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Wow, thought collarme was gone forever. A friend just let me know it had changed to collarspace. who know? |
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Due to my birthday passing recently I have been feeling old.
So I told a friend that she better cry at my funeral. Her response was "You are going to out live me and will probably be holding my hand when I die. Which is strange cause you will probably be the one that killed me." So we laughed. And I told her I would toss her hand in the hole with the rest of her before filling it in.
It's good to have friends that get you../
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Awesome! found a site with the fourth season of Archer! watchcartoononline dot come. Yoot! |
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Was hanging out with a friend today and she has recently started looking on CM again. This started our talking of horror stories from bad meetings and the huge amount of no shows and vanishing acts that happen when you try to meet. She had me laughing with her being stalked by "Victorian era poof Doms". No idea what that means but the concept is funny as hell. I told her you have to kiss a lot of frogs to find a frog that can kiss back...
I've found most of the people on CM misrepresent themselves, usually intentionally. That being in the case of appearance, age, weight or current relationship status. Those are the no shows and people that vanish when it is time to meet. But some people misrepresent unintentionally. They aren't looking for a Ds or BDSM relationship they are looking for a regular relationship with some kinky sex thrown in. Nothing wrong with that, but don't lie to yourself or others about it. It's only a little bit easier to conceal the lying about your age and it does come out. Once you catch someone one lying all you can think about is, 'What else are they lying about?' |
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Was just looking through some photos on collarme. What is with all the sets of toys/paddles/etc pictures? Are they selling that stuff? Isn't it kind of assumed that if you are into this lifestyle you have some kind of toy collection? I could understand a picture of one amazing new toy that was so amazing you had to share.. but really.. all the toys and bondage gear on the bed makes you look like a noob. It would be like you looking at a car mechanic's site and he has a picture of his wrench set and screwdrivers.... |
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After dealing with Verzion for 16yrs finally decided to switch to t-mobile. Verzion's phone service was good but their mobile internet was crap with crazy dead areas and down time. But the phone service was always working. So far with about 12hours of T-mobile use have to say their phone service seems to work clearer and has same coverage in NYC area. And the Galaxy S4 blows the Iphone 4 away :D |
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What to say..
If you avoid the scammers on here (and there are a lot of them as of late) collarme journals are like reading a news feed of the human condition. It's all there, love, hope, hate, loss and all the rest. Oh and a huge dose of crazy.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Some words of advice...
1- if you are going to leave just leave.. you don't have to say you are going to leave and then be leaving for weeks and months.. just fucking leave.
2- why would you care even the slightest about the opinion of some random stranger that is only contacting you to be mean? would you care if some stranger drove by and shouted a curse word at you? maybe, but that person in the car is being braver then that random emailer.. so fuck them.
3- figure out why you are here. if you are here just to meet people, this is probably the wrong place as everyone here is damaged or different from the norm. there are places to meet people that are easier and safer. the majority of people on here aren't looking to meet as they are living their fantasy lives here.. real people screw with their fantasy.
4- if you are here living your fantasy life, good for you. but don't try to make others live in your fantasy world, cause there is barely room for one there. don't ask them inside your fantasy without letting them know it is just a fantasy and can only go but so far.
5- having said the above let me say there are a lot of people here that live a fetish or kinky life and use this to keep in contact with past friends and make some new ones. but good luck figuring out who they are :D |
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Meh? what does meh mean?
Meh usually means so indifferent that I can't take the time to type indifferent. |
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If a few questions can leave you confused and almost bring you to tears, you only think you know what you are about. No one will take you seriously if you aren't serious about who you are.
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Wicked Winter Fair 2013 was a pretty good time. While I was there heard about something called "Divine Decadence' which is going on in April at the Doubletree of Somerset, NJ. I have to look into it more before I decide if I am going or not.
Best line I heard on a tv show this month "If god didn't want us to shove things in our rectum he would have given it a gag reflex." I'm more of a shove-r then a shove-ie but I think I can reword this a bit and use it :D |
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Don't feel bad cause you were alone on Valentines Day..
Remember no one loves you the rest of the year as well.
;)
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Happy Single Awareness Day.. Or for those in a 'relationship' Happy Hallmark Day :D
I actually did make and give out a Valentine's Day card yesterday for today. I gave it to a friend at work that I like to joke around with. The inside had a little poem I wrote..
Roses are red, Violets are Blue, Here are some Knee pads, You know what to do...
I know.. I was thinking the same thing.. too subtle.. So I put two pictures of suggested poses while wearing knee pads under the poem.
Her husband should like the card I think.. |
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"Looking to try knew things"
Really? WTF? At first I wasn't sure if this was trying to be clever or just plain stupidity, but reading the rest of that profile let me know it was the a new level of bad grammar I had not previously encountered.
'Fifty shades of..." Me, things I like, things to do, color, etc.
Ok I get it, we all get it, it's great, it's amazing. You read a book.. way to drop a hint. |
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The world seems so crazy small. Sometimes I feel like life is a play and there are only a couple of hundred ?people for roles to play and they get constantly recast. That's how you run into someone that lived in your hometown when you are in europe. But I try not to think that too much cause I might believe it |
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I have a friend that I usually give sex toys to as birthday gifts etc. When I was at ComicCon this year I bought her a hat (one of those anime animal face hats). So I tell her I got her something at the Con. When I give it to her her face fell and I could almost hear her thinking "A hat? How can I have sex with a hat..." lol
Of course I had to give a sex toy too. |
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Was on a date from hell on Wednesday. Racist, crazy, full of herself.. The list goes on. At least it gave me a funny story to amuse my friends.
Did you know that preying mantis come from space? No one knows what they are, they aren't mammals or birds...
Crazy doesn't even cover it.. |
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A friend of mine wants to do a "sexy" 40th birthday for herself. Basically her and a bunch of her girlfriends are going to go to a bar or club in a private room and have a bachelorette type party. Drinking, games (with prizes) and a female stripper (which made me go huh?) that will teach them how to pole dance (ooooh...). Anyway, where I come in is she needs a bunch of inexpensive sex toys to give out as prizes.
Now I usually shop on eBay if I need something, since all the cheap porno shops have been driven out of the 42nd Street area. Freaking place looks like euro disney now. But I also usually only buy one or two items.. never needed 12 jeweled metal butt plugs at one shot. So I start searching and TA-DAAaaa!! One of companies in China I buy electronic junk from sells an ridiculously complete line of sex toys and items under it's health and beauty section. The only issues are that to get a good price you need to order a bunch of whatever it is and the couple of weeks it slow boats from China. And possibly problems with customs..lol.. have to see how this works out.
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Ah that warm feeling you get when you help some novice female put something in her ass. Cause I am just helpful like that. |
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So last night I was about the start a vertical sweep (walking down stairs looking for conditions and groups) of a 33 story building where I work. My partner and I are stretching before doing so. Now she is an older woman (ok, she is my age so fuck you.) and she is right at the edge of the stairs going down, when she tries to do a deep knee bend. She goes down, says "Oh Jesus!" and wobbles like she is going to fall down the steps.
This strikes me as so funny I have to laugh and lean against the wall. The only thing I can think is "oh no, she is going to fall down the stairs and I won't be able to call for help cause I am laughing too hard!" She caught herself and didn't fall down the stairs. We both are laughing then and she told me "I knew I had to save myself, cause you laughed so hard you had tears in your eyes."
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http://m.nypost.com/f/mobile/news/local/nypd_cop_charged_in_gal_pal_abduct_z03xYdAgoboAC0mtmiI
What the fuck! Really? Who is doing the psychological tests on these guys? |
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Well now I know way more about color nooks then I wanted to. Been working on a co-worker's nook tablet for that last two days (well kind of working on it, lots of looking up and out reach to tech support). Working good now so to either root it or make a nook to android flash card. |
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So this is what happened today...
My friend Rico (not his real name) and his girlfriend asked me out to lunch for my birthday (which was last week). So we go to the Chinese buffet that he likes (they make excellent peanut butter chicken) and when the bill comes Rico goes to pay it. It was more then he expected, coming out to about 15 and change a person and there are three of us and soda so it is like 46 something but he pulls out a fifty and got it covered.
So I say ok I'll leave the tip, I get out my wallet and he is saying no don't worry about it I got it. The waitress shows up at that moment to get the check and he tells her "Ok, keep the change, that's for you." Making shoeing motions with his hands.
