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Female Dominant, 57
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Female Submissive, 23
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Female Switch, 22, springfield, Missouri
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About amalisaeterna
****no longer searching****
Hi there! I'm Amalis. As of 11 January, I'll be 24 and will have been "out and open" with my spanking interest & actively pursuing a spanking partner for over a year. I've been into spanking ever since I can remember - the typical "Oh, here's what I used to do..." things hold true for me as well (spanked my dolls, looked up every word related to 'spank' in the dictionary, read and reread books that had any mention of spanking, etc.) but I didn't really "get" the interest, and it wasn't acknowledged until my mid-teens. I knew I craved structure & discipline, accountability & consequences, but I had no clue how to go about finding it.
The internet gave me great insight into alternative lifestyles and taught me "the world" was much more open to "my freaky longings" than I thought it was. I soaked up stories about Tops/bottoms, D/s, M/s, & DD like I was a sponge. Reading about the submissive, I would sit there and think, "Wow! That sounds just like me!" and the Tops/Dominants would make my spine tingle and my tummy flip-flop in the stories that I read. DD always stuck out to me the most. Being in a household where I'm submissive to him, where he makes the decisions and I gladly follow his lead.... Yeah, that pretty much summed up what I wanted, and what I still want.
I am submissive. That's all there is to it. I have in me an intense need and desire to serve - in whatever way I can. I am also a spanko. What that means to me is simply that I love spanking. I love a hard spanking just for the sake of getting spanked, something that will take me into subspace and let my spirit sing. I love spankings that start gentle and speed up, or vice versa - that start slow and ease me down. I love (and hate!!) spanking as discipline/punishment -- it speaks to me in a very real way. It brings me right back down into the mindest of the submissive and is a very effective form of correction for me. Play spanking and punishment spanking are two separate things for me, and largely based on emotion. I've laughed through a strapping that was all in good fun, and cried through the exact same when it was punishment for some misdeed. I don't use spanking to get off - I use it to calm down, relax, de-stress, and yes, it is also a form of correction.
I love knowing where that "line in the sand" is drawn, and I love knowing that if I blow past that line, someone will be there to pull me back in and put me back in my place. Spanking is not always the answer to that - there are many others ways that can be achieved. A good Dominant, and one who has learned me and what I respond to, should be able to think up a few things outside of spanking that will remind an impertinent subby of her place. When I've got someone who does that for me, I am a happier me. Amazing how that works...
I don't give myself halfway to anything I do. If I've made a commitment, a true commitment to someone, that person can rest assured that I will give him all I have - provided he is willing to do the same. If you get off on Being In Control and act like a jackass just because "being Dominant means you can" - you might want to look somewhere else; that type of Dom will get no respect from me. If you can be kind, caring, understanding, and patient yet also strict, stern, unmoving, In Charge, and a bit of a sadist -- we might get along. It's incredibly important to me that anyone I'm with or working with know how to master himself; if he cannot master himself, how exactly is he meant to master me?
I will be no-one's doormat; I've been through that and have no desire to repeat the experience. I am a human being, and I expect to be treated as such. Me agreeing to let 'you' make the decisions does not make me any less of a person than you. Mutual respect is also important to me. If you're the type of Dominant who cannot show respect to a submissive because of her station, please turn around and go back the way you came.
A quick little insight to my submission: One of my favourite places to sit is at his feet, hugging his leg, my head on his knee with his hand either running fingers through my hair or right at the base of my neck, holding me gently. That position provokes such a feeling of safety and security... And it reinforces my submission. That is a feeling that I really revel in.
I'm in North Alabama. I'd really like to meet that special someone I can share my life with, play partners, and friends.
If you've read this far, thank you for the time. I hope to hear from you, whether you're local or not. The easiest way to get in touch with me is by message on this site. I am also happy to share my Yahoo screenname if you ask me in a message so we can chat real-time. |
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My submission is like a drug to me. Thinking of it, craving it, needing it - it is never far from my thoughts. During interactions with others, I study mannerisms as I try to decide if they are Dominant or submissive.
Thoughts of myself submitting to the will of a Dominant com unbidden into any quiet moments I have. I fantasize about what it would be like to submit to various Doms I have met. I crave hearing whispered commands, feeling rough hands, being wrapped up by him and knowing that I am HIS. I long yo give myself over - mind, body, and soul - to him. I dream of belonging yo one who respects my limits and will eventually help me overcome them.
I want to learn what it truly means to belong to a Dominant, to have nothing untouched by him, but to know all the while that I am cherished and loved and respected.
I want someone who can live the lifestyle and take me o new heights and places I never knew existed.
I want to kneel before him and feel my heart burst with love and adoration.
I want to fill his needs and find my pleasure in giving him his.
I want to make his life complete with my love and devotion and to help lighten his days through my service to him.
I want to know everything about him so that I may strive to serve him better every single day, never giving him less than my best.
I want to meet the person who makes the phrase "Yes, Sir." more meaningful than "I do."
I want to look at him and say "Sir" with my heart pounding because I know that he is mine but above all and most importantly I am HIS.
My submission is my drug. |
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So, I just ended a week-long vacation with my mentor and spanko friends that was filled with lots of spanking fun for all.
My mentor happens to be a Dom who has helped me a lot this last semester in the absence of having my own Dom here in town full-time.
I learned a lot this last week. One, that spankings every day is kinda fun. Two, it can be fun to sometimes give somebody a good whack with a nice, supple leather strap. Three, I need a Dom around. And not just a Dom who gets off on being a Dom, but someone who truly understands the submissive mindset and can respond to it juuust right.
I pushed and tested my mentor all week, bratting with him and just being testy - in a fun, teasing way, and really fairly mild. And he gave me a few stern looks here and there, a couple of firm words spoken because he knew I was doing it playfully and to get a reaction out of him. We had a talk on Wednesday about how I didn't want to leave, because it was nice knowing (over that week) that I had someone there who would reign me in when needed. We had talked before I went down about him giving me a stress-relief spanking to help me let go of all the stress and pressure from the Spring semester at school. On Wednesday, I told him that what I really needed was to be brought down, to be reminded of my place. He knew what I needed, what I was looking for - he knew it just because of how I'd been acting all week. What he was waiting for was for me to ask for it - for me to realize what I needed.
Thursday was very cathartic. I got one of the best spankings I've ever received and it was a great release. Thursday night, I was awful. I challenged him big time, was defiant, and incredibly disrespectful to him. And he responded more sternly than he ever has with me - his facial expressions and the tone of his voice were more stern than I have ever seen him be. He brought me right down, all right, and made his point with searing strokes of the strap against my bare backside. I cried like I have never cried before, fully remorseful and very subdued.
Yet, despite feeling terrible about how I treated him and disappointed in my own behaviour, I felt reassured and comforted. How weird is that? I thought about it as I drove home. This lifestyle hasn't stopped for me because I don't have a full-time Dominant, but I so desperately crave someone in my life who can consistently reinforce my place and of who and what I am.
In word and in deed.. My ideal "he" can remind me of who we are to one another with just a 'look' when I'm pushing too much, or a quiet word in my ear when the look doesn't do. He can make me feel loved and cared for like no one else can, simply because he is there. His presence everyday gives me security and safety. With him, I know that I don't have to fear, I don't have to worry, I don't have to pretend. I can be, and let go; I can fall, and he'll catch me.
Funny how a week of spanking fun turned into a further realization of what I'm looking for...
The big question now -- is he out there?
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