Belkinn

Male Dominant, 33, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Male Dominant, 41, Aurora, Colorado

Male Dominant, 45, Los Angeles, California

On my way to work yesterday, while battling the heavy wind pressing my car about the freeway, I noticed a truck full of stickers expressing various strong oppinions. I try to ignore bumperstickers, but I've had too many years of reading, and frankly I'm too curious. My eye came to rest on a "Yes on 8" sticker that included a little stick figure family -- Two tall figures, one with a skirt and two little figures. Prop 8, is a proposed same-sex marriage ban. I laughed -- because I don't wear pants. I wear kilts (mostly Utilikilts), which are essentially skirts; so, if I had longer hair I could be the figure they had intended to be female. It's no wonder that conservative people are confused when they meet me. "Are you Irish?" they ask. "Do you mean Scottish?" I return. ? "Oh, yes, of course. Are you Scottish?" "No, I'm not Scottish". "Do you play the bag pipes?" "No, I don't play music, but I like to sing in the shower sometimes". "Are you part of some club?" "I'm in a reading club, we are reading 'The Life of Pi', it's about a tiger and a boy trapped in a life raft". Blank stares usually result in me wondering if I'll need to call 911 to report a 'possible aneurysm'. Not wanting to cause any more harm, I usually blurt: "Really, I just hate pants". As I was passing the bumpersticker laden truck it struck me that we need to have tolerance in order to have freedom. Any expression of intolerance is repressive. I'm sure someone else said it before me, but I realized it's truth at that moment. Before someone gets their conservative panties all bound up, I'm not talking about those things we all agree need to be intolerable -- for the sake of civility: rape, murder, abuse, people who take cuts, talk on cellphones at the movies or bring more than 30 items to the 10 item express line. However, I find that I'm not able to endure those who are intolerant of other's sexuality and sexual practices. As long as consentual adults are enjoying themselves, we should not only be tollerant of those practices, but supportive, because all freedom is important, including sexual freedom. I haven't always felt free to express my polyamorous or sexual ways. I know that there are many people who are not tolerant of sex in general, let alone the sexual practices I have bonded with. I think this is a ruse, that many people have sex, enjoy it and that many even have kinky sex, in the confines of their closets -- all while feeling guilty. They climax, stop touching each other, stop touching themselves, wash their hands, and then go back to being intolerant of sex. Because of this I rarely feel that I can't express my sexual practices when it's appropriate in conversation. I figure if someone hasn't done the things I do, they have thought about it, so, I'm glad to be a good example of how to do it without the guilt. Not feeling comfortable expressing my polyamourous ways, on the other hand, can feel painful. It's funny that the simple things about it bother me the most: not feeling able to share the close non-sexual moments that I have had with someone special to my heart, not holding hands, touching, or sharing even an innocent kiss without wondering if someone will see,? those are the things I find so frustrating. I'd rather not fear anything. I don't fear wearing unique clothing or talking about sex. Why should I fear the way I love? So, long ago I decided that I'd rather bare my true nature and shoulder the conflicts with friends and relitives that might result. I'd rather live as an example, feeling free to do as I will, and to not fret, worry, or be afraid to love the way I like. I'm certainly not perfect at it yet, but it's a growing strength. Life is too short to argue about things we aren't willing to give up, like our freedom. I think we all should be prepared to smile and tell the intolerant, "the wind is quite sufficient today, you should go fly a kite."

Had a great evening last night, my special friend and her boyfriend came over, we at pizza, drank beer and watched fun movies. I really like how the four of us get along, we are building a great dynamic that is energizing and is comforting to me. The women are often quiet, he and I can be pretty boisterous, goofy, loud,? and generally conversationally demanding (he cracks me up -- I dig witty people and he's one of the few guys I get along well with). I like it best when the girls say something out of the blue. Both of them are brilliantly sharp and know how to completely stop us in our tracks. You can practically hear the train wreck and often it takes a while for us to stop laughing and pick up the lost conversation. Way fun. After, we talked about what we liked about the movies then they went home so my wife and I could rest up for Saturday fun. I often wonder what it would be like to have more than one partner living in the same house with me. I know at this point my wife likes her solitude, and I understand that. However, I think it would be great to have another person or two about, especially one that you are very close to. Sure, there would be all the hassles of having room mates, but I think the benefits would be grand! Perhaps I'll explore that in the future, if not in my life, in more writing.

Collarme has proven to be an interesting site. I'm hoping to make more friends here and have interesting conversations! I don't want to sound like I'm bragging, but I feel like the luckiest guy and it makes me want to shout it out to the world. I'm married to a sweet woman who's always been my passionate friend. We have been perfect for each other since the very beginning. We've lived an open relationship from the start some 16 years ago and have explored our sexuality with open minds. I also have a great friend. We have had an ardent friendship for just over a year. She's quietly exceptional and very important to me. I'm looking forward to seeing how our friendship grows over the years. The three of us get along smashingly, what more could anyone want out of life?

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