|
Cell popping. I got to do it last Sunday. Temporary (probably) branding with a soldering gun. Done as a dotted pattern so you only see the design outline when it's healed.
I now have a pair of kitty paws on the outside top of my right thigh where my cat Nikki used to sleep on me.
I love having twisted friends that like to research new toys. |
|
|
|
|
It's been a quite a bit of time since the insides of my thighs have been bruised like this. And this was my own doing - on a mechanical bull! Such great fun. |
|
|
|
|
Doing better. No longer hoping for a message. Still miss him and think of him, but mostly along the lines of hoping he's doing well. Mostly. Healing takes time, as it should.
|
|
|
|
|
Out in the middle of nowhere Texas, running around country backroads, looking at ranches and their brands, thinking, I might consider doing that for the right person one day. |
|
|
|
|
Ten weeks since he left. Two weeks since my chain came off. It's difficult to end something that wasn't really over. But life takes you where it must. |
|
|
|
|
pinching and twisting and pulling in the middle of the store just to see if I could remain silent. really not good at that. |
|
|
|
|
Didn't have to ask. Didn't even have to bring it up. He just made it right. |
|
|
|
|
I hate when I make that mistake. I let 5 months go by without floggings or the singletail. So I didn't last very long last night. I'm sure part of it was that Daddy had done one hell of a job on my nipples earlier that morning (and the day before). But still. I was told I was done before we got to the elk floggers I love so much. Did get the moose (yay!) and I couple of pieces that I don't like as much. Cause it isn't all about me :) |
|
|
|
|
Must take better care of Daddy's property. It isn't mine to damage. |
|
|
|
|
Think I'll be skipping FSF this year. First off it's the weekend before I leave to go to India for three weeks. Secondly, last year was quite the disappointment. Too many tourists and not enough vendors. Just doesn't hold the same appeal that it used to. |
|
|
|
|
All settled again. My evenings have structure and I now have a curfew. Hadn't realized how much I needed one. |
|
|
|
|
wow... I haven't had this one in a while. Someone decided to send an email to me to let me know that I am fat and they know how I should lose weight (wasn't even an interesting suggestion!). That might have bothered me a couple of years ago, but now, I actually like myself. Have fun being alone, dude. |
|
|
|
|
Even with all the fun I had Saturday night, flogging demo, singletail, needles, it still wasn't enough. I needed Daddy to hurt me. So I asked for the cane Sunday morning. That and his hand were exactly what I needed. One to make me float away and the other to bring me back to him. |
|
|
|
|
Oh my, last night's flogging demo was fun. Hearing people muttering about "why is she dressed" as I got up there. And then their giggles and gasps of surprise as my dress was flogged off of me. Each time the zipper was pulled farther down and the dress caught on my breasts, hips, and butt... god that was great. |
|
|
|
|
So over tired the thought of knives and fire doesn't even appeal. |
|
|
|
|
Started working on next weekend's flogging demo. Got a decently long song picked out so that there will be enough time for a couple of quick comments and pointers during the intro. What song is it? Ummm, I don't remember. And I heard it no less than five times tonight. It was 80s-ish. Maybe from a movie soundtrack. Guess my brain went away as soon as the leather was laid across my back. |
|
|
|
|
I need that peaceful place where the only thing I'm aware of is him. |
|
|
|
|
be now for ever taken from my sight,
though nothing can bring back the hour
of splendour in the grass, of glory in the flower;
we will grieve not, rather find
strength in what remains behind
Wordsworth |
|
|
|
|
Sitting in a tea shop today with a friend... talking about my last adventure and the next cutting Daddy wants to do... while crocheting a baby blanket. I love this world. |
|
|
|
|
There are a lot of things that I will take responsibility/blame for. Your inability to read is not one of them. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Well, the bruise from Monday evening has spread. Inner thigh from groin to knee. Hell, it isn't even inner thigh any longer. From the front of the thigh to the back. And now it is starting to itch as it heals.
And I'd do it all over again. Because he had so much fun. |
|
|
|
|
Wow. Broken skin through jeans. While driving. Same damn spot just kept getting warmer and warmer with the slapper. And then the pizza roller with thumb tacks came out. As did the blood. And I giggled. |
|
|
|
|
Sunday morning was difficult. Not knowing what time he was arriving. Waiting, anticipating, missing him. Listening to sounds in the hallway, wondering if it was him. And then it was. :) |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
According to my physical therapist today, I am "hyper flexible." Well, yes. It's in my best interest to be so. |
|
|
|
|
Making him happy and proud. That's what it's all about. |
|
|
|
|
Again... I will not add as a friend someone to whom I have never said a word. You are not a friend if I don't know you. Seems pretty obvious to me. |
|
|
|
|
Well crap. A "frozen shoulder joint" means that I won't be able to be strung up with my hands above my head anytime soon. And I have to do actual physical therapy. |
|
|
|
|
Huh. Plastic brush bristles can break skin. Who knew? What nifty little patterns... |
|
|
|
|
Thank you for the laugh this morning. So called "Masters" just begging to know more about me. How absolutely adorable. |
|
|
|
|
I hate crying when there is no one around to take advantage of it.
