Why does writing one of these feel just like that dream I have where I'm sitting in class taking a test and I suddenly realize I'm naked and don’t know the answers?

I'm 34 years old, single, and submissive...or at least I have submissive tendencies that I'm dying to explore. I'm a big girl, but I don't call myself a "BBW" because I really loathe that term...who decides what beauty is? I'm not hideous, but I for one don't consider myself beautiful...just an average girl.

I have pictures but I choose not to post them here since I work in a conservative office and don't choose to advertise all aspects of my life. A photo will get you one, but please...as much as I may appreciate a nice c*ck I don't want to see one when I open my e-mail.

I'm both liberal and conservative...liberal in that I believe everyone has a right to be happy in whatever form that may take as long as no one is harmed by it, but conservative in my own life...mostly. I choose not to be in a poly relationship, so am not looking for a couple. I've explored my bicurious side and found that women just don't do it for me, so I'm also not looking for a woman. And finally, I'm not looking for a "switch".

So what AM I looking for? A man, between the ages of about 25-45. I'm not a cougar on the prowl, nor am I looking for a daddy. I don't need anyone to take care of me. I might not be rich, but I pay my own bills, and buy what I want or live without it. I want someone who is naturally dominant and is willing to introduce me to my submissive side. While I do want to push my limits, I would like to ease into this. However there are a few things I'm sure I would NOT like...no golden showers, no pain for the sake of it, nothing that leaves a scar, and I'm not interested in multiple sexual partners, although play in a scene without sexual contact does sound intriguing.

I'm not perfect and I'm not expecting perfection. Since I'm very new to this...as in I've read but never done, I'd like a few vanilla meetings before things progressed. I’ll stress the meeting part…sex will happen in its own time and pace, and when both people want it, but it will NOT happen immediately.

I don't get offended so I'll answer questions freely, although I will admit to being shy...talking online is always a thousand times easier than talking face to face, but when I'm asked a question I will answer it honestly and to the best of my ability. I realize that this is quite a list of demands for a so-called submissive, but my philosophy is that submissive does not equal doormat. I will continue working and functioning in the outside world, and I will have opinions that are different from my partner’s. I will express those opinions, but unless it’s something illegal or that I feel especially passionate about, I will most likely give control of any decision making to said partner.