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It really makes me laugh when people post pretty much their entire kink lives on here, and other fetish sites, then they complain about so called 'drama' when others post on their lives and what they have experienced! Even worse is when they post a rant, or bitch and moan about people ( of course they never name names lol) then they remove the post a day or two later. If you feel strongly enough to post it then fucking leave it there and have the courage of your own convictions........ or maybe they just want to create some of the drama they claim to be against! |
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I had my first taste of cupping last night at a new event. I have to say it was a strange experience........ but definitely one I want to try again... and again....... and again...... lol. |
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People sometimes ask me why I appear cynical and find it hard to believe what I see and read on this, and other sites. This is an example of why...... you chat to someone on here via messages, then you arrange a Skype/video chat so you can verify you are both who you say you are, the day that chat is due to happen you find the other person no longer has an active profile and therefore cannot receive any more messages from you!
Me, suspicious?
Cynical?
Find it hard to trust people?
Damn right!!!! |
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I pop on to CM now and then to see what is happening, chat to friends and maybe meet new ones.. I like viewing pics and reading profiles, what I DON'T like however, is to refresh my page and then be staring at some random guys cock!! Why is it that men are so inordinately proud of what is between their legs? Why do they feel the need to flash it at any opportunity? Trust me,if I want to see a penis then I will see one, just don't push it in my face ( as it were) unannounced! |
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Karma is a wonderful thing to see! The true nature of people will always come out! |
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It isn't often that I post a journal entry these days, there is nothing I really want to comment on. However, I really do have to say that reading the Dom profiles, most of them appear deluded! Filled with grand expectations, and never ending rhetoric of what they expect from, as yet, unknown subs, yet offer nothing really about themselves and what they offer to any prospective sub. My advice? Give something of yourself, be real and you might be surprised at the results...... But what do I know lol! |
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Sometimes you just have to stop and ask yourself one question .................. "What the ACTUAL fuck?" |
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I absolutely get that some people don't want to put a pic of themselves on sites such as this. Often work/friends/family don't know about this side of some folks lives, so yeah, I get the privacy thing. What I don't get however, is a profile with no location, interests, description, no personality, in fact, nothing! Then you expect to get responses from messages, sorry but no! I don't respond to such anonymous people...... For all I know it could be someone telling fibs ( big shok huh?) |
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Sometimes I really just wonder! |
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Just because I speak my mind and will not compromise my beliefs that I deserve to be loved by someone who wants me and only me, doesn't make me a hard ass, it makes me someone you should get to know! |
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Sometimes, when you give up on someone, it isn't because you don't care anymore............... it's because you realise that they don't! |
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It's very simple really............ if I don't value myself then I can't expect anyone else to. With that in mind, if you aren't honest with me, if you think that I am up for some 'no strings fun', if you are looking for a fuck buddy, if you have a wife or partner and think I'll be hanging around waiting until you can fit me in, then think again. Any man worth his salt WANTS a sub who has self esteem and knows her own value. |
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Having a lot of fun just lately........... I may just stick around for a while lol. |
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Had a fantastic early birthday party on Friday, followed by a great day on Sunday having new pictures taken. Thanks to my bestest friends SirBstard and Bstardsbitch. |
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I may well be running the risk of getting bombarded with messages but I think my mail on here isn't working. I haven't received any new mail in almost 2 weeks............... that is very odd. |
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When will people EVER learn that this is a very small community and the people within it talk to each other! If you are a fake/wannabe you WILL be found out!! |
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I'm cooking dinner for two of my bestest friends on Sat night, a dinner party for three is not a good number. Anyone for a three course meal of dips and crudites, stuffed chicken breasts with herb potatoes, veg and a roasted red pepper sauce, followed by white chocolate and lime cheesecake? All home made by moi! Lol xx |
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On my way to London for a weekend of fun and frolics!! Wooo hooo xx |
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The UK is over 94,000 square miles.......... so putting UK, UK as your location doesn't help much! |
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Ok so here I am, strong, independent, loud and vocal. I'm also funny, warm, loving and loyal. I'm single and unattached, that means no vanilla partner, no play partner, no part time Dom etc. I would dearly love to meet like minded people local to me, and hopefully eventually meet someone who 'gets' me and will one day share my life...... are YOU out there? xxx |
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When you are strong enough to love yourself 100%, good and bad - you will be amazed at the opportunities that life presents you!
There comes a time when you have to stand up and shout:
This is me damn it! I look the way I look, think the way I think, feel the way I feel, love the way I love! I am a whole complex package. Take me... or leave me. Accept me - or walk away! Do not try to make me feel like less of a person, just because I don't fit your idea of who I should be and don't try to change me to fit your mould. If I need to change, I alone will make that decision. |
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Why is it that almost every time I log in I see at least one Dom profile where they are whining about subs who don't answer messages, or block them? For heaven sake, man up and stop whinging like little girls! If the subs in question don't reply or block you, then really they aren't right for you anyway, are they?
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"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control, and at times I'm hard to handle, but if you can't handle me at my worst, you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best" - Marilyn Monroe
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I've never been much of a masochist as I'm not into pain for pains sake, something which became very evident when I slipped and fell downstairs at home this morning! I put out my left hand (I'm a leftie) to save myself and ended up in a heap at the bottom of the stairs. My hand began to throb painfully and my thumb to swell up, movement was very limited and I cried! After a trip to A&E and an x-ray I'm happy to say that nothing is broken but I may have some ligament damage which has to be checked out on Mon after some of the swelling has gone down and it isn't as painful! Give me a flogging any day of the week, it isn't anywhere NEAR as painful!!!
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Today is the first day of my holidays, two weeks of relaxation!! I'm off to Spain for a week on Weds whoo hooo xx
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I like pretty things. I like my hair to look nice, I like my nails polished, I like pretty clothes and I like to look at nice things.
So you can imagine how I feel when I see that I've been viewed and I go to look, only to be faced with some very strange looking cock pics!!
I like cocks, don't get me wrong, but please guys if your main profile pic is going to be of your cock, then at the very least please make sure it's a PRETTY cock!
Thank you :-)
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Today is my birthday....... 46 feels very much like 45 lol!