I need. |
|
|
|
|
Do guys on this site email so many women that they forget to whom they've talked? Or are they hoping that we forget?
I can't count the number of repeat emails that I get after having had a few email exchanges with the same person months before. I find it both amusing and sad. |
|
|
|
|
watching the blood rush to the surface of my skin... seeing the welt develop with little pinpoints... closing my eyes as Daddy hit that spot again and again and again... |
|
|
|
|
During a very emotional discussion yesterday afternoon, I found myself running my hand across my chain. Completely unaware that I had been doing it. And in my head I kept hearing, "Daddy wants me to communicate and to do that I need to be calm." I am still surprised at how much that centers me. |
|
|
|
|
Trying to walk around downtown (and do actual shopping) while Daddy was playing with the remote control to the egg... a little more difficult than I had been expecting. Picking up my feet became a challenge, I couldn't walk in a straight line, and I was, for the most part, inarticulate.
He ended up taking the handle of my chain and leading me around. Damn I love that. Almost as much as I love how he took me later that afternoon. |
|
|
|
|
I feel so guilty when someone sends a really sweet and thoughtful email, and all I can think is, "damn I want to edit their profile/message." |
|
|
|
|
Vrooom!! I got to go with my friend Red to buy her motorcycle today. And since she's as short as I am, that means I can handle the bike. Once she teaches me to ride, that is. God, this has been on the list of things to do for years. |
|
|
|
|
I've been wanting to get a rook piercing for quite some time and finally got around to it today. And of course we managed to find a piercer who teaches scarification. His portfolio was beautiful. So many different styles and techniques. mmmmm
After my piercing was finished, Daddy lifted up my shirt to show of the corset cutting he had done on my back. The piercer was quite impressed. I'm not sure who felt more proud. Me, for being shown off, or Daddy, for owning me. It was a good day. |
|
|
|
|
Oh the whole, I don't think much of collars. Don't get me wrong, I love the idea, but the execution is the problem. Everyone has them and they are worn as jewelry. I prefer something that means a little more. Something where I don't have to explain whether it is simply decoration or if it means more. Mine means more.
|
|
|
|
|
Being made to ask for what I want - so very difficult yet so very exciting. |
|
|
|
|
I get to be a Demo Dolly for a flogging class! How lucky am I? |
|
|
|
|
I need to remember that I don't have to like someone's play style just because I like them as a person. |
|
|
|
|
I hate that I worry about people who don't care that I'm worried for them. That I want better for them than they want for themselves.
It isn't good for me. |
|
|
|
|
I don't understand people requesting to add you to "their circle of friends" when you have not exchanged a single email. It's even better when they haven't looked at your full profile and therefore don't show up on your "who's viewing me" list. I have admired people and added them to that list without ever having talked to them, but that is a more general concept.
Calling someone a "friend" requires actual knowledge of the person. Unless you are hoping to add them simply to increase the size of your harem. But isn't that a little junior high? |
|
|
|
|
Yay! I get to sort through craft stuff and organize things while listening to new (new to me) Dropkick Murphys. This should not make me this happy. Although it does mean that I'll get to buy new stuff... |
|
|
|
|
How wrong is it that I prefer messages that say "he's not good enough for you" over ones that say "I enjoyed your profile and would like to get to know you." When my profile specifically says say I'm not looking, I would prefer that you be an assuming asshole rather than an obtuse liar. |
|
|
|
|
Went for a hike in the redwoods today... absolutely beautiful. No one else was out there, cause well, it's raining. We've had storms for the last couple of weeks in Northern California so there were a lot of branches and sticks across the forest floor. As I'm walking along, I couldn't help thinking...
*thwack*
*thud*
*whoosh*
*smack* |
|
|
|
|
I have found that going off-trail while snowshoeing and looking at the view from the top of the ridge is a good way to take a break without letting the group behind you know that you are completely winded. |
|
|
|
|
It is going to be a good day. Going to the Bodies Revealed exhibit (yay for dead bodies!) then to see Sweeney Todd (yay for blood and violence!). And there will be strawberry shortcake at some point in the day. Should have more weekends like this. |
|
|
|
|
I dislike how materialistic I feel this time of year. This is not who I am, or who I want to be. And I don't notice it until after the holiday passes and I start looking at the things I was hoping to receive. Damn corporate programming.
