AMastersTouch

I spend a good deal of my time working my farm with lots of animals and a nice garden. I'm interested in finding one who can do the same thing and enjoy it.

Joseph Sobran put it:

'Need' now means wanting someone else's money.

'Greed' means wanting to keep your own.

'Compassion' is when a politician arranges the transfer.'

"The most difficult subjects can be explained to the most slow-witted man if he has not formed any idea of them already; but the simplest thing cannot be made clear to the most intelligent man if he is firmly persuaded that he knows already, without a shadow of doubt, what is laid before him." - Leo Tolstoy

"If you have been voting for politicians who promise to give you goodies at someone else's expense, then you have no right to complain when they take your money and give it to someone else, including themselves." - Thomas Sowell

Wouldn’t be cool if people came with labels that told us just who and what they are?

“i have the ability to be loyal and will be devoted, no matter what comes”.

“If things get tough, i’ll cut your throat to save my own”.

But they don’t so we need circumstances to help reveal who and what people are. Little things, in less than overt ways demonstrate character and gives clues to the real person inside. The more stress, the less we are able to hide the real self. And with time and experience, for good or ill, we reveal the person we genuinely are.

My personal goal is to be known for who I am. I want someone capable of appreciating the man I am and who can match up. True emotional intimacy is only possible when two can both be transparent and accepting of the other for who they really are, not pretending to be someone else.

So, where is my girl?

I'm serious.

My daughter is now gone and I have a lot of space to re-clean and put my furniture back into place. 

Peace and quiet! How cool it is.

My home will be mine again soon. My daughter and 3 grand kids are moving to be closer to her b/f. I can't tell you how great this is! My home will be peaceful again. 

I'm seeking a submissive county girl; one who enjoys living in a rural atmosphere, with lots of space between us and the neighbors. I grow a lot of my own food and raise animals to milk or gather their eggs and that is part of what we do here.

I need one who is capable of emotional intimacy as well as engage on an intellectual level that matches mine. Kink is important since that will always be who I am but there is a need to have a human connection which validates each one of us. Respect goes both ways.

Here is looking to Spring.

I think we missed winter this year.

I recently brought in 6 baby pigs who are engaged in eating the weeds and plowing the field. I have 6 baby goats now and 4 baby lambs that are as cute as you can imagine. I expect many more over the next few months.

I'm planting tomatoes and peppers again with hopes we are past any frosts. The fruit trees are beginning to bloom and the peaches are going to be very abundant. The bloom is keeping the honey bees busy and happy.

I'm not optimistic about the coming year and think we as a country are in for a tough time no matter who they decide to elect. I hope all are paying attention to reality since you won't get a clear view or appraisal from the media. 

Where are the ladies who need to be owned hiding?

I really miss having an emotionally intimate relationship.

And, I want to have one (girl) who is capable of engaging on this level of connection.

 “Want of foresight, unwillingness to act when action would be simple and effective, lack of clear thinking, confusions of counsel, until the emergency comes, until self-preservation strikes its jarring gong – these are the features that constitute the endless repetition of history.”  Winston Churchill

I planted broccoli and lettuce today for a fall crop and will do peas tomorrow.

It is harvest time;

Great water melons this year. I still have 4-5 more.

Lots of vegetables.

Tomatoes are mostly gone

Bringing in some honey to process today.

I need to get the pig into the freezer too.

Canning today too.

I don't like doing this alone.

"The vice of capitalism is it's unequal sharing of blessings.

The Virtue of Socialism is it's equal sharing of misery."

- Winston Churchill

Life is changing for me again. About a year and a half ago my daughter, husband and three grand children moved in with me. That bought some challenges and joys into my life. Was great to have my daughter close and connected.

Now, they have found a place and are moving out at the end of the month. Sadness and relief are in me at the same time. I wonder at times if others realize the craziness they bring into other’s live and if they did, could they moderate it?

Either way, Peter and I are looking forward to some peace and quiet and if I want the noise, I can go visit.

I am of the opinion that life is harder than it needs to be or maybe than I want it to be.  I believe it would be much better when shared than when faced alone. The challenges remain but the joys of work would be rewarded in a more profound manner.

My hope would include finding a girl who wants to share their life with mine and develop an intimate and emotional attachment.  I mean, should that be so difficult?

I restarted my interest in raising honey bees this year. Started earlier this year, I've been building boxes and frames, collecting swarms and or gathering hives from structures or bushes. I've harvested about 80 pounds of honey so far this year and it is in bottles now. I did not expect to be so productive since it takes a while for swarms to grow in strength and produce honey. I am guessing I'll have a couple of hundred pounds before the end of the season this year.

I will say or point out that if you are suggesting you are seeking a relationship as a submissive (or more) and you think life will pretty much remain the same as it is now, you are really not ready for a relationship.

Worth reading;

I predicted doom if Obama was elected. Sadly the results are far worse than imagined. The economy is in shambles. America is staring at economic disaster -- Armageddon. Even me, the eternal optimist is scared at what the future holds. We are the Titanic, headed straight for the iceberg.

America has always been a land of boom and bust. It’s just part of business cycle. But Obama and his socialist cabal have channeled Hoover and FDR, who turned an ordinary bust into The Great Depression with a toxic strategy of more government, more spending, more debt, more rules and regulations strangling business, higher minimum wages, more power to unions, more entitlements, higher taxes, more printing of money by Fed, and trade tariffs. This is the Obama blueprint squared. 

The question this time is, is Obama doing it because he understands nothing about business? Or does he understand exactly what he's doing? Is Obama's goal to overwhelm the system, incite crisis, sow doubt about capitalism, and force the citizens to beg for government to save them, thereby opening the door to Socialism? Is Obama's plan to redistribute the wealth, and at the same time to bankrupt the people with wealth and power, thereby crippling his political opposition?

Does it really matter?

Here's where the story gets downright frightening. This time the results are going to be dramatically worse than 1929. This time we are facing The Greatest Depression ever.

Why? Because The Great Depression had NONE of problems and obligations we are now facing:

In 1929 America was not $100 trillion in debt and unfunded liabilities.

In 1929, most of our states were not bankrupt, insolvent and dependent on the federal government to survive.

In 1929, we had far fewer government employees living off taxpayers. Today 1 out of 5 federal employees earn over $100,000. California lifeguards and Las Vegas firemen earn $200,000. 77,000 federal employees earn more than the Governors of their states. Government employees retire at age 50 with $100,000 pensions for life. The postal service - without competition- loses $8 billion annually. Protected by their unions and the politicians they elect, government employees are bankrupting America. Even FDR said he could not imagine allowing public employees to unionize.

In 1929, Social Security, Medicare, and Medicaid didn’t exist. The federal government had no such obligations threatening to consume the entire federal budget within a few years. 

In 1929, there was no such thing as welfare, food stamps, aid to dependent children, or English as a second language programs. American’s didn’t consider it the responsibility of government to pay for breakfast and lunch for school students - let alone illegal immigrants.

In 1929, we didn’t have millions of illegal immigrants and their children collecting billions of dollars in entitlements from U.S. taxpayers.

In 1929, legal immigrants wanted only to work. My grandparents from Russia and Germany received no government benefits. They worked day and night to provide for their family and become American citizens. It was sink or swim.

In 1929, we had 150 million citizens with a strong work ethic- all motivated to earn the American Dream for their children and grandchildren. Americans were hungry in 1929. Today the hungry, motivated citizens and entrepreneurs are in China and India.

In 1929, we had an education system that was the envy of the world. Today our public schools are in shambles. We spend the most in the world, and get among the worst results. The difference today? Teachers unions are in charge, instead of parents 

Our students are taught socialism and the great benefits of big government. They graduate with few skills, qualified only for low paying manufacturing jobs that no longer exist- they've been shipped to China and India. What will this workforce do for the rest of their lives? Live off the government dole? Who will pay for it?

In 1929 children had hope for the future. Today they are hopeless, helpless, and clueless – an entire generation that only knows drugs, gangs, rappers, government handouts, teen pregnancy- and it goes downhill from there.

In 1929 taxes were much lower. Forget the tax rates- they were meaningless. In those days we had a cash economy, so most businesses paid little or no taxes. Sales and FICA taxes didn’t exist. Today the combined local, state, property, gas, sales, FICA and federal taxes are the highest burden in history. This stifles entrepreneurship and hinders the financial risk-taking necessary to create jobs and get out of a Great Depression.

Do you get the picture? Disaster looms. We are staring at the Greatest Depression ever. 

Still doubt me? Did you read the recent news report of 80 teen girls all pregnant in one Memphis high school? That’s 80…eighty…in one high school. This is happening all over the USA. Who will pay the bills?

We are in deep, deep trouble. There is no easy way out. The noose is tightening. The economy is crumbling. The situation is turning more hopeless by the hour. The more government gets involved, the worse it gets. Coincidence?

The solution is simple- cut government, cut spending, cut entitlements, cut taxes, stop the wars, end the Fed, term limit politicians, and back the dollar with a gold standard. Or, like so many other great empires of history, America may never recover from this Greatest of All Depressions that Obama is driving us directly toward.

By Wayne Allyn Roo

Some thoughts;

I see this more often than not and that is the separation of lifestyle goals and what is referred to as ‘real life.’  I believe this conflict keeps those from achieving real relationships because they are unable to embrace their fantasy when push comes to shove.

From my perspective, you can not segment life and if you can find the strength of conviction, co-mingling and integrating a Ds dynamic and making it real will lead to a sustainable life. I want a relationship that exists and is non-offensive to the tourists but is satisfying to U/us.

In simple words, you are a slave 24 hours a day and can feel it while engaged, no matter the event. you do not need the trappings of a play scene to know you  belong to the One and your devotion is stable, your status is not in question and you can feel joyous whether in kink or plain and life is simple and you are owned.

"We’re gonna have to relearn the skills we’ve forgotten. We’ve become like helpless babies pushing the buttons of our fancy technology whilst distancing ourselves further everyday from the reality of what it actually is to be human."  - Francis Magee 

a brief up-date on babies. In the last 10 days four mothers have freshened and brought us 8 new babies. So, since Feb, that is a total of 21 baby goats.

I suggest you ask yourself a few questions before any contact is considered;

Have you considered your motivation and what you are really seeking here? Are you genuine enough to admit and share what that may be?

Can you focus on One and if things are good, step past your traditional fears and actually meet face to face?

Do you have the energy to invest in exploring who I am and being self-revealing, to share who you are?

Do you anticipation a change in your life circumstances, accepting that to become involved means life will change.

If you choose to introduce yourself, I would be interested in understanding your ‘take’ on my questions.

My goal is to integrate two lives into one of mutual benefit and interests. I’m NOT inclined to use this site for a hook up to play BDSM games or scenes. What is important to me is to find those who can live their lives in joyful submission while existing and enjoying all that life brings to us. 

Sex is a great activity but what matters more is what brings joy and satisfaction before or afterwards. Sex or play has never been the issue. Finding enjoyment in mutual shared emotional intimacies is important.

I’m searching for the one who can match up well with me intellectually and emotionally and learns to feel a deep sense of satisfaction by simply being with me.

I mean, how hard should that be?

yes, I am seriously interested in developing a relationship.

Three more baby La Mancha's arrived mid-morning saturday. 2 f, 1 m, all doing well. four days ago the Nigerian kidded and we have one beautiful little girl. two were dead when we found them. the mother seems to lack good mothering skills.

Like we don't have enough goats now? My daughter has wanted  a small breed of goat, a Nigerian, for some time now. We bought a doe yesterday who is pregnant and will bring new babies to us in the next few weeks.  We plan on cross breeding the doe with one of our La Manchas or Nubians to create a miniature La Mancha or Nubian. 

We also had baby Califorians, (meat rabbits) yesterday (7). 

I'm teaching a beginners beekeeping class in two weeks and a chicken butchering class in three weeks here. 

Two new baby Lamancha goats arrived yesterday. One boy and one girl and both doing quite well. Within the next week - 10 days, we should have two more mommies drop their babies. 

for those who know me, I've finished planting 9 new fruit trees this fall/winter.

Mostly apple & pear, some peach, a lemon and misc that  can't spell. I'll edit this later. I'm almost done with the pruning of the existing fruit trees and bloom in on my older peach trees. Spring is way too early here.

"If history teaches us anything, it's that bad ideas are never gone for good," SarahPalin

fyi, it was 88 deg today in El Cajon, blue skies, really nice!

I was trimming the fruit trees and planting carrots and it was hot. I mean, hot!

Is it really just sex you seek and not a lifestyle? It seems some just want to play at this D/s stuff. There is no question the sex is great but....

I'd rather build a life and incorporated life skills and Ds into the whole system. 

there is a new guy (vdenuitfom) advertising himself as a dom in SD. He took pictures from my profile and used them on his account. I strongly suggest you be careful if you engage with him because real guys don't misrepresent themselves like he did. 