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after
two days work (10 hours in total), scratched, scraped, skinned, cut,
bruised, lighly burnt arms and aches everywhere, I finally have most of
the garden cleared....... anyone want a shit load of tree branches???
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One week today until the next pervy event local to me, bring on the fun at Tension woooohooooo! |
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London was a lot of fun, unfortunately I didn't meet any "strange men" though it wasn't for the lack of trying lol xxx
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Off to London for a couple of days, let the fun begin xx |
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Two months and one week since I quit smoking, yayyyyyyyyy me!!!!!!
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Just updated all my pictures with new ones taken this weekend so VERY recent pics lol.
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Had a pretty good night last night at a local fet club. Chance to wear one of my new corsets and had my hair put into rope bondage, pretty cool, if somewhat heavy lol!!
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I've been off work ill for the past couple of days and it's amazing to see the kind of people who are on this, and similar sites, during the day....... have to laugh really.
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I'm soooooooooooo excited!!!! I've been shopping online and have 2 new steel boned corsets and a shiny new pvc mini skirt, wooohoooo!!!!
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This Saturday will be a month since I quit smoking and I'm extremely proud of myself!!!!
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Random gripe.......... I absolutely detest it when complete strangers call me "dear" arghhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!
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I've had some very nice comments on my new pic and the new hair colour. Thank you to those who have commented...... and to one or two people in particular, mmwwaaahhhhhhhhhh xx
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There are some very, very, very odd people on this site............ I myself, of course, am just perfect in every way lol xx
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Two weeks tomorrow since my last cigarette! I'm getting the hang of this no smoking, I think I can actually do this! Yayyyyyyy |
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It's been a week since my last cigarette! I am SO pleased and proud of myself, just wish I was a dual personality so I could be a Dom and tell myself "well done" lol xx |
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It's been 58
hours since my last cigarette. I decided about a month ago to give up
and went to see my doctor 2 weeks ago, she gave me pills called
Champix, which I started taking the day after, they take a week or so
to get into your system but I have to say they are amazing!!! So far I
have no withdrawls, no cravings... and I don't want to rip anyone's head off........... well not yet lol.
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I rarely, if ever, make new year resolutions because I rarely, if ever keep them!!! However I am making one this year, and that is to be more open to things, new ideas, new people, invitations etc, life is too short and it's for living!! Raise your glasses to the end of 2009 and welcome in 2010........ bring it on, I'm ready!!!!
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All i'm gonna say is i bought an empty friggin box and a bowl for my invisible dog!!!!!!!! xxx
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I don't understand people, I really don't. I have read SO many profile and journal entries which bemoan the fact that there are very few "real" people on this site, yet when some of these real people organise a get together and very kindly invite some local people so they can actually get to know some genuine people, what happens??? Yup, you guessed it, they all suddenly have prior engagements........ de-fleaing the dog, alphabetising their collection of porn videos, or training their online harem of "no limit" slaves.... it's all bollocks people!! Step away from the pc and get a life!
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Why is that when you mention a party around here, most people think we are all a bunch of pervs meeting up to do depraved things?!?!?!?! FFS!!! It's a PARTY people, you know.......... people, food, drink, laughs, a little thing you might remember known as FUN!!! I mean we ARE pervs yes, but that doesn't mean that we all get together and get naked, get the whips, floggers, canes, nipple clamps etc out (though come to think of it, not a bad idea hehehehe), seriously though, why do people make wild assumptions?
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I'm currently working away from home for a week and I have to say ........... staying in a hotel is not my idea of fun! The room is basic, the area is awful and I only have 5 TV channels!!! What is THAT all about lol. |
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It has to be said that most of the "Doms" here are nothing more than sad wannabes who talk the talk but can't walk the walk!! When you have been chatting to someone for a while and you get the opportunity to meet, even if it's just for a drink, why wouldn't you???? Even if you don't "click" it doesn't matter, it's only a meeting, unless of course, you have something to hide..................... hmmm?
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Week 2 and day 3 of my get fit campaign, another session at the gym has left me aching in places I didn't even know I had!!! It will be worth it though when I get fit, toned and look sooooooooooooo much better. xx
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You know some people really need to grow up!!! Ah well, moving on......... lol xxx |
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I'm really excited, on Weds I have my initial assessment with the health care professionals who are helping me to embark on a 12 week programme of exercise and healthy eating!! Over the past cpl of years I have become more and more unhealthy and gained more weight than I'd care to mention, this programme is the kick start to a new and healthier me............. watch this space!!!!  |
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I've decided not to be a victim! It strikes me that when you share your life with someone for a year and they end it in 20 mins then refuse to talk, well that says it all really.......... not going to cry over something which obviously meant so little to him! The old saying "Never make someone a priority who only makes you an option" holds very true. Now is the time for me to move on, get what I want, what I need and not settle for anything less! |
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Life takes some unexpected and sad turns ................ single again, shit happens |
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It would seem that when I drink too much wine I don't have a filter on my thoughts and if I think it, I say it lol............ oh well, thank goodness it's usually when I'm around good friends xxx |
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Had a fab party last night, great company, good time had by all ..... I love my new house and love, love, LOVE my garden  |
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Yesterday was my birthday and I can't believe that it was THAT number!! I spent the day quietly but this Saturday I'm looking forward to a house warming/birthday party with family and friends.......... just don't want any candles on a cake lol xxx |
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I moved into a new house this weekend. It's perfect! Just the right size for me and has a garden, ideal for BBQ's and a summerhouse and shed for the odd pervy party............ wooohooo |
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It's been quite some time since I posted an entry here, and to be perfectly honest it's because this site has become so full of players and timewasters it's barely worth the effort it takes to log in!! So many "collar hoppers" and sat night Doms/subs etc. Reading a few profiles today I noticed one particular sub/slave who is in yet another collar, in the past few months she has worn 3!!! Seems to me that the common denominator is the collar and not the people giving them! I used to enjoy the chats I had with people here, the varied lifestyle choices and the fun, but that seems to have disappeared, ah well.......... back to knitting fog I guess lol xxx |
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I'm getting too old for this shit every time! |
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Random rant............ how does ONLINE sadism work?? I mean what, your sooooooo scary online that subs and slaves beat themselves with razor studded floggers at the thought of you? Or maybe they ritually humiliate themselves by pissing their pants whilst sat at the pc coz the "Sadist" hasn't given them permission to go to the loo?? Ohhhh puuhhhhlleeeeeeeeeeease!!!!!!! |
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Hmmmmmmmmmmm so I received a mail from some random dom, nothing offensive, but when I replied I find he had blocked me!! Now, wtf is THAT all about lol!!!! |
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Being a sub and allowing another to 'control' you is one thing, but what about being able to control yourself? Your feelings, emotions, those times when you want to rant, rage, yell and scream for example? Is it enough to say "I'm a sub, I need control in my life"? Or are we all ultimately responsible for our own behaviour and actions?? I think we are! |
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Having a great time recently, enjoying myself and for once I have absolutely NO worries ........... though certain people can be fu**ing ba****ds at times lol xx |
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I just have to say to my good friend SirBstard......... NICE DISCO PANTS!!!! lol xx |
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Had a great time on Friday at the house party of MastermasterUK and the lovely freyasub (once again apologies for the wine glass incident but it was all Bstardsbitch's fault lol) Nice company and great food and of course lots of wine (for me anyway hic!) xxx |
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Can someone PLEASE tell me why it is that I can drive perfectly well during my lessons and then I fall apart on a test situation???? Not even a REAL test, just a mock one with my instructor!!! I think I'm destined to be a learner all my damn life!!!  |
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The time for being sad is past, whats done is done, time to move on....... so I've had an idea!! 
