouldn't have to settle for less than 100% of me.   I still want to explore, and see what I find, so by all means if you are local -- and I mean local as in the DENVER/AURORA area, by all means contact me.   I'm not going to drive a great distance to meet you, and don't expect you to drive a great distance to meet me.   I'm being realistic here.    

11/30/2006 9:00:13 PM
The second interview went well.   They are asking for my references, so I need to fax my letters of reference to them tomorrow.   I think that is a good sign.   Tomorrow is Friday and HOPEFULLY, a full night of Karaoke! 

Happy Friday everyone!!! 

11/29/2006 10:08:06 PM
Tomorrow afternoon I have a second interview for the new position I have been considering.   I am cautiously hopeful that a job offer will come with this interview.   I don't want to get my hopes up though.   Wish me luck!!!!!  

11/28/2006 6:57:54 PM

I am ready to being searching again.   Searching for the Master of my dreams.   Soon I'll update my profile with a little more information of exactly what I am searching for.   But in the meantime, I am still always open to making new friends. 

11/27/2006 9:53:56 PM

Today my thoughts are with my friend Russell, who passed away in May of this year.     Someone on another site has opened a floodgate of memories.   Russell was unique.  A modern version of a 50's icon - he always dressed impeccably, and his tattoos were legendary!   He was one of the nicest men I ever met, and I always wished that things would have worked out differently for us, way back when.   I have so many mementos of him in my home, and his photo still hangs on my refrigerator.   I'll never forget him, and the fun he brought to my life and the lives of everyone he met.  Handsome, suave, sophisticated and such a clown!   What I miss most about Russell, besides his stores, is the CANDY!   He had candy that no one sells anymore - and purple bubble gum that tasted so good - (though I don't chew gum, I could taste it when he kissed me).  

My daughters said he was their favorite of all the fella's I've dated since my divorce, and they enjoyed his stores on Broadway as much as I did.   Of course, they're gone now, and I'm sure his spirit still lingers on Broadway --perhaps at the Skylark where he'd go to swingdancing - or perhaps in the empty dwelling where Crown used to be.  

Anytime I enjoy the luxury of a "naked nap" -- I think of you, Russell . . . Rest in Peace!    I miss you!!!!    

11/25/2006 9:30:27 PM
It was a great day today -- we had a wonderful dinner, and so much fun with the baby.   His auntie and me tried to teach him how to blow raspberries, and he caught on pretty quickly!  

After taking the baby and his mom home, came home and watched my favorite rock band of all time -- Bon Jovi -- being inducted into the UK Hall of Fame!   Richie Sambora's acceptance speech, and his warm embrace with Jon brought tears to my eyes.   I have loved that band for so long -- after they picked up their awards, they did three of their best songs --

This has had to be one of the best Thanksgiving weekends ever --

11/24/2006 1:30:22 PM
I put my Christmas tree up today.   Actually, it was up all year (sans decorations) due to a dare I made to my daughters about Texas winning the National Championship last year.   Of course, today I had to watch them lose to the Aggies, and a bigger loss, watch their quarterback being taken off the field on a John Deere cart with a neck injury.   It really takes the fun out of watching football when those sort of injuries happen.   Of course, as he was leaving the field, he gave a big thumbs up to his team and the fans.   Hopefully that's a good sign.

I'll just have to sing away my blues tonight at karaoke . . .  but the tree looks nice, I just have to add a stocking over the fireplace for the little guy.   This is going to be a great Christmas!!!! 

11/24/2006 11:52:46 AM
Had a wonderful Thanksgiving yesterday, and plan on a repeat tomorrow with my own little family.   Of course my best friend and her daughter are included as well, as their hospitality was most appreciated!   After leaving their home, came home and finished the evening with a date with Mr. Yum!   Tonight, killer karaoke with my daughter and shopping for Thanksgiving dinner at 2 a.m.   That should be fun!  

Hope everyone is enjoying their long weekend as much as I am! 

11/23/2006 12:06:39 PM
Hope everyone has somewhere special to go today, and someone special to spend the day with.   This afternoon, I'll be celebrating the day with my best friend and her daughter.   Tonight, plans with Mr. Yum!  