If you have a question, feel free to ask me.

Another baby lamb arrived this morning. Yup, in the rain and knee deep in the mud. Just one big baby. Good thing I have some birthing pens to allow mom and baby to hang out and stay dry. 

two  baby goat, two sheep, and a doz baby rabbits so far this month.

I'm getting the sense that Santa may have some sadistic tendencies. I asked for a submissive for Christmas and he brings me a baby sheep. 12 lbs, 8 oz and born into the mud of the corral. What a nice surprise!

Mommy and baby are now in a birthing pen and doing great. 

But, hey, Santa,,, what about the ....?

A bit of a rant;

I find it curious when I see a girl suggesting what we do is sinful or somehow immoral. If you still think that way, you are still on the vanilla side of the line and not suitable for me. I’m ok with one who can walk in society without a need to share your kinky nature but when given free will, you should fully embrace your need to serve physical needs with energy and delight. It’s the right thing to do and not sinful.

Again, there are those who suggest they are or can be sluttish. Wow!  How impressive.  Don’t you realize all women are capable of become intensely slutty when properly motivated. There are some, no doubt who won’t go there but then they are not here so are not significant. My experience is all girls are as slutty as I make them.

Best wishes for a Merry Christmas, folks.

.... i'm a sub, David. i live to serve and i know i can't expect others to be like me. i don't serve to get something in return; my nature is to serve; and the opportunity to live the life i was born to live is remuneration enough.

These words bring delight to mine and any dominants heart. she is not mine but her words are meaningful to me and brings me a sense of pleasure, simply hearing them.

What a submissive is and isn’t:

I did not write this but felt it was worth sharing and I do agree with it completely.

one who seeks to explore the development of intimacy in a relationship by working through and giving up defenses, thereby laying bare his/her self in a desire to be fully known, exposed, and understood.

one who desires to grow as an individual by confronting self-destructive issues and impulses with the guidance and help of a Master with the ultimate goal of leading a healthier life.

one who desires to transcend ego needs through devotion and service to another with the understanding that experiencing selflessness allows the submissive to explore and develop aspects of self in relation to the world that deepen his/her connection to simply being a part of the world as opposed to controlling aspects of his/her existence.

one who has a sincere desire to accept guidance and direction and who understands that submission is a psychological, emotional, physical, sexual and spiritual state.

one who understands that the development of submission requires tremendous strength and spirit and that the journey towards submission will create character, psychological and spiritual health and personal happiness and serenity.

one who freely chooses to explore and eventually accept surrender and submission understanding that submission is a choice.

one who works hard to explore, understand and develop submission with appropriate boundaries which leads to an enriched quality of life with the understanding that attempting to lead an alternative lifestyle requires a great deal of personal insight, thinking through, self-awareness and accepting of personal responsibility for making such a choice.

one who ensures that the personal choice to explore and develop a D/s relationship does not harm others either physically, emotionally or spiritually whenever possible while remaining true to his/her own needs.

one who understands that truth and honesty are the foundation of a healthy relationship.

What a submissive isn't:

one who gets needs met by performing submissive acts in order to receive rewards and validation.

one who repeats patterns of self-destructive and/or self-abusive behaviors thereby remaining in pathological relationships.

one who manipulates, orchestrates, or demands conditions for submission or the development of intimacy in order to meet self-interests.

one who simply desires control regarding sexuality. This more closely defines a bottom.

one who acts out maladaptive behaviors and psychological processes from a place of weakness based on past injuries and trauma recreating negative dynamics in the Master/sub relationship.

one who accepts the control and authority of Another based on low self-esteem, fear, exploitation or coercion.

one who does not take responsibility for his/her choice to explore D/s relationships.

one who myopically enters a power exchange relationship with no regard to the needs of self or others both within and outside of the D/s relationship.

On-line is not a Ds environment.

It's an opportunity to meet people of mutual interests. If anyone uses it to be 'in control' or sexual, walk,,,, run away. They are just playing w you and have no sense of reality.

Nothing of a Ds nature will ever happen until reality exists and that is after meeting and developing trust and mutual interests.  

People reveal themselves based on their reality and if on-line is it, then they assume everyone is on the same page, which they ARE NOT. 

*** Trust what you see revealed by behavior and don't trust just their words.*** 

I'm making Cranberry Salsa for the holidays, to eat and give away. I make two triple batches.

28 pints of spicy sauce.

It's REALLY great and for a present, I'll give you the recipe. ENJOY!

 Cranberry Salsa

4 cups frozen or fresh cranberries

2 cups water

4 cups sugar

4 jalapenos or any type of peppers, finely chopped

1 medium onion, chopped

1 tsp cumin

2 tsp dried cilantro or 1/2 bunch fresh cilantro chopped

1 small lime (just the juice)

makes 5-7 pints of salsa

Heat water, sugar in pan for 5 to 10 minutes to reduce down, (not a rolling boil, just a basic simmer so that sugar dissolves).Add the rest of ingredients and cook for 20 to 25 minutes.  Cranberries should start to pop and the mixture will have thickened.  Fill jars to 1/4 inch of rim.  Place lids on and then process in water bath for approx. 10 minutes.  Remove jars, let cool and check to make sure lids are not popped up.  Store for up to 6 months.

I’m seeking the ‘girl next door’ type, only in a kinky variety. One who enjoys the simple things of life; doing normal chores in the garden, growing and eating fresh vegetables, intelligent conversations, making a nice dinner, home projects, enjoys dancing, going to the beach, some volleyball or biking along the water. It's important that you value animals and enjoy that interaction. Continuing your education, even if self administered from personal study is important. 

I’m seeking one who is in reasonably healthy and can enjoy an early morning hike up the local mountains or possibly rollerblading along the ocean front. Health is important to me and I expect you to be hwp and obviously a non smoker.  

I’m a sensual sadist and seek one who responds well to kinky behaviors. Not to the extreme but who will melt to my desires. I participate on occasion with the local leather community but it’s not my central focus.  

You should be service oriented, seeking to learn obedience and proper protocol to One who you will learn to worship. You should be serious about finding and moving towards building a relationship that will endure and be meaningful.  You see this process as a way to achieve a real outcome of life changing proportions. 

I heard a good discussion on strategizing in our effort to deal with the coming hard times America is heading towards. Basically, it is divided into two camps.

The first is to buy needed supplies, store them, plus make investments in precious metals, commodities, teach our families to also make preparations and basically use the time and resources we have to do the best we can do to get ready and prepare.

The second method is to buy sign making materials and store them in your attic.  When you are waiting on your roof for the gov’t to fly over, you will be prepared to communicate your desperate need to be rescued. This method is much less worrisome and certainly less costly.

I did the deed on two of the grown turkeys and now they are residing in the freezer rather than eating all the food in the coop. It's pretty cool to have my Thanksgiving meal grown on my own property. they are so big I'm going to need help eating them. Any takers?

I am expecting baby goats this week. My Bore goat is about as big as one can even imagine being. It rained last week and I expected her to give birth then because it seems they always give birth in the rain but it did not happen.

I'm ready to harvest the yams and peanuts I grew. This was the first year to try peanuts and it worked out just fine. I'm still in the market for one who can learn to make cheese. 

I’d like to make an update to allow you to know a few important points of note. This is not a ’I’ll tie you up and fuck you’ type of message;

I’m not overly optimistic about the world we live in. I remain hopeful but at the same time I am careful to protect those who depend on me. One might suggest the economy is tittering on the edge of a cliff. What will happen is very uncertain. Since our society is so interdependent, a disruption of any degree of seriousness could lead to major problems for those depending on what we have considered normal living conditions. In other words, if the trucks stop filling up the stores how do you expect to continue living?

In the Matrix, they asked do you want the red pill or the blue pill? Meaning, do you want to know the real world situation or remain a sheep, following the propaganda dished out to keep the masses under control?

There are those called ‘Preppers’ who are taking the time now to prepare for the possible coming hard times. Learning skills and building a structure that is as independent of society as possible. I fit into this definition and am seeking those who can embrace such a paradigm.  In the past few years I’ve discovered there are many like minded people all across the country, so I am not alone.

Obviously, being a kink minded dominant runs against the tide of most here. So, I’m a bit unique. If you look into what a genuine dominant is though, rather than being a top, a dominant is One who is proactive and takes responsibility. No excuses, right? I refuse to be dependent on the screw-ups of others and will take responsibility for my self and those who depend on me.

Besides developing skills in shibari or single tail usage, I’m interested in gardening, cheese making, food processing and preserving or animal husbandry. Call me crazy.

My ideal is a genuine cock whore who is eager to please me and also knows a bit about canning or gardening or is willing and eager to learn. 

 David

it's a beautiful morning with blue skies instead of the rain they predicted for the day. The chores are done and I've weeded the new onion bed and it all looks good. I'm heading for volleyball this afternoon. 

I'd love to have one to share the day with today and bring her home to torture and enjoy that process. The volleyball group is just not going to be where I find that girl. wink

It's been over 90 d the past two days, 96 d Wednesday. My garden is loving this little burst of warmth. Today will be mid 80's.

I'm getting two new goats this evening. Two yrs old girls. My buck is salivating. 

Happy Halloween people,

Do you have your pumpkins carved and ready to party now? I finished harvesting the last of the pumpkins yesterday. While fixing a broken water pipe, I found one more nice one to carve but doubt it will happen now.

The onions are coming up now, along with the peas and lettuce. The broccoli seem to be having a hard time getting started and I hope this changes because this is the favorite crop for me personally during the fall.

It was in the low 80's wed and thursday and going to rain this weekend, in the 60's and they say by mid week it will be back into the 80's again. Perfect weather for the garden and me. I'm sorry to hear about the snow already in parts removed,, hee hee hee.

Today  I harvested the last of the watermelons. How cool is that?

The tomatoes are still growing and producing nice red medium tomatoes.

The peppers are happy and in full bloom and should continue.

Home Depot had their 15 gal fruit trees marked down from$80 to $10. I bought 8 to add to the orchard. Pears, peaches, plums and apples will be a great addition to the produce here. 

I am happy to say my fall 'starts' are coming up and soon will be ready for transplanting into the grow boxes . It’s great to live and garden in an area that has year round growing seasons.

It’s a rainy day today. Sunday stuck in the house. A fire might be nice in the fireplace. So would some shared company. Does anyone care if the Philly’s or the Giants win tonight?

It?s my opinion that the submissive needs to approach, with respect and provide a reasonable introduction when they find a possible dominant. If you have no energy for sharing yourself, I certainly have no desire to try to pry it out of you.

I?ve recently completed the deck from my MBr.  I?ve been planning it for a year now. I surfaced it with black Brazilian slate, the same slate that is in the dungeon. Oh, how I love this slate! I?m also adding a new gazebo / entrance way which adjoins the deck. I?ll install a picture for those who care. 

Happy Holidays everyone.

The barn is painted and the floors are flat again. I?ve built a nice double St Andrews Cross, a rather cool horse and brand new spanking bench. I have installed a leather sling from the ceiling. I?ve also installed lighting and a sound system and now it?s an officially a kinky barn.

The plan now is to have a party and celebrate our common interests. The first party is scheduled for Friday, the 6^th of July.

I believe another idea should be put out there so any interested submissives should understand a principle that guides me and is important.

It?s my belief that a submissive needs to prove its worth and comes to me to show me how much value they can add to my life circumstances. I have no issue with a discussion or dialogue about whom and what I am. BUT, in the end, a submissive comes to me, impresses me with what s/he can do to provide value and improve my life circumstances and it?s the submissives responsibility to impress me.

This is my family, my home and my life you, as a submissive want to enter and join and belong to and if I don?t see your ability to respect me, to serve and to obey me, then it?s not going to happen. That also goes for any part of my family. I maybe a bit old guard but I expect you, as a submissive to come to me in humility and seek to be taught.

I have a perspective I want to share. It?s not an attempt to scare anyone but I believe a reality check is in order.  One thing I hear in many so called D/s relationships is that the submissive does not continue to get the dominance they seek over time. The power or control fades with time and familiarity. It?s a justifiable complaint.

I also find it curious when a submissive initially wants to engage with a dominant, they attempt to negotiate, indicating this or that or what is acceptable or not. It?s like the submissive wants to mold the dominant into what they are comfortable with or maybe possibly feels safe with. Later, down the road they wonder why this ?dominant? wades into a vanilla mode or possibly more vanilla than the Master they sought out.

My perspective is that a genuine and honest dominant is like a tiger in the jungle. If one chooses to engage with a tiger, they had better be ready to play by the tiger?s rules. There is really nothing you can do to change the nature of the beast and your only alternative is to accept the tiger?s system and to accept his power or not. If you choose to step into a place of vulnerability with the beast, you are no longer in control and honestly, isn?t that what a submissive seeks?

