I am a switch but listed submissive here because I would prefer the role of the a bottom then a top if possible. Not close minded to other roles but prefer that of a pet.

As a Dom,

I would like to find a female between the ages of 18-40 who is honest, loyal, submissive by nature, and serious about a long term live in relationship that could possibly lead to marriage. I am not interested in subs or slaves who feel the need to be treated like shit, sorry just not the way I wish to treat a lady regardless of her role in our relationship. Also it is very important that she not have any allergic reactions to latex as I very much love the look, feel, and smell of latex on a beautiful lady. My girl will be mine 1st & foremost, and her #1 desire will be to please & make me happy. She will feel safe in knowing that I have both hers & my own best interests at heart never desiring to use & dump her. She will be an important part of my life & the center of my world. She will not need me to make every decision for her, but will be perfectly willing & happy to do what ever I may ask of her.

As a Sub/Pet/Slave/Bottom,

I would like most to be with a beautiful female who will not only use me but also look out for my best interest while I am in her care not allowing anyone to damage me. I want to feel like her property an object that she owns but I also I want to feel safe knowing that she will never allow anyone to break my heard limits or take me from her. A some what jealous Mistress that will get very upset if she thinks I am checking out another woman or putting anyone or anything above her. One that very much enjoys the use or strapons & fisting as well as anal stretching. The Mistress I most seek would be one that can respect & not push my hard limits & still be able to make me cry when she fucks me with her huge strapon/s or fists me. One who enjoys as many of the fetishes & interests as I do making us both more compatible with each other. A life collar is most desired where I would never be released not even if I begged release until the day I die.

As a Switch,

If I am to find another switch or someone who allows both sides of me to come out I most prefer my female partner to be more Dominant then submissive at least towards me. I need a since of security someone that can hold her own & not feel easily threatened. I am not a fighter by no means, and I am more verbal than physical when it comes to others. I will do my best to avoid conflicts when possible. I need to be able to love the person I am with regardless of mine or her role, and attraction starting out is very important because I want a woman I can truly worship & desire in every way possible. I feel a need & yearning to give pleasure to my partner, to make her feel good, to make her happy, and to make her want to be near me. Her sadness makes me sad, when she is happy I am happy also, so its very important that I be able to have more then a lustful relationship or situation though lust is not a bad thing I also feel the need to love the woman I am with.

Me on Any Level,

Love has always been the most important thing for me in life as I have had a very painful & fucked up past all the way from childhood. My mother gave me up to the State of Tennessee when I was very young. Instead of being placed in a nice caring home I was put into every shit hole they could find where I was raped, molested, abused, starved, and then some. I have been in & out of foster homes, run away shelters, institutions, group homes, and so on. I never knew my real father & the one I thought was my father told me on his death bed he wasn't my real one, but I was named after him "Jr". All I ever wanted was a family, a place where I could fit in & feel needed or wanted. I often sat off to my self on the playground watching other kids with their brothers, sisters, and family's while I played or spent time by myself. I hated seeing kids that disrespected their parents, because I would have given any thing to have the tables turned & swapped places with them. There were a few nice families but I guess I was just to damaged for them to work threw it with me, and it was very hard at times for me to allow people to get to close in fear I would be dumped at some point. I have been married 2x both of which were non US Citizens & it seamed that all they really wanted in the end was US Citizenship. Once I am in love with someone that love never dies, as I believe you cant truly love someone today & hate them tomorrow. Yeah sure we can not be in love with someone & move on, but we never loose that love we once felt but instead we learn to hide it & move on if we are lucky.