The girl is looking at the check and at him and the check.. I can almost hear her thoughts.. "three dollars and change for a tip? REALLY??" I wasn't looking at her face but they told me she was giving him a death stare.. Luckily I have a five to throw in there to send her off to where ever she had to go off to next. Now in Rico's defense, math is not his strong suit.. it fact math is like.. He is just real bad at math ok? He wasn't thinking "three dollars live it up hello kitty".. ok ok he wasn't thinking something racist either.. I added that cause I thought it would be funny. He just doesn't know how tips work or how waiters and waitress' live on their tips. Anyway me and Sarha (not her real name) spend the next 20mins in the restaurant laughing and teasing him about this..
I am putting this up here so me, him and his girl friend can laugh about it forever cause that's what friends are for.. Thanks for the lunch and floor show bro :D |
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So I am at the gym the other morning, as usual after work (since I work nights). Now for the last two months I have been doing the elliptical machine for a few miles, at the moment up to 5 miles a day now. This is important to this story because I hate the fucking gym and all the stupid run/climb in place bs. So I distract myself by watching tv as I do it. Got the headphones on and watching like 3-4 channels at once I can do what I have to do.?
So at the gym, ellipticalling and channel surfing. Sweating being bored and distracted. Suddenly this is this girl.. Woman actually. About 25-30ish, 5' 5" 130, black hair in a pony tail, tight spandex white and pink stuff, ?and wearing makeup and earrings. I see all that at a glance when she passes my field of vision but not paying her any attention ?cause she can not compete with four channels of tv. So she starts doing her thing with five pound barbells. She is bending and twisting and whatever. I'm still doing my tv zen thing cause that's the only why I can do my miles. But at the edge of my vision I see makeup girl is kind of glaring at me from time to time, giving me the gas face when she thinks she is out of my vision. Finally she comes over to me on the elliptical and says something to me so I have to pop out an ear phone to hear her. Something about the hours the gym is open so I direct her to the front desk. She off she goes.. Few mins later she is back over in front of me working out with her barbells. So I finish up and leave and again, as I leave, gas face from makeup girl.?
So thinking about it later, I have no idea who this chick is, yet she is annoyed with me cause I don't pay her any attention. I got so pissed off when I figured that out. Really? I'm suppose to stop what I'm doing cause you are pretty and have a vagina? Sorry bitch I'm busy doing what's important to me. I wish I had figured this out at the time so I could have ignored her totally.? |
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So last night I'm riding around with on patrol with one of my co-workers and she asked me "So what is with guys wanting their assholes licked?"
This of course started a conversation that killed an hour or two. But my take on this is as follows..
I'm sure it feels nice, since women love it when I do it. But this is a slippery slope to play one, slippery like oil covered ice. Once you get your asshole licked then you want a finger in it, a small toy, a large toy.. and eventually a cock. So basically it is the gateway act to having a penis inside your ass. Again I know this cause this is basically my long term plan of licking some girls ass..
Now this is not to say that all men that like having their ass played with are gay/homosexual. I'm saying eventually they will be cause that is where that path leads. ;) |
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My new favorite commercial: Liquid Plumber double impact http://youtu.be/Z7fz0jpuLkM |
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Sometimes I wish I could just throw something to the ground and have it vanish in a puff of fire and smoke as I yell "And now it's gone forever!". That would so make the world a better place... For me 😁 |
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Just in case people are wondering why I looked at their profile, been reading journal posts and I am curious what came before or just wanted to see the profile that went with the post. |
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Why do women need an hour or more to get ready for anything? And I don't want to hear crap about hair.. Half the time they show up with wet hair in a ponytail or hair that hasn't seen water in days. Even when they set the time it seems impossible to hit their own mark.. "I'm here. Front of your house" "on my way downstairs" 15mins to make it to the car in front of their own house. |
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Does it sound like I have gotten more evil or just better at being evil?
So that's why I need to be with a girl with daddy issues. Cause then every fight ends with her saying she is sorry she is so fucked up and me saying it's ok, why don't you do that thing with your mouth I like and we just forget about this. |
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It's funny how nothing really changes on collarme. The journal entries all have the same patterns over and over again. |
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Had a nice text message chat with an interesting woman from collarme yesterday. She was bright and articulate (as much as possible through text messaging). Most interesting was that she did not spend lots of time on BDSM. Instead we actually talked about amusing and interesting things. Will wonders never cease... :) |
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Just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. It was by the advil. I am a cocky bitch. |
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I saw Sucker Punch yesterday. It was pretty much a let down. It was trying for "multi-layer complexity" like in Inception, but just came across as badly plotted. Even the action sequences were confused and jarring. Luckily I didn't have to pay for the movie :) I will recommend the sound track to this movie as it was awesome.
So far only movie I've seen recently I can recommend is Drive Angry. Simple plot, nice action, some nudity and good sound track. |
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To answer a question that was asked "Mostly to read the journals.. And if I find someone interesting or fun to chat or meet that's cool too."
"Mc slave" That made me laugh :) |
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This new profile pic was from my friend's wedding. I known the both of them for 11 and 8 years each and they are both heavy into the lifestyle. Wishing them both the best :D |
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Things got off to a bad start. When she told me she had the heart of a child, I didn't realize she meant in a jar by her bed... |
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Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all :) And yes they are almost over..woohoo!! |
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The follies which a man regrets most, in his life, are those which he didn't commit when he had the opportunity. |
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I have long since come to understand that people never mean half of what they say, and that it is best to disregard their talk and judge only their actions. |
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A girl texted me the other day and wrote "Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home. |
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As you journey through life take a minute every now and then to give a thought for the other people around you. Not just your friends and family but people you meet and pass as you go about your business. Think about all of them and remember...They could be plotting something. |
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Lets see... the vanilla dating thing ended badly (as I kind of thought it would.. oh well), that was before December though. Was at the Wicked Winter Fair, just was at Icon29 this weekend and looking forward to the Steampunk World's Fair. Other then that work as usual.
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Having been quiet here for the last few months I figured I would throw up a quick entry... I have been seeing this very vanilla woman for the last couple of months. I tell her she comes from "brady land" because of her very normal up bringing and back ground. Last month I took her to my friend's birthday party, my friend that is married to an ex-professional domme/web porn person. Things were ok till my friend started showing off all the adult toys and gizmos they had, like the collection of floggers, whips, etc, the queening potty seat, and other stuff. So the next couple of days were spend answering questions about what that was and how was it used. Since the woman I am dating didn't run screaming into the night I think I can count this as a win. ;)
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This is something I'm working on... It's going to be a kind of children's book for adults. There are going to be lots of cartoony illustrations in a kind of stick figure style and maybe another story.. but feel free to send me comments on this :D
One Armed Popeye sez life is
good..
This is based on a true story. I know this cause it
happened to me. This was when I was working as a Public Safety Officer, working
the day tour and covering a 40+ store mall by myself.
It was a cold rainy windy miserable Sunday morning.. I
was cold damp and pissed off about something.. Probably work related because
they would always fuck with me on Sunday. I really don’t remember what I was
pissed about. I know it was Sunday because all the stores that I would visit to
have something to do were closed. The two stores that were open were the crappy
nasty overpriced deli and the rehabitation center next to
it.
So I stood between the two stores and stared into the
rain, being pissed off and depressed.
The doors to the rehab center opened behind me, so I
turned to see who was coming out. I saw someone in a wheelchair and at my quick
glance I thought he looked like Popeye.. or maybe Popeye’s dad. He was kind of
old and salty looking. He was wearing a yellow rain coat. I looked
away…
Something wasn’t right.. I looked closer and realized he
only have one arm… and no legs.. as I watched he pulled a cigarette out of his
jacket and lit it.. smoking it in a closed fist.
He looked over at me.. “Hey how’s it going..” he said,
his voice rough and gravelly. “Been better.. crappy weather.” I said..
“I hear you.” He puffed slowly at his
cigarette.
I studied him from the corner of my eye… “Mind if I ask
you a question?
“sure” He smiled.
“What happened to you?”
“Well.. I was in Nam.. I
was walking through a field and I stepped on a landmine.. Blew my legs off and
my arm..” I winced..
“Lucky for me though, a copter was passing by right
overhead and saw me step on the mine.. they landed, bandaged me up and got me to
a mash unit and saved my life.”
I looked at him. “Don’t take this the wrong way.. but
was it really lucky?”
He looked at the rain and blew out a puff of smoke.. “Oh
yeah.. Life is good.”