Are you a North East Dom? Do you have the "D/s Factor"?
I will hold auditions for a new Dom!!! Upon receipt of all applications stating your experience, expectations, age, marital staus and likes/dislikes, I will then assemble a panel of experienced judges and the short listed Doms will have to impress them. Please enclose a current pic and remember......... first impressions count!!!
LOL, well a woman can dream! xxx |
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It's been the longest winter without You
I didn't know where to turn to
See somehow I can't forget you
After all that we've been through
Goin, comin, thought I heard a knock
Who's there, no one
Thinking that I deserve it
Now I realise that I really do know
If you didn't notice, you mean everything
Quickly I'm learning to love again
All I know is, I'm gonna be ok
Thought I couldn't live without You
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
Oh yeah, it'll all get better in time
Even though I really love you
Gonna smile coz I deserve to
It'll all get better in time
I couldn't turn on the TV
Without something there to remind me
Was it all that easy
To just put aside your feelings
If I'm dreaming don't wanna laugh
Hurt my feelings but that's the path
I believe in
And I know that time will heal it
If you didn't notice boy you meant everything
Quickly I'm learning to love again
All I know is I'm gonna be ok
..... Leona Lewis, Better in Time
Thanks to my GOOD friend for making me cry lol xxx
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Happy Birthday to me!!!  |
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The party last night was a great success!!! Many thanks to the wonderful SirBstard and the gorgeous Bstardsbitch for being the perfect hosts (as always) they prepared to food and opened their home to us pervs, and they also provided birthday cake!!!
Thanks also to those who attended, for the laughs, the fun, the great company and the gifts (thankfully no anal beads *wink*)not neccessary but gratefully received it was a wonderful night and I can't wait for the next one!! |
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An open letter to "dogsbody2006"..........."Go and boil your head you silly, pathetic little loser, if the only way you can get attention from women is to mail them insults and to demand they ring you then you are in for a sad, lonely life. I have known spunk stains with more intelligence, wit, charm and reason to be on this planet than you!"
This fuckwit thinks it's clever to mail complete strangers, verbally abuse them and give his telephone number, then DEMAND that they ring him. Obviously this man is seriously deluded, and when I pointed out that fact to him (with a few carefully chosen words of my own lol ) he then indulges in a pathetic email exchange of insults......... I have better things to do with my time and life, he is blocked and I've already forgotten about his sorry ass. |
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WOOOOHOOOOO!!! Tonight is party night!!!!!!!!!!! I'm really looking forward to it and to getting together with friends to have some fun. To all of you who were invited and said you were coming then changed your minds, or said you couldn't come because you were walking the dog/washing your hair/ having brain surgery etc........... boo sucks to you, it's gonna be a GREAT night!!  xxx |
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I received the following message tonight from a so-called Dominant who I've never spoken to before.
"ring me now slut! master graham 01274 ******" ( Out of decency I've deleted the actual number )
Now call me crazy but personally I wouldn't be contacting strangers on the internet and giving out personal info...... unless I was an absolute FUCKWIT, would you??? |
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It's been suggested to me that if my ex has gone back to his previous partner who is not in the lifestyle ('nilla' for want of a better word) that perhaps he wasn't really into D/s at all? Maybe he decided to "dip his toe" in the water as it were, and finding it a bit uncomfortable has gone back to the security of what he knows. I don't know but it sort of makes sense to me, I do know this.......... no matter what upsets, disappointments and setbacks I have in this lifestyle I could NEVER go back to boring vanilla........ could you??? |
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Alright, back to my idea of a few months ago and selling myself on ebay............. or maybe some local Dominant will make me a "buy it now" offer lol!! |
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PARTY INVITE!!!!!!!!
Ok all you pervs and pervettes.......... I see and hear a lot of people on this site and in the local scene who bemoan the fact that there isn't much of a scene in the North East and it's difficult to meet local people, well here is an opportunity to do so. I have a birthday coming up soon and it's an ideal time to have a get together so, myself, SirBstard and His slave (bstardsbitch) are hosting a party!!!! There will be copious amounts of food (SirB loves to fatten up His victims....... i mean guests lol) alcohol and perhaps, if we are VERY good the chance to enjoy some general perviness.
If you know me or them, then just mail one of us and we will give you details, if you don't but are local and would like the chance to meet some people, again mail us, and even if your not local, but know us, and would like to attend, then by all means get in touch!