Someone said the last thing a submissive gets to decide is with whom they engage and within a power dynamic situation that should be the case.

Update;

The dungeon is now fairly complete. I built a cross, to add to the main room, with more shelves for candles. There isn?t a lot more room, even if I wanted to add something else.

I?ve begun to clean up and adapt the barn for another play space. I?ve brought electricity down to it and am wiring the entire place so it can be lit up. From the outside it will appear to be your ordinary 4 stall barn but inside will be a whole different experience.

The garden is in its second year and is progressing nicely. I am adding raised beds and lining them with a wire mesh that will prevent those pesky gophers from eating the roots. The fruit trees that were planted last year are full of fruit and will be a real bonus in the next few months. The freeze we had in Dec ? Jan took out a couple of avocado trees but two remain and are doing well. Some of the citrus were hurt too but all seem to be recovering and will live.

Recently, I made an attempt to define slavery on my journal.  This online expression raised some issues concerning my beliefs about slaves and their emotions.

It is obvious to me that everyone, slaves, subs and Master are all human and have valid emotions. At times these emotions cannot be controlled and are not controlled. Some of the emotions are negative, others positive. It is natural for a human to want his/her emotions to be validated, and in the case of a D/s relationship, the sub looks to the Master for validation.

Slaves are a special case. A slave, having given up or changed his or her humanity, can find pleasure and validation in his/her new life circumstances as a slave. Their challenge is to serve the Master and this can be done -should be done- without the Master needing to take the time to validate the slave?s efforts or emotions.

This being understood, a healthy Master will care for his property. A slave has value and should be cared for emotionally and physically.  A good Master will realize that a slave can have emotional problems that can be hindrances to proper service to the Master and that these emotional roadblocks need to be addressed. As the Master helps his slave to conquer her fears he is creating a better servant and healthy slave

A Master should devote his time and efforts to understanding and dealing with his slave?s emotions. With time and experience, unhealthy emotional reactions can be mitigated and the slave will live a more secure life of service and obedience.

This time of year brings us all back to the joys of being together with family and friends.

My goal is to create a family of like minded individuals, who both love to serve and enjoy the power dynamic of living in and with the Master they serve. Any who join must feel secure enough and be willing to both embrace and enjoy others who have this same desire, not finding in them a competitor but a friend and companion.

I have built a luxurious home on 4 acres of a private and tree filled estate with a large, permanent dungeon suitable for keeping and maintaining a happy family of kink and perverted adults. It?s not complete here but certainly habitable and enjoyable. There is always room for improvements.

I live in So California, which offers a great diversity of outdoor activities as well as generally warm, sunny weather. I enjoy the ocean, mountains and desert as the opportunities present themselves. I live an active life and enjoy weekly games of volleyball, rollerblading, dancing, well, you get the idea.

Feel free to introduce yourself if this resonates within you. 

There is a curious paradox in our lifestyle and those learning to experience it for the first time.

A Master / slave or submissive relationship may be the most intimate and intense sort of association available. It requires absolute trust and integrity between the partners. It goes both ways and each must have total confidence in the other.

Why do some who suggest they want to engage in such an intimate style of relationship approach it completely incapable of honestly sharing themselves, their capacity to engage or their real life circumstances?

One can not fake integrity.  But it seems those without it really do not understand that concept.

My frustration grows.

Defining Slavery: the ownership of one person by Another. The slave (s/he) is in all respects property and in subjugation to the Owner (Master) of the slave. The slave is not entitled to those ?rights? provided to free people. Those rights or privileges are determined by the Master. The use of time and talents for the slave is determined by the Master. The slave?s purpose is to serve and to obey. A slaves value is based on its abilities to perform at a high level. s/he voluntarily enters into this condition which means that s/he chooses to accept its total vulnerability to the Master and willingly accepts its complete dependency on Him. He assumes responsibility for all aspects of the slave?s life. In return s/he surrenders any and all independency and accepts the Master as its supreme power.  

Slavery is a condition in which the slave is helpless to resist the will of Another and is unable to free its self by its own efforts. By far the majority of so-called master/slave relationships should properly be described as master/servant relationships, since the literal difference between a servant and slave is that the servant can choose to leave service. The creation of an emotional and psychological bond which is so powerful that the slave literally cannot choose to leave is exactly what is meant by the word enslavement.

The slave lives to please and serve its Owner under any circumstance and at any time.  This implies that the slave should remain focused on its Master -- His safety, needs, and desires.  s/he will put Him first in any situation as long as that does not put the slave into any danger. The slave should ideally not show any anger or frustration, crankiness or any disruptive behaviors. Emotions or thoughts, while valid, should wait to be  expressed when s/he is directed to do so.  s/he should not show any disagreement with an order or wish from her Owner.  All orders should be promptly complied to and diligently executed.

One of the important lessons of slavery is learning how to accept the inevitable and to resign oneself to powerlessness as gracefully as possible. s/he should resign his or her self to its lot and devote its self to the service, contenting its self with the knowledge of her service, knowing that service unrewarded and unappreciated is service nonetheless. Slavery is not about the slave, and that a slave need not be praised to know s/he has served well.

Since many ask about training;

Training has two aspects. One is to help a person change their paradigm from that of being free to being owned. The second is to teach the slave exactly how to serve properly and to become exacting in its behavior.

Everyone is unique and what needs to happen is based on both what the slave needs plus what touches them. their ego is a challenge in changing their basic perspective. How that change happens should be costumed tailored to changing them internally and also helping them discover how to find a peaceful place in their life of service.

I personally have a wide range of interests. What I do with one may blow another?s mind. I am very psychologically minded and use my sadistic desires to break off the pieces of an ego that needs to go. Just trust me on that. I would never harm someone. Pain or suffering, on the other hand, isn't an issue for me.  

I post this as an example of the proper attitude a perspective slave should exhibit.

Sweet Sir, dearest David,
   ?. i feel you have the ability to guide me to achieve more then i can imagine at this time. ?i hope to give up my concerns to you. ?i hope to fill my days with honest toil that my nights sleep will be valuable to me. i will have no time to waste. i only wish to share with you my desire to go to sleep knowing i have performed well for you.
   i wish I knew how to tell so that I might be more pleasing to you. There are so many things that i see as lacking in me, so much work i haven't done, i am afraid you will decide I am not worth the time to train.
   i wish to please you.    i am out of shape. i do not wish to be. i wish to be able to stand in front of you with pride. Not perfect but healthy and strong, pleasing to you. i read your words of your exercise room. i am looking forward to your guidance. i know it will not be easy for me.

    i do not come to you hoping to be your one and only, or soul-mate. i come hoping to be allowed to try to please you. i come hoping to ease your life's burdens. i want to quickly become for you what you would have me be. my mind says a year before i can even begin to be a slave. i come to you a disaster of self centered indulgence. i come to you begging for help to become pleasing to you. i hope i can become proof of your ability to find and train a good slave.
     Thank you for your time and attention, dawnsue

I miss the connection that can come from the journey when two engage in an intense interplay of taking and giving were both unite together. one seeks to embrace with passion what Another wants her to accept that requires sacrifice and submission. The end results are an indescribable bonding of mind and body. Oh, how I miss that bonding!

Those who know me are aware I have had a long distance relationship w a female submissive. Even though we were only together a few times a year, it has been a very meaningful relationship for both of us. Now, that is done. She has decided D/s doesn?t fit into her priorities and I am feeling really sad and alone. ( added July 30th, senta has come to the conclusion she can't be happy without being submissive to me. Wink)

Asked what I enjoy.

Life is full of different experiences and I want to make the most of even common events. I love good food so that necessitates cooking. I?m fairly particular about what I eat so I am willing to put effort into my food preparation. I prefer to do that with another or to watch. I also enjoy going out to dinner. Mexican, Thai, Italian, or Chinese are my favorites.

I greatly value intelligence. I expect to interact with others who can dialogue on many interesting topics and who can keep up.

I have a need to be creative. I?m expressing that at the moment through the remodeling of my home. I have high standards and am creating my dream home and environment.

I was born to explore. When hiking I much prefer to be off trail, discovering a water fall or lake or vantage point others may not find. I think ?intensity? is the right word to describe it. Whether in the out-of-doors or in the dungeon, let?s keep it stirred up!

I was asked to describe the dungeon so I?ll share this with all.

When I moved in here, next to my home was a guest house. I have converted this home into what is affectionately known as the dungeon. It was the typical two bedroom home, about 1000 sq ft. w yuck shag carpet and brown paneling. That has all gone to the dump.

The dungeon now has black Brazilian slate floors, grey painted walls, with many candles, black leather-like curtains, charcoal ceilings, 2 jail cells,  cages, benches, suspension devices, and a few hard to describe instruments of torture. The main room has black leather furniture. Though, protocol requires submissives to use the leather cushions and sit on the floor. There are many swivel eye hooks designed to hold or secure someone to, and yes, chains and more chains. The metal doors can be locked with double cylindered dead bolt locks.

The Master?s bedroom has black lacquer dressers with no clothes. They are filled with various toys and leather restraints.  

The bathroom incorporates the slate floor and is all new and remodeled.

 There is also a tree in back, hollowed out with chains and spreader bars connected to the many winding branches, available for outdoor adventures.

I thought an update was in order.  I?ve gone to war against the gopher population here. I had to rid the garden of those pesky critters and I?ve moved out into the orchard now. Rhino, my yellow lab has embraced this attack with passion. A bit too much at times, digging up the traps that are placed into the gofer?s holes. He has never actually caught anything but when a trap comes out of the ground with a gofer, he is highly excited and helped kill one off yesterday.

My new vegetable garden is progressing now that the gofer/ rabbit/ doggie fence is in place. The property here was over run with gofers and I didn?t want to do the work of planting, nurturing and growing vegetables just to have them disappear into the ground or have the rabbits nibble off the tops. I feel secure now with the possibilities and look forward to a harvest of fresh vegetables in a month or two. Each morning now I am planting another bed or carrots or beets or lettuce. This seems like an appropriate activity for a submissive.

Yesterday I installed the irrigation system for the new fruit trees. At the end of the day I felt great to sit back and enjoy the progress the garden has taken. I am bit sad to be doing this work by myself. I?d much prefer to have some slave work force supplementing my efforts and to be sharing the joy of creating such a wonderful space.

Inside, I just finished installing and painting the new French doors that replaced the old slider door. The dining room hutch is now painted and ready for the new glass doors. And the new bathroom pocket door has been hung and painted. I?m ready to begin the water supply system. I?m looking around and wondering how to find someone who is good at house cleaning. I?m such a good dust maker! I really need a good house cleaner who can take pride in making the home a pristine environment and showing me how good they can be.

I?d like to clear up what seems to be a misconception.

A number of people have mentioned they felt I am too experienced for them or I want someone who has more experience than they felt they had. 

I am interested in and attracted to those with integrity and who have a sincere interest in a journey into submission. I would love to walk that path with you. I have the understanding to assist in your journey and make it a healthy and successful one. I won't stress over how much training is required. I actually would delight in the process of teaching you and helping you grow.

This process isn?t just about what I want from you. It is about meeting the needs of each and that is done through experience and communication and growing together.

A simple thought for those wishing to communicate with me; please have the integrity to be who you suggest you are.

I imagine that the desire to submit to Another must be a very provocative one and brings up all sorts of fantasies and wonderful sensations. For some, this is a very fleeting desire and they find it curious to play with others in order to enjoy this fantasy, for whatever reason and then they run away, back to their real life and forget their fantasies until they surface again. How often that happens only they know.

For those of us who actually want a lifestyle, this behavior brings frustration and resentment. One asks of us to share all the details of a Ds life and want to examine Our ethics and motives and skills, which is great to share to an interested party. For me, dealing with those who haven?t the ability to commit to an alternate lifestyle and are only using the dialogue for their personal ?sexual high? is extremely frustrating. This behavior is invasive and smacks on abuse.

If you can?t bring yourself to talk on the phone or share real life circumstances or plan to meet in real time, please examine your behavior and ask yourself why you want to simply pretend to be someone else? You know who you are. Get a grip or find some place to hide your face until you have the guts to get a life.

I have another topic to share.

keith now lives here, if only on a temporary basis. I met him via a local e-group. he was displaced and needed a place to stay while regrouping his life. I have needed someone who could handle the cleaning up of the home environment. It seems I am better at installing carpet or moldings than I am at cleaning and dusting. Since the elusive submissive/slave is still at large, keith was willing to provide his services in exchange for a bed and a place to stay. It seems a good match. he is kink aware so my lifestyle choices are not an issue. he is fine with keeping the dungeon dusted and clean, as well as the normal household sorts of things.

It will be curious to see how having another in the home will work for me. I?m use to having the place to myself. he is extremely friendly and very open to a dialogue. This could be fun.

