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Female Submissive, 29, Lisbon
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About atsukasa
TLDR: Neurodivergent, male but in-process-of-coming-out trans MtF, discovering newfound sexuality. Golden-retriever-esque sub/bottom, looking specifically for D/s exploration with dominant males, trans individuals, and couples, but willing to talk with anyone that would want to help me in this exploration.
Late 30s male-by-birth, been in the scene for only a few years. Joining kink has been part of a mental journey for me beyond just kink, which has overturned many parts of my life. This has included recent neurodivergent diagnoses, (base-level AuDHD) and very-recently starting to more-publicly be out as trans. (currently working on starting medical side as well)
It/its, or he/him, depending on the group I'm with. Exploring some feminine pronouns in kink settings, but not prioritizing it. (I'm going through transitioning weird)
Up until very recently I called myself a vanilla ace and kink pan, but coming out partially was spurred by reorienting myself mentally, and discovering those urges do actually exist, they've just been masked by gender dysphoria. In some senses, I'm literally just understanding what other people are talking about when they talk about getting aroused. It's kinda annoying when it's a new sensation to you.
In kink, I'm 95% sub and bottom. The nexus of everything I'm attracted to in BDSM is around control and pleasure. I find heavy bondage, restraints, and physical domination to be incredibly-relaxing, and happily-melt to dominance of most kinds.
Heavy oral fixation, I always want something in there. The only times I appear at all dominant is when I can give pleasure to a partner, and I can get a bit carried away.
I want to be dominated into a subby mess, begging for my holes to be allowed to give you pleasure. I want to do chastity play with someone, but I haven't had a partner that I can meet frequently-enough with where I would feel comfortable. Partially because I worry about how submissively-horny that could make me.
I'm also heavily-influenced by verbal and mental play. Humiliation and degradation are almost affirmative to me as power plays, and I equally-melt to praise. I really want to explore mental play much more.
Bullet-points of the more banal things, and other things I should put on here:
- I work in the conventions and broadcast space, so I travel weekends frequently.
- Currently 265 and losing steadily, down from 315, been having success with GLP-1s.
- Poly, no vanilla partners, two D/s partners, one semi-long-distance and one semi-paused due to life reasons. The second partner may wish to vet.
- Madison-based, can travel regionally. I likely cannot host in the short-term, but should be able to medium-term.
- Being penetrated is fine, encouraged even, but me penetrating is a bit of a soft limit, I wouldn't expect it except in a couple specific play scenarios. (one of the realizations that reinforced being trans)
- STD-less, last tested early-year. (also not really sexually-active historically) Would ask the same from any sexual play partners.
There's other things I've explored, and am interested in exploring. Reach out if you want to chat.
Or if you know the cat. Or if you know what the cat's holding.
Or if you want to help someone who is just starting transitioning.
idk how else to end this |
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Haven't been around for a while - the profile has ... kinda changed a lot in the last couple of years. (or will change, I don't fully understand the approvals process here) If you looked in the past, there might be a few changes...
At least now I feel like I understand why I had some of the preferences I had a couple of years ago. No clue how much that'll contextually change again in another couple of years. |
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