Come on people, get off your butts, move away from the computer and have some REAL fun........ you know you want to!! xxx |
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Big thanks to the "scary and brutal" SirBstard for my new pics, and to His slave, bstardsbitch (for her imaginative input)......... and no, i'm NOT posting THAT one lol x |
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Not going to wallow in self pity and "poor me" wails....... things don't work for a reason, so I will heal, get on with my life and hope for better times in the future. Here's to them!! |
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Why is it that just at a time when you need to sleep, when your emotional and over tired, your body decides not to let you and wakes you up at stupid o'clock??? |
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Let me make something very clear.... I'm not looking for sympathy, I'm not a victim and I'm definately NOT ready to jump into another relationship!!! Just because I'm no longer collared it doesn't mean that I'm available, I'm not, simply keeping my profile open until things get better. x |
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A collar can be placed around your neck at home, in a club, or at the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris but it still means nothing if the person placing it there has no respect for the significance of it! |
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Things have a habit of changing and usually when you least expect it. It may not be what you want or need but you have to deal with what comes......... will update later. |
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I added two new pics to my profile (right at the end of the series of pics) and CM approved them within an hour!!! I am WELL impressed!!  |
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Not interested........ i'm taking a 'time out'! |
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I've decided that i may sell myself on ebay, the ad will read something like this........ "Fiesty, fun loving, single submissive seeks single Dominant, two careless owners (well they lost me lol, that can't be too careful) will obey (sometimes) won't answer back(occassionally) will kneel (if helped to get back up) can't cook but gives a great blow job lol" ........ wonder what the bidding would start at hehehehe |
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Some people just aren't worth the time or effort it takes to tell them to f*** off lol |
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I feel a rant coming on.......... |
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This is an exerpt from a mail i received, from a guy i've NEVER talked to, and NEVER met......
".... if we met for coffee and we hit it off, would you be ok with humiliation....... and if we REALLY get on would you come back to my car and give me hand relief?"
Ok IF i met anyone for a coffee, it would be a coffee (i'm SURE i've said this before) and if you want a hand job from a stranger.... get a hooker!!! |
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So, i FINALLY get a weekend off from work and what happens?? I come down with stinker of cold and i'll be spending my weekend under a duvet with tissue, paracetemol and fluids........ if this is Karma i don't know what for lol!! |
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I was looking through my profile, updating it here and there, when i noticed that it's a little over 3 years since i joined this site. A fresh, young (ish) hopeful sub with dreams of finding the perfect Master........ now sometimes i need to be beaten with a large stick (calm down all you Sadists, it's just an expression lol) for something to sink in, but i really think that if i haven't found what i'm seeking here in 3 years, maybe it's time i hung up my leash and moved on! xx |
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It seems to me that CollarMe is fast becoming another one of those social networking sites, where all that matters is how many you have in your list of 'friends'. I can't tell you how many friends requests i get from people i don't know and have never even passed the time of day with!! To me, a friend is someone you know, you like and you talk to, not some random stranger from the net who saw your profile and decided to add you..... so, to any of you who have or intend to add me as a friend, please note ....... i will decline the invite unless you are one of my FRIENDS! Ok rant over xxx |
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Ok, will someone please stick a fork in me because i am SOOOOOO done!  |
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Finding it very hard to see out of one good eye and one very bloodshot and very painful, blurry eye lol..... on the plus side however, it does make some of the profiles on here look a little better lol!! |
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I learned a valuable lesson last night..... if you have a cat DON'T try to pick it up to protect it if it's had a fright, or it will fight with you and trust me, YOU will come off worst!! After spending the early hours of the morning in A&E I won't do that again lol. I'm now sadly the worse for wear with scratches on my hand and arm, a cut lower eyelid and a damaged left eye, which requires me to put antibiotic cream in it 4 times per day and i look like i've got some kind of nasty eye disease lol!!! |
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Alrighty then, I haven't had a rant for a little while, so here goes..........
Why is it that some Doms will contact you here and appear, to all intents and purposes pretty reasonable people? All goes well, you chat a little, exchange pleasantries and then you arrange a first meeting, a "nilla" meet.... now, I don't know about a lot of people here but for me, a first meeting is usually lunch, coffee or a swift drink in a local hostelry. Why is it then that once you arrange said meet the aforementioned 'reasonable Dom' then starts making demands?? Demands like "you will wear stockings and suspenders" or "you will be shaven when we meet" Errrrrrrr newsflash!! A nilla meet is just that NILLA!! That means, what I wear or don't wear is MY choice, if i'm shaven or not is beside the point as YOU will not be in a position to find out!!
