Hard eight is a proposition bet at craps, a wager that the shooter will roll
eight "the hard way," double fours, before he rolls either an "easy" eight (six
and two, three and five) or a seven. It's a bet where one fights 10-to-one odds
for a nine-to-one payoff.

care to place a bet?

its about a craving that starts when you are so small.. a need to please.. i feeling of being complete only when you know you have hit the mark and made the person who means the most to you proud.. and its also a need to have order brought to you from outside yourself. a code of behavior that you feel you need desparately to live up to,, but you arent quite sure what it is.. just a need deep inside to be,,, impeccable.. in everything you do and someone to know you are tryng so hard to hit that mark,, a perfection... my life as a young child was chaotic,,, my mother found her self pregnant at 16 and so i was being raised by a child...and then i was in a play at age ten.. maryfreaking poppins...lol my mother went to the play .. and she watched me struggle on stage to do the dance moves and sing the songs.. the weekend after she watched me she called a local dance teacher in my little tiny town (one streetlght) and i heard her tell the teacher i was clutsy .. and i didnt know how to carry myself .. could this teacher help her poor child.?.. i was enrolled in dance class the next week.. ten years of dance.. every summer at dance camp learning from guest teachers from places like joffery, american ballet co... i thrived there.. i learned that if the teacher even notices you enough to say that you were a complete failure and obviously couldnt dance at all it was taken as a compliment.. no matter what criticsm they dealt you, you gratefully thanked them and vowed to do beter.. i had a teacher that carried a cane.. and if she found you holding the bar to tightly for balance she wracked your knuckles with the cane and dressed you down publically for the failure.. i knew that a yawn in class would get you thrown out.. if your bones cracked you would be thrown from class.. once while balancing on point on just one foot with my other leg extending behind me... she stopped in front of me .. and made me defy gratity until she gave me permissioin to come back down to the floor... its not kinky sex im after here.. its the disipline.. its that old feeling of being challenged to defy grafity if im asked to.. and the look in someones eye as they silently say to me,, you CAN do this.. if not because you believe it.. but because I Say you Will.. there is no pain i will not endure.. i have peeled bloodied dance shoes from my feet many times... a crop doesnt scare me at all... its not that.. it is perfection,, i was born to it.. dance was its birth.. but because i found it in me... and as an adult it was some silly BDSM site that brought it to me again.. made me remember what orginally gave birth to me at my core.. i will not give a list .. i wont say i dont have limits.. i do... but if once more i find a Person who can say ... "defy grafity until I tell you to stop.. i will be home.


Married now
take care sub 8