Angelyssa

Female Submissive, 40

Female Submissive, 32, Wayne, New Jersey

Submissive Couple, 39

Online social networking is a wonderful thing in terms of meeting and connecting with others who share our interests, dreams, desires, goals, lifestyles and fantasies.? Whether it's cooking, Nascar, or fetish play, there's something out there for everyone. There is - or should be - an etiquette to such contact, though.? Meeting online is different from meeting casually in a park or at a party. You have to make decisions based on a person's mental image of themself and how they present their assets and flaws. No hints or distractions from pheremones or body chemistry. It's reminiscent of the days of pen pals, or mail order brides.? What you know about the person is what they choose to share, through words and photos.? On occasion, you might encounter someone who's met this new friend, but with the shifting identities available through this interface, even that can't be certain. We initially connect through profiles or forums. Some initial statement (or image) catches our interest, and we build from there. The next step is chatting - email, instant messaging, conversation through forums or the networking site.? This gives us the chance to delve deeper into shared areas of interest, talk about life in general, share photos as appropriate, and learn more about the give and take of each others' mind.? It's still a "safe" period, because, if something *does* go wrong, or an insurmountable difference of opinion arises, you can break off contact with minimum trauma. The next step is phone contact and personal meetings.? This really is a big step, because it's become "real".? To break away from this contact can require, in the worst cases, moving and changing your phone number - an inconvenience at best!? It's not a step you should take quickly or without thought. On the positive side, though, it's exciting and stimulating to know that you've made it "real", that you're ready for the next level of communication!? This is a step that's easy to take in some context, like in gardening or sewing groups who swap materiels.?? For dating, though, we're giving of ourselves, and that's much more risky emotionally. If the person with whom you're trying to build a trusting, communication based relationship is hesitant to move to this level, don't push it. That's absolutely the worst thing you could do in terms of showing your sincerity.? It's a guarantee that if your behavior becomes insulting because someone's not ready to meet, you'll find yourself labeled as exactly what you're showing yourself to be - a fraud. Frauds, fakes, players - these are people who are *not* looking for real interaction, real sincere interrelationships, real connection. They are the ones who are keeping score, who want to brag to their buddies or their girlfriends about how many phone numbers or "dates" they got that week. Their self esteem is non-existant and any sense of worth is based solely on abusing the trust of others. And they're the ones who've made it hard for everyone else to trust the connections.? How do you spot these? Saying "no" to a meeting after chatting for a few messages (or a few days!) does not make one a fake.? Insisting on a meeting after such minimal contact and becoming insulting when declined, does. Refusing to give out hard contact information (phone, address) on short acquaintance again doesn't identify a fraud, but pressing for it after polite refusal, does. If someone tells you plainly they're not comfortable taking the next step, it doesn't mean they're playing you. If meeting this person is important to you, take time to build the trust necessary to progress in your relationship. On the other hand ... if you really don't feel comfortable with what you've learned of a person, be up front about it.? Tell them honestly that you're uncomfortable, if you think it might be a misunderstanding. If communication has taken a turn which you find unpleasant or unacceptable, tell them you really don't think it'll work out, thank them for their time and honesty, and say good bye. If they persist, block their address from contacting you, and delete, don't open, and don't reply to any further communication. It's good to set both goals and limits for yourself in many areas of life.? Don't let anyone stop you from achieving positive goals, and don't let anyone push you into breaking your own healthy limits!

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