Ok I could be wrong (and often I am) but that is NOT my idea of a nilla meet.......... rant over xxx |
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I'm backkkkkkkkkkkkkkk!!! Hehehe xxx |
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Call me crazy, call me a fool but i'm moving house........ TODAY!!!!!!!!!!! I'll be offline untill the turn of the year. Merry Christmas and a Happy and safe New Year to all my friends  (and even my enemies too lol) xxx |
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Not sure how long it takes to have pics approved these days on CollarMe but, after taking advice from a mail i received, i've removed my main pic (the one of me lying on a bed) as it looked like (and i quote) "you have 3 tits and one arm" lol............. and added a couple of other ones, which will i hope, show that i have the regular number of tits and arms ......... 2 of each hehe xx |
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Last night I was at my Christmas party from work, all I can say is.... a free bar is NEVER a good idea with work colleagues lol!! |
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Life is what happens when your busy making other plans.......... what defines us is how we handle it! xx |
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Have you ever noticed how some ideas seem really REALLY good from the bottom of a wine glass?? Lol xx |
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Browsing through the profiles of Doms on this site (as you do lol) it strikes me that a large majority are from the South of the Uk or the Midlands, it seems there are very few from the North East. I wonder if it's because the North East Doms are shy or is it that the Doms down South are more extrovert??? Ah well..... another of life's little mysteries xx |
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I decided that it was time for a change of image, and anyone who knows me will know that my hair is my BIGGEST vanity but i took the plunge and went to the hairdresser yesterday. The result?? Well 2" shorter (which is a HUGE thing for me lol) and my red hair is now no more, instead i have a brown base shade and lots and lots of blonde highlights in varying shades!!!!!! Now it's time to find out if blondes really DO have more fun hehehehe xxxx |
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Ok, Christmas is just around the corner (yikes!!!) and, working in retail (as i do) we have just begun our late night opening hours....... so poor me has to work until 10.30pm at least one night per week till the festivities are upon us!!!!!!!!! Anyone want to come and take me away from this drudgery????? |
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Good food, a nice hotel room and You....... it's pretty good being me right now lol xxxx |
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Had a GREAT time at last nights Halloween Party, and i managed to get a suitable costume hehehehe. Such a shame though that a lot of the people on this site who SAY they are looking to meet local people in the scene, when they get an invite to a party make a wide range of varied excuses NOT to show up! Come on people, we MAY be pervs but we don't bite (not unless we are asked to) and it's not all about shagging and perviness, sometimes we just get together, have a few drinks, something to eat and enjoy each others company!! So if someone invites you to meet some local people here's a novel idea........ get off your arse, away from the computer and go have some REAL fun!! xx |
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Halloween party this weekend and i need ideas for a costume......... and NO i won't just go as myself and be a witch!! LOL |
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I have decided that for one week of the month i will be a Pro Domme and require 'tributes' from all who message me. These tributes should take the form of chocolate (LOTS OF CHOCOLATE) right now PMS is getting the better of me and i'm going back to bed! |
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Alright ladies........ normally i don't do this but i just HAVE to share this with you! Treat yourselves to the new Rampant Rabbit.... it's called The Wave!! It's bright pink, 8" of rippled pleasure!!! The shaft is rippled and literally "waves" up or down, with 3 speeds of buzzy eared pleasure too!!!! The best money you will EVER spend on yourself........ trust me..... ummm i'm off, something i just GOT to do lol ... xxx |
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Well it certainly does seem that when one door closes, another one flies wide open!!! It's really nice to be appreciated for a change, thanks........ You know who You are ... xx |
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Apparently there are some nice, honest, genuine people on this site .... yup thats what i've been told, honest!! I got it straight from the Tooth Fairy herself!!! |
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When you gain a little distance and perspective from someone or something you realise that what you had wasn't all "that anyway" lol. Amazing what a little time can do xx |
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Ok people newsflash!!!!!!!! If your a sub or slave and your viewing me because Tel, Terrytart or Terrypar is "interested" in you and your wondering if i am still his .......... the answer is no!! I don't stay with a person who lies, cheats, deceives and has no sense of remorse or guilt when found out.
If he is in your life........ Good Luck, your going to need it. |
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Do i look like a fool??? I must do coz i've been royally fooled!! No more though, it ends, right here and right now........ next time someone shows an interest in me i'm going to get out the lie detector from day one!! A friend of mine used to say that you can tell when a man is lying because his lips are moving, i'm beginning to think she's right! |
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The best way to get OVER a man is to get on TOP of another one lol. I'm ready!! xx |
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Today is the first day of the rest of my life...... bring it on! |
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You know it's a VERY small world on CollarMe and the internet. Liars come in all shapes and sizes,(the most recent one comes masquerading as a 6'1" "Master" what a joke!) and some even tell you they love you, while stroking your hair and lying to your face! I hope they can live with themselves because as of now i am SO done with all the lying, cheating, scum sucking, wannabe players on here that if you contact me be prepared to jump through hoops!! |
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I've been asked to consider becoming collared to a Master who lives in the US. Now I have to wonder....... are there any benefits to an online only relationship? Can one learn? Be guided? Feel controlled? All from a computer screen and/or cam chats?? I would love to hear from anyone who is in such a relationship or has been in the past..... did you benefit from it or not? |
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When the scales are removed from your eyes you see clearly once more....... |
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Fun loving female (that would be me) seeks attractive, solvent, Dom with a sense of humour and a HUGE honest streak (that would be You)..... all interested parties apply here lol. |
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In the hopes of reaching the moon men fail to see the flowers that blossom at their feet.
Albert Schweitzer |
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Online is exactly that......... ONLINE and most times it never goes any further than that. Real life relationships take work, committment, time and effort, but they are worth it. It's very easy to act like a Master/Mistress or slave/sub from behind a computer screen, it takes a lot more to do so in the real world and it isn't always easy, sometimes it just doesn't work, life, work, kids etc have to come first. |
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If you omit something, then your lying by default. If you don't reveal information, it's still a lie. If your asked a direct question and the answer you give is not the truth ........ newsflash, that is a LIE!!! *smiles sweetly* |
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Pondering................. |
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When trying to give the impression that your such a "good slave girl" and that you have no need to fear the wrath of of your Master, it's never a good idea to back chat him, then flinch so hard you would think that all the hounds of hell were at your heels when the aforementioned Master returns to the room and gives you the "look"...... is it B'stardsbitch??? Hehehehehe xxx |
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Do NOT come near me!!!!!!!! I am not in the mood for any of the fuckwits on here!!!! |
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A funny thing happened at work the other day, I was serving a customer who said he was a medium (as in psychic, not size lol) and he told me that i'm getting married this November........ well that means i'm going to be a busy girl, i have to meet my future husband, fall in love AND plan a wedding in the space of 5 short months!!!! So forgive me if i don't reply to any messages too fast, i may be busy finding my hubby to be lmao!!!!! 