Now I know at this point I should have been inspired and
uplifted by his example.. but really all that was going through my head was ‘Oh
you bastard.. How the fuck can I feel bad about anything while you’re over here
with your one damm arm and happy in the fucking rain… grrrr bastard..what about
if I push you out in the rain in front of that bus.. huh what then??’
But I didn’t say any of that.. I just watched the rain
with him…
And then bought him a cup of coffee… he drank it and
smoked at the same time.
We talked for a while, maybe 20mins.. and then he went
back into the rehab center.
I never saw him again..
And they closed the rehab center a few years after that
so our paths will never cross again.
But now.. when ever I feel self pity or sad about crap
that doesn’t really matter.. I just hear one armed Popeye in my head saying
“Life is good.”
And I know he was right.
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Freaking boring day, three people flaked for plans, one after the other.. Do I need a breath mint or something? sigh
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Awkward moment of the week.. this happened on Monday at the gym. I was using this weird cables and pulleys thing that I had not used before there cause it is always too crowded with people using and waiting to use it. But it was empty so I start playing with it.. I start trying to figure out what weight to use and how to use it. About 5mins into this, this muscular black dude asks me how many sets do I have left, so I tell him I'm just starting with this machine but he can jump in and I'll copy what he does. So we do about 5 sets, keeping the weight at what he uses normally, which blew out my shoulders and upper arms. He stands next to me and puts the palm of his hand on my shoulder and says "If you keep doing this, you are going to get real big here.", squeezing my shoulder. So I say "Cool." Two or four seconds pass...but his hand stays on my shoulder.. I kind of look over at his hand.. "Yah big shoulders would be nice." waiting.. hand still there... OK I GET IT! Those muscles will be worked out.. tap tap tap... "Sooooo let me do another set.." shrug of his hand and off I go...
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I was at a street fair in Manhattan today (on Madison Ave), hanging out with a life style couple I have been friends with for just about a decade. Both of them being pretty submissive it can be a real pain hanging out with them for long periods of time as they whine like little bitches back and forth the whole time. sigh.. And yet they are pretty stable as a couple so I guess it works for them.
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A couple of days ago I was at a mall in White Plains, hanging out with a friend from work and her son. I was keeping him out of trouble by bringing him to Hot Topic with me while his mom shopped at Hallmark for some cards.
While in Hot Topic, I picked up a couple of Watchman movie t-shirts on close out. As I'm paying for the shirts, the cute goth cashier starts talking to me about the movie. Tells me her name, her lack of friends that want to go to cool movies, etc.. Apparently 6yrs old is not too early to engage in cock-blockery.. Little b-boy jumps in the conversation with "are you going to take momma out to dinner again or are you going home with momma and me after this?".. haha kids.. blah..
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I was telling this story to a friend last night and figured it might make a funny entry here..
This was a while ago, 15 or so years ago when I was still messing around with married women (BAD BOB BAD!! ah well). This particular woman lived down in Manhattan in one of those small brownstones in the village area. I was working nights (even back then!) and would go to see her during the day while her husband was doing his office job thing. This went on for about 3 months, me seeing her about twice a week. We would have our play session, sex etc for a couple of hours, a quick shower and I would head back to the Bronx. SO the last time we meet we had to cut things short cause the husband was heading home early. When I call the next day (no cell phones back then) I hear him yelling in the background about "finding and killing that black bastard!" She has to hang up and I wind up talking with her a few days later. Seems he got all hot and sweaty on the ride back home and decided to take a shower when he got there. Everything was find till he pulls out the bathmat and there is a perfect damp copy of my foot print on the mat. No he wore a size 9 I have size 13 feet. He immediately realized his wife was cheating on him.. and with a black man!! (the big feet don't ya know).. So we parted under a cloud... Luckily CSI wasn't around back then or they could have photographed that, resized it and found me by my hospital baby prints..
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I went to a club last night that was hosting a comedy tour thing. It wasn't bad only one comedian wasn't that good but the other 4 were pretty funny. So I am sitting at these two tables with about eight other people (I only knew about 5 of them but whatever) and I get this strange text on my cell "Hey..." No name and the number isn't in my list so I text back "Hello. who is this? don't have a name for this number" I get back "turn around..." At this point me and the girl I'm sitting with are both getting jumpy.. I'm checking for laser targeting dots.. then I get a text
It's anna :) It's soo cute to see you.. blah blah blah.." There was more and it was cool to see her, but for a few seconds I was thinking 'ok exit doors are that way, that way and that way...' :D Of course it's just par for the course for me to run into someone from the middle of nowhere in lower Duchess country in a club in the middle of nowhere in the Bronx.
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I thought I had post my 'views' of the gym I have been going to the last couple of months but I see I did not. So let me do so now..
I've been going to the gym in the morning after work (I work midnight to 8am) and usually get there about 830ish and leave about 1015-1100. I noticed the people that are there can be broken down into 3 groups.. the wanderers, the serious and the skinny bitches. Note I am using bitch as a gender neutral word.
The wanderers come to the gym one or two days a week and kind of just wander around till they leave. They usually do one half hearted set on a machine and wander to the next one. They don't really bother me as they don't stay long.
The serious are there every freaking day and have a whole routine going on. When they get on a machine they do a whole bunch of set and usually have a legs day, chest day, etc. So they don't bother me either cause I kind of fit in with them.. kind of..
The skinny bitches.. Ok.. who wears makeup to a gym? Is it necessary to color coordinate every item you are wearing and carrying? Most important to me.. If you are talking to your friends, your cellphone whatever.. do you have to sit on one of the few machines and tie it up for 10-20mins while you don't use it? Those are the skinny bitches.. And they piss me off.. Most of them don't even need to be in a gym.. they are just there to flirt and hang out.. and get in my damm way... grrrr...
But in their defense, the annoyance and hatred I feel for them does make it much easier to get through my workout.. ;D
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When will it end? Are all my childhood icons going to die this year?? :(
**************************
MADISON, Wisconsin - Oscar G. Mayer, retired chairman of the Wisconsin-based
meat processing company that bears his name, has died at the age of 95.
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There are times when I really wish I knew other sane people so I could get a reality check.. Sometimes it is hard to figure out if a different opinion is just that or a totally different view of reality. The actual thing I am thinking about is a thing that happened at work and so far I have told this story three times and twice people have focused on the fact that the old man that was harassed used racial slurs describing his harassers instead of the other stuff involved. I have to stop them with "You do realize that racial slurs are not illegal? It's just impolite and in this case stupid as two of the officers assisting were black." Oh the slur used was N*gg*r btw. But he was directing it the teens that spit on him. Also.. spiting on someone.. is a best a violation.. it's not assault, it's harassment.
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It's always cool when you think about someone and just a couple of days later they call or text. Even better when they send kinky pics by cellphone ;)
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My newest pet peeve.... lazy or ebonic emails and texts.. I freaking hate it when someone types 'u' for 'you', '4' for 'for' or 'r' for 'are'. I hate it worse when they can not spell or I have to fill in letters to make their message make some kind of sense. I can sort of understand it when it is cellphone to cellphone but why the hell would anyone send an email with junk like that in it? I makes them look like lazy idiots..
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I recently been to two movies in the last three days, an animated movie called Up and a science fiction movie called the Land of the Lost. My very, very short reviews follow. The movie Up is an animated movie made for adults, because it primarily deals with the themes of loss responsibility and continuing in the face of adversity. And they should have called it Downer, cause you going to cry a lot. In spite of that it's a good movie for couples and families, I guess. I expected to hate the movie the land of lost, but was pleasantly surprised to be entertained. Will Ferrell is his usual funny buffoon, crazy man character that is pretty entertaining to watch. Also, this movie was based on the 1970s TV show of the same name and was pretty true to the source material. I think it was worth the money to watch it in a theater.
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So against my better judgment, I have been going on dates that friends and family have set me up. This is somewhat of a horror show for me as half the time, the person I'm dating is far more interested in me than I am in them. Also there is that whole awkward thing of them thinking, "I bet he's wondering how to get into my pants" when I'm actually thinking, "I wonder how she's going to react when I tell her, I want to tie her up and spank her". And the answer to that is, of course, not well.
I think this is why I prefer online interviewing before going on any kind of date, because then at least we both have some kind of clue of what we're getting into. I do find it kind of interesting that a lot of people really don't know what the hell they want anyway. It's just very discouraging to keep wasting time.
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I just heard that David Carradine has died. I am so bummed out.. AND I DO NOT BELIEVE He would commit suicide. This is bs!
http://www.cnn.com/2009/SHOWBIZ/06/04/obit.david.carradine/index.html?eref=rss_topstories
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Friend sent me a link to a youtube video of Louis Ck.. funny stuff.
