I wanted some of those who are interested in me to sub shall be no more since it has been said to me that I am now owned by a Master by the name of Desertmed.
If anyone is interested in wanting to know anything about me it needs to go through him please.
Thank you.

Within my two worlds of war and blood that in these veins I hold the answers.
Faces blank surrounding me only knowing how only to survive and breath in this place.

Cross is of death and survival.
Battlefield is not any different.
So much confusion or hurt.

Such innocent green fields of wildflowers around us yet in a split second the freedom we yearn for costs so much and not in dollars.
Those green fields and flowers now tainted with the evil of our own demons.

My Cross started clean and now spurted with my own sacrifices.
My Battlefield is still out there defending others' rights for inside their veins will the answers flow instead of their blood.

Tell me not to worry.
Tell me not to cry.
Tell me Joy won't go away
Promise dreams don't die.

Tell me that I'm pretty
Tell me not to frown
Tell me I'm not ugly
Promise I can stand my ground.

Tell me that I can
Tell me that I should
Tell me to always stand
Promise you knew I could.

Tell me death won't live
Tell me life won't die
Tell me to take what I give
Promise you'll teach me to try.

Tell me where my future ends
Tell me of later plans
Tell me where the road bends
Promise to tell me what you can.

Walking on tyme as wine flow from my veins. Many things come my way and feels as a roller coaster through hardening days.

Black and Blue are the winter days to describe the bruises I've seen.

Black and Blue is the nightmare I wake up to and the finger of my demon leading me to a harsher reality.

While I lay here pondering the world's sins and mistakes.
Thin blue tears bring puddles from underneath my pale-moon feet as my hands are in the prayer position.

Black and Blue are the only colors in this big world.

Black and Blue is where I have belonged since the day I arose walking on stars.

The mirror's in my eyes tell me of your hurt, but its Black and Blue that belongs in the palms of our hands.

To laugh is to risk appearing the fool.
To weep is to risk appearing sentimental.
To reach out for another is to risk involvement.
To expose feelings is to risk exposing your true self.

To place your ideas, your dreams before the crowd is to risk their loss.
To love is to risk not being loved in return.
To live is to risk dying.
To hope is to risk despair.
To try is to risk failure.

But, risks must be taken, because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.
People who risk nothing do nothing,
have nothing, are nothing.
They may avoid suffering and Sorrow, but they simply cannot learn, feel, change, grow, love,...live.
Chained by their certitudes, they are slaves; they have forfeited freedom.
Only people who risk are free.

I dreamnt I was being chased by dark angels.
I fled to the mirror in the sky,
where shoes move without feet and the emerald circle is seen in the morning light.
I lay there soaked in my blood and tears while she whispers in my ear she was an angel of mercy.
I cried the bloody tears of a thousand souls,
Innocent or not whose to say?
It started to rain,
To wash away my sins of immorality.
But instead of getting wet, I grew dry until I shriveled and died
I am reborn again into the life of a butterfly.
I get caught and am put into a glass jar.
The sweltering sun grows even hotter and my wings melt and drip like candle wax.
I shut my butterfly eyes and all stands still,
I float on the horizon of time and reality.
All is lost and forgotten.
I never am,
never was,
never will be
Again.

Dear Journal,

For years as I've grown up having to face another strange and difficult day knowing in a way in what I want and then again rather just leave it up to fate. At first I was getting fed up with being told what to do and having to make sacrifices to the point where no one noticed to even thank me for what I did...in the end, life really doesn't give a fuck what you do or how you do it. Just as long as you can bend over and grab ur fucking ankles to get "its" way then everything is just peachy. There are just people out there who would do anything from their sub concious idiotcy as their common sense gets thrown out the fucking window. Yea you may think I am just babbling but someday you'll finally understand what it means.
Basically what I'm saying is People don't give a fuck about eachother unless they're getting something out of it. Right? In a way, we're all slaves, we're all a person who spends most their day pretending to be someone else like some secret agent trying to impress the next dame they can fuck wildly. As if that matters. I have been raped more than seven times, survived a four year coma, witnessed 18 suicides and three murders, been abused by my grandfather who is a retired marine, been homeless for five years which in fact saying I am a survivor. Only because those who were in front of me that caused those wild actions to happen I had to. Either it was me or them and you know, doesn't really take much for a person like me to literally snap to the point where it'd be a first time for murder and the point of serious pain!!! I have a temper like no other and right now am really not sure why I am on this site maybe because I want a lil fun and see how far you'll go just to "be the boss" since the boss at work keeps pounding you hour by hour until the work just gets to be too much so you decide to inflict pain on others. yea I like that idea. I myself put someone in the hospital and on instant SSI all because he wanted to humiliate me so I stomped his bottom jaw practically off his face!! And I liked it!