P.S. Just in case anyone is wondering...... NO i don't believe what he told me lol |
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FREE to a good home!!! One intelligent, articulate, real life, reality based submissive, needs one careful owner who appreciates the value of a finely tuned, well worn (in places) chassis, soft upholstery, very good finish and responds well to care and attention. All applications in TRIPLICATE to...... www.dreamonandsmellthecoffee.com LOL |
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I don't accept chat invites from people i don't know......sometimes i don't accept them from those i DO know!!  |
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"To err is human, to forgive is divine" |
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Care in the community?? Pfffffffffffft!! You just wanted to trim my bush!! |
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I'm strong, I'm intelligent and I bounce back...... I have a lot to offer, and if it's not wanted by one, it will be wanted by another. Life has a habit of doing things for a reason, so....... bring it on, I'm ready!! |
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....... i'm sticking around!!! |
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Recently i've found that my wants, needs, desires, longings, whatever they are, cannot or will not be met here, on a computer. Good friends can be made, relationships can be forged, but real, long term committment can only come (in my opinion) from making the effort and taking the time to get off the computer and meet the person you care about face to face..... often real life has to take priority, kids, work etc, but if you neglect the one who's heart you hold in your hand, then you run the risk of that heart dying. I've decided to take a little break, for now at least....... |
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I've decided to erase my previous journal entry...... i'm not getting into a slanging match over who did what to whom. It's enough to feel the pain i feel without reading it every time i see my own profile. |
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Happy New Year!! I hope 2007 brings everything you all wish for...... and maybe a little more for me hehehe  |
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Merry Christmas to all my friends (and even my enemies)  'tis the season after all. I hope you get what you wish for from Santa. |
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Dear Santa,
I've been a very, very good girl all year...... well ok maybe not ALL year...... and maybe not ALL good...... but I've been VERY good at it hehehe! Please, please, please, please, please can I have a Dom of my very own? I promise I'll be good to him and look after him and give him huggles and kisses and crawl over hot coals wearing nothing but a leash and a smile (uh huh, right!) and if he wants to play with other girls I won't mind ( not much!) I'll even help him look (like THAT will ever happen) oh and I'll be his lil slut in the bedroom, his lady in public and never EVER question his Domliness....... hmmmmm ok maybe not this year, maybe not this lifetime lol!!!!!
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When someone lies to you, deceives you, ignores you or simply leads you on it hurts!
It's quite simple, tell the truth and shame the devil, submissive women are submissive, not poor little wallflowers who can't handle the truth. The only thing it achieves is hurting the person your lying to....... right now, that's me. I'll get over it and move on, but the walls come back up.
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You know they say that when life hands you lemons you should make lemonade........ personally I subscribe to the school of thought which says, crush the lemons, squeeze out all the pulp and juice........ then rub it into the face of the SOB who pissed on your parade!
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Sometimes the hardest test is to keep faith and wait....... but some things are worth waiting for.
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Some days you just want to smile...... this is one of those days!! :-)
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Ok all you Doms here is a little hint (coz I'm feeling in a good mood)
Tip # 1 (from the subbie handbook)
If You cast Your net in a small pond (like say ohhhhhhh the North East maybe, or a site like this one) Your going to hook the same fish, and these fish talk to each other believe it or not!! I know it's hard to believe but yes, subs talk!! Sooooooo if You tell one subbie that she is the ONLY one Your talking to or she is the "ONE" for You, and Your not being entirely truthful, trust me..... You will be discovered hehehe.
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Another year older (anyone checking my profile I updated my age lol) I had a good birthday with friends and family. The only thing missing was a special Dom to share it with........ perhaps next year!! I live in hope (well I live in the North East but you know what I mean) hehehe.. xxx
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Tomorrow, Friday Aug 18th is my birthday......... but I'm not saying how old I am!!!! (Don't look on my profile, I'll deny my age there lol)
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Apparently some of the new keyboards being supplied by Dell, now have an "Any Button" key. The were getting so many calls from customers who, upon reading the instruction "Hit any key to continue" rang up to say they couldn't find that button on their keyboard!! LOL
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More abusive mail from the same, oh so charming (NOT) so-called "Dom" . I've reported this mail to the site moderators, along with an explanation that being called a "fat whore" is not a cute little pet name, and no it isn't foreplay (though it might be to some) that in fact, it's abusive and nasty, the person in question is now blocked so at least I don't see his hateful outpourings....... I doubt they will do anything I just wish I could name him here.
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To the person who decided to mail me from out of the blue and tell me that I'm "too fat" and "too hog headed" I have this to say..... I may well be fat and not to your taste, however I am not a mean person and I don't insult people just for the hell of it as you seem to do, but on this occassion I'm going to make an exception!!!
I can lose weight if I choose.......... you, on the other hand will always be an ugly person, inside and out!!
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It's my birthday in ten days time and guess what I want?? A genuine Dom who has needs and desires that match my own...... any takers?? LOL
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"I expect My submissive to actively seek other women to join us....... the net, parties, private houses etc"
That was said to me very recently...... can we all say "Pimp!"?
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A thought has struck me recently whilst browsing through this site and it's this......
Why are there so many male Dominant profiles without a picture of the Dom? Far more so than the female subs (yes, I'm aware that there are more female subs on this site than male Doms lol) however it seems to me that the Doms are a little reticent about placing their mug shots on here hehehe!!! It could be that they are shy (even big, bad, scary Doms can be shy, I'm sure) it could be that they are escapees from the planet ugly lol (though I'm sure no one would be SO shallow as to judge on looks alone now would they??) It could also be that some are just playing games and don't want to get caught by their significant other...... however, I for one really like to see a pic of the people I'm talking to so pleeeeeeeeease, pleeeeeeeease, pleeeeeeease ( and it's not often I beg lol) come on Domly types.... show us Your faces??
Sunday morning ramble over... xxxxxxx
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I love my job, I really do, the pay is good, the people are nice, and I'm pretty good at it too. However the biggest down side of working in retail is that I get two days off work mid-week when all my friends are at their jobs and then have to face the prospect of working the full weekend when everyone else is out having fun!! Heigh - Ho it's off to work I go lol
xx
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Today is a bad day...... some days you just want to curl into a ball and feel sorry for yourself, it's my turn today.
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I consider myself to be fairly intelligent, a realistic person and one who doesn't live in a fantasy world, so I have to ask a question, because I'm wondering what I'm missing here...... WHAT MAKES A GOOD SUB???
Is it someone who does everything a Dom tells her, JUST because he is a Dom? If, after talking to a Dominant once or twice online, I don't want to turn on my cam and 'cyber' does that make me a 'bad sub'? a person who 'dictates' what she will and won't do? someone who 'tops from the bottom'? Or does it make me a person who has standards and values myself and what I have to offer enough to not belittle myself by doing things which are against my personal beliefs?