[url]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2DxXwkqgW70&feature=related[/url]
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This didn't happen to me this time.. but I have have had this happen.... I also get the people that are suddenly surprised to be asked what food they will want after they and I have waited on line about 20mins.. ARRGHHH!!
3PM NewsFlash: Woman Beaten to Death with Krullers. Ruled "Justifiable."
Soccer mom: Can I have a medium iced latte? (pause) Wait, how much is a large?
Employee: $2.99.
Soccer mom: And how much is the medium?
Employee: $2.69.
Soccer mom: So which is the better value?
Employee: Huh?
Soccer mom: How many ounces are in the large? How many are in the medium? What's the cost per ounce of each?
Next customer in line (me): Here's thirty cents, just give her a large.
Soccer mom: I'm not sure if I want a large.
Rest of very long line: Argh!
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One of my friends is dating way above her head. What I mean by that is, she is dating someone that she believes she should be dating. Rather than dating someone she enjoys dating. The reason I think this is above her head. Is that she cannot be herself around this person. Since we were both off work in the evening today, she asked me if I want to meet her for dinner. So I go to pick her up, and she just complaining about all the various problems that she has, personal problems everybody has, stuff with her daughter, her mom, her sister, her job, etc.. She's venting the whole time that were together and when we get to the restaurant get into the argument with the valet parking. Then when we are in the restaurant get into an argument with the maître d. Now normally, my friend gets into arguments, but they are few and far between and usually have a point. This is her just blowing off steam. And the reason she's doing it is that she cannot act this way when she is on a date with the guy that she think she should be dating. In other words, she can't be herself. So we talked about this, and she agreed, but she will continue to keep dating this guy until it ends. And she will continue to not be herself.
I not sure if I expressed myself well in this entry.. the main problem
I see with her dating this guy is she is lying to him by not being
herself.. and how long can you go on and not be yourself? How can this have a happy ending?
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This was kind of funny today so I thought I would share. As usual, it's the last 40 odd minutes of my tour when I get some call takes me way out of my sector and away from base. Some bs call about a suspicious person lurking (almost always unfounded :P). Anyway, standing in the lobby and letting my backups and some of the bldg tenants exit and the female Lt comments on how shinny the lobby floor is polished (very mirror like in fact and the sun is bouncing off it). So I and her are looking at the floor when a elderly female gets off the elevator and sees us in the lobby. "What's going on? Is there a problem?" she asks panicky . So the Lt says "Oh I was just saying how nice and shinny they keep the floor here." This starts the old woman on a tirade about how dangerous shinny floors are and how many people she knew died cause of shinny floors... At first (the first couple of seconds) I thought she was fucking with us.. but no.. according to this woman every fourth or fifth person she has ever known has been seriously injured or died from overly shinny floors... After she leaves I spend the rest of the tour (and a bit beyond) going on about how "and then my aunt once ran too fast on a shinny floor and burst into flames.. etc.. etc"
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Ah well, all good things come to an end. My nice two weeks vacation ends tonight when I return to patrol at midnight. But there was lots of fun and some actual cleaning of my apartment got done!
Today I hung out with a friend I have been avoiding for a couple of weeks cause he really brings me down. Little ambition is ok, no ambition is horrible. I can't understand why anyone past 25 or so would want to live with their parents. Then again, he does not work so that works out for him.. sigh. And by not work I mean has no job and is not looking for a job. Grrr..
But it was fun talking about old times.. so it goes.
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This was a few year back, when I was still dealing with married women...
I had driven up to Monroe NY to meet this girl I had been chatting and phoning with. She was 'separated' but her and the husband shared the house they were trying to sell. I was suppose to pick her up and we go to lunch or hotel, whatever but when I get up there she says 'ex-husband' was called into work and would be gone all day. So I park on a nearby street and walk up this long freaking driveway to this pretty huge house. She answers the door in a robe and teddy and (wonder of wonders) looks much better then her pictures. I play it cool and she shows me around this house, then at the upstairs bedroom we start making out, hair pulling, 'forced' bj what have you. About 40mins into this, my spider sense tingles.. I can hear a car coming up the driveway. She runs naked and sweaty to the front to look out the window and it's the husband. She grabs a bigger robe from the bathroom and says "don't worry he probably just forgot something.. I'll chase him back to work."
Meanwhile, I have gathered up my clothes. I had my underwear on when I heard the downstairs down bang open and some yelling going on. I opened the window, stepped out on the roof of the patio, closed the window and jumped into the back yard. I'm not sure if this is the way it happened but in my memory I had dressed myself and landed in a cool batman landing pose in the grass.. but maybe not.. I run to across this huge backyard to the tall hedge that surrounds it and crash into the chain link fence behind the hedge...
Squeezing between the hedge and the fence, no easy feat for me let me add, I climb over the fence, drop into the next yard and then race the dog (a big but quiet German Shepard) to the gate..
then to my car and to the highway I go.. I'm just getting past the toll booth when my cell phone rings..
It was her telling me that I could come back, he had seen me but was ok with it and blah blah blah. I said, "Sorry babe.. I don't throw away a perfectly executed escape."
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Just got this new toy or combination item, called the Love Seat. Basically its a bootleg sybian. It uses a Hitachi Magic Wand, with a variable speed control and a firm foam pillow that holds the wand so it can vibe against the clit of the woman kneeling it. I put up a picture of it.. seems pretty cool.
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People either have an interest in BDSM stuff or they don't. I have no idea why I always meet ones that claim to have interest but really are just looking to meet a 'nice guy'. Now while I am I 'nice guy" and sane, safe, etc. if we don't have that commonality of interest it's just a waste of both our time. I have been the way I am for a long time. I do not date 'normal/vanilla' cause it does not work out.
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A friend of mine was asking about how to make silicon toys. I knew it was possible but had not looked into it. This is what I found out....
The Silicon you use needs to "Platinum cured", as opposed to "Tin"... Platinum
has no taste, and is what they use in food grade silicon, "Tin" tastes bad, and
is poisonous. Cheapest place to get it is Smooth-On
, which
has a soft (Shore 10A) platinum-cure silicone (Smooth-Sil 910) with a 1-1 mix by
volume. A 2 pound (~1 quart) sample size is only $29 plus shipping, which will
make 1-4 dildos depending on size. They have all the other stuff you need too,
including exhaustive instructions
on how to use it.
Close attention must be paid to what the models and molds are made of or sealed
with, and thorough mixing of the 2 components is imperative. |
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Saw Repo! the genetic opera, with a shadow cast in Huntington tonight (4/25). The audience was a mixed bag age wise, but the shadow cast group was all pretty young. They did a great job of it and were all very into the whole Repo! thing. It's nice to see geekdom will continue into the foreseeable future! This makes the sixth or seventh time I've seen this movie and the second with a shadow cast. If you haven't seen it yet check it out.
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When the Devil is too busy
And Death's a bit too much
They call on me by name you see,
For my special touch.
To the Gentlemen I'm Miss Fortune
To the Ladies I'm Sir Prize
But call me by any name
Any way it's all the same
I'm the fly in your soup
I'm the pebble in your shoe
I'm the pea beneath your bed
I'm a bump on every head
I'm the peel on which you slip
I'm a pin in every hip
I'm the thorn in your side
Makes you wriggle and writhe
(Chorus)
And it's so easy when you're evil
This is the life, you see
The Devil tips his hat to me
I do it all because I'm evil
And I do it all for free
Your tears are all the pay I'll ever need
(End chorus)
While there's children to make sad
While there's candy to be had
While there's pockets left to pick
While there's grannies left to trip down the stairs
I'll be there, I'll be waiting 'round the corner
It's a game. I'm glad I'm in it
'Cause there's one born every minute
(chorus)
I pledge my allegiance, to all things dark
And I promise on my damned soul
To do as I am told, Lord Beelzebub
Has never seen a soldier quite like me
Not only does his job, but does it happily.
I'm the fear that keeps you awake
I'm the shadows on the wall
I'm the monsters they become
I'm the nightmare in your skull
I'm a dagger in your back
An extra turn upon the rack
I'm the quivering of your heart
A stabbing pain, a sudden start.
(Chorus)
And I do it all for free
Your tears are all the pay I'll ever need
And I do it all for free
Your tears are all the pay I'll ever need
It gets so lonely being evil,
What I'd do to see a smile
Even for a little while,
And no one loves you when you're evil
I'm lying through my teeth!
