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The Largest BDSM Community on the Planet

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Pan Female Switch, 48,  Manchester Area, United Kingdom
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Friends:
natashacddryfsysRichard6ft6inFetishGuy0sensuality2filth
redoctober9BluemonkT5TartObeyanceSophiaHayes
ShadelingJasehopingJamesCoventryTogTallguy66

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Vanilla with lots of Chocolate sprinkles....

I'm a woman with two sides to my personality; a switch who is very Domme the majority of the time, but for the right person can be very submissive.

For those who don't know I've decided to briefly explain what I mean by Chocolate and Vanilla.

Vanilla sex is what most people have, just straight forward oral and intercourse. Where it begins to get interesting is when you add a few chocolate sprinkles.

Chocolate sex begins with sprinkles such as light bondage, (many people have tied their partners wrists to the bed and yet wouldn't consider themselves kinky) and goes right through to scenes of BDSM.

Now there's no way anyone is putting me in a gimp mask and locking me in a box only to be taken out and abused before being locked away again, that's definitely not my thing. However I do like to taste all the flavours, which is why my diary is described as Vanilla with Chocolate Sprinkles.

Life is too short not to experiment with pleasures between consenting adults that don't cause harm and yet provides fulfilment to those sharing the experience.

Ok never thought I'd feel the need to say this but, the only animals I serve sexually have two legs, and no, chopping the front legs off your German Shepherd does not qualify them, get the picture?




"The most powerful sexual organ in the body is our brain, open your mind and allow your fantasies free reign. Mutual pleasure between consenting adults is a wonderful thing."
Daneswood




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 DanesWood

 Female Switch

 Manchester Area 

 United Kingdom

 5' 3"

 48

 Pan

 Caucasian

 08/01/07

 09/26/18

Actively Seeking:

Dominant Male

Friends Only

 Lives For:

 Writing

 Loves:

 Anal Play (Expert)

 Bondage

 Canes and Crops

 Collars

 Electrical Play

 Genital Punishment

 Local BDSM Community

 Masks (On Partner)

 Massage (Getting)

 Munches

 Sensory Deprivation

 Spanking

 Vibrators (Expert)

 Board Games

 Science Fiction

 Web Surfing

 Blogging

 Intellectual Discourse

 Paranormal

 Lifestyle BDSM

 Alternative Music

 Eighties Music

 Nineties Music

 Oldies

 Pop Music

 R&B

 Seventies Music

 Likes:

 Coffee Shops

 Movies

 Begging

 Blindfolds

 Breast Play

 Chastity

 Corsets

 Enemas (Beginner)

 Gags

 Gas Masks

 Hair Pulling

 Knife Play

 Massage (Giving)

 Medical Play (Beginner)

 Obedience Training

 Objectification

 Orgasm Denial

 Outdoor Bondage

 Plastic Wrap

 Rubber Fetish

 Wax play (Beginner)

 Whips (Beginner)

 Card Games

 Comedy Shows

 Historical Shows

 Online Chatrooms

 Puzzle Games

 Romance Novels

 Cooking

 Singing

 History

 Americana

 Blues

 Country Music

 Folk Music

 Hip Hop Music

 New Wave

 Opera Music

 Punk Rock Music

 Rock Music

 Show Tunes

 Auto Racing

 Soccer

 Curious About:

 Dilation

 Fire Play

 Hypnosis

 Needle Play

 Shibari

 Occultism

 Dislikes:

 Tickling

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Journal Entries:
3/16/2012 6:51:31 AM

Three's Company

 Lovingly he caressed her hair and kissed her mouth with a gentleness that stole her breath.

His hands stroked her breasts with a featherlike touch making her ache for more.

For what seemed an eternity he stroked and kissed her everywhere except the place that screamed out most for attention. She quivered and quaked, her moans and whimpers betraying her arousal.

The door opened and in came another man, he was naked and obviously aroused, his cock stood out before him jiggling slightly as he walked. She knew him well and was not concerned at his presence, they’d discussed this scenario many times and he knew how excited the fantasy made her, now was time to test the reality.

His hand gripped a large handful of hair at the back of her head, her face kept turned towards his at all times, ensuring he was her focal point.