11/23/2006 10:48:10 AM


11/23/2006 9:23:15 AM
The best thing about Collar Me's mail system is the DELETE button!

11/21/2006 8:11:44 PM
Only one more day of work and then four glorious days off to celebrate Thanksgiving!!  I have so much to be thankful for this year and I am looking forward to spending quality time with family and the friends who mean so much to me.   I'm going to help my daughter host her first Thanksgiving Dinner.   I'm sure we'll watch Pieces of April while we cook the turkey!!!

11/20/2006 10:42:00 PM
Interesting events taking place! I love being in "yum" with someone! Hopefully we'll have a chance to get to know each other better very soon, and see if any sparks ignite, other than the logs in the fireplace! Thanksgiving should be interesting this year!

11/19/2006 10:24:25 PM
Loving Lazy Sundays!   Other than being ripped off by the waitress last night, it was a fun night with the girls.    I'm seriously looking forward to a three day work week and Turkey on Thursday and Saturday!   

11/18/2006 11:03:14 AM
Life is so good right now, and I have so many things to smile about.   The Holiday season is upon us once again, and there's a little sapphire blue eyed  baby boy that is making this Holiday season so much brighter!   Perhaps he's the reason I'm smiling so much these days!   He makes me so proud to say that I'm a grandma!  

11/17/2006 5:55:36 PM
A Dom here on collarme that I have been talking to recently referred to me as a "royal slut".   Hmmmm, I LIKE that!  

11/15/2006 10:31:11 PM
Learning to let go of the past will open the door to new beginnings.   Treasuring what we shared will help me to heal and to move on.   Knowing that in my heart I can no longer call him Master may leave open the door to continue to call him friend.   Learning to separate the past from the present will help me grow.   I feel stronger than ever.   Each day apart from him and living in this silence from him has helped me release the hold he has had over me for so many years.    Perhaps we will meet again someday, and our smiles will say all that is needed to be said.   Perhaps we will meet again someday as friends.   For it is obvious to me now that our paths must separate and we must each search for our own destinies.   He will always be special to me, and he will always invoke in me precious memories.   He was my first Master, but I know he will not be my last.  

11/14/2006 8:13:32 PM
It's a curious world, and I guess his silence is telling me all I need to know.   I said I wasn't going to initiate contact, but feel we should talk eventually.   Apparently, he doesn't feel the same.    I guess I have to live with that!   Anyway, life is good.  

11/13/2006 8:28:42 PM

Blonde moment:  What does the blonde do when she goes to the bank to make a deposit, and forgets to endorse her check, and doesn't have a pen?

a)  She uses a crayon.
b)  She runs to the store and buys the fanciest pen in the display, and signs the check over to the store.
c)  She drives all the way home endorses the check and leaves her debit card at home, necessitating another trip back home.
d)  She goes to a gas station and borrows the pen from the counter, because they didn't have any to sell.
e)  all of the above
f)   none of the above

11/13/2006 5:10:43 PM
Hmmm, interesting stuff!  Just read the profile of a Dom on here that says he has an Owner's guide that must be signed off by any sub he considers.   I think that perhaps there are some Doms on here that should take a look at that manual.  

It's been over a week now, and He has made no effort to contact me, and I promised several people who know the story that I would not contact Him.   Perhaps we should talk, but this time, I am not initiating contact.   At this point, I am unsure if the information I obtained was accurate, and perhaps I should give him a chance to tell me himself.   I would think if he really did care about me as he professed he did, he would want to make this right.   The relationship with the friend involved is pretty much over, but I'm wondering if I should write his off as well.   I'm not crumbling . . . don't think I am, but just thinking that perhaps I should give him another chance.   Lord knows, I've given him more chances than any other man in my life.   Perhaps he's out of chances.   As in any good Chess game -- we're in check -- it's his move.    

11/13/2006 5:01:16 PM
Well, vacation time is just about over.   Had a great rest, and got to spend so much time with my grandson.   I feel so lucky to have gotten so much time with him.   He smiles at me now, and remembers me in-between visits.  I'm always happy to help out my daughter with his care.   

11/12/2006 10:16:19 PM
Spent most of the day today with my daughter and grandson.   Everytime I see him, I fall more and more in love!   I've become quite attached to him, and I think he's beginning to recognize me, because now he greets me with a big toofless grin!   