Your tears are all the company I need
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I recently read a really cool book called "The Technology of Orgasm: Hysteria, the Vibrator and Women's Sexual Satisfaction". It is basically the history and origin of the vibrator... which is not at all what you probably think it is. The very short form is vibrators were invented because doctors did not have the time or inclination to masturbate all their female patients to orgasm. The longer form just builds on that.. told you it was cool.
I was inspired by this book to start collecting antique vibrators.. I have several now.. a 1920s battery operated portable one, a 1925 plug in one, a 1940s plug in one and one that may be from 1950s.. I'm thinking on doing some kind of steampunk exhibit at conventions or something.
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Has it been a year since I last posted a journal entry here? How time flys when you are having fun (and how it drags by on broken legs when your not...)
The last year was interesting, but could have been better.. New friends, new enemies, etc. Oh the ipod touch! One of the most amazing gadgets ever...
I guess I haven't been writting here as I don't have much to say..
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A friend of mine had lost her keys in my car when I drove her home.
When I finally returned them I had put a pink belt/pants hook thing on
them to help her find them. The other night I get this text message
from her..."Everytime i look at my keys I think about you since you got
me that cute pink thing lol".. After I read it the next day I replied
"So everytime you look at your cute pink thing you think of me? That's
hot :D"
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Wow.. rainy as hell out today.. started building a raft just in case. Actually I think the wind blowing the rain against my windows (AS I TRY TO SLEEP) is making it seem worse then it is. But that is neither here nor there.
Last night at work, driving out on patrol and my cell rings. Hmm number I do not know.. with a odd area code. It was another 'voice from the past' (tm).. an ex from like 15 years ago that didn't work out.. the usual stuff.. distance, her husband, etc.. She found an old disk with all our old chats on it and some letters etc. so she did some online searching and found my number. It was a nice call and we laughed about old times. I was an evil bastard back then.. lol or maybe she only saved the evil stuff. I did not remember that an ice cube in a lubed condom takes 6mins 14sec to not feel freezing in a rectum.... and so it goes..
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I have a friend that is going through a long slow divorce (are there
any other kinds..). It was kind of funny listening to her stories.. the
husband is currently doing repentance act 12, i.e. on his best behavior
in the hopes of not being tossed out. But it seems too late. He spends
a lot of his time checking up on her, acting jealous etc. which she
doesn't understand at all (she has never cheated on him). Basically he
is projecting himself onto her.. if he was pushing her out the door, he
would have her replacement lined up and ready. So he KNOWS she has
someone..lol even if the truth is she is currently sick of men.
Personally I can see this lasting another year or two easily.. my
friend buries herself in work and taking care of her children (and
treating the husband as one of them), so she can tolerate the
situation. ;) Been there, done that and still have the t-shirt.
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Well no one has pointed out a funny or interesting journal yet. Let me recommend the site over heard in NY. It is always something funny and or interesting.. and it comes in little easy to read bites. :D
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Are there any interesting or funny journals on Collarme? I've found a couple on myspace but nothing that wows me on here. I've just spent about an hour looking for something good and noticed most of the journals are 1 to 5 entries...
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This was kind of funny so I thought I would share it.. no one I work with reads this (or seems to read much of anything..) so this seems a good place to vent this.
This morning as I was leaving work I ran across a former co-worker.. in that she worked in a totally different dept. She had moved on to bigger and better things, but her new husband still works there. So she dropped him off and saw me waved and we chatted. She would often be a little flirty but would scamper away when I flirted back. This time I just asked "how come we never went out for coffee or lunch or something?" Her reply was "It was the or something that worried me.. I was told about you.." Turns out a bunch of people were (and possibly are) telling vicious evil truths about me.. sigh... so hard to live up to the legend..
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Even though I had to work on HALLOWEEN cause I was ordered and couldn't
goto the parade or have any fun, all is not lost.. there is still one
thing I can and did do tonight that was Halloween related. I am of
course talking about the half off sales at the costume shops. I love
half off sales.. the only thing better is more then half off.
The
best sales are always at those specialty shops that only open about a
month before Halloween and then close a week after. Like the one I went
to Scarsdale...
In this shop a lot of the items had already been
repriced lower the day after Halloween, but now it was 50% current
price.. so costumes that were 120 before Halloween where first 100 and
then 50.. it's pretty cool.. if you need or want costumes.
But
because I am currently without a gf to play dress up with, I avoided
the costumes and focus on things that make good presents. Multi
patterned tights and stockings are always good.. so I got a bunch of
them. My friend, Carlos, got some for his gf and a cape for himself
(cause he is weird like that). The owner of the store is ringing us
up.. and the owner is very very gay.. like sitcom gay.. lisp and
everything..
Owner: 'Well you certainly like tightss... are you putting on a show? or doing retail?'
Me: chuckle saying 'no they are for wearing.'
Owner: 'Well they aren't going to fit you, we do have plus sized if you want.. on the rack'.
Me: 'I don't wear tights.'
At this point Carlos has to pipe up with 'But I would fit in those.'
Owner: 'yes you would *stares at Carlos* are you buying that cloak?'
A few more moments of homo erotic tension ensued between Carlos and the owner before we pay and leave.
Sometimes a man has to wear stretchie pants...
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Since I was feeling guilty about scout spending most of her time in her
cage (cause she is freaking evil!) I decided to let her have the run of
the apartment for the last few days.. Bad idea.. no doubt scout used
ferret hypnosis on me or something equally evil and ferret-like. So..
scout ripped open a bunch of food packages, several bars of soap (and
chewed them ick), dragged all kinds of plastic and rubber junk under my
bed (which is huge and a bitch to clean under) and, finally, pooped all
over the god damm place. Now normally she poops either in corners or
against a wall... no now she poops in the center of the room.. near the
tv, under my computer desk.. places like that.. Why the change? Cause
she is freaking evil that's why!!
Now I have to clean and I hate to
clean.. cause I have to much junk.. Ever see a new looking tv, vacuum
cleaner or set of books thrown out and you think "gee why would someone
throw this out? it looks almost new..." They threw it out cause they
have no damm room.. Grrrr.. sucks being trapped by your possessions.
Anyway.. I have heard the phrase "orgy of violence" and basically it
means a lot of violence, a whirlwind of violence.. I have also heard
the phrase "orgy of cleaning".. meaning a lot of cleaning... That
didn't happen with me.. it was more of a masturbation of cleaning..
meaning there was just enough cleaning to satisfy me.. oh I teased
myself with thinking about more cleaning.. maybe throwing large amounts
of stuff out.. but once the poop was up... done..
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Girl vs Guy Logic
This wasn't what I originally planned to write about but trying to figure out the first thing led to this...
As
a student of human nature I often see patterns of behavior that aren't
obvious to the causal viewer.. this time I speak of the major
differences between how the female and male minds work.. I call this
Girl Logic vs Guy Logic. Now I know everyone kind of realizes that men
and women have different ways of thinking. But it is not just a
male=physical solutions and female=social solutions.. the way they
process information, the weight that each datum and fact has and the
end result is totally different for each sex. The end result is that
even if you have an opposite sex adviser, they usually can't help you
in matters of the heart because you can provide a clear view of the
problem as they would see it.
Now I know dear readers (all 3 of
you), you are probably saying "gee Bob you write about funny stuff..
this isn't funny..*whine*". Relax.. the funny is coming..(I hope).
So..
er.. ah yes.. different sex observation.. in general men and women
can't figure out the other side's mood with out broad clues.. as in
tears= sadness, laughter= happy, blank look= incomprehension, etc. If
you are a close friend of a person of the opposite sex sometimes it is
possible to see they are behaving different from their norm and guess
they are sad/ nervous/ excited, etc. Now the 'fun' comes in when a
person goes to an opposite sex friend for advice about another opposite
sex friend. The person looking for advice will tell the other friend
the events and actions that led up to the current situation, but leave
out a lot of stuff that doesn't seem important to her/him. This means
the other person (giving the advice) will assume that those things
didn't happen.. so their advice is usually flawed. Hmmm this isn't very
funny.. I was planning on somehow ending this with "red nail polish??!
why didn't you say that! That changes everything.. Though if she had on
black pumps she.. red? four inch heels? You have a problem my friend!!"
but cant figure out how to make that work... ;P
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As
a scholar of human nature I often observe minor points of psychology
that I see in action but have no idea why it works. Today I will talk
about "the com'on factor".