The exercise room is finally complete. I started it more than 6 weeks ago. The project was derailed because a dog came on the property, attacked Drake, who ended up in surgery, wearing a lamp shade around his neck. What became painfully clear was I needed some fencing to keep others out and my beasts on the property. This was no minor thing. I have four acres and a good deal was open. So now, many fence post holes later and some real experience in fence erection, I am feeling much more secure behind new chain link fences. And the little beasties are free to run with no fear of intrusion or them leaving their territory.

Once that was complete I was able to return my attention to the new exercise room. Over the past few days I installed the carpet and yesterday installed the floor moldings. Wow. Now I can begin to bring in equipment and to actually use the space. Kind of cool!

Someone suggested I share more of my humanness.

I do so love gardening. I can get lost in the evening, after work, caring for and enjoying a session of fun/work managing my vegetable garden. I?ve recently moved back on to this property and have a great deal to do, but one thing that will happen is the remaking of a productive and wondrous garden. My first order of business is to create a space and I need a fence to define that because of the many varmints, i.e. go-fers and rabbits seem to thrive here.

San Diego has many great places to enjoy.  One is the Balboa Park, with the San Diego Zoo. I have a annual pass to the Zoo. This allows me to go in for a few hours as often as I like. During the summer months, I enjoy going down in the late evening, watch the animals come to life again after the crowds have gone and just enjoy the cool of the evening in that environment. I love the hippo pool, watching them swim always amazes me.

The San Diego bay has so many attractions but one that especially attracts me is the cement walkway that surrounds the bay. I can begin by the estuary and rollerblade for miles around the bay, all the way to the channel opening and then come down the board walk that fronts the ocean. During the summer months it?s fun to watch all the tourists in their black shoes and white socks who show up from Iowa or parts east. I wonder if they have people from California show up to look at their corn fields?  I actually, stay as far away from tourists as I can get. I do love the smell of the ocean and the breeze as I ?fly? across the ground. I love holding hands while blading too.

Each Sunday afternoon I meet with and enjoy a group who play volleyball on the grass at the east end of the bay. It is fairly competitive and something I rarely miss. I pay for it on Monday mornings. 

During the summer I enjoy getting away from the city. I have many favorite places that I can go ?camping.? Just so you know, this isn?t considered a primitive activity. We may sleep near the ground, but it is comfortable and the food is exceptional. I?ve raised camping to an art form. I love the camp fires and hiking and all that goes with it but I refuse to live on hot dogs or sandwiches. I do some of my best cooking in a Dutch-oven while in the forests, at the beach or in the deserts. There is something special about having a blue berry coffee cake with hashbrowns and hot coffee around a warm morning fire.  Or, maybe pineapple upside down cake after some nice broiled chicken and veg?s. My favorite is chicken and dumplings. I must be getting hungry. 

A guide line to making contact. 

Before sending a ?hi, how are you?? type of email please do some self evaluation. Then send a simple biography which includes the following; 

*Include some examples of past Ds experiences that have taught you the meaningfulness of this lifestyle. Either positive or negative examples are fine but include your personal evaluations. If no real experiences exist, share fantasies.   

*Current life circumstances; relationships, work commitments, living situation, the reasons you are able to relocate if an appropriate situation is available, skills and talents you offer.

*Goals; short term and long term goals and how a Ds lifestyle will work to enhance your life situation. How do you feel about being in a family environment w others who value your desires?

If this seems too difficult, ask yourself how important is my interest? Any self respecting dominant will want this information so having it available shows your real intent.

Answering the question of why one, like my self, would want to be Master to another;

There are a number of reasons. My initial feeling is probably the same as one, considering submission. It is natural and something I enjoy, sexually and otherwise. I have been more than normally responsible all of my life. When in a group, I end up in charge, if the group begins leaderless. I am a teacher by nature too.  I like demonstrating how to do something or teaching others. Besides the naturalness of it, I find Ds extremely intimate and I very much enjoy using my power to create closeness between myself and another.  Because of my psychological understanding of people, I see them more clearly. As I interact with people, most are unable, (consciously or unconsciously) to be open or revealing.  My personality causes me to be ?in their face? a bit to pry out their secrets or less than desirable issues. I am just not willing to live in a vague world, even when some think of it as romantic or enticing.

I am a bit anal too. I like things just so. I have high standards. Some might say I am hard to please, or a bit picky. I also enjoy proper protocol. It is very nice for me to see someone show respect, especially when done in an extreme manner. I am sadistic too. I enjoy it when someone willingly suffers some humiliation in order to serve me as I require. I believe being demanding is a good thing for me. I?ve lived in a world of accepting others poor standards too long and I need to have my choices validated. I also feel I deserve the nurturing and care-giving a submissive can offer me.

I?m comfortable being in charge. I like making decisions and have wisdom enough to manage life effectively. I have done well in my life and am not bogged down with many of the ?addictions? other seem to follow in order to enhance their lives. In other words, I can make decisions based on good, basic principles. I mention this because many seem to have lost the ability to manage their lives without weakness or by using good judgment. I also am a self starter. I don?t need another in order to get things done. I can take over a project or group of people and get things rolling and to complete the job. I?ve done it by buying business? that had failed and rebuilt them or properties and I can do it with human lives, given the raw materials.

The last comment is about my nature. I am kinky. I enjoy intensity. I am bored w normal. I need a lot to keep my attention and Ds is on the cutting edge of intensity. It challenges my abilities and I like that. It is like making up life as I go along. I find it fulfilling to continually enjoy new and provoking systems to challenge another and it is extremely sexual to me. I enjoy a climax as much as anyone but Ds allows that sexual experience to begin and last almost indefinitely. It isn?t about just the finish, but about the whole process. And I like it that way.

the goal of submission

Date:   10/31/2002

Dear Sir,

During O/our discussion this morning, W/we explored the ultimate goal of submission.  In my mind, i compared the goals of psychoanalysis to the goals of submission.  In psychoanalysis, a patient learns over time to bring forth fears, desires, fantasies, and hurts.  With the help and insight of the analyst, the patient works through issues and confronts and overcomes defenses and maladaptive behaviors all in an effort to reveal a genuine self.  A genuine self is one that is open, accepting, grounded, vulnerable, secure, giving, and able to experience joy in a world that provides moments of happiness as opposed to a constant state of bliss.  Life is celebrated when one is able to accept the joys that are offered with a simple generosity of spirit.  It is developing the ability to rejoice in simple pleasures and the ability to see beauty in many things.  Defenses and resistances prevent us from taking in and embracing the very things we need most in life.

     In psychoanalysis, the analyst systematically confronts defenses, helping the patient tear down walls of resistance.  Eventually, the patient is completely exposed and bared in the analysis, undefended and vulnerable, willing to submit to the guidance and wisdom of the analyst in working through issues.  Once defenses have been overcome and the patient feels he/she has explored and exposed all aspects of self and revealed a genuine self, the analysis is considered finished.  The hope is that the patient, who has learned to trust, be open and vulnerable, present a genuine self, and develop a deep intimacy with the analyst, will be able to go out into the world and create this kind of meaningful and intimate relationship with others.

Since the question comes up repeatedly, I want to post my situation and position;

Yes, I am real. I am sincerely searching for those who both need and want to be owned in a healthy, mutually supporting environment.

Yes, I have a real dungeon. And no, that doesn?t make me crazy. Unusual.  Intense. Devoted too, but not crazy.

Yes, I live alone at this time, except for two dogs.

Who and what I seek will understand and realize that they can be part of my life, cared for and loved  This person will live with me in my home, cook with me, go dancing with me, nurture me, provide welcome service to me, and feel secure that I own and care for them unconditionally. 
 

I?ve never done well being put in someone else?s box. So I am building my own box, one that fits me. It may be what others want or it may not. But it is my design and fits me well.  This is why I own my own dungeon.     Wink.

What a submissive is and isn?t:
(this topic seems to resurface often. These thoughts are written be senta but posted here because I agree w them.)

one who seeks to explore the development of intimacy in a relationship by working through and giving up defenses, thereby laying bare his/her self in a desire to be fully known, exposed, and understood.

one who desires to grow as an individual by confronting self-destructive issues and impulses with the guidance and help of a Master with the ultimate goal of leading a healthier life.

one who desires to transcend ego needs through devotion and service to another with the understanding that experiencing selflessness allows the submissive to explore and develop aspects of self in relation to the world that deepen his/her connection to simply being a part of the world as opposed to controlling aspects of his/her existence.

one who has a sincere desire to accept guidance and direction and who understands that submission is a psychological, emotional, physical, sexual and spiritual state.

one who understands that the development of submission requires tremendous strength and spirit and that the journey towards submission will create character, psychological and spiritual health and personal happiness and serenity.

one who freely chooses to explore and eventually accept surrender and submission understanding that submission is a choice.

one who works hard to explore, understand and develop submission with appropriate boundaries which leads to an enriched quality of life with the understanding that attempting to lead an alternative lifestyle requires a great deal of personal insight, thinking through, self-awareness and accepting of personal responsibility for making such a choice.

one who ensures that the personal choice to explore and develop a D/s relationship does not harm others either physically, emotionally or spiritually whenever possible while remaining true to his/her own needs.

one who understands that truth and honesty are the foundation of a healthy relationship.

What a submissive isn't:

one who gets needs met by performing submissive acts in order to receive rewards and validation.

one who repeats patterns of self-destructive and/or self-abusive behaviors thereby remaining in pathological relationships.

one who manipulates, orchestrates, or demands conditions for submission or the development of intimacy in order to meet self-interests.

one who simply desires control regarding sexuality. This more closely defines a bottom.

one who acts out maladaptive behaviors and psychological processes from a place of weakness based on past injuries and trauma recreating negative dynamics in the Master/sub relationship.

one who accepts the control and authority of Another based on low self-esteem, fear, exploitation or coercion.

one who does not take responsibility for his/her choice to explore D/s relationships.

one who myopically enters a power exchange relationship with no regard to the needs of self or others both within and outside of the D/s relationship.

A quick update on the dungeon?s remodel;

In the past month, the new bathroom has been completed, with the black slate floor and all new fixtures. The new kitchen window is now in place, with walls painted and decked out. Last week I insulated the entire 1000 ft of ceiling which helps keep the heat in and allows for submissives to run around naked, without complaining about warmth.

The last old window has finally been removed and I am building in a new pop-out or ?display? window. It will allow a place to put one or two who need a chance to be revealed or displayed, (or humbled). Can you imagine how nice it would be to drive up to the home as an invited guest to a play party and see a lovely naked slave being displayed for the world to see? Or, more accurately, for the guests to see?  Maybe the question to ask is how you would feel being so displayed?

A few thoughts that help define your enslavement;

Enslaved to Me, you change from a normally free individual in many ways. These include the loss of control over the use of time or talents. Once so enslaved, you are instructed in what you will do and when it is done. you have few innate rights. Instead, you may receive gifts from the Master you serve. These gifts are available based on My good graces. Sleeping in a bed or the use of a toilet or even bowls and utensils are shared with you, or not, depending on My desires. you are invited into a Masters home. It is not your home. you are now a part of My possessions, just as the dog or furniture or car. As a good tool might be used to build fine furniture, you are at the disposal of My designs. When I have need of your talents or want to develop a new talent, you, as a slave will respond as any other tool might do, simply, easily and without resistance. Eager to please and energetic in all you do.

you no longer have the option of being moody or unfriendly. you are required to serve with a happy disposition. you must show by your behavior that you appreciate your life and perform in all ways to be pleasing and useful. you discover there is no limit to what you will do to serve perfectly.

you now are 100 % accountable to Me. This means you must be transparent in all communications. you will never attempt to mislead or not share that which is significant. No matter the consequences you will be self revealing. It is important to you that, as the Master you serve, I know everything I should know and your duty is to share that with Me. I will own your thoughts, your emotions, actions, your soul. None can be kept from me.

I will become the object of your life. All of your world will revolve around Me. In reality, you will come to worship Me and do so by striving with every ounce of energy you possess to seek My approval by being perfect in your obedience and respectfulness. In time the enslavement process will make it impossible for you to separate yourself from Me.

I?d like to present a concept that may seem redundant to even mention, but my experiences have shown me that it is appropriate.

I am seeking those who know that their enslavement is a life style they both need and have accepted as permanent. I want to interact with those who already know what they require to find their place in life and realize that the one thing missing is to find the right dominant.

My goal is to guide you down a road that will lead to your total surrender and a life of uncompromising service. I find it very rewarding to help someone, who has enough self-awareness, to discover a life changing experience and become fulfilled as a slave, hopefully for the duration. Of course, that will depend on many variables but beginning before some of life?s pitfalls create too much drama can be a very good thing.