Tomorrow is another day off, and I'll start off the day with a job interview, then my daughter wants me to come and watch soap operas with her and the baby.    

11/12/2006 1:05:58 AM
Went back for more "killer karaoke" tonight, and sold the two prints to my friends who'd committed to buy them.   They were very excited about the quality of the prints, and I was excited to walk away with a little "jingle" in my pocket!  

Tried some new songs tonight, and revisited some songs I haven't done in awhile.   All in all it was a fun night, and I always enjoy getting to spend time with my beautiful daughter. 

11/11/2006 1:38:38 AM
I haven't had as much fun at Karaoke since Halloween weekend.   Though I didn't dress like Stevie, I crooned to quite a few FM and SN songs, including "Silver Springs", which is quoted in my profile.   Dedicated that to someone who shall remain nameless, but was able to conjure up enough passion and anger to rival Miss Nicks herself!    I have been taking my art portfolio into the bar, and sold one print and have commitments to sell two more next Friday . . . VERY cool!   As I was leaving, the DJ chased me down and told me he had something to give me.   I went back in, and he handed me the "Shockproof" Microphone holder from his mike stand, which he'd told me a few weeks ago, was once used by Jon Bon Jovi!   WOW!   I was so excited, I ran back to my car, and as I backed out, I backed right into a parked car.  (ouch!)   Luckily, there was more damage to my car than theirs.  It sucked, but hopefully, insurance will cover it.    I'm bummed about a ding in my fender, but no one was hurt, and it was all the falt of a darn fire hydrant I was trying to miss.   Reminder to self:   never park in that spot again.   

11/10/2006 6:20:53 PM
My friend described to me the relationship he has with his "pet".   He said he was collared to her and she was collared to him.   I can tell he truly understands what being a Dom is all about.   They talk everyday.   Their relationship is exclusive.   He is one of the kindest most considerate men I have ever met in my life!   I am considering asking him to help me interview Doms . . . I trust him and value his opinion!

11/9/2006 8:31:44 PM
Freedom is so good.   Soon I'll be brave enough to begin searching again . . . for that ONE who  truly understands this lifestyle and what it means to a slave to know she belongs to only Him.     The one I can truly call MASTER in every sense of the word.   One who will be capable of giving his heart to me, as I give mine to  Him.   With total honesty, no hangups and no lies.    

11/8/2006 5:36:23 PM

It was such a beautiful day today, and even more so because tomorrow is my Friday, and I have a four day weekend, and a job interview on Monday!   Someone was in my thoughts today, and brought a smile to my face.   I love this new freedom, and the opportunity to revisit old friendships!   Today we can be friends, but who knows what the future may hold!   

11/7/2006 9:44:58 PM
It's amazing where life can take you sometime!   I was on another site earlier, and received an e-mail from someone who's screen name seemed vaguely familiar, only to discover I was being contacted by an old friend!   Discovering he was a Dom was not only a sweet discovery, but also left me feeling a little disappointed that I didnt know that side of him until now!   So, I called him up and we had the best talk ever!  I should have recoginized that side of him by the way he used to love to nibble on my neck, but he never confessed to be a full fledged Dom, and he never knew that I was a sub.   Unfortunately, he has a collared pet, so we can only be friends.  But he has an open invitation to nibble on my neck ANYTIME!!!  

11/7/2006 8:09:55 PM
The defense mechanism . . .  is it stubbornness?   The inability for someone to recognize when they are wrong . . . is very telling.   The ability to admit and amend for wrongdoing is a sign of strength.   An amend can be made, though the feeling of hurt can remain.   How come some people can admit to their mistakes and others cannot?   Is it because that defense mechanism is a sign that they ARE feeling guilty and are too stubborn to admit it?   Curious thoughts!   Wondering if they mean anything . . .

11/7/2006 7:36:01 PM
Woke up to reality this morning and a new sense of freedom!   I have taken back my heart . . . it is no longer his to keep.    Life is wonderful.  . . one day at a time!

