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Male Submissive, 35
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About AcenaiaFall
Not my first time on here. So don't try fooling me :)
No friend requests before talking once or twice, please. It's a little idiotic.
I am trigger-happy, so sometimes you'll see I'll look at your profile more than once, or even by accident the first time. Sorry if that upsets you. I'm not a mean gal, however, so feel free to message me if you feel inclined.
Not actively looking for much of anything. My standards haven't dropped, but finding happiness with someone doesn't seem to be high on my list of priorities at the moment. Any messages looking for more than friendship will either be deleted or treated to a generic response. If you think you're an exception that, I hope you really make it worth my while to read it.
Friends are nice, but I'm not expecting much until I begin to write more about myself again. I'm constantly a work in progress, with every aspect of me changing as time goes on. So writing something that will be the same in 3 months is difficult.
I can tell you I am kindhearted, but I can easily become moody and be far from kind.
Sometimes I am strong in my ability and desire to serve and please, and yet there are times where I am truly not. There are times that I hide from myself and I hate it. Hate that I'm willing to push aside my own feelings and wants in order to sate another's desires, wants, and needs. I understand who I am, but being at peace with it is my issue.
I understand, for the most part, what I want with my life. It hasn't changed for 5 years, which is a lot of time considering I've only been alive for 20. But I also understand that it's not realistic.
I grew out of using "submissive" to describe me because I don't really fit in that box so well. But that is a long and confusing topic better for discussion than reading on a profile. :)
I'm perfectly capable of leading myself and others. So if I feel my leader is incompetent or incapable of controlling/leading/guiding me or others, I'll do it myself. So yes, I can be difficult to tame.
I learn best through example and I'm subconsciously big on reciprocation (at least, that is how I describe it). Don't expect me to show appreciation for you if you can't return it in kind later on. Don't expect me to care about you if you don't care about me. And don't expect me to notice the little things and changes about you if you don't care to notice them about me.
I do believe in the predator/prey mentality in relationships. I am prey, but I am not weak. I'll get all gooey-eyed and weak in the knees if you're emanating dominance and when I think of you, I think alpha, but not a moment before.
I believe in what I believe in, but I'm still open-minded and will always consider what others say. I will not immediately say, "No, you're wrong because..." I am considerate and take the time to not sound like an idiot, and also to (hopefully) not make you feel like an idiot as well.
Sometimes I can sound harsh when I ask questions. It's just the way I am, and I never intend to offend or belittle another while doing so. A lot of that stems from frustration I've reached from that question before I've asked it; I like to work things over in my head a lot, but I still seem to sound like I don't think about what I say.
I do not use the label submissive because of what it implies about me and about what I want. While some of those things ring true, it is not by any means complete; having talked and walked into enough people that believe it to be a complete description of me has made me change my thinking. I tend to use slave or property because it really only explains ownership. I'll use sub to describe myself only under a few conditions, one being after we get to know each other :)
I'm not the slave or property you want if all you seek is someone to make your life easier or to be your sex toy. I'm difficult and tend to have out of control hormones. Sometimes, i cry a lot. I get unhappy. I have opinions and I have morals, and they don't change easily. I'm not easily brainwashed, and I take a lot of work and effort.
Pictures available at some point. (Current is a really tiny version of a photo I lost somewhere between two hard drives. I'll find it or something else somewhat anonymous at some point.)
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Here's a thought... Things I believe I need from my Master/Dominant.
Trust, integrity, acceptance, stability, consistency, respect, maintenance, strength of mind (and sometimes body).
Strong leadership and guidance that stems from having control over themselves. The ability to lead through example. Being able to see clearly even through rage. Capable of not overreacting to the little things, especially when there are bigger things to worry about. Being able to decide which issues are little and which are big. Responsibility for themselves and their actions.
The willingness to grow and learn. The willingness to grow and learn with me and because of me, as I do from them. The willingness to work with me so I can become better in what I do and who I am. Understanding that my concerns are valid just as their's are.
Appreciation and praise. Noticing the little things.
Compassion without being a doormat, patience, discipline without being too firm or too lax (and always loving), communication. I shouldn't be afraid to talk to them because of past transgressions. They can step up and be the better person in an argument rather than being childish (such as alwaysneeding to have the last word in and argument) or idiotic. Understanding that both inside and outside of our dynamic they are not always right, even if they have become the leader in my world (aka, understanding that no one is perfect).
Someone that can put me back in my place mentally through more than just yelling and arguing. Someone that doesn't give up on me when I've given up on being "good" at what I do or when I've just stopped caring as a result.
The ability to (eventually) read me before it's an after-the-fact matter. I know there are times I will act out because of something and not notice it until days later, because I was floundering, I was needing to feel small, feel wanted, feel needed, or feel like a slave and I couldn't get it.
... I guess I'm high maintenance. |
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