The end result will be one of total commitment and devotion to a life of challenges and fulfillment, rarely found any other way.

The lady came and the lady left. The only explanation is that she doesn?t think Ds is the lifestyle she wants to live. She would marry me but doesn?t want to be my slave. The discussion lasted all of three minutes and she said she will return to pick up her stuff.

I?m blown away!

I am currently seeking a male/female slave. Not only a submissive but someone who wants the intense living situation of being owned and serving as directed. I have a place to keep you and many things for you to do to help serve me.  You will live as an enslaved individual and as part of my household. My preference is someone youthful in attitude, moldable, who realizes this as a permanent way of life for them and is eager to move deeply into an enslaved headspace.

Today, (Thursday) a new ?slave in training? arrives to begin the enslavement process that will remake her into a high-quality and respectable female servant.

I met her through this collarme site, after she read my profile and approached me. Because of my understanding and skills related to the psychological and physical training of a slave she has asked that I take her on as a trainee.

We have met twice before now. She will come to me with the understanding that during the next month she will surrender to my will completely and learn to serve without hesitation or judgment. At the end of the first month a process of evaluation will take place in which she will have the opportunity to judge her ?satisfaction scale?. Assuming she is fulfilled with her new life, she will at that point commit to My long term, complete ownership.

I am not one who would desire a slave to serve me with an unhappy attitude but I also know that both becoming enslaved and serving Another is not an easy task. I encourage anyone who has a need to be enslaved to experience it without judgment for a period of time, then process it or evaluate it at a time of no/low stress or conflict. Too many want to try something out and then when it gets tough, immediately judge and run away. The nation wouldn?t have an arm forces if the military allowed this short sighted system.

This one was on collarme as ?completeme?. Rather than using collarme, she will have a blog available for the public to view. I will post its address in the next few days. She is 35y/o, fairly new to the lifestyle, though has deep seated needs to be owned as a slave. I will continue using this journal to post my observations. I strongly suggest you follow her journey through the posting of her experiences.

My primary goal is creating a family of mutually supportive people who both value the lifestyle and feel care and concern for each other.  I have a loving and nurturing environment here where each can prosper and grow to their full potential. Those perspective individuals who consider fitting into this family will be individuals who can value both their own needs and as well as support others desires. This requires releasing selfishness for the greater good of the family. There isn?t room here for what I refer to as the ?princess mentality?, where one feels a need to be so ?special? above all else.

How this will play out will depend a lot on who the individuals are and that is yet to be determined. What is set in stone is that each must desire a healthy and mature interaction with others and be willing to release or sacrifice personal weaknesses and work through them, willing to experience the growing pains necessary to have a healthier perspective and relationships. It isn?t for the weak, ?take me as I am? mentality.

This isn?t so much about wanting a kinky life, but wanting a loving and healthy life where kink permeates it and is mutually advantageous.  

Let me give you a general overview of my perspective.

My personal blueprint is one of taking / receiving pleasure from a Ds style of life. For many reasons, which include being a very responsible person, enjoying the teaching and guidance of others, of ritual and sacrifice, the nature of control just seems to fit me and the pleasure I receive from being honored and respected all contribute to the success I feel as a Dominant.

It is my belief that a Ds relationship is about change, growth, and transformation.  A renovation of the slave from what s/he once was to becoming what the Master wants her/him to be. This process involves a journey that merges the souls of two individuals into One of unity and purpose where the Master guides and the slave embraces the experience and becomes one with the Master.

My belief is that enslavement encompasses ?time? and life now belongs to the One. The goals and reasons for existence are to be dedicated to serving and pleasing the One. All that  s/he does or even thinks is to show true dedication and devotion to the goals and desires on the One who is willing to accept her/his service. The slave should understand that a slave owns nothing and in fact is owned as property. it should cherish the opportunity to be owned and valued by One who compliments his/her slavery with Dominance.

 As a slave you should gladly do and be what the Master/Mistress wants you to be. This is not about what you want but about being obedient and teachable. It should be your desire to learn to enjoy that which is most appealing to the One, as the One that owns you. The slave now finds its satisfaction in bringing pleasure to the One s/he serves. That which was once her/his sexual energy needs to now be focused towards the Owners entertainment, service and devotion. It is apparent to me that a slave must learn to follow, accept and embrace with no limitations or expectations, relying instead upon the Master?s best judgment. The reason a slave has chosen to embrace slavery is because of its need to be structured and led.

I am aware of your humanity and imperfections.  As a Master I do battle with your many ego needs or defenses. They have controlled you to create many resistances and insecurities which need to be surrendered to the One. It is my hope that proper motivation, training and discipline will eradicate those obstacles so that you may be acceptable as a proper slave. your hope should be, that with MY guidance you may embrace slavery and become exactly what I desire in a slave. The development of proper attributes and qualities is the goal here, not simply obedience.

After many discussions with Collarme devotees, I wanted to offer some thoughts regarding priorities.

I have a full awareness of who and what I am. I am not afraid of it or am I ashamed to share it with those who show an interest. I don?t broadcast the life style I live to all but I don?t hide it either. My family of origin is aware, though they don?t understand it. The lifestyle isn?t possible to understand unless you have an internal desire and feel it flow through you. Others can only view it from an external perspective. They (anyone) can accept me for who I am and deal with our commonalties if they chose or reject me completely.

What I expect from anyone who really wants to live a full and rich life is that they are able to set the proper priorities. As a slave that means your enslavement supercedes all else.  That doesn?t mean you stop being a parent or employee. It does mean that all of life now is viewed through the eyes of an enslaved individual.  How you earn a living can?t be nearly as important as your enslavement. What you do for entertainment is now based on Another?s decisions. Your whole life surrenders to the One. 

Desiring to be an enslaved individual and unwilling to surrender your current life circumstances is a failed paradigm. To embrace slavery, you will need to accept new living circumstances. It is just the way it is. Hoping to find a Master who will enable you to remain in your present life?s situation is a wonderful dream, but unrealistic. I wish you good luck. If your home, employment, family, what ever has more attraction than your full enslavement to Another,  chances are you are living in fantasy land and will never embrace what you suggest in your profiles.

Am I intense? Yes, it seems so. Are the cages ready? Yes, they are. I have the ability to take you there. I have an understanding of what it takes to really create a slave from a free person. I have a healthy perspective that will keep you physically safe and secure and growing towards what you suggest is your goal, to become a happy slave to a Master who really gets it.

A word of advice;

When getting to know someone who is new and really an unknown entity watch and believe what they show you by their behavior, not by what they say or type. Most will reveal themselves pretty quickly and it is your job to believe what you see. If you fail to observe them, you have no complaints when the real person emerges behind their phony words, or more commonly, they just disappear all together.

Most here realize that the internet has brought out a huge number of people, pretending to be something they are not. They are attempting to live a fantasy with words and their imagination. Their real world must be rather small and confining for them, not what they can have when in ?pretend? mode and on line.

Add to this awareness, the fact that most so called dominants are in fact very insecure men, (mostly) who put on a powerful face to play their games of attention getting. They have no personality base from which to bring out responsible qualities or a nature based on their intrinsic character. Other than the internet, they are not living lives of personal power or control. It should be no surprise then, when they are rejected they respond with their childish anger or their jealous tantrums. If they were more secure why would they attempt to ?collar? submissives on line before any real meeting takes place? The first thing one does when someone gives them attention is to tell them no more contact w other dominants. If they really wanted a submissive to mature in the understanding, what harm can be done with more dialogue. They are more afraid of losing them to others playing the same game as them.

That?s my two cents worth for today

The Advantages of having a Master

Being a slave requires having a Master. Without one, a slave is only a lonely, wandering sub, with no central guidance system in her life.

As a sub learns to focus on her new owner, a Master provides a centering mechanism for her life. He provides training, nurturing, and responsibility for her. She looks to him as her focal point, her primary point of reference, and the Master of her universe, her supreme-being, one who leads and provides meaning to her life. In all things she honors Him, seeks to please Him, and obeys Him. His desires become her reason for living. The slave finds joy and satisfaction in his presence. Her pleasure comes when experiencing complete surrender to her Master. She can focus on Him in all that she does. While away from Him, she will still feel the ?leash?, being connected and profoundly aware of His constant control in her life. She is His property in every real sense. She is 'high' in His presence.  her heart beats fast, her breath catches, and  she awaits His commands as if the entire world stops in anticipation

If the Master truly considers this person to be his property then her failures become His failures, her inability to overcome her self-destructive habits become His problems because He has assumed ultimate responsibility for them. Of course, He may, as part of His responsibility, teach her to succeed or to solve her problems herself. When something goes wrong in the relationship, the Master will assume responsibility because He see themselves, correctly, as the one who holds the power, the one who is ultimately responsible and in control.

This sort of relationship can be profoundly fulfilling if being owned is what you desire. Even though there is the human problems; hassles, difficulties and personal demons, the slave feels complete and at peace in a way that very few people ever do. At rock bottom, at the core, she is extremely secure. In addition to the peace aspect, part of the fulfillment is also how intensely exciting and perverted it is to be living out your life at one extreme end of the power spectrum. There is a non-stop low level undercurrent of sexuality that is always there between you during the most mundane experiences. The master orders his property to do something and  both feel that pleasurable thrill: the slave because she must obey, Him because she must and will be obeyed.

A most important advantage of a relationship where the power roles are extreme and clear cut is that you have none of those nasty power struggles, fighting, manipulation, and nastiness so endemic to vanilla relationships.  A slave eventually learns that when she argues with Him she cannot expect to "win" anything. After her venting, He decides what is to be done about the issue in question, just as He always does. Any attempt at manipulation doesn't work with Him. There is no way a slave can make His behavior conform to her desires and expectations. Likewise, he has no need to play manipulative little head games with her. He owns her and can do anything he likes with her.  If a slave fails to do what her master says, He punishes her in a way that motivates her not to disobey again. End of story. No complex manipulative messiness is needed when the power is so polarized.

As a slave, you can relax and stretch out and bask in your Master?s care and protection, and that's a wonderful feeling. The dominant feels his own sense of security, assuming His slave is the strong and trustworthy sort. He owns this person absolutely, she isn't going anywhere or doing anything without His permission, she?ll always be there loving and serving Him and trying to be more and more of what He wants because she has committed herself to being His property.

Could someone explain to me what an online Ds relationship is? How can someone submit to another when the only connection between them is a computer and phone line?

Some gal advertised her desire for a tickling fetish but when confronted said she only wanted it to be on line. How does one tickle another on line?

This is craziness.
oh, good answer; it is like fantasy football!

I want to explain what I mean by my designation of ?Bi?. I have an interest in a male slave. If and when I acquire one he will serve me as I require and that includes sexual satisfaction. This is a one way street for him, meaning he will provide service to me with no expectations of it returning to him. It is my belief that male submissives / slaves forfeit their own personal sexual gratification and are fulfilled/ satisfied with Another?s control and the service they give. I would expect a male slave to wear a chastity device, more or less on a permanent bases. It is just the way it is.

I have been accused of being extreme. I don?t see it that way. What I envision is a life as Master and the total enslavement of another. A slave is owned. I intend to own them. It is an extreme life experience. It isn?t too extreme, simply what it is. I?m not looking for just kinky sex or a girl friend that has some sense of power or powerlessness.

I?m not mean or abusive. My goal here is to own and control a slave. It is just who and what I am. Period.

I find it interesting, when speaking to those who profess a deep need to serve (?), that there are few who continue a dialogue when actual work is discussed.  There are many who want to be caged, beaten and sexually enjoyed. But life is mostly full of work, not sex, not attention getting activities.

 Why is it that the concept of raking leaves, washing cars, dusting or mopping isn?t just as rewarding when done to please the One as the concept of uselessly being caged or chained?

For those interested in a possible lifestyle interaction with me, there needs to be a full understanding that your service will cover all aspects of life and that time is used to fulfill my life?s desires, which is to live in a clean, well mannered way. you will be used to accomplish that goal.

For those who chose to respond, my suggestion is that you return a positive reaction with a note about yourself. Specifically address the topic of why becoming a slave is right for you and what attracts you to such a goal in life? Please be pro-active in revealing your self rather than coy. It may seem cute but does little to promote understanding or good communication.

Regarding the sexuality of a slave;

A slave is defined by its obedience and the intensity of its desire to please the One. Service is based on what is required of it. A slave has the opportunity to grow in its ability to perfect its obedience in any of the challenges placed before it. Whether the slave considers something erotic or not, it has little choice in the matter. its purpose is to obey and to do so at the highest possible lever of performance. As a slave develops its ability to transcend its personal ego centered desires and uses its talents to continually grow in perfecting its capacity in pleasing the One, it matures in its slaving and submission. Satisfaction comes as it releases to the universe its resistances and strives to obey with a perfect mindset, one devoted to the pleasure of its Owner.