Submission begins in the mind and comes from trust, how can I trust someone I barely know and why would I want to give him a free 'show' on cam just because he wants it? What does it give him as a Dom and what does it give me as a sub? As far as I can tell it's only tittilation.... now I have a STRONG exhibitionist streak in me, and I'm not averse to titillation in the right circumstances, however I don't think my submission is proven by my willingness or unwillingness to strip off and fiddle with my bits on cam!
That's my two pennies..... for the "what it's worth department" xxx
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I've creeped in and stolen the stash of pink wafers from a sub friend on here....shhhhhhh no one tell her hehehe xx
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Well, it's been two days since I added my new pics..... a few have been approved but one or two more still to get the CM approval, or not as the case may be.... come one Collar Me people, the pics won't appear until you have approved ALL of the pics. Thanks xx
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I've just added some new pics to my profile, I thought it was about time I updated them. These were taken just a cpl of days ago, and I'd like to thank my very good friend SirB'stard who took them (David Bailey eat your heart out) His artistry with a camera is only surpassed by His modesty LOL
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Recently I became involved with someone from here. Now to say that this person ( I won't use the word dom as he doesn't deserve that title) to say he took time to reassure me that he was single, available and not a liar would be an understatement. He made sure that I believed what he said, came to visit me on more than one occassion, gave me a number to contact him, met my friends etc...... in order to win my trust. I subsequently found out that this man has had, and in fact, still has a sub of some two years standing!! Does this make me gullible? A fool? I think not, what I think is that I am basically an honest person and I trust that others are too, once that is proven to be wrong I am a formidable advesary. I won't name this particular individual as he doesn't deserve my time or effort, my integrity remains intact, in fact, when I found out about his deceit I found out who his sub was and contacted her, gave her the facts, then deleted him from my list.... he no longer exists to me, I did not contact this woman to be mean or hurtful, but if your partner was deceiving you, wouldn't you want to know? My answer to that question was a big YEs so I did, she and I have talked at length, and I have been open, honest and frank with her, I have nothing to hide.... what I will say is this. In future I will be a lot more wary, a lot more suspicious and check out people in more depth. As for the rest of you, think about this.... if you seek to deceive and lie, you WILL be caught out eventually, and if someone SEEMS too good to be true, the chances are that they ARE.... talk to other subs/Doms see who knows them and what they have seen or heard about their character, don't take everyone at face value, sadly people LIE
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Why do some "Doms" on here send a message to a sub and include a ful length picture of themselves....... naked!! Dominance and submission is about a power exchange and getting inside a person's head, not about getting inside their knickers (well not straight away lol) Seeing the nether regions of some stranger does absolutely nothing for me, and if I wanted to see your cheesy knob, trust me, I'd ask! |
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I've erased all my messages in my inbox here on CM, wiping the slate clean so to speak. It's a new start, a new beginning, if you've written to me recently and I haven't replied, i'm sorry I no longer have Your message, if I did reply.... well then great!!!
What's done is done and is in the past, right now i'm trying to move on, but this much I do know, I deserve to have 100% of One person's time and not be 1% of one hundred people's time.....
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I don't know how many ways and times a person can get hurt and keep coming back for more. Right now i'm thinking that enough is enough... please don't tell me what You think I want to hear, just tell me the truth, don't get inside my head and my heart if You have no intention of remaining there, and please, please, please, don't spend time wooing me, making me feel like i'm the most wonderful creature in the world only to take that away when You realise that it's all too much for You to handle.... it hurts! |
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Tonight I should be at my favourite BDSM club, enjoying the company of like minded friends and getting my arse paddled, flogged and spanked (amongst other things lol) instead, i'm sitting at home with the worst cold ever and feeling sorry for myself!! Sometimes fate is the most cruel Master of all........ roll on next month!!
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While i'm happy to chat to anyone, i'm not interested in becoming your slut/slave/whore/bitch online, i'm only interested in getting to know those who live close enough to me to make a meeting a real possibility. I've met a number of people from this site and some have turned into VERY nice encounters hehehehe but PLEASE, if You live on the other side of the world to me, don't ask me if i want to be Your "girl" the answer is a big fat NO!!! |
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Yesterday February the 24th I gave up smoking!!!! Using nicotine patches as prescribed by my Doctor.... so, my 20 to 25 a day habit is being kicked!! If I get crabby or bitchy or just downright rude I can always blame it on the nicotine withdrawal hehehehehe........ the only problem I can see is, what do I do to supplement the oral fixation that I have LOL...... wish me luck!
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I was emailed by a so called lifestyle dom, who is about "the core of things, not just the thin layer of protocol" This "dom" asked me if i would like to watch his sub serve him, right there and then. When i mailed back refusing, and pointing out that i failed to see how that served any purpose, he replied telling me that i'm judgemental and narrow minded, telling me also that i have a lot to learn about the lifestyle. Now i will admit to knowing that there is still a lot to learn, but as far as being narrow minded and judgemental..... well i take issue, i mean, can someone please tell me what the purpose of me watching a sub serve her dom is? Should i be impressed? Should i fall down and beg to serve him too? Or perhaps he just wanted to get his rocks off knowing that someone was watching....and hey, no problem, but that's a kink, that is not learning about the lifestyle, so please don't dress it up as such!!
These are just my thoughts.. and i stand by them!
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Sometimes i write, D/s erotica and the occasional poem, i thought i'd share this one here.
Within the darkness of the night
Fantasies come and my dreams take flight
You come to me while i must wait
My heart is lost You seal my fate
With desires and lust in a determined mind
Hands of steel and ties that bind
You take my mind, heart, body and soul
To satisfy cravings which You control
My needs are met only at Your whim
Your depraved mind filled to the brim
With thoughts and plans for the coming night
Holding me close and binding me tight
My cries combined of pleasure and pain
Are Yours to command as You watch me strain
The night draws in and the dawn will soon break
My heart cries out as my mind You take
Knowing that soon the light will appear
And the desires and pleasures which the night made clear
In the brightness of morning will quickly fade
As daylight begins and You retreat to the shade
Of my innermost secrets, where the heart of me lies
The beast deep within me howls and cries
Craving the release only You can bring
Knowing that soon the alarm bell will ring
Each day brings sorrow knowing You are not here
I anticipate night knowing You will draw near
The One of my dreams who knows my desires
And controls me with words which rekindle my fires
Once more in the daylight the reality dawns
I.....
