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? While I'm sure there are plenty here looking to participate in D/s theatre - I'm not one of them.? I'm interested in submissive women who understand themselves and seek the consuming passion of a one-on-one interaction.

? Those who seek public play or BDSM performance art with its various accoutrements should move on - plenty here will offer you sport.? I'm interested in women who trance during conversation, who enter sub-space when their hair is pulled, women who respond to command, to subtlety and to the head-fuck.

? Don't waste my time by approaching me if you're feeling damaged.? Engagement requires character, imagination, intelligence and an awareness of your own integrity.

  By testing a woman, a man discerns whether she's grown up and become an adult or is still fundamentally a child.


  In every case, her reactions betray her.

The fragile nature of some people's ego is truly astonishing.  A little hint:  If you take offense at the slightest opportunity, you're probably too paranoid to be involved in a relationship with a normal human being.

At first glance, the tendency for people to use their journal as a platform to lecture others on the failings of their profiles might reflect a genuine desire to help.

More probably, it's a distinction drawn purely in an attempt to emphasise their own sense of superiority.  I know for a fact, it's a partial motivation behind my last journal entry.

In observing that, I couldn't help but feel this entry had suddenly become incredibly meta.

  I sometimes wonder if some are just congenitally unable to realise that they'll always be judged on how they present themselves and how they behave.


  If you think of your CollarMe profile as a first impression, it should be obvious that the content of that profile is always going to raise associations in people's minds.


  A few simple rules of thumb.  If you want someone to engage with you seriously - as opposed to using you as a cumslut - then:


  * Avoid pictures of vagina.  There's nothing interesting about something which everyone gets to see.  It also tends to telegraph that vagina is the only thing you think you have to offer - some guys might enjoy chicks with low self-esteem, but they're generally not men with any degree of self-respect.


  * Likewise with you chowing down on some guy's cock.  We pretty much figure that if you're a grown woman, you've actually had sex at some time.  We don't really need photographic evidence.


  * Learn the difference between erotic and vulgar.


  Of course, if you're into objectification, humiliation or being the centre of attention at BukkakeFest 2012, then knock yourself out.  If not, consider the merits of a little subtlety.  You'd be surprised at how effective it can be.

    That human beings are more similar than we realise - or indeed care to know - is well established and yet I'm surprised by the consistency with which this lesson is continually hammered home by the reality of experience.

  Even within the necessarily constrained paradigm of BDSM, basic human drivers and motivations continually win out over more complex constructs.

  Sex, validation, politics.  The same games played out by participants our society would consider outliers.  (Well.  Ostensible outliers.  Unless this arena has suddenly become mainstream and I've just neglected to notice.)

  While some western societies worship and enshrine the individual, the cold hard reality is that individuality is more an idea than a reality.  Sooner or later you see the same personalities repeating themselves in different bodies.  Although, interestingly enough - they often repeat in similar bodies.

  Contrary to the notion that we're all individuals is the ease with which we band together in various tribes - the tribes of mainstream American politics being the most ironic, devoid of individuals who can think for themselves.  And when you toss our shared psychology into the mix, the possibility of true individuality starts to seem very remote.

  And yet - it happens.  Occasionally we witness that spark of life which defies the common wisdom - the unruly yet slow intelligence of the herd.  Those who dare to be different, who go their own way because it's just who they are - not because they seek to define themselves in opposition to the mainstream.

  Those people can claim individuality - the rest... not so much.