AZFlyGirl

Open to the possibilities...

I've always been the type who communicates til I'm blue in the face...no matter the subject, I like to talk it through. One can only try to convey a message in so many ways before you realize you are beating a dead horse. Some people choose to either ignore those messages, are self-absorbed, or simply don't care...whatever the reason, those are the same people who will live a very lonely life and wake up wishing they would have made different choices.

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I've become open to this process and the lifestyle. I've become comfortable with what I seek and what I'm looking for in a relationship and I refuse to let fear get in my way of what I'm deserving. This time, I am playing for keeps. I want it all...a bestfriend, a lover, a confidant, an equal, and a master. I've learned so much on my own from reading, researching, and talking to others and what I know to be true with regards to the dynamics of this lifestyle is that TRUST, honesty, respect, and COMMUNICATION are the KEY ingredients to a successful relationship.? I'm looking for someone who is capable of expressing how they feel with actions along with words. Words are meaningless when actions tell a different story. For the first time in my life, I'm going to be selfish. I know that I am the best thing to ever walk into someones life and when I meet the man that realizes this, he just might be the one I'm willing to give all of me. I know without a doubt, he will never be happier. We will laugh and cry and explore, experience and ultimately, love unconditionally. I know for a fact, he will wake up every day and wonder how he got so lucky because he found the one woman he was meant to be with. No longer are the days of allowing men to come in and out of my life only to have them make poor choices and regret their mistakes later. I am ready for a man who knows from day one that his life just got better the day he met me and that I'm unique and special. Someone who can't wait to race home and tell me about his day and want to know about mine...after all, isn't that what a relationship is about?

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If such a person never crosses my path, my life will still be complete because I will have loved with great depth, at least once in my lifetime and have been the recipient of a love equally as deep. I'm hoping that one day, there might be a second great love which exceeds any love I've known before.? I've had many disappointments in life and have experienced heartbreak. I've been introspective, as of late, and realize that when the time comes, I will know when the right person walks into my life. Until then, I will continue to do what I've always done...loving who I am and enjoying those I care about. It really is the the free & simple things in life such as laughter, freedom, and friendship that make me whole. My family and friends and my love for life, adventure, and continuous growth, are enough to sustain me.

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Mullett

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I proudly say I had made it through 46 years of my life without ever coming close to having a mullet until today. I must say, it's bad enough when a guy has one but when a girl has one, well let's just say "it aint purty".? My roommate, who assumes that because he is an amazing cook, that he surely would be a natural beautician solely for the mere fact that he is gay. As he explained to me as he cut my hair, "it's in his DNA". Needless to say, he never went to beauty school, let alone cut anyones hair before, including his own. A Chinese Crested dog officially has a better hairdo than I. Luckily for me (and him) we laughed so hard at the mess which has now become my hair. I've always had an obscene amount of thick, long hair which is no longer the case. I spent two hours trying to add layers to the mullet just to get it to blend in. Depending on which way the wind blows, will determine the degree of mullet(ness) will be obvious. I've lost 50% of my hair but on a happier note, I think I lost a pound as well.

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My humor has always been my saving grace, and although I may avoid mirrors for the next couple of months and hats are my new best friend, I still had a great time and laugh, even at my expense....and how could I complain about a free haircut? The next time something doesn't turn out quite the way you had hoped, remember that one day, down the road, you will laugh at it and realize, it was really no big deal.

Silence (an erotic tale)

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I wasn't sure what I had done, but I knew I was in trouble. Sir hadn't responded to my calls or texts and I knew it was only a matter of time before he was home and I would be facing some sort of punishment for a crime I wasn't aware that I had committed.? By lunchtime I was becoming quite alarmed, especially when I heard the front door open and then slam with such force it startled me. As I approached Daddy, I could see the look on his face wasn't pleasant and I knew this was going to be really bad. Without so much as a word, he grabbed me by my hair and pulled me into the bedroom with such force and at a pace I could barely keep. Before I knew it, I was thrown face down, stripped naked, blindfolded and tied to the four corners of the bed, legs stretched further apart then I thought possible. Prior to being blindfolded, I started to speak but was given a look that made me wisely rethink any attempt at conversation. Master walked out of the room and then quickly returned with a message. "I want you hoarse by the time I get home. I want to know that while I am working, you are here, trying in vain to scream for help, to no avail. Should you disappoint, there will be a stiff penalty, understood"? Consumed by shock and fear my response could barely be heard, "yes Sir". With that, Master was gone.

