anovelanomaly

 I would like to share my philosophy on how I think a D/s relationship works or at least ideally how it should work. If reading this, please keep in mind, it is only my opinion. I am very well aware that there are a good many ways to view the way both people interact but here is how I see it:

 I (the submissive) would absolutely do everything in my power to keep you (the Dominant) happy at every moment of every day but that willingness comes from love not fear. This is why I am having problems with the men who wish to collar me on day one. I do not love you yet. However, this really isn't about one person, for without the submissive the Dominant is nothing and vice versa. I tend to think of it like the sun and the moon. When the world turns, if we did not have the other, we would be plunged into blackness for a better part of the day. Without our other half, we are in the dark, constantly searching for that one who makes us whole.

 I also believe, at least the last time I checked, that I was a human. I will not judge submissives would think they are sub-human nor Dominants who think those they own are somehow less than themselves. I don't see it so much as servitude as submission and a desire, a craving if you will, to please. Therefore, I do not want to be treated as anything less than human. If I am yours, then truly you are also mine, albeit in a different way but still eternally connected.

 I see the Dominant's role being to care for, cherish and protect his submissive. He should know her fears and limitations and therefore she should not have to say no for he will never push her to far. After she is able to place this trust in him, it is quite easy for her to focus solely on pleasing him for she has no other worries in the world for she has found he who will hold her dear and look out for her best interests while being kept happy and content himself.

 Beyond that, I think the sexual part of BDSM are fluff. For instance, if the Dominant is a sadist and the submissive is not a masochist or not even pain tollerant, chances are the two won't fit. This does not make one less of a Dom or the other a fake sub. It simply means that the fluff does not match. One wants to control and protect and one wants to submit and please. I really believe it is that simple.

If there are any comments to what I have written I will be more than happy to hear from you and read them. I always like to learn other's persepectives, even if at the end we've gotten no further than to agree to disagree.

Be well and thank you for reading.