11/6/2006 9:20:54 PM
Am I "crazy", childish and immature?  Or am I just having my head filled with so many lies that I cannot believe anything anyone is telling me?   Perhaps I am the destructive one, perhaps not.   Perhaps I am just lost right now and grieving.   Perhaps it's time to just let go of what I believed to be the truth.   Perhaps I am just misdirected.   Perhaps I am just human.   Who knows?   All I know is . . . I don't know who to trust.   Least of all myself.  

11/6/2006 6:06:34 PM
Those that deceive others sometimes discover they are being deceived themselves.   Friends who walk over other friends and leave nothing but hurt and bitterness in their wake prove they have no heart, and no respect for friendship.   Perhaps I'm naieve and too trusting sometimes, but this weekend, I discovered who my true friends are.   Even an apology didn't change someones attitude.   So, if I'm supposed to "chill out" - that's what I'm doing, and she can kiss me goodbye.  

11/6/2006 5:48:56 AM
Understanding within the Dom/sub relationship is important.   If a Dom doesn't realize how emotionally attached a sub is to him, then he isn't a Dom.   This lifestyle is not a "kink" -- it is a lifestyle.   How much hurt will such a man leave in his wake?   Only time will tell.   To invite someone in, to fill their head with promises which are sweetly buttered lies, then leaving them wanting . . . such dishonesty will only lead to pain.  

11/5/2006 8:02:03 PM

Learning to trust again is difficult.   Dishonesty rears it's ugly head.   It's time to listen to the heart.   It's time to heal.   Trust is so hard to build and even harder to maintain.   Who can you trust, if you cannot trust the ones you consider friends?  

Here's the knife from my back - wipe it clean before using it again.    Perhaps someday what is lost will be realized . . . perhaps it never will.  

10/29/2006 9:59:03 PM

This weekend ROCKED!!!  Friday night, made a cameo at Rock Island for the close out of our show there.   Then joined my daughter for a few hours of "killer karaoke".   Saturday, was out running around town putting together my halloween costume, when my Texas fella called, and invited me to lunch.   We ended up at the Texas Road House for steaks, then back to my place for "dessert!".    After he left, I got myself all glammed up as the Fabulous Miss Nicks, and headed to the Heartthrob to show off my costume to my dearest friend and sister.   After that, met some friends on Larimer for two concurrently running art shows at Meadowlark and Orange Cat studios.   After swimming in the sea of costumed guests at Meadowlark, went back for more Karaoke.   I swirled, twirled, had costume changes and totally enjoyed myself doing the vast collection of Fleetowood Mac and Stevie Nicks songs, then closed down the bar with my daughter doing "Time Warp".    We then adjourned to Village Inn for breakfast, and what a group we made!   Macho Man, Magenta and Stevie!   Macho Man was a hit (he's my daugter's best fella) and we couldn't leave the restaurant without fellow diners getting their picture with him.

Sunday morning met Mr. Texas for breakfast, then hooked up with my daughter for a visit with baby "blue eyes".    It was a wonderful afternoon, I feel relaxed and ready for another week of work!

10/24/2006 9:18:05 PM
It was a crazy, hectic day at work, so at lunchtime, I took a ciggie break and a nap break in my car.   I also had a short conversation with HIM!   It was so nice hearing HIS voice, and hearing what all was new with HIM!   The afternoon didn't slow down, and after work, I had to deliver my artwork. 

This weekend will be a blast.  Starting with Friday at work.   I'm hoping my "Legally Blonde" costume will be a hit.   Friday night, we close out three weeks of one art show, then Saturday night, we open two more.  I also promised my Karaoke D.J. that I'd dress like Stevie Nicks and make an appearance there.   There is another party I'm invited to, but I can't be everywhere.   Besides, the friend I was hoping to see at the party on Saturday, spent some time with me LAST Saturday night, so even if he goes, we've had our "meetin' of the minds" already.  

10/23/2006 11:36:34 PM
Tomorrow after work, I will be hanging yet another art show!    This weekend, we are closing one show, and opening two more, so I'll have three showing concurrently.   I'm so pleased to be getting such great exposure.   Besides singing and sessions, my artwork gives me a great sense of release.   I have plans for a magnificent new piece.   A portrait of yet another one of my idols, Amy Lee.   I can't wait to get started on it, and take my time.  After this weekend, my arts collective will be taking a much needed break, though our booking director will continue booking shows.   If anyone on collarme would like details about the location of the shows, e-mail me privately, and I'll be more than happy to fill you in.   Perhaps HE will be able to make an appearance, though I know HIS schedule prevents HIM from attending these days.   I just hope HE knows that I am thinking of HIM and I wish HIM well, and that HE knows how much HE means to me.  