And yes, I bought things today. But do books count? |
|
|
|
|
Floggers and knives. Absolutely a better start to this weekend than the last one. Could have done without the dressage whip though. But that one was for him, not me. |
|
|
|
|
Silly me. I forgot that the weekend can't get better until you turn off the tv and get up off of the couch. Good thing I have people to remind me of these things. |
|
|
|
|
A long crappy week should have a better ending than sitting on the couch watching Law & Order. |
|
|
|
|
Because I have seen so many people use the term "doormat" and have heard just as many people question its meaning, I give you this link (which you must copy and paste). The first entry on this page is possibly the best definition I have ever read. http://www.avclub.com/content/node/45932
|
|
|
|
|
Folsom Street Fair - This was my 4th year going to FSF and I came to the realization that one must go early if one actually wants to get to the booths and buy any toys. By the afternoon there are so many people crammed together that you can't reach anything. Yes, the afternoon is good for people watching, but that wasn't my purpose this year. I had a bit of a shopping list and I had a difficult time finding wooden paddles, if you can believe that.
Actually, this year I noticed that the booths seem to be a lot more service oriented (no, not THAT kind of service), rather than vendors. In past years there were booths with supplies for pony play, all sorts of suspension set ups, and the never ending array of paddles and crops. This year seemed to be corsets, jewelry, and gym memberships. |
|
|
|
|
Cuttings
My brain goes back and forth between “what the hell am I doing?” and “mmmm sharp,” remembering how long I have waited for and wanted this. Because you are doing this to me and I am unable to move and I am completely focused on every sensation. Happy girl. I need more vacations like this.
P.S. Just got a message saying that this photo wasn't approved. Oh well. |
|
|
|
|
Thank you Daddy. For making it such that I don't always have to be "okay." For not loving me for a couple of hours. And for knowing why I need this and you. |
|
|
|
|
And then after a good flogging, everything once again becomes clear. Finances sort themselves out, jobs open up, personal relationships become clear, and life is balanced once again. Until next time... |
|
|
|
|
It is amazing how despondent one can become when they are looking forward to something with great anticipation and it is taken away. Something that you did not previously even realize that you needed suddenly becomes essential to your well-being. |
|
|
|
|
Life is good. So good in fact, that I'll probably only be online to catch up with friends. My plate is looking a bit on the full side these days, not that I'm complaining, mind you! |
|
|
|
|
While talking to a couple of friends tonight, they asked why I had not returned their email. I could not understand what they were talking about – I would not have ignored them! So I get home, look through the email list, just to make sure that I had not missed the six emails, and I notice something at the top of the email page. Apparently CollarMe has something called “Bulk Mail” that I had never noticed. When I clicked on the link, there were five pages of emails. Oh crap! All of these people think that I was ignoring them, when that was not the case at all! Apparently there is another link for “Mail Controls” and mine had some strange settings – none of which I had ever set up. So to everyone who has sent an email to me that ended up on my Bulk Mail page, I humbly apologize for my computer’s malfunction. Now, time to sort through them… |
|
|
|
|
Answer me this, do opening lines such as "I'm going to dominate you," or "give me your phone number now, little girl," actually work for Doms? Because to me, those lines indicate that my consent means nothing to you. I have already figured out that you have no respect for me as a person, never mind as a sub. |
|
|
|
|
If you cling to an idea as the inalterable truth, then when the truth does come in person and knock at your door, you will not be able to open the door and accept it.
-Udana Sutta |
|
|
|
|
When the preferred method of shutting my brain off isn’t available, I found that hanging on to an inner tube being pulled behind a speed boat is an incredible rush. After a weekend from hell full of grief and crying, I was finally able to distract myself today by trying to hang on for dear life. Catchin’ air, bouncin’ across the tube, getting rolled into the water, getting smacked in the face by the waves…perfect for forgetting all that ails you. |
|
|
|
|
Somehow, I have angered the internet gods. First, Yahoo Messenger won’t let me sign in. Fine, I can be patient, for a while, while they get things sorted over there. Then, a couple of hours later, Yahoo is cooperating, I manage to sign on for two minutes, and the DSL craps out. I finally have time to spend in front of the computer and there are people that I would like to talk to, and this happens. Have I not paid the proper respects? I give monetary offerings and access to all of my personal information. What more do they want from me? |
|
|
|
|
Please Try My Dating Service...It is not for Republicans. It is not for bow hunters. Also, no cat hoarders. Sign up now!
Mark Morford at sfgate.com is my hero. I've been reading his column for years now and I'm always left entertained, intrigued, and contemplative. I came across this article last week and was amazed at the perfect timing of it all. He is expounding on the idea that there is no dating site for forward thinking, “blissed-out intellectual misfits.” And of course, unlike some sites, he isn’t planning on charging for this service. To join, you will merely be required to thrust out an act of random juicy kindness to the world, including (but not limited to) buying a Hitachi Magic Wand for five random women in your life, donating a decent hunk of change to local Planned Parenthood, memorizing the prelude to Tom Robbins' "Skinny Legs and All," spending 10 hours researching the Islay single malts of Scotland or blasting old AC/DC in the car at top volume with the sunroof open and singing along as you drive by a church. Body types will be implied in descriptions of how much sake is required to get you drunk and naked and bent over the coffee table on a Tuesday night. Priorities here people! Maybe I could just date him…
|
|
|
|
|
|
