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Male Dominant, 38, Makati
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Male Dominant, 30, London
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Male Dominant, 52, San Diego, California
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About beg4mercyMore
My friend, Chris, who has known me for over a decade used to watch the demise of my bad relationships. The boyfriend would try to control me, put me down, and I would argue and try to make it work. Eventually, I would stop arguing... I would smile and nod... I would say, "You are ABSOLUTELY right.". It was the calm before the storm and Chris knew it. I was sick of bowing down and I was about to fight back. That little fizzle that is heard as the wick burns towards the big pile of dynamite...? Same thing. No one wanted to be around when I finally snapped.
To be honest, I am actually a nice person; considerate, caring, loyal...
I have been in relationships with people who bullied me physically, but I was well able to cause other types of scars when I wanted to. There are probably exes of mine who will be in therapy for years trying to figure out what I actually did. Even I couldn't tell you what I did; only that I have some uncanny ability to elicit life-long emotional scars when the situation calls for it.
Over the years, however, being a nice person has had a nasty habit of turning around and biting me in the ass. There are many on this site who may enjoy feeling a good chunk of their ass-cheek gnawed off, but I am not one of those people. I had only ever seen people hurt others for the sake of HURTING them, and the recipient was NOT enjoying the pain, so I prided myself on being non-violent and peace-loving. I had to endure being hurt and pissed off, without any sort of outlet...
Then I met Richard. I watched my aunt beat the crap out of him and, as it was in my nature, I took pity on the poor, bleeding boy-at first. I then started to realize that he was thoroughly enjoying the beating. My 'When in Rome' attitude took over and I joined in, breaking my fair share of wooden spoons over his cute, bleeding bum. We had kissed in the past, and I had taken the 'nails in the back' thing further than I ever had, even during insanely good sex... This boy liked pain, and I was beginning to realize I enjoyed CAUSING him pain. What can I say? I AM a people-pleaser...ish....
That was a couple of years ago, and through more experience with the scene and the guidance of some of the more experienced, key players, I have begun to feel more at home with the whole idea of telling boys what to do, and even being mean about it- hell, why not? They really do seem to like it!! So do I.
You actually read this? Off to a good start. Now use the word "pug" at the beginning of your message to me so I actually know that. And BE ORIGINAL!!!! I am dressed as a schoolgirl ffs! Stand out or be deleted. NOBODY has that much free time. |
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