For the real slave, service is sexual. Pleasing Another is sexual. Enslavement is sexual. That which is required of it is sexual. The slave no longer defines its own sexuality but is defined by the Master it serves.

My opinion regarding approaching a dominant that has attracted your attention;

I?m been most impressed with those who introduce themselves and who include a fairly through biography that includes their current life circumstances, past erotic experiences that have to do with their desire for a Master / slave relationship and their goals and desires associated with their profile on collarme.

It shows a sincere desire to reveal themselves and to be open and honest. It allows me a quick view to determine some basic information and understand their situation.

Those who require playing ?20 questions? to know them suggest that the game is more about getting attention than finding and beginning a real relationship.

I?d like to clearly restate my goals, based on some conversations and emails I?ve exchanged with those looking for a relationship;

I am seeking one, or maybe two who have a need to be owned and directed in their life. For what ever reason they have determined that serving Another?s needs and being guided and taught by Him is what they need. It must be more than a want and it must be level ?one? of life?s priorities for them.

This person, the one who seeks to be trained and enslaved must be available to commit in all ways; emotionally, spiritually, mentally, physically. This isn?t a part time, get-around-to-it sort of activity. Their goals must be to find that place of their total  submission and surrender to the One they can respect and obey.

I am not seeking a wife, a girl/friend or mother. In the end she may be all three but certainly not based on her goals but based on the intimate relationship that ensues. I am aware there is no more intimate and revealing type of relationship than that of Master and slave. Its wonderful dynamics are for me, the best and most enduring and authentic. I have also learned that it is important to develop the relationship of Master to slave as the primary stage of development and that love follows as they serve each others needs.

I suggest you not fear or take lightly this opportunity to be revealed and to discover the joys of total vulnerability to One who can know you perfectly. If any of this resonates within you and you feel it, even if unnerves your senses, be honest with your desires.

A note to those with children;

I happen to love children.  I have raised more than a few of my own. But now, in my home ,with the type of environment I am creating, young children are not welcome here. They can not consensually agree to live in an environment where adults are openly collared, naked or caged or openly disciplined. In my opinion, it isn?t good for children to witness what is openly displayed here and I am not going to live behind bedroom doors.

If you live locally and are interested in relating or interacting here and your children can live in your own home, then that is certainly a possibility. But I will not consider having young children live here.

I also believe that if you have children and they are an active part of your life, you should mention them in your profile.

A quick update. The  dungeon is getting a new and improved bathroom and shower and the kitchen got a new window as well. The play space is filling with new tools, yet needs some toys to be used on?..a toy with a nice fleshing ass would be wonderful.

I?ve recently finished two of Guy Baldwin?s books, SlaveCraft and The Ties That Bind, both of which I recommend. Slave Craft is presented from the perspective of how a slave can take responsibility for being the best slave it can be. I agree with the concept. Guy does not believe that overt humiliation is a healthy behavior or builds self esteem in a slave and suggests more positive approaches to reinforce the slave?s growth. I happen to agree with that also. I recommend both books, but Slave Craft first, to aspiring slaves.

I have a question to pose to anyone willing to offer your opinion;

I am interested in what you consider to be humiliating and give specific examples.

I?d also enjoy if you would share why that example is humiliating to you?

Becoming a slave to Another means adopting His standards and His life as your own, fitting in to what He requires. I am aware that finding a Master that fits is a hard thing for a submissive person. I?d like  you to know I am more than a kinky person seeking a slave to abuse. It is my desire to take responsibility for one who loves to serve Another and make their life a better place to be.

I am creating a home environment here where I can live as healthily as possible. I?m planting fruit trees so in the future they will provide a continuing source of fresh fruit. I have established a large garden to provide fresh vegetables also. The home site is clean and improving so living here is a real pleasure.

My hope and desire is to encourage a blending of all aspects of life in to a beautiful and healthy experience, included of course is the Master/slave dynamic. I seek is another who also wishes to live a full life, based on a paradigm of healthy interactions and growth, as well as a service orientation.

I have a feeling of sorrow as I speak to so many who want to be taken in slavery yet are stuck in their present circumstances. If living enslaved is your life, then, in my opinion a ?hope to be slave? should let all else go and follow his/her goal that will lead to that enslavement. And let the rest of life follow as it may. The Master / slave relationship should be and will be that which defines your life. How one earns money or having ?things? is just a distraction  and will keep you from your real purpose in life.

As I shuffle through the many profiles, my tendency is to look first at those who qualify themselves as ?slave? because to me, that is more serious or committed to a life style of giving and serving.

Can you define for me why you feel you are a ?slave? now or why that is the classification your chose? It would help me understand you better to begin a dialogue.  

?Obedience is the very spirit of slavery; it is the special charisma of slave creatures. Obedience is the structural steel of our slave identity, and the spine of a slave?s conviction. Obedience alone determines what is right and what is wrong. It frees a slave to be what only a slave can be? one whose will has been replaced by that of another. Obedience is usually the single most important concern of a slave, and in this, it frees us from all others. It is the overarching principle through which right and wrong is assessed by us, and by those we serve.? ( SlaveCraft, Roadmaps for Erotic Servitude p80)

?It is only the slave?s obedience that enables a Master to control and therefore protect a slave against the most damaging threat possible, the slave?s thoughts.? (p81)

A question was asked about the difference between old time, ?real? slavery and today?s consensual slavery?

The difference today is you can decide to surrender freely, rather than someone capturing you and forcing you to surrender to his will. It is your choice to be a slave today. The ownership, the loss of freedom, the accountability, the objectification, the total encompassing of that enslavement can be just as pervasive as that which was enjoyed while slavery was legal in the past.

you can also choose the Master to whom you wish to become his property, at least initially. Once so committed though, your experience can be just as intense and far reaching. There are differing degrees of what some call slavery and few achieve total enslavement, but it can be your reality, if you seek it.

UPDATE:   The 900 sq ft dungeon I?ve been remodeling is complete, lacking only the leather sling, which will arrive this week. Black Brazilian slate floors, deep grey walls, charcoal ceilings, a locking 3x4x5 cage, a St Andrews Cross, two benches and now black curtains really look great. I also have plans for a floor to ceiling chain spider web next to the cage.

The pony training stable and grounds are already under way and can be used now, but further enhancements will add to the flavor, if that suites your tastes.

I?d enjoy the opportunity to discuss your needs to be enslaved and the possibility to do it in California. I am serous about the Master/ slave relationship. I live on an 4 acre estate that I have consecrated to the lifestyle.  I have a permanent 900 sq ft dungeon that I have built next to my home, with quarters available to keep and maintain full time slaves.

The next project is to convert my 4 stall barn and corals into a pony training facility, with both grassy areas to pull carts as well as exercise grounds for lead and halter training.

If living your dream means providing full time serve as a devoted slave, please say hello.

A couple of things to know about me will help you realize the difference between me and your pozer, dom wife. 
 I understand the spiritual nature of your journey, I?ve walked the path ahead of you. I have purpose in what I do and require of you. Just because it is hard doesn?t negate the need for you to endure it.  And I am sadistic, not sympathetic. I will enjoy your discomfort. Were Debra is dismayed by your tears, I will enjoy your struggling. Your whinny attitude will not get you anywhere with me, other than needing more rather than less.
After or maybe during your toil, I will process the journey with you and help you see meaning and purpose in what you are required to do.

The end result is what I yearn for. That is your total surrender of will, defenses, resistances and a pure desire to obey me with perfection as your only solace.

you don?t even know that place yet. Once there though you will be at peace, after the discomfort has been washed away. This is why you come to me. This is why a Master is needed. you can?t do this on your own.

Happy July 4^th, Independence Day. I sit here thinking how nice it would be to remove any independence you might feel and instead, teach you to obey without resistance or complaint.

I?m building a home and environment that fits so well into the dynamics of a Ds household ie, lots of privacy. I?ve finished the 900 sq ft dungeon/ slaves quarters. What I need now is for that someone who is really committed to living a life of servitude and service. I have the cages. You can remain naked and chained all day. Or feel the black slate against your knees while crawling to me. The single tails are hanging on the wall with the floggers and chains, leather restraints and ropes. It sounds like it is time to play.

A note of interest.

Each profile is given a chance to acknowledge basic interests. The value to the submissive is that they can see what their potential Master desires or enjoys.

There is a basic concept that many sub/slave girls and boys do not understand.  The goal of any submissive/slave is to perfect their ability to be obedient and to do so in an ever increasing degree of excellence and class. It isn?t a matter of whether one likes to do what is required or not. That isn?t the issue at all. Certainly, each will have an opinion what is pleasant or not, but doing only what is pleasant is not challenge at all. It is in the doing of what isn?t natural that a slave excels. And afterwards, through processing with the One, the slave discovers a greater joy and awareness that it wasn?t so bad after all.
That is when they begin their growth and awareness that trusting and obedience are the mark of the quality slave.

I am a 56 y/o dominant male.  I  have a 4 acre estate with a large home and a adjacent, fully functioning  dungeon/slaves quarter in the San  Diego area. I?m seeking either/ both male and females slaves or a couple who will serve as house keepers and gardeners, maids, play things or pets and errand boys. you would  be actively serving 24 hours a day as enslaved individuals. There is little need to hide your status and you would stay in a slave head space all the time. I encourage a healthy lifestyle. you would be required to exercise daily  and to eat a proper diet. I?m seeking those who would  enjoy living enslaved  in my family for the long term. you would learn to serve us perfectly and we would take  care of your physical and psychological needs. 
If this resonates with you respond.
Thank you,
David

I?m seeking a slave. The real life, total surrender of purpose and time in the service of Another type of slave. It is not a simple thing. It is the complete change of direction, from freedom to releasing to Me the total control of your lifes purposes for your existence. your life and all that which it is made up of, TIME, will belong to me. I will use your life in a manner that will be appropriate for me. you must trust that I will take you where you need and must go and that it will be good for you.

you have arrived at a place where you realize that the hidden dark side must come to life and be given its freedom. It?s scary. But it is necessary. This awareness has been driving you, to be exposed, to be given life, to fulfill your destiny. you were born to be owned and driven, controlled and used for Another?s purposes.

That relationship can not exist from a distance. Anyone who says they want to be a slave must also agree that being in that Owners presence is mandatory. slaves live to serve and to please and that require close proximity to the One they serve.

If you are ready to go, then good. If not, prepare your life by eliminating the baggage and simplifying your life until only the vital necessities are still here. Then when given the opportunity you will be available and ready.

Enslavement is a curious thing. On first consideration it seems somewhat off the edge. Why would anyone want to give Another power to control them?

Many people live lives of enslavement though. They are slaves to debt, to the employer, to their lack of self control.

They live lives with little or no sense of purpose, peace or self.

Their addictions are attempts to make their life meaningful. The sensations associated with eating, buying stuff, gambling and sex hide the real awareness of a lack of a meaningful life. The self destruction that smoking, drugs and alcohol brings is endured in an attempt to hide from their emptiness of whom or what they are.

Service to a healthy master can completely change one?s life. With His direction addictions can be overcome, healthy behaviors can replace those of an undisciplined life and pure service can give purpose and direction to an empty life.

The cost requires giving Another control and responsibility for one?s time and life?s purposes. It will require becoming accountable to Another rather than to one?s self. It means accepting completely His goals and structure and devotion. It means releasing one?s broken ego, pride and lack of self and replacing it with humility, an obedient nature and the joy of service. It may mean having a purposeful life and finding peacefulness previously unknown.

It means choosing who one?s Master is with knowledge and foresight.

The consideration of becoming a slave to a Mistress or Master must be the most important thing any person could consider. Its life and direction will be irrevocable changed forever. Once so committed a slave will surrender its direction and purposes in favor of that which is important to the Master it has chosen.

A slave is the property of Another. It has voluntarily relinquished its independence and committed to follow and obey the One it has devoted itself to. There certainly are values that are not abdicated; i.e. family and health issues. But the new and most important purpose in the life of this slave is the service to the Master. Even the interaction with family is no longer done independently but directed by the One.

The concept of not being with its owner is unimaginable to me. How can a person be so devoted and yet be unable to relocate to be available to present itself at the feet of the One? I am sure there are some Masters who don?t need or want that level of service and keep the slaves at a distance. But the slave must ache to be near and available. It would seem impossible to achieve true surrender without being able to present the slave in the Masters presence.

That which motivates a person to surrender itself to the care and keeping of a Master must also allow the surrender of all else until the One decides it is significant or valuable. That internal motivation must be an overwhelming need begging to be fulfilled!

I?ve had some thoughts I wanted to share with you about the beginnings of commitment into the service of Another. It certainly is a change in direction of ones life?s direction. Why would one make such a change in purpose and commitment?

?

