Trust me, there are many times when I REALLY craved for a mistress, a dominant woman, who will make me her slave (more precisely her pet dog). And, I wanted someone who *ACTUALLY WANTS* to dominate me. I never wanted any fake girl doing it just for money or doing it just to please me - THIS WAS MOST IMPORTANT TO ME - makes sense?

I tried a lot of things to find my ideal mistress. For example:

1. Talking indirectly to my current girl-friends about such stuff - but, found out that none were interested (and most of the times I got myself embarassed... ouch).

2. Contacted new girls and directly asked about their interests in dominating men - and they give weird reactions asking me if I am a weirdo (lol).

3. Paying escorts to dominate/humiliate me - but they didn't seem to know what this domination & humiliation is all about - because they didn't have the ACTUAL desire to humiliate & dominate me (rather they just wanted to do as I said - just to get the money).

4. I emailed anonymously to a lot of girls - asking if they are interested to get a man who will do anything to please them - but, guess what? I got no replies. Maybe just a couple flaming me that I am a loser (lol).

So, the main problem was I didn't get till day to meet anyone who has this *inner desire* to dominate men in the way I have always dreamt about. I thought to myself - do these women (Mistresses) really exist ? May be they are available in Foreign Countries certainly not in India or this part of Asia or may be for the fact that these girls must exist but maybe very less in numbers. And, I also knew even these girls won't be able to open up their desires publicly in front of just everyone.

I felt like I HAVE TO BECOME A SLAVE TO A REAL WOMAN AT ANY COST OR ELSE I WILL JUST DIE. (not really die but yeah very close to that - lol)