The Lifestyle & The Past,

I like to believe that it was the lifestyle that found me one day while I was sitting in one of the old Yahoo Chat Rooms that most people try to avoid these days. I was heartbroken & despite to find another means of pain to smother that in which I was feeling from my 2nd wife that had left me 2 days after she got her Green Card. I honestly think she is the reason for which I started out on the low end of the totem pole because I felt pretty worthless being used for a piece of paper after giving 120% of myself to her. In any case I first served a Big Lady in Clifton Tennessee which is basically on the other end of Tennessee from me. She drove all the way to Maryville TN to pick me up & took me back to her place on her property in Clifton. After a while of serving there on her farm & to her, she gave me to a Lesbian Mistress in NJ which was looking for a live in to look after her two dogs one of which couldn't get up & move around on his own. I was a live in slave pet to her which took care of her dogs, did odd things around the house, ate scraps from she & her wife, and took care of her dungeon in the basement. She was really nice to me, but her wife I think resented me because I was born with a Penis & her wife my Mistress seamed to like spending more time with me where we would go for walks late at night & she would tell me about her day & the things that frustrated her that was going on with her wife & other things. She went off on a Birthday trip to the Dominican Republic & left me to take care of some things at home with her money slave pretty much acted stupid allowing me to do most of the work & then the last day when Mistress was to come home he told me that she & her wife had met some guys at the airport because they missed their flight & taken a private charter with them. He claimed he hadn't heard from them & was worried, so then anxiety set in for me & he ask if I had the phone number. I told him they had left the phone in their room & the door was locked. He insisted that I get in some how so I could call them & make sure they were ok, yeah its amazing how gullible I was because my Mistress came home not long after I had broken her door knob trying to get to the phone to call her & of course the money slave Mike... Asshole! Told her I was talking shit & said I was going to rob her & all kinds of other shit. I tried to plead my case with her but it looked bad, so what could I say. I didn't drive, I didn't know anyone in NJ, and if I was going to do something that stupid why the hell would I wait till the day she was suppose to come home. In any case she sided with the money slave & I was shipped back to Tennessee. The one and only good Mistress to this day & a fucking money slave got the best of me. So I have served a few other times after that but the worst of the worst would have to have been my Mistress in Las Vegas which didn't bother to tell me she was a drug addict or felon or a psycho either. She landed me in the ER more then 5 times a few of which almost cost me my life. I never told anyone not even her Master because she begged me not to in fear he would dump her or she would be arrested. I know there are names & labeled for people like me. (Idiot, fool, dumbass, sucker, etc...) I lived with Mistress Candy (Anita Zimmerman) off & on about 3 times. The 2nd time she called me in Hawaii telling me her father (Leroy) missed me as wasn't doing to well after I left. She knew that Leroy was the only card she could play to make me feel bad & want to come back. He was in deed not doing to well & begged me to come back, but it wasn't because of his health it was because of her neglect & the way she treated him when he didn't want to eat. So I returned like a fool for the 3rd time mainly for Leroy which I considered a friend having had given him his meds, cooked for him, fed him, and tried to cheer him up being he couldn't get around for himself. She changed his diapers as I could never quite drive myself to do that & wanted to loose my stomach when ever it was time to change him but I held him while she did, and I felt it was only so right seeing as to she was responsible for him & she only took him in for his income. Her Master was an inspiration to me being he was most likely 1 of very few men ever in my life that I truly respected or had any respect for being that men all throwout my life treated me like shit & beat the living hell out of me more so as a child. He warned me a few times about her intentions & how she was most likely going to dump me when Leroy had moved on, and he was right! As soon as he passed she gave me the boot. After all I had done for her & her father this was the thanks I got. I paid her $400.00 rent, and had no life of my own. I watched her father, went shopping with her for him & for her, allowed some fucked up shit to take place with me for her videos & pictures to use, and even allowed her so called black dentist friend to mangle my mouth with her tools from her tool box while he gouged out 2 of my bad teeth in the back of my left side top in my mouth. He poked me more then 200 times with a syringe he claimed had Novocaine in it but I later found out it was tap water, and she even video taped the entire thing which I once had on YouTube. I ended up in the ER with a double infection & almost died. She never said she was sorry even though I didn't rat her out when the Police arrived asking questions about who was involved with this, and honestly I couldn't tell him who the guy was because I had never seen him before. To this day I suffer from a chronic sinus infection & problems with my teeth & gums because of that guy. My sinuses are very close to the roots of my teeth & he did some major damage. In Tennessee I can get medical but not dental help free, but they wont do anything but give me antibiotics & pain pills. I most times beg for the antibiotics & reject or don't use the pain meds because the antibiotics will make the infection & swelling go down at least while I am on them, and don't make me feel like shit as the pain pills do. I have been off & on antibiotics now going on 2 years. The past 6 months I was on them solid from visits to the ER, and now I have been off them about 2 weeks which I have substituted with Dollar Tree meds I get for $1.00 like Ibuprofen 200mb which I take 2 of so many times a day when I cant eat do to the pain. I haven't had to many problems the past few days so I haven't taken any. Plus it makes my stomach bleed so I take them as little as possible, but it also helps the DDD I have which is degenerative disc disease which I have in my lower & upper back, as well as my neck & shoulders. Between the pain from those things & my migraine headaches.... grrr.... So yeah my life has been interesting with very few dull moments. If I sound negative, look at my past tell me what there has been positive to make me feel good about. I am alive, yeah true but any way. I would like to have something good to share other then saying I once had a nice Mistress that dumped me, but so far that's all I have.

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Yeah its a lot to take in I know, but it should give everyone a bit more information about me to either better understand me or choose wither or not they want to have anything to do with me. I know most of you will avoid me being I am damaged goods, and others will take interest because "hell how can you damage what is already broken". There is an upside to all this, because of my past I am here. If I hadn't had all these bad things happen to me chances are I would have never known or had anything to do with Femdom or BDSM. I would have never been so open minded to some of the things that your every day vanilla would would consider fucked up or not normal. I may have turned out to be a heartless prick like many do who have had my past or things similar to it. I have no desire to go out & shoot people up or take any ones life. I am still 120% loyal to this day once I fall for someone, and I still like to help people even though I am starting to get a little sick of some people... I have some fucked up ideas in my head but most of them are things I fantasize about having done to me not others. Part of me wants to be hurt, used, and abused by as many hot ladies as I can find who want to hurt me & take out all of their frustrations on. To rape me, to fist me, to slap me, to use me, and to treat me like shit. Another part of me which has almost completely faded away wants to find someone to love & be happy with though the reality of that is almost impossible it seams. In any case I need to find some place to fit in & get away from Vanilla as much as possible. I miss the Femdom/BDSM lifestyles. I feel lost in Vanilla, and out of place even though I am safe I get anxiety being out ostyles & feel empty. Not everything that happened to me I enjoyed, wanted, or desired but at least I felt like I belonged there, and was needed.

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So I am asking if there are any attractive eye candy type ladies out there who are not just looking for any willing body to use, abuse, and own & would like a loyal pet, sub, slave please message me but only if your seeking a life collar on me. I don't want to play musical lifestyle anymore, and I want a permanent home even if I am nothing more then a dungeon pet passed around the dungeon for videos & pictures or what ever. Preferably someone who shares my same/like fetishes & interests.