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As the day progressed, I sobbed and screamed, more from fear and finally anger. As the minutes turned into hours, I grew increasingly terrified. I began to struggle to test the strength of the restraints. Was there a possible way out? To my dismay, the ropes that bind only dug deeper with each movement and both bruises and burns were starting to appear. I thought, this time he has gone too far. What if he never comes back for me or what if something happens to him, how long would I lay here until someone finds me. What could I have done to have caused such callous behavior. Certainly it couldn't have been so bad that would justify me being left all day and possibly night or God forbid days and nights. The more I thought about all of the things that could go wrong the more fear that was instilled in me. I became so overwhelmed that I sobbed uncontrollably. My tears continued to flow for what must have been a solid hour, I cried until I had nothing left and I drifted off to sleep. When I awoke, my mind was becoming irrational. If he didn't return, and I was miraculously found, how would I explain that to the authorities and god forbid the press, if they got wind of it. The explanation, the condemnation and the humiliation would be too much to bear. Now I'm angry! Who the fuck does he think he is to put me in a position like this. Does he know the consequences of his actions should he not return. Does he know the scrutiny I would endure if I were found or even worse, never found? Would it have been so fucking difficult to simply scold or spank as opposed to this mental anguish. As the minutes ticked away, I found myself teetering between full-blown desperation and blood-spitting anger. Who the hell would do this to someone they cared about or worse yet, claim to love? I'm seething mad and he is gonna be sorry for this if or when he ever gets home!? I screamed harder and louder then I ever had. I screamed and screamed some more. My throat was raw, and the ringing in my head was becoming unbearable. I think I really expected someone, anyone to hear me but to my surprise, the only thing I heard in the end was silence.

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Late late that evening, while I lay there naked, bruised, exhausted and hopeless, I hear the door slam. Sir's voice piercing through the silence, "you better have done as I have instructed or you are gonna wish you had" to which I replied "Yes Sir, I did" and to my surprise, not a peep came out of my mouth. I cried in relief. As he entered the room, he asked if I had obeyed, in which I spoke, to no avail. A smile crossed my Master's face. I wasn't sure if he was more pleased at my obedience or the fact that he would have a reprieve from my endless chatter, if only for an evening. He left the room and I waited and then, I heard the television go on for what seemed like hours. I felt satisfied and yet not. Was he happy or not? Why didn't I let him have it when I had him in the room, oh yeah, I couldn't speak.

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Later that evening, just before the sunrise, Daddy reentered the bedroom and spoke. "You have been such a good girl and have pleased me greatly, now you will get your reward". With that, he untied me, rubbed and kissed my burned & bruised wrists and ankles. He massaged my sore, stiff body and then gently guided me off the bed. He directed me to kneel in front of him, and allowed me to pleasure his cock until he came. I was soaking wet and more turned on then I had ever been. I could feel my pussy swelling as my desire to orgasm was too much. I looked up, "Daddy, please may I cum" to which he simply replied "yes, you may". I could see the love in his eyes and I never felt more proud. "You are such a good little slut and I'm proud to own you. I asked something of you that many others could not or would not have given and it only shows me the level of obedience and submission you are committed to". With those words, I never felt so loved or more complete as I had in that moment.

I realized as we laid in bed, he hadn't been mad at all, he merely wanted to see how I responded to his demands. As he held me in his arms, Sir looked at me in a way that always took my breath away and kissed me with such passion and gratitude for my submission and I knew at that moment, I was the luckiest sub in the world.

A fork in the road...

Sometimes when you least expect it, you come across a fork in the road and the choice of which is the right direction for you can be blurred, confusing, and overwhelming. Before you choose it is important to reflect on where you came from and where you want to go.  Has the journey, which has been your life thus far been rewarding enough to lead you down the path to the left which will continue with a variety of outcomes. One outcome may be that things remain status quo and changes are never made, yet the comfort of all that you have known keeps you there as a security blanket from all that is unknown. Another outcome might be that changes are made, by one or more persons and the dynamics of this relationship are better than before. There is forgiveness, passion, and love and all that it entails and your life may be more satisfying than you ever thought possible. Finally, there is the final option. Should you continue on this path where no one budges, forgiveness and hurt is never resolved and the only thing that lives is bitterness and resentment. A life in which you're 'used to' and one that you've only ever known. Ask yourself if you are willing to work for or risk any of these three outcomes.

There is one other thing to consider, before you make your choice... the road to the right...This road has been a journey of firsts on so many levels. Could this really have been your first real love or is it possible that the road to the left, is truly your first real love? Is this road the one that will take you to new places. Places where you love deeper, where you love purer, where there is no anger, no resentment, no baggage. Will this path take you down a road to unconditional love. So far, it appears this way but in your mind you must realize, in every relationship, the beginning is always the sweetest, the most romantic, and it's when everyone is on their best behavior. Can you see down this road? Is this a road that could continue to bring you joy and laughter and love or could this road lead to heartache, loneliness and broken dreams?

Each path has it's risks for happiness and heartache. Follow your heart and you will wind up in the arms of the one you were meant to be with. Never doubt your choice, and never look back. Only time will tell if your choice is the right one.