This
is the observation; while i was working at a club, an exotic dancer
came there to perform. Afterwards i was talking to some other girls and
asked them if they would ever consider doing that (dancing semi-nude
for money). The first girl said she wouldn't, because she had too much
self respect for herself and things of a similar nature. I listened to
this line of argument and then replied "oh com'on." This stopped her,
she thought about it for a few seconds and then said "well maybe if...
blah blah blah". Next girl few minutes later, first no I wouldn't, "oh
com'on.", reconsidering, "yeah I would...." It didn't work on the
third girl..But did on the fourth.
Concluding;
I am not sure why "com'on" caused these women to re-evaluated their
stance. Maybe they felt that way before but didn't want to admit it.
Maybe this is a magical phrase that manipulates the human psychology.
Maybe my psionic mind control powers are finally working (Bwhahahaha!).
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I had to remove the same J. Witness several times from different
buildings. Finally I explained to him that the next time I would arrest
him for trespassing and soliciting. He listened with a mulish
expression on his face. When I finished he told me "well god bless
you!" and turned to walk away.
Now
I knew he was saying "god bless you" but meant "f**k you". So I replied
"And god bless you!" We blessed each other once or twice more and then
went our separate ways.
About
two weeks later I see the same JW walking the opposite way as I was
walking out to post. He sees me and grimaces and then growls "god bless
you." I smile back at him, saying "god bless you and the horse you rode
in on." he laughed, I win!
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A few years ago I was visiting a friend's house and had to use the bathroom. Using his bathroom was always a scary thing cause it was insanely dirty, with huge dust bunny under the loin clawed bathtub and behind the toilet. So I do my thing (number 1 for those wondering) and go to wash my hands. I then notice the bar of soap is bone BONE dry. Dry to the point where it is hard and sort of brittle. I wash my hands, having to work the soap a bit to get it to give any lather. As I am doing this I realize there is no other soap in the bathroom.. So after I finish I use my finger nail to lightly cut my initials in to the soap (RB) and put it cut side down in the dish.
Several months pass before I return to that friend's apartment. But I do eventually go there.. and use the bathroom. As I use the toilet again (number one, thanks for asking) I see a bone dry bar of soap on the tray... I flip it over and DA DA DAAAAA!!! I see RB... the horror.. the horror..
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I went to the 'digital life expo' at the Javits Center today. I was pretty well disappointed. Nothing amazing or even very cool. I did see a lot of very bad ideas given form though. There was a card game that required a PS3 to play.. oh yeah and a table to set up the cards, the cards, etc. Hmmm so I need to have my electronic stuff to play this paper card game? Oh and it's collectable? (as in we want you to buy more cards..) There was a little handheld optical character reader thing for scanning lines of text.. but it needed to be hooked up to a computer so not that portable and if I have a computer I can just scan the whole page at once on a scanner. There was also a cute little text IM thing, a little bigger then a gameboy advanced. Used wifi for texting for free.. but they have little skype and other free phone devices that use wifi so what's the point? Ah well..
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Is there anything worse then a 'friend' fucking you over? This didn't happen to me, but another friend of mine, trying to help her friend, let the 'friend' do a job for her. Since the 'friend' was a friend they felt no need to job quickly, taking a week or so for a one or two day task. Then when the item in question is returned to my friend it is more damaged and broken then before... oh yah, and it's not even her item.. it's her mom's. Yep, no one fucks you over like a 'friend'.
Now to be fair (no I don't know why I am being fair) I have done stuff for my friends and dragged my feet, taking a week or two to repair a computer when I could have banged it out in a day or two, but I did fix it and I usually don't charge labor (or parts if I have something laying around). I have never made anything worse then it was though... that is unforgivable.
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Gaming related deaths..I
know I can be cruel and somewhat heartless.. but am I the only one that
laughs when he(she) hears about someone dieing from playing some online
game too much? I mean com'on that is freaking hilarious... Why is it
only Asians that this happens too though? I wonder...
Story on Yahoo News (http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20070917/od_uk_nm/oukoe_uk_china_internet_death;_ylt=As40zyzEYodIaV6z.3_teaCdk3QF)
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I had meant to post this earlier but real life was too busy. Then I was talking to a friend and remembered.
I can understand if you are doing a scene or you are with your significant other and require that he/she call you sir/ma'am/master/mistress whatever. But doesn't anyone feel silly being introduced at a party or social gathering as "Master Padlocks" or "Mistress Ravenshadow"? It's kind of obvious who is doing what role at these things.. I find it hard not to giggle when grown men and women are introduced like comic book characters. In that same vein, I don't need to have Master or Sir added to my name unless I am doing something with or too you. My self image is fine thanks ;)
I bring this up because someone was trying to tell me events at past parties and the comic character names made it hard to follow. "Master suchandsuch?" "You met him.. Bill?" "Then just say Bill.."
Also referring to yourself in the third person.. cute for a while.. but there had better be an off switch.
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Today I
decided to walk in a direction I haven't gone in for a couple of years,
down by the Bronx River Parkway. There is a foot path that follows it
from near the Bronx Zoo/ Gardens all the way up to Yonkers. So I start
walking. After a while I start walking through the paths off to the
side, as its more fun to step over logs and look for paths through the
bushes and stuff. I walk up a small hill and in the opening are two
teens making out. I wasn't trying to be quiet but I'm not a noisy
walker so I see them before they notice me, but before I can back out
the way I came up the girl sees me and jumps, scaring the guy and they
both grab their book bags and flee like I'm about to kill them. Sigh..
sorry guys didn't mean to interrupt.
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I have a friend that spends his life doing pointless things, which is
cool as it is his life. However, he told me a story today I feel I have
to write some where so here it goes. Recently, Howard (not his real
name) has decided to learn to write Chinese. Now the characters of
Chinese are written in brush strokes so a ball point pen won't cut it.
He comes to me with his idea involving bottles of ink and bushes. I say
go buy a calligraphy pen. I've seen cheap ones at Staples for 3 to 5
dollars. This is a few days ago. I see Howie again and he tells me a
long story of how he went to a couple of local stores and they didn't
have his pen. So he calls Staples. "Do you sell calligraphy pens?"
"yes" "What brands do you have?"
At
this point I have to stop him.. "Why did you ask that? What the fuck
does it matter what brands they have? Do you know any brands of
calligraphy pens? No you don't cause you have never heard of them
before I told you to get one." After a moment my world view had evened
out and I told him to continue his story.
"Uh
brands? Let me check.." he waits on hold for 20mins.. "hello can I help
you?" "yes I am waiting to see what brands of calligraphy pens you
carry." "Oh.. hold please" Another 15mins waiting.. "We don't sell
them. Sorry "
So
now he asks me where to try next... "They sell the pens.. they just
were too busy to go look for you. You live six blocks from Staples.. go
fucking check!"
AHhhhhhh! Needed to void my mental bowels...I feel better now.
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What is it about the end of summer that makes people snap? Last week there where something like six attempted homicides and three successful ones. Since I didn't really know any of the people killed, it hasn't affected me much.
I did talk to one of the attractive grief councilors though, about an hour after one of the shootings. 'Since the shooting.. I can't preform sexually...' I told her sadly. 'When did the shooting happen?' 'A little over an hour ago.' '............. you're an ass.' And then she laughed and walked away. :D Damm it she could have cured me! But all this violence does mean one thing to me.. LOTS OF OVERTIME! Woohooo money!
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Having recently attended a lifestyle type party I would just like to say something about soap. As it is the 21st century and we live in the USA, soap and water are as close to free as they be. Why don't people use them? Why do people show up at a party (with the idea of meeting people) stinky and wearing dirty clothes? Also, musk oil and the like are not being clean.. now they are dirty and covered in smelly oil. Am I the crazy one here?
PS: Not washing your hair means you still arent clean!
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Ah even a crappy day at work can have a funny story. I had to go to a call of a male falling off a terrace rear of a bldg. Since the buildings where I patrol are up to 33 stories this could have been messy. But it was only a fall from the 3rd floor. When I get to the scene the aided was sitting on nearby low wall, looking disorientened, bleeding from his mouth and hands, and covered in dirt from his fall into it. He said he was 17yrs old and visiting his girlfriend when he fell off the terrace. 'Were you pushed?' 'no..' 'what is your girlfriend's name?' '....' "what apt is she in?' '....' At first I thought I had a clumsy burglar.. but the real story is funnier. Seems he was hanging out with his young teenage girlfriend when she thinks her father is coming home (as in opening the door to the apt) so she tells the boyfriend to leave by the window.. which he does.. and drops three stories into dirt and grass.. By the way.. that wasn't her father at the door.