The basic components of slavery are serving Another?s needs rather than seeking one?s own needs directly. The slave?s needs are met by the sacrificing, suffering, struggles, structure, and developing perfection in one?s obedience in the effort to achieve these ends. The goals in a slave?s life are simplified to just one perspective, that of pleasing the Master it serves.

?

All of its old life?s complexities are washed away and the sole purpose for existence becomes simply to serve the One as perfectly as possible. New structure is developed as the slave is now governed in its direction and technique for achieving that goal of perfect service. Joy is now found in the pleasure of Another. A new degree of satisfaction is achieved as the slave develops in its ability to anticipate and serve flawlessly.

?

The slave?s paradigm of becoming the actual property of the Master must transcend its old individuality until the slave achieves a oneness of purpose with the Master it serves. The full embracement of ownership and the elimination of any independence are vital to the successful transition from the past state of self-determination to one of true enslavement. The slave must feel an oneness of purpose with the Master, with no ?oppositionality? whatsoever. This singleness of purpose releases from the slave any old residue of individuality and brings its purposes inline with that of the Master. Beyond seeking to obey, the slave naturally seeks the highest standards of performance in that obedience.

?

The transcending of selfishness and the releasing of the old ?ego needs? to feel validated are the beginnings of the spiritual nature of a slaves existence. The ?new being? now embraces a life of pleasure based on the service it is able to render. There is no limit to the service it will provide simply due to the nature of its desire to please the One. The slave grows into a being completely devoid of conflict and functions in life as a useful and vital component of its Master?s energy and wellbeing.

?

Why does one seek to serve Another? The development of character with the release of selfishness, the transcendency of ego, the firm structure, the new safe place to be, the elimination of clutter in one?s life, the narrowing of purpose and the developing of higher standards of perfection in dedication to one?s Owner all bring a spiritual nature that was not found in individuality. The joys of life are amplified while the struggles to achieve success are simplified.

I?d like to share a principle taught me a while back by a rather wise soul that helped me understand surrender and submission on a deeper level.

Many people want some particular situation in which to offer their services; i.e. a man wanting to serve a female dom because to him, it is sexual. The man likes to touch females or see them or be seen by them, or what ever. But they want a specific situation in which to offer their submissiveness.

One truly learns to serve in an unconditional  manner when they serve those who they are not naturally attracted towards, ie a man serving another male strictly because the submissive is committed to learning to serve and obey without the need to be motivated by their inner wants for sexual pleasure.  Learning to be obedient and to serve should be the goal of a natural submissive and the road that will lead them to satisfaction.

You may not be interested in this degree of service now but it would be your future given you find a healthy and worthy dominant to serve. They would teach you this eventually.

I have a goal to develop my family with people who would enjoy fulfilling their needs and living out their desires in a mutually supportive, healthy Ds environment.

Are there those who are able to think outside the traditional box and find joy and satisfaction living full time in a healthy enslaved situation?  Would sleeping in a cage keep you awake at night or help you find peace and security? Would sharing the workload with other enslaved souls bring you closer to them and generate pleasure in your heart? Could you challenge yourself to move past your own self interests for the mutual benefit of the family? Would you like to belong to a family and feel that mutual support?

If your goal is to find real happiness in your slavery and what I suggest resonates within your soul I hope you will consider discussing the paradigm of living in healthy enslavement.

A couple of principles in determining if a person should be considered for a relationship;

1         Much more can accomplish when no one worries about whom will get credit for it. ?Devotion to the greater good? is a requirement for me.

2         Those with integrity make quality family members. Those without it create turmoil.

Today might be a good day to mention it will be 70 degrees here in southern CA and my days activities will include rollerblading at the beach.

Answering some inquires; Yes, I am real and have the abilities and facilities to maintain a Ms household. Living in my household would mean living in a full time, devoted headspace rather than visiting your fantasies on occasion.

Wishing all a happy holiday.

It?s curious to me that many classify themselves as slaves and yet have no Master. 

How can someone be a slave with no one to serve?

My guess is they wish to be a slave someday?

The honest presentation should be: If i find a Master worthy of my trust and a relationship can develop, then it?s my hope to grow, starting from being submissive to the total relinquishment of power and complete enslavement.

You know what your life is, or has been until now. Are you ready to make more of yourself, seeking a higher purpose, more spirituality, a deeper devotion to selflessness?

The devotion that a slave develops in the service of Another elevates its life purpose far above what one achieves seeking a personal advantage. There is no longer the need to simply make money, seek entertainment to distract or alleviate boredom, or deal with the mundane to survive.

The letting go of ?self? and focusing on the happiness and pleasure of Another outside of self interests completely changes life?s perspective and meaning, bringing with it the essence of true spiritually. Becoming part of the greater good of humanity is the essence of slavery.   

SERVICE (part of a post I saw, agree with completely and want to share. This concept is part of a healthy Ds paradigm.)

Sexual "service" is typically the lesser part of a full-time slave's service. The difference between a slave and a bottom may turn on the willingness, even eagerness, to serve in nonsexual ways.

Difficulties arise when Masters, or slaves, confuse service with being used. The difference is subtle but critical. Perhaps it is the difference between "being used" and "being useful." Being used has a very negative connotation for most people, and I suspect that in cases where it has a strong erotic charge, it refers more to the categories of direction and discipline than service. What is exciting about "being used" is being obedient and controlled, transcending your own ego and its selfish pleasures to be an instrument of someone else's will. That doesn't have to be a humiliating, demeaning, or degrading experience ? it can be an exhilarating and liberating one.

Being useful is something that most people do find pleasurable and rewarding ? slaves more than others. It is the sense of "right employment," of expending your life energies in a good and satisfying way. The joy of service is the feeling of having "made a difference" in some part of the world, however small. ( My definition of Spirituality)

When Masters think of a slave's service purely in terms of having him at Their beck and call to fulfill any whim or transient desire, They trivialize the slave's slavery and undermine his ability to continue that way of life.  A case could be made that the main reason Masters even exist is to provide slaves with an opportunity to serve to the best of their abilities! Whether you accept that view or not, a Master who neglects or wastes a slave's talents is worse than a fool; it is a form of abuse as serious as physical harm or neglect.

Perhaps the greatest challenge for a Master is to determine how a given slave can best serve Him, and to reconsider the matter again and again as the slave grows, learns, and develops. This is not to say that any particular service should be beneath any particular slave ? we can all benefit from taking a turn at menial chores. Nonetheless, a slave needs to feel, overall, that he is fulfilling his potential for service, or he will not remain content in his slavery for long.

I need to add one of my requirements. I am seeking a person who values intelligence and integrity more than their sexual proclivity or body appearance. If your advertisement places more value in what you look like than the person you are, then you have been sold a bill of goods. 

The M/s lifestyle doesn?t embrace the standards the vanilla world establishes so why use the outside worlds techniques?  

Please share your goals and values and leave the illusions at home!

I value humor, intellect, honest and intimate communication and a completely healthy paradigm. There is nothing wrong with a healthy body but it needs to be connected to a healthy brain.

That should be easy to understand.

Slave Requirements

1 Healthy & devoted female slave for 24/7 long term commitment in Absolute and Total Power Exchange.

2 Absolute submission, obedience and desire to serve and please, is mandatory.

3 Honesty, loyalty and respect is a must.

4Endurance and a strong value for servitude and ritual is expected.

5 Anticipate to be fully trained, shaped and used, to your Masters very needs and pleasures. Expect to be completely owned and your Master's property.

6 You will need to show your gratitude, in the expression of the deepest Love, Honor, and Admiration for your Master, and carry the burning desire in your slave-heart, to become your Masters trusted subject and companion.

I personally find it very curious that so many submissives complain about finding actual Masters here, capable of living in a real, long term Ds lifestyle. And yet, when giving an opportunity to actually pursue what they indicate is fulfilling to them, they bail. It seems to me there are many here who find discussion of the concepts more erotic than the actually living of it?

I?d be interested in any comments from those who have an opinion.

Do you think you want to be a slave?

Whether or not to become a slave is probably the most important decision you will ever make, and it will probably be one of the most difficult. If you are truly meant to be slave, and don't pursue becoming one, you risk living unfulfilled, denying your destiny, and living with the "hole" in your life that keeps telling you that something is missing. If you decide to become slave, then you must go through the arduous, challenging task of giving up your ego, abandoning your humanness, and accepting every experience necessary to become that which you are meant to be.
Either way, it is a difficult decision.
There is no easy route, nor alternative.

slaves need to look out for ourselves in terms of making sure that their needs for direction, discipline, and service get fulfilled. No matter how sexy a potential Master may seem, no matter how many BDSM buttons He pushes, if  no evidence exists that He will provide for your basic needs as a slave, look elsewhere. Also, a Master who is not your perfect fantasy but can offer an environment for clear direction, firm discipline, and opportunities for challenging and satisfying service, then He may deserve at least a second look.

"The best Masters I know all manifest a bone-deep humility and lack of pretense. They don?t doubt themselves or their abilities, or even their ?right? to rule those who submit to them, but they have no illusions about being God?s gift to the universe. They realize that commanding and controlling are no more praiseworthy than serving and obeying. Both are necessary, and both require discipline to do well.

No one can really deserve to own another person ? to be blameless, ownership must come as a gift. A slave gives himself because he trusts the Master to make the best of both of their lives. Possess me, use me, and you can do great things, his submission implies. And accepting that gift implies that you will do your best to become the Master he deserves ? for a good slave does deserve a good Master."

I expect the affects of a dominant / submissive relationship to flow through my being like the life giving blood that fills and nurtures me. This is not an escape but an enhancement to reality that is better because of the Ds dynamics. Your submission needs to make your life better while you stay grounded in reality, the reality of total submission.

regarding the training of a slave, you asked about whether the environment or the mind is the first to be dealt with? I?ll share my thinking and you tell me what order matters.

The making of a slave requires a number of different transitions. One main point is to create in the slave complete vulnerability and dependence on the Master.  

The old needs to be washed away and the new introduced; whether that be in how she thinks or what she eats or wears, what ?necessities? of life she receives,, what ever. It needs to be reintroduced so she comes to understand she owns nothing, deserves little, can expect almost anything and what comes to her comes because He gives it.

The Master is the sun, the moon and stars to the slave. He is the earth she stands on and the air she breaths. That which He gives she receives, nothing more or less. He is to be worshiped and appreciated. The slave will come to know without restriction that her only purpose in life is to serve this Master. Once she fully appreciates this she is becoming a proper slave.

The  submissive?s desire to serve a Dominant comes from inside the submissive. It is instinctive and a need to nurture another, a yearning that would be there whether or not he was involved in any form of D/s relationship.  Service is imparted out of love. It is a spiritual elation to feel the pleasure that one's service gives to the person being served which acts as both the reward and incentive.
If that inner desire is not there, if it is only with the expectation of receiving sex or BDSM play that service is provided, as is often the case, then it won't be long before the service declines or stops completely, regardless of the amount of sex or play received.

The question of whether a collar or wedding ring is preferred has been discussed recently on a egroup mailing list.

I personally believe it is very difficult or impossible to move from a romantic, shared power relationship based on mutual interests and male / female courting techniques to a Master / slave dynamic. The change that must take place includes the Dominant?s new, increased sense of entitlement to expect the submissive to serve him unconditionally. He needs to raise his expectations that will allow him to watch the sub suffer to serve him. He needs to know what is best to enslave and capture the sub and release His old mindset that was created in the romantic system.  The submissive must let go of the same sense of entitlement and realize she must earn His dominance in an earnest effort to serve and obey in the same unconditional manner.

(In an enduring romantic relationship and if equal motivations exist where one is willing to assume control and the other is equally willing to surrender it can happen.)

The more natural system is to create the M/s dynamic, if possible, where there is a powerful interaction based on mutual respect, honor and reverence. A real slave does not need love to serve and obey. A slave exists to serve and to be owned independent of rewards. The real test of a genuine slave is the motivation and need they have to be enslaved. A submissive may increase the desire to please the One to the point of wanting Them to take total control.  But a slave has an imbedded need to be owned and finds the One who is capable and worthy. Love may come but can actually destroy the M/s dynamic if the Master is not wise enough to maintain the slave mindset.

"Submission is an on-going, permanent and irreversible process. It doesn't end with the words or the collar or the brand or whatever. In point of fact, it only just begins there and must be renewed hour after hour, day after day. The security, the caring, the love perhaps, even the turn-on; all these things are the results of, not the prerequisites for, all genuine submission. A slave is entirely and absolutely free to choose whether or not to submit, and to whom, but having chosen s/he relinquishes all control to his/her owner completely. S/he can only do so on faith, because there can be no guarantees."