10/22/2006 9:27:20 PM
I love when Friday gets here, but by Sunday night, I sit and scratch my head and wonder -- "where did the weekend go???"   I tried to make the most of every single moment, as work is so stressful right now.   Friday, did about four hours of "killer karaoke" with my gorgeous daughter.    Saturday, I ran around town, purchasing props for the halloween costume contest we are having at work.    Saturday night, it was dancing with the girls, where an old friend joined us for the evening.   It was great seeing him again, and even better, because he stopped by my house afterwards, and showed me a dvd he purchased on his vacation.  

Sunday, my new pal from Texas called, and we met for brunch.   Afterwards, we drove downtown and looked at the building he's working on.   It was so interesting hearing him describe how the building was structured.   Afterwards, we strolled down 16th street mall, and giggled about the robot that hangs out down there.  

The weekend would have been complete if I could have squeezed in a visit with my grandson, but they were busy, and it just didn't happen.   I do miss him so much!    He's my sweet little thing . . . he's my pride and joy!  

10/17/2006 9:30:43 PM
A very nice evening started off a little shaky.   The restaurant I'd selected wasn't there anymore.   So, we ended up at the Kona Grill.   It was a night of sharing grandma's "secret recipies".  I had him hungry for sweet rice, and he had me curious about chocolate gravy!  We ate steak and mashed potatoes and sipped sweet tea with lemon. YUM!!  We shared life stories and both let our Texan come out.   It was refreshing, and lessened "homesick" bella's aching for home.  Is he someone I'd like to see again?  Yes.   Is he someone I'd consider romantically?   Maybe.   Is he or isn't he a Dom?   The subject didn't come up.   But, it's nice to know I've made a new friend!  

10/17/2006 6:12:33 PM

Dinner date night!   He's a Texan like me!  Is he 'nilla?   I don't know, could be.   He could be a Dom!   I've loved our talks on the phone, hearing that southern accent melts me like butter.   Just the thought of us two Texans slippin' and slidin' in the snow to get to Cherry Creek on time makes me smile.   Oops, he just called, and he's on his way!  Gotta get goin'!  

10/15/2006 9:10:16 AM
UPDATE:   I am not interested in submissive men or switch men.    Also, if your e-mail reads like a form letter, I will not respond.  

10/15/2006 9:06:10 AM
RESPECT is a two way street.   There is a scene in Jerry Maguire about manners.   Bad manners are not and should not be tolerated by anyone.  No matter who they are.   Yes, goldfish  DO have better manners than some.  

10/14/2006 1:18:54 PM
I just picked up the new c.d. by Evanescence.  What a gorgeous voice Amy Lee has!   I don't know who has been the biggest inspiration to me - Amy or Stevie.   However, I am sure this c.d. will be used heavily when I mix my next "music to submit to" c.d!   

10/5/2006 7:34:14 PM
Thank you for talking with me last night, calming my fears, and helping me to realize what is important in my life.   You are now and will continue to be one of my best friends.   I will always treasure you and how you continue to support me.   Until tomorrow! 

10/5/2006 5:41:37 PM
HE has bestowed upon me a collar of protection.   That will limit my correspondence with any Dominant men on this site.   I will continue to pursue friendships, but at this time, I am not searching for a Dom.  

10/2/2006 7:39:37 PM
The elevator doors opened, and there HE was!   Tall, dark and handsome as ever.   He grabbed me for a quick hug and kiss, and then I was back on the elevator, and He was off to finish his errands.   Such a shame I had to work through lunch.   Oh, but that overtime will be SWEET!  

10/1/2006 9:48:36 PM

HE opened the door, and literally grabbed the front of my blouse and pulled me into the house.   He hugged me so long and so hard, that for a moment, I couldn't breathe.   It just felt so wonderful seeing him again, touching him again, and feeling his lips on mine.

Reunions can be so sweet!    Till tomorrow!  

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