Cry!
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Ok news flash!!! This is a PERSONAL journal (emphasis on the word personal) this means the thoughts, emotions, desires,feelings etc expressed here are MINE. I ask no one's permisson to write my entries and I don't expect praise or approval from anyone for these musings either. So, if you don't like what you read here, don't send me a message to tell me then block me so I don't have the right of reply...... just ignore my profile and move on to another, more to your liking, it's what I do!
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As an additon to my previous entry.... I am not seeking any form of intimacy with anyone right now. It's time to lick my wounds and regroup..... F/friends may contact me at any time, but as for anything else........ no thank you.
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Do NOT approach me and give me false information. Do NOT approach me with lies. Do NOT promise me anything. I can live without lies, deceit and hurt..... Are You married/attached/significant other?? Then be HONEST, from the beginning, not some time down the line when You've spun a web of lies, and You get cold feet at how deep You are in!!!! I may look like a strong woman, and I am, but I still feel and I still get hurt..... when You spin a web of lies to others remember this, there are REAL people behind these screens and they have REAL feelings!!!!!
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Often, people living this lifestyle (or pretending to live it) espouse it's openess and the way we can be 'individual' and non-conformist in how we live it. It struck me that, if you claim to be a radical and to live in a non-conformist way (and this is indeed why you chose this lifestyle) that all your actions would mirror this. However, aren't we conforming when we accept a 'collar' or give one? If you take a 'slave' and register her as owned by You, are we then just conforming to the expectations of this lifestyle which we thought was so radical? As we all know there is no such thing as real slavery in this day and age, so what are the labels that we attach to ourselves saying about us? In fact........ aren't we all CONFORMING in one way or another?
Just a thought....... xx
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This morning a very close Friend of mine made my day and brought a smile to my face in one sentence. Thank You G (You know who You are) xx
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Well, having just spent a week in the good old US of A and spending some time with 'lifestylers' there i can say this....... it isn't just the language that sets us apart lol. However it does go to prove one thing, if i can travel a little over 4,000 miles to meet some friends then surely distance in the same country is no big thing?
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Well it's been some time since my last entry, i've been too busy living my life to write about it. It seems so many here only live D/s via the net, now there is nothing wrong with that, if that's what you want and all you need, but if it is, i would suggest you don't presume to know everything about this lifestyle, as feeling the lash of a crop or the sting of a flogger ...... or in fact weilding them is SO much different to talking about them. Anyway, life is good right now, getting out, having fun opening new doors (some of them xxx rated hehe) i strongly reccommend it..... long live deviance!!!
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Well, it seems my new photos have been approved (2 days ago as a matter of fact) some of them anyway. Yet they haven't appeared ...... oh well, anticipation is half the fun!! |
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So i decided to add some new pics on the advice of a good Friend, these pics depict my submissive nature and are not designed as wanking aids lol. However, i have no control over what happens when they are viewed!
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A Dominant does not need to take control, He IS in control. A Dominant does not say He will do things, He just DOES them. A Dominant does not let people down, He does what He must to fulfill His promises. A Dominant cares for, nurtures and guides His submissive, He does not leave her to fend for herself. Is any of this striking a chord with You? This is only my opinion, gleaned from the experiences i have had, however, if You claim to be a Dominant and approach me as such, then please do not build me up then pull me down........ do it once shame on You, do it again, shame on me!
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Having recently spent time with a Man who is not only intelligent, witty and very charming (when He wants to be lol) i can say that, as with all things, communication is the key. Dominants are not mind readers (i know this may come as a shock to those Doms out there who think they are Demi-Gods hehehe) but we have a responsibility as submissives to communicate our needs and desires, and to TRUST that the Top will listen and take it on board. When we pretend that all is well and it really isn't, then have 'things' to do that preclude another meeting, it doesn't help anyone, and shock horror! Doms have feelings too. When we have talked and both parties understand what is desired, wanted, expected then the fun really begins <bigggg smile> and it can be such fun too. Keep talking folks.... but not when your mouth is full <winks>
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Lately i have been receiving a lot of mail, some good, some not so good <smiles> i will try and reply to all (apart from the obvious idiot ones that don't warrant a reply) please be patient with me.
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The dictionary definition of 'Dominant' is as follows......
"exerting forcefulness or having dominance in a social hierarchy"
"exercising influence or control"
it says nothing about spitting your dummy when you don't get your own way, perhaps then, those who do are not Dominants, but merely spoiled children having a temper tantrum. A dominant is in control, firstly of Himself, then the submissive, ......... " Mastering others is strength. Mastering yourself is true power."
Lao Tzu
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It would seem that there are those 'so called' Doms out there who, when things don't go their way revert to insults, derrogatory comments and sniping in journal entries, rather than taking a direct approach. Newsflash!!! If it doesn't go Your way...... maybe that's because in those instances Your way isn't the right way for that situation. *Smiles sweetly and goes about my business* |
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Are there any genuine, local, single, intelligent, solvent Doms out there? Am i asking for too much? One who knows how to address a woman who is also a submissive.... sighs...... i live in hope. |
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"Greetings, you have permission to contact this Israeli Dom!"..... that, in my opinion is not the way to introduce Yourself to a lady....... oh well, onwards and upwards |
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Just wanted to say not everyone on this site is without manners and some intelligence. Having had a very enjoyable conversation with a Dominant from collarme i am pleased to say that, if you choose carefully and wisely, it IS possible to find someone to share views and ideas with in a respectful manner. Who knows what may develop from a conversation?? Keep looking A/all...... |
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The following is a mail sent to me by a so called Dom, i was going to think of a suitable reply, but to be honest there aren't too many ways one can say f**k you a**hole!
First you get down on one knee and then the other, then only one finger gets inserted then two and after awhile you'll be down on both knees, cuffed with a huge plug in your ass and if you still have an opinion you'll get a penis gag then dinner and a movie ?
Just a little tip from this girl's perspective..... if you want the sub to submit, first get to know the woman! |
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