The humility learned in the collar should be the perspective from which all of Creation is viewed. The strength derived from a successful and spiritually gratifying lifestyle should be placed at the disposal of all who need it. The endurance developed under the rigors of pain, chastisement and labor, should translate into tolerance and forbearance of all who think and act according to other values ? even those who would deny the legitimacy or validity of the BDSM lifestyle. The acute awareness of identity through meditation and examination of the submissive nature should lead to a greater understanding of ? and thereby respect for ? disparate cultural and moral backgrounds. The obedience and selflessness that are the distinguishing characteristics of any natural slave should be expanded to include not just a Master or Mistress but humanity at large. 
taken from
Spirituality In SlavehoodAuthor: J. Mikael Togneri

During training submissives are taught patience, controlling their own orgasms, verbal restraint and other similar things. they should learning self discipline and to control themselves so their behavior will please the dominant they serve. Without this ability, a submissive will have a difficult time achieving or even understanding their submission. 

I?d like to introduce myself and my goals.

I am a very active and healthy dominant who lives in the San Diego area. My goal is the developing of a poly family based on the principles or dynamics that will build a supportive, nurturing, growth promoting Master / slave relationship. I believe it is possible to create an environment were you can live out your desires to be owned and controlled.

There are many you have shared with me the conflict with their ?real? world. I am developing a home and living condition where your fantasies can become the reality you seek but didn?t know how to bring it about. As a family, we will work and play without needing to leave the headspace of ownership or owned. With mutual regard to each member?s needs W/we will foster trust and personal development in each family member. This is not an abusive relationship so you can really let go of the need to keep control and be able relate as the slave you have dreamed of becoming. In this environment of support and encouragement you can expand your submission to a capacity probably unfelt or imagined.

This is the potential if you have the matching desire and philosophy. There can be no tolerance for completion or jealousy. Living in such an environment will require personal growth that must take place to live in harmony. Can you commit to a higher purpose and be open to developing personal character?  Can you feel secure enough that the family and character development supercede your needs to be attended to?

Please say hello if this resonates with you and living is CA is attractive.

David

I find it interesting that so many people who suggest that they want to be enslaved to a Master seem to value age and looks in the Man they want to control their lives. Does that seem to be the right priority?

I?m not desirous of having another control me, but if I were I?d prefer experience and wisdom to age or appearance. But that?s just me.

It is my belief and expectation that as a person becomes enslaved their personal interests and agendas transition towards and eventually are determined exclusively by the One who owns them.  A wise Master needs to understand the needs of a slave so those needs are satisfied and the slave lives a happy and satisfying life.  The basic needs a person has of being of service to Another and operating within an environment where their life is structured by the One needs to be respected and satisfied.

Regarding your interaction with Me, that would be based on what I want. What I require will be determined on My needs as well as what I feel is the best for you too. It?s important to Me, as Master of another, that the slave feels complete and satisfied. Obviously, a slaves needs are not to be gratified but fulfilled. he or she needs to feel owned, controlled, used and enslaved. A slave has needs as any healthy person does. Those needs are unique to a slave though and a Master should use His talents to help the slave find opportunity for those needs to be expressed and satisfied. How that happens is My responsibility. All you need to know is that it?s My intentions to enslave you completely.

• Submission is acceptance, not judgment.
• Submission is a choice.
• Submission ceases to evaluate and consents based on trust.
• Submission has no agenda.
• Submission is full of patience.
• Submission defines humility, meekness, self control.
• Submission seeks Another?s wellbeing.
• Submission is teachable, moldable, and compliant.
• Submission is about transitioning; it?s about embracing change without resistance or misgivings.
• Submission requires integrity, strength of character, stability.
• Submission gives birth to serenity.
• Submission is obedience, instant obedience, perfect obedience.
• Submission is acquiescence to a Higher power.
• Submission finds joy in servicing Another?s needs and desires.
• Submission is selfless in its manifestations.
• Submission does not ask how long or how deep.
• Submission is boundless in energy and desire.
• Submission does not sleep or take a vacation.
• Submission fulfills its own needs by satisfying Another?s needs.
  
  

One of the many things a slave surrenders when interacting with dominant men is the opportunity to set their own agendas A would-be-slave should give all it can in service, learning, striving to be as pleasing as possible. There is no ?guaranteed? outcome and a hope-to-be-owned slave serves without placing conditions on its service or surrender. Instead, slaves should be grateful each time they are allowed one more opportunity to kneel at the feet of the Master. its service needs to focus on pleasing, not because of an expected outcome, but simply for the sake of giving service and pleasing Another.

its hope is simply to please and serve, in whatever way permitted ... regardless of whether that effort brings an ownership situation.  service also brings lessons and experiences that teach much. While serving someone is not the same as being owned, there are some valuable lessons and changes in a mindset that can occur during that time which can be incredibly useful in the long run.

There is comfort in knowing that the Master is doing as they wish and will not be manipulated or pressured. Do you ache to be owned? Yes, absolutely. But show that in your service, in eagerness, in openness, in words, in everything done- the same way all the other emotions show through. Have no agenda though. Begin to learn it's not about you.

A slave's life is mostly composed of patience and study.

Yes, study. If not with actual books, then following the example of greater, senior slaves. Or learning every nuance of their owner's character, so that they can more completely and seamlessly offer themselves at the right time and in the right manner.

~Laura Antoniou~

Consider the POWER of  Ds; The Master understands that the submissive is incomplete, undeveloped, needing to develop the proper mentality and character. She may have desires to serve but the Master will hone and perfect her metal, moving her past her fears or resistances. The Master will see the potential slave in her and be able, with purpose and discernment remove that which hinders her growth and development.  It is with this wisdom that the Master uses the power of Ds to adjust the mind and behavior of the submissive because she will follow and obey based on His power. He teaches proper behavior, and then acceptance and her enjoyment will follow. With proper guidance she grows to the point where she will obey without hesitancy or judgement.

Without training the female is ego driven, prideful or insecure, fearful, probably selfish, generally undisciplined and resistant. She must transition into an appreciative and responsive servant, one that goes outside herself to meet the needs and requirements of the One. He will guide her through her innate fears and resistances and persists until she is successful.

A slave needs to know that she deserves nothing (besides her health) and everything she receives comes from and is a gift from the Master. her attitude should have a sincere appreciation for any opportunity she is given to please Him and this desire to please should be her only motivation.

The training required to develop a proper slave, with the proper attitude is in her best interests even though if may be difficult. Developing trust that allows success, one of total vulnerability and dependence requires techniques that force the submissive to let go of desires that support her ego. Learning to accept as normal her new slave character requires a realization, first in private and eventually in public that her only real purpose is in devotion and service to the One. A slave serves with the single purpose of devotion to the master?s best interests.

What the Master/Mistress requires of the submissive should be with purpose and intent; the elimination of self-centered characteristics and the development of a total surrender of will, having a quality of vulnerability that supercedes all else. The end result should be a new person, transitioned from the old and now devoted and dependant, with one purpose in life, to use her entire being in the service of the One.

There are subs/wannabe slaves who desperately want to feel and experience what they have dreamed of for so long. They found this lifestyle on the Internet and may have had on line Mistress/Master and now want to go real time. Be very careful about going from fantasy to reality. You can back off in an Internet relationship and survive that what you have dreamed of is still a fantasy. But once you feel the power exchange in real life you have a fundamental part of you changed forever. It is a one way door you go through... it shuts behind you and you are now different.

It is more intense than what you feel now, in a cyber or LDR. The face to face power exchange is like nothing you have felt before and like nothing you will feel again. So be sure you really REALLY want this. If you do then welcome to another kind of living.

"Those who are called to slavery do not respond to the call because
they can do nothing else -- they respond because for them, nothing
else will do."

A slave was created from the ground up to obey. When he obeys then he can inherit his purpose, the experiences, and all the wisdom needed to lead a great and creative life that is filled with happiness.

 When you honor your wants and needs, your assessment of what you think should and shouldn't happen, when you decide what should be easy and hard, or how much effort should be put into anything, then you are artificially trying to pump up your ego again.

Obedience is where peace is found. Obedience is where your brilliance and purity is found. Obedience is where you integrity is found. You can't have the results of obedience without being obedient. Most try to understand obedience, and then act as though they don't actually have to obey, because they understand so well how to.

That is foolish, but typical egotistic reasoning. It is reasoning that continues to try to tell the slave that so long as there is something he doesn't understand, there is an excuse for not achieving the best things in life, and that understanding is the solution to everything. It isn't what you understand. It is only what you do that is important.

It is when we quit understanding, and only pay attention to our obedience, that life begins to change, to become the miracle that we are destined to inherit. Nothing is more important that obedience. Nothing teaches more lessons than growing toward becoming more and more obedient.

Defining a slave;

1 : a person held in servitude as the chattel of another
2 : one that is completely subservient to a dominating influence
3 : a device (as the printer of a computer) that is directly responsive to another

If you're searching for an owner, then you are a submissive  person searching for an owner... you may *feel like* a slave, you may be
slave-like. But you aren't a slave if you're not owned.

Life as a Master or slave is not about sex. There is that, but more importantly it?s about control and loving to serve the Master who owns you.

A truism for a slave is that ?time?, which you have so much of now ceases to exist for a slave. A slave does not have a yesterday or tomorrow nor does he/she anticipate them. he/she lives in the moment, seeking to obey or follow or do that which is required of him/her, and in the doing finds pleasure. It?s hoped that the pleasure the slave brings to the Master will be a reward in and of it?s self.

Slavery is a condition in which the slave is helpless to resist the will of another and is unable to free herself by her own efforts. The creation of an emotional and psychological bond which is so powerful that the slave literally cannot choose to leave is exactly what is meant by the word enslavement. 

. Thank you to those who have been so responsive to this ad. I need to explain what I require. By talking with those who respond it has become obvious that sharing an interest in kinky behavior is fairly easy. What has been difficult is finding someone who has a healthy mindset, desires an active lifestyle and lives the way they acknowledge to be correct.  

Please, unless you exercise regularly, have a health promoting paradigm, love the outdoors, and are physically able to pursue physically demanding activities there is little reason to try to connect with me. Please enjoy dancing, hiking / backpacking, rollerblading, racquetball, volleyball or kayaking or be able to be trained to participate.W/we can then discuss the particulars of kinky behavior.  

Thank you

There are many here who say they want to be taken in slavery but few who will really embrace that degree of surrender.  Most seek a companion who will match their requirements, and then, in addition take them into a world of submission. The problem lies in the change that needs to occur because once a mutual relationship of equality (boyfriend/girlfriend) has been formed it?s nearly impossible to go back to create the Master / slave dynamic. It should begin with the slave and her developing respect for Him, then beginning to embrace her surrender.  The Master needs to proceed with a training protocol that will develop her dependence and vulnerability. His goal is to conquer her independence. In the end the slave then has no choice but to develop love for Master she serves. The surrender proceeds the loving.  

If I measured my pleasure in orgasms, I would be a very unhappy man. I am far more pleased with your submission and your desire to be of service than anything else you could possible offer.

The beginning of servitude does not come from the Master demanding it. There must be an instinct to serve, a desire to surrender, an innate desire to be controlled and directed. The chance to live one?s fantasy rather than following society?s standards must be earned. This alternate lifestyle is not based on your past norms, but on the principles of obedience, respect and honor, honesty and trust, and dedication to the One?s pleasure. For you to approach this experience accordingly, in such a way that you might feel its impact, you must be motivated to prove yourself worthy.

"Dominance is the ability to create a hunger in the woman  strong enough that she will do anything, anytime, anywhere, just to please you."

D/s should be a day-to-day, breathing, living, learning existence. Submission, to me, means being in the balance to a Dominant Man, relishing the pleasure of serving his needs...emotionally, physically, mentally, within a well nurtured real life relationship. Striving to maintain His every happiness and finding your own in doing so.

The mark of the fetishist is the pleasure received in the sadomasochistic attention. The mark of the slave is in devotion to their duties, regardless of their Master or their work. The primary function of a slave is to be utterly available and useful to their owners for whatever purpose the owner identifies.

The most readily apparent characteristic of absolute slavehood is that it is primarily service-oriented and unconcerned with what might be gained in return. The absolute slave finds her raison d'être in service to others, and her identity in the greatest possible reduction of self. TPE does not apply to absolute M/s because the M/s relationship is a symbiosis, and contrary to common misconception a symbiosis is not an exchange. It is a host/parasite relationship in which it just so happens that both are simultaneously host and parasite to one another. Each symbiant provides something that the other needs, but does so passively, merely by existing. An exchange requires deliberation and is conditional upon a predefined relationship between giving and receiving.

In absolute M/s the flow of power is one-way only, from the submissive to the dominant, and the giving and taking of power are not contingent upon any exterior conditions or circumstances. The empowerment and serenity of absolute slavehood are not given to her in exchange for her submission, but come from within herself, enabled to do so because a number of life choices and responsibilities have been turned over to the dominant.