In closing, as I was growing up I've taken my share of beatings for stuff I should have know better then to do. This is a case where a beating was in the cards.. He should have raised instead of folding ;)
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And so the cleaning continues. At a very slow pace.. cause I hate to clean. But so far, several stacks of magazines, large trash bags of clothing and various dead electronic devices have made there way to the trash. Just a bit more and the spanking bench will be able to come out of the corner.. sigh.. someday. It seems single, male and packrat is a bad combination.
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Funny bug stories...
Today I had to enter the apartment of an elderly female that had passed a week or so ago. She had been removed when she died, but no one had any luck contacting a next of kin. So me and an area manager had to enter the apt and find a phone book or some numbers to straighten this out. I realized this was going to be fun when the Greg (the area manager) picked up a book on the coffee table and a horde of bugs ran every where. Now I don't like roaches.. but I don't scream like a little girl when I see them (like Greg). Everything he touched seemed to have bugs under it and he would jump back and curse and scream.. it was pretty funny. We found the numbers after 20 minutes or so of searching..
While we waited for the elevator I told him a story of a time I had taken a road trip to Florida. It was about ten thirty or so at night and I had been driving through this horrible rain storm for the last 2 or 3 hours. Finally I had enough and started looking for a hotel. Another 30mins of looking and getting on and off of I95 a couple of times I find a small hotel in the middle of nowhere Georgia. The room only cost 28 dollars. It was a run down room with old furnishings but clean. I turned the AC on high, took off my clothes, killed the light and went to sleep. A couple of hours later I wake up feeling itchy.. I turn on the light and the room is crawling with bugs.. the floor, walls, ceiling and the bed! I jump out of bed naked, screaming like a bitch, jumping around the room trying not to step on bugs. I ran to the door and fling it open and.. it is raining worse then before.. my car is about two feet from my door and I can't see it. I just stand there.. look at my car.. look back in the room.. the bugs look back at me.. sigh.. I close the door.. shake the top sheet out.. wrap myself up like a mummy and toss myself on the bed.. I fall asleep and wake up still all wrapped in the sheet.. I peek out and all the bugs are gone.. not a sign of them.. even the ones I stepped on were gone.. was like a bug ghost story.
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Let's see.. what to write about. I just finished three weeks of vacation. yay! Now back at work. boo! Was hanging out with a friend from high school that I hadn't seen in a few years. It seems some people stay the same no matter what. I also went to a odd party thing in Manhattan where another friend did a self needling demo. It was cool but not something I'm into.
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Dear diary, I hadn't written cause nothing interesting was happening. Oh the occasional funny drunk or slut at the club, but nothing worth writing home about. However, having had a few weeks of vacation away from the job.. still not much of interest. I do find it interesting that this is the only site that I get the one of email from some guy (sub or dom) that starts with "I realize you aren't gay but..." or words to that effect. Frankly thats creepy. And no lesbians ever sent me "I realize I'm gay but...".. sigh.. Such is life.
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Went to the O&A traveling virus show at Jones Beach yesterday. Was a last minute thing as a friend called with an extra ticket. Was excellent, didn't realize comedy worked with a 5000 person stadium. Anyone looking to check out funny comedians should do a web search for Jimmy Norton, Otto & George, Stephen Lynch, etc.
Tomorrow starts bike patrol training... should be fun (not). But good exercise. Hopefully I'll survive it.
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I saw this while walking this afternoon.. there was a very old man sitting on a bench behind one of the buildings in the area I patrol. I saw he had his hand around his crouch and was kind of wiggling it. At this point I was kind of grossed out and started walking towards him. Now I was he had a shelled peanut in his hand and was wiggling that at a bush. Suddenly a small black squirrel popped out of the bush, ran to his feet, smelled up towards the peanut and then climbed up his bare leg to get to his lap and take the peanut. The squirrel then leaped back into the bush. This whole thing happened in about 2-4 seconds... since the old guy was playing with himself in public I left him there.. but feeding squirrels nuts by your nuts is nuts... isn't it?
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As a student of human nature I often see patterns of behavior that aren't obvious to the causal viewer.. my current discovery I call Boobnosis.
"Boobnosis" is a process in which critical thinking faculties of
the male mind are bypassed and a type of selective thinking and perception
is established by use of the display and/or jiggling of large female breasts.
In layman's terms, breasts are used by women as cheat codes in the real world. Some males (such as myself) are somewhat immune to this phenomena but most are horribly vulnerable.
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I went to a broadway play over the weekend. It's wierd that I live in one of the culture centers of the world and really don't do much here. I do hate the smell of mahattan though.. the great unwashed masses.. the beggers.. the rudness. The play was Ave Q and it was very funny. It was kind of like x-rated muppets (which makes no sense but describes it well).
(I was asked why there is little or no BDSM stuff in my journal here.. two reasons, one what would I say? 'I got a new flogger and it roxx!'?? and two, not much happening on that front as I working alot. :) )
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Saw Pirates of the Carib 3 last night.. very long but not bad (though I disliked the ending). The new thing now is to have a 20-30sec scene after the credits.. which are usually 6-12mins long.. it's evil yet brilliant. Nothing like laughing at the poor fools who missed that extra 20 secs of movies.. ... sigh.
(since I have been asked this, no this doesn't mean I really feel superior for sitting like a jerk through 20mins of credits.. this is called sarcasm).
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The new spiderman movie is crap! There I said it! It's so bad I want to buy it on DVD so I can edit it into something watchable.
I also want to say.. Why do guys with no money go to clubs to pick up women? I see this all the time. I could understand flirting say in a park or a beach with no cash, but... In the same vein, sloppy drunk is not sexy.
My horrible character flaw is still in effect, some cute but far too young (for me) lady was telling me how she once got so drunk she started dancing on the bar counter and taking off her clothes. So I'm saying "oh thats awful, what else happened?" while I'm thinking "mmm we do have a special on beer buckets..." ;D
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Ah Work sucks so much. I started a part time bouncing thing on the side but there goes the weekend :P On the bright side I get to keep living in the luxurious style I have grown to like (i.e. living indoors and electricity). For the last four months I've been helping a friend (a male friend) get back together with a girl he had broken up with. I also know the girl he broke up with, but didn't talk to her about it. About three months into this I finally ask her a few things and then I realize that crazy people have no idea what the hell is going on. She had moved on and pycho boy was slowly becoming a stalker.. But a couple of police reports and union interventions later its all better.. Non-stop fun and excitiment.
I do apologize to the few people that emailed me and I never returned anything. Haven't been near my computer for stuff like email in a while.
Oh.. ICON was in april. Was lots of fun. Where else can you get into an argument about Cthulhu? I still say the elder gods don't want to be made into plushtoys...
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I've been busy at work so haven't had a chance to write anything for a
while. But since I have some time today ;)
What is the deal with the new er..
rule or tradition I have encountered in instant
messaging, emails and phone calls from people I have just met (well gotten in
contact with anyway) from online? There is some thing now that if I don't start
with some sort of sexual content with in the first couple of emails or within
about 30mins on chat or phone that I'm am either not interested or gay or
something.. Since this has happened several times in the last two months I must
be the one out of step here.. but when the fuk did this ruling come into effect?
Why wasn't I notified? And, quite frankly, it usually takes me more then a
little bit of communication to deicide if I am interested in that person.. I
must be interested in the somewhat but the way my psyche works I have to give a
fuk about a person to want to fuk them. :P
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Lately (the last
couple of years) I've become aware of a horrible character flaw I have. Let me
explain how I discovered it and why it is a flaw.
A friend of mine was
talking me stories of their childhood. Then we got to "and when I was 15 years
old my dad took me to a strip club so I could dance for some money and free
drinks." I laughed and said "how much money did you make?" (not much) "you can't
dance for shit that's why."
Ok.. the friend was
a guy. I had no sympathy for him at all.
Later I was thinking
about it.. what if I woman was telling me that story. I would probably make some
sympatric statements "oh I can't believe your father did that!" "He is an
asshole." etc. Though.. in the back of my mind I would be thinking .. hmm that
is kind of hot though.
BLAH! So there it
is.. No sympathy for men, sympathy for women (but with a little voice in my head
going 'nice!')
Luckily no one reads
this thing so my secret is safe :D
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Ah but I decided screw that.. and bought a new computer.. and then spent a couple of days getting all my programs, important messages, video junk, porn, etc. transfered over to it.. BTW LightScribe is the biggest piece of crap ever. I takes me about 5 mins to burn and verify a 4.7gig DVD.. and then it takes about 24mins for LightScribe to do a blurry label?? All I can say is I am so glad I didnt even notice the DVD burner had that feature when I bought the computer.. damm crappy technology!
Ah Sharpie marker I love you.
Funniest thing I over heard today was.. some woman talking to her daughter on the phone and says "now you know you can't ask mommy about things when she's drunk."
Planned Parenthood for da win!
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Last week my computer died.. after a lot of testing I believe it to be
the motherboard that is bad. So in goes a new motherboard and
processer. But Freaking WinXP refuses to do a repair install (which is
what I want, cause I dont want to lose all my data, installed programs
and junk). FINALLY I break down and call Microsoft for help with the
install.. they bounce my call to india (or somewhere) where someone
tries to help me for the next two hours.. "Now type assperkey.." "what?
what letter is that?" "look the 8 key the shifted charratoor" "the
asterisk?" "yes assperkey.".......
Anyway, getting a new copy of
winXP from MS, seems mine is damaged (somehow). No scratches or
anything but half the CD is unreadable. BLAH!
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I wrote this about two weeks ago on my other blog:
The wierdness that seems to surround my life never stays away for long.
My long time phone stalker put in a call the other night. We spend
about 8 mins catching up and then about 40mins dealing with her odd
fetish. I'm not sure if I could deal with an odor fetish in real life
as I feel like I'm covered in grit without a shower every day, but
whatever.. it's fun on the phone. Being waken in the middle of the
night for it however..
A friend send me a link to one of the funniest SNL things I've seen in a while, so go check it http://www.yikers.com/video_cork_soaking_snl_skit.html
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This was a funny thing that happened yesterday.. I was standing around on post in uniform and this older gent comes over to and starts talking. It turns out he was a big fan of the Doors, Hendrix, and some others.. In fact he was at the club, Whiskey A Go-Go (?) that those guys started out at. So we are talking about music and stuff.. somehow we start talking about LSD.. and how he wound up giving up drugs forever. It seems he and his friends are at the Whiskey A Go-Go and someone starts handing out panes (little squares you put on your tongue) of LSD. He and his friends take them.. keep drinking. He blacks out..
When he 'wakes up' or can focus again.. he is on his knees in the men's room.. giving a blow job to a huge black biker dude. His friends are behind him screaming at him.. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?" He tries to take the cock out of his mouth (oh it was a huge cock by the way.. I asked) but the biker puts his hand on his head and holds him there "no no little guy.. you have to finish this".
So he did. He had to leave LA after that.. and his friends abandoned him.
I was, of course, kind of shocked by this story. So I just stared at him and then said "uh.. that pretty bad dude. wow." He nodded his head and then wandered away. I wish I had asked him.. 'when that guy made you suck his cock.. did you cry?' cause I think he did.. have to remember to ask him if I see him again. |
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GRRRR If a stupid band sends you an email to tell you they are going to be at a club and ask you to "go to support the band", you would think they would send you another email if they decide to cancel... you would f*cking think that right?? You would think that you would find out about about it before dragging a bunch of friends through Manhattan traffic and searching for a parking spot. Then finding this tiny hole in the wall club they are playing at.. only to be told they canceled. Luckily I didn't order a drink or pay the cover, cause than I really would have been p*ssed off..OH WAIT! I AM REALLY P*SSED OFF! Did I mention that it took another hour and change to drive back home? The band in question is Hungry Lucy. I checked their mysp*ce page when I got home.. oh look.. the show was canceled.. why no email? MAYBE I don't check your damm page every day or week or month!.. sigh.. and thanks for making me look like a jerk in front of my friends! |
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Did you know people lie alot when they don't even have to? they do it because they want to please others..AND IT STINKS!!
I was having dinner with a friend the other day and we started taking about meeting people from online. After a bit of talking it was discovered that most of the women I've met from online started the meeting with one or more mistruths or lies in place. Specifically, their interest in things BDSM. It usually starts with "oh yes 'blah' is so great, makes me hot even talking about it", then goes to "well I don't have a lot of experience with 'blah' but it turns me on so much", to "ok I've never actually done 'blah' but I fantasize about it all the time". Sometimes it even goes to "well I really don't even like 'blah' but I wanted to talk to you". Lets not even talk about "I'm single" to "I'm in an open marriage.." to "OMG It's my husband!".
Ok.. the problem with this is, that person is lying from the start, so things can only get worse.. since at some point this will come out. And then I will just be ready to end that date or friendship cause I hate liars. The only lies that are acceptable are to those that protect someone from immediate physical danger ("No Mr.. pychokiller, she left hours ago.. haven't seen her."). Horrible truths are better then nice lies. A child can heal from his pet being run over, but will be looking for years for a pet that 'ran away'.
In the quid pro quo (look it up, I did to see the proper spelling) of a relationship it's important to start on the right foot.
And now a joke...
A vampire bat came flapping in from the night covered in fresh blood and parked himself on the roof of the cave to get some sleep.
Pretty soon all the other bats smelled the blood and began hassling him about where he got it. He told them to go away and let him get some sleep but they persisted until finally he gave in."OK, follow me" he said and flew out of the cave with hundreds of bats behind him.
Down through the valley they went, across a river and into a forest full of trees. Finally he slowed down and all the other bats excitedly milled around him."Now, do you see that tree over there?" he asked. "Yes, Yes, Yes!" the bats all screamed in a frenzy.
"Good" said the bat, "Because I sure as hell didn't!" |
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I had posted this on another blog but thought this one could use it as well:
Ok.. I am now over 100% certain that I do not have psionic powers. At least nothing that causes people pain or makes their heads explode in a gory mess. I know this because OMFG if I could there would be about a hundred less drivers on the road. DO THEY NOT REALIZE I AM IN A BRAND NEW F**KING CAR!! DO NOT ALMOST CRASH INTO ME!! If you do, make certain I can not crawl out of my wrecked car and bite your fucking throat out! Why can't these a**holes learn to drive or stay the fuck home!! Why don't they use signals.. is this stupid f**k really driving across the country to THE LEFT!! AND why, oh why, do they almost cause multi car accidents racing to the tolls when THEY DO NOT HAVE F**KING EASY PASS!!! ARRRRRGRGHRHRHRHRHHHHHH!!!!
ok.. it's over now. I'm back.. so like I was saying no psionics for me.. sigh.. |
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I've developed an unhealthy addiction to reading Craig's List. I can't help it.. it's like watching Jerry Stringer. Do any of those guys think a picture of their cock (or several pictures) will help then find a woman? Do they think that some girl will open the ad up and think "OMG! he has a cock!! I must go out with him!!" I really don't see what their problem is, most of them are at least average looking. They are only looking for sex.. not "can I blindfold, tie you up and use this leather flogger on you before teasing several orgasms out of you" (which tends to be harder to get strangers to agree to in my experience). Maybe the problem they have is no personality or conversation ability. But whatever, I can't help reading them.. and laughing  |
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Ah start of a two week vacation and a new car.. does life get any better? yeah I'm sure it does, but this works for the moment :) |
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Sure is hard to find anyone that reads anymore, except for those new 'Urban Contemporary' novels which read like books I use to buy from elementary school book clubs (with more sex and violence). Those aren't novels, they are expanded short stories!
Ozzfest was fun, though Randall's Island is horrible, no running water and chemical toilets. Talladgea Nights: The Ballands of Ricky Bobby was very funny. |
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Was at paddles over the weekend, first time in 5 years, and it still is boring. Clerks2 was pretty good, juvenile but funny as hell. Ozfest coming this weekend! |
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Just saw Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest.. I had seen Superman Returns four days ago.. Why are all the block busters so weak on plot? Doesn't anyone not working on the god damm movie see if before the final editing and release?? sigh.. Thats all I got. |
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hmm been a while since I've been in here. Lets see.. diet, gym and lots of walking is working.. not as fast as I'd like.. but noticable. I had to break up with someone that would have been perfect if she wasn't so vanilla. Ghosts from the past continue to haunt. |
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blah.. real life can be brutal at times :) its funny how people from your past can show up at the worse possible time. Or is it just them reappearing that makes it bad? |
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hello to whoever is reading this.. friendly bunch of people on this site. Had some interesting conversations/email already. Let me (or Me if you prefer) say that I believe respect can be given or earned but not demanded. And how 'real' a Dom or sub is not based on grammer...:) some of you will understand. |
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