Her breath came in short gasps, her juices flowed freely from her pussy and down the crack of her arse to soak the sheet beneath her.

The newcomer lay beside her on the bed and stroked her gently too, he took great care not to cause her any alarm, to take as long as she needed for this to happen. His mouth closed around her nipple gently licking and sucking until it was rock hard and then her man did the same.

Now two mouths suckled her nipples, two hands stroked her body all over, yet neither touched between her thighs. Eventually frustration got the better of her as he knew it would and unable to help herself she begged them both to rub her clit, to make her cum and fuck her.

Her lover lifted his head and looked at her carefully.

“Are you sure that’s what you want?” his question told her this could stop right now, if she had changed her mind, but she hadn’t.

“Oh fuck yes” she whispered.

Her lover looked at their friend and nodded, this gave him the permission needed to move between her legs and for the first time he sank two fingers deep inside her. She was so wet there was a squelching sound as he slowly finger fucked her, fingers from his other hand rubbed her clit.

Her eyes remained locked on to the face of her lover, she submitted to the sensations their friend gave her, but he was a tool for their use at this moment.

Even when she screamed through her first orgasm her eyes never left her lovers for a moment. His passionate kiss told her how turned on he was and how much he was enjoying this too.

Her legs were lifted and a cock thrust deep into her pussy, she moaned with pleasure at the sensation. Her lover slid his hand down so he could feel the cock being thrust in and out of her, scooped up her juices and pushed his fingers into her mouth to suck them clean.

When she’d sucked every drop of herself from his fingers his hand reached down again to her pussy but this time his fingers homed in on her clit and began to rub it rhythmically. Orgasm number two arrived seconds later and she screamed and screamed as their friend pumped her full of his cum.

She’d not stopped shaking before the friend pushed his face into her pussy and began to lick and slurp her soaking wet pussy, lapping up every drop of moisture he could be it hers or his. Within no time at all she came again her spasms pushing her juices out of her pussy and all over their friends face, causing him to splutter a little as some went up his nose.

Her lover held her tightly, told her how much he loved her, how sexy she was and he couldn’t wait to fuck her too.

Their friend collapsed in a sweaty spent heap at her side grinning happily, she smiled hazily at him, her eyes glazed. His arms wrapped around her to cuddle tight as her lover changed positions.

He spread her legs wide and began to rub her clit whilst pinching her left nipple quite hard with his other hand. Her attention shot back to her lover, the friend beside her practically forgotten again.

Two fingers inside her pussy he found and rubbed her G-spot quite hard, the fingers of his other hand rubbed her clit. By now she was nothing but a receptacle of sensation, incapable of rational thought.

A mouth and fingers teased her nipples, she screamed and sobbed as yet another orgasm ripped through her, before it was finished her lovers hard cock pushed inside her and he fucked her hard causing her to scream and spasm as unbelievably she came again.

Her lover continued to fuck her until the spasms subsided and then began to rub her clit as he fucked her. She whimpered and begged until he made her cum once more and then pounded hard until he filled her with his cum.

Barely conscious she curled up on her side as he held her hard against him, their friend cuddled her from behind to reassure her she was safe and cared for as she drifted off happily into an exhausted sleep.


12/14/2011 1:59:55 PM

This is a true story and the slave involved in also a collarme user.

 

Please read the full story, including the links and spread the word to protect your friends.

 

Last Christmas

 

Thinking of buying a pet this Christmas? Think again. Some pets can ruin your life and not just your Christmas.

Last Christmas a domme was tempted by a kitten advertised for sale on Informed Consent. He seemed harmless enough, brimful of cute, cupcake sweet, big-eyed and vulnerable, what could go wrong?

She took him into her home, she introduced him to her friends, and she even took him to a club.

Wherever she took him this not so cute kitten left a trail of destruction, and no amount of training could rid him of his fucked-up personality disorder. Reluctantly the domme decided that this was one pet that needed to be rehomed.

Last Christmas she gave him her heart, but the very next day he gave it away - and later had her charged with assault, sent her employer some interesting photos and tried to sell the story to Max Clifford.

This year to save yourself tears. Give your heart to someone special. Or a least someone who won't consult personal injury lawyers.

It would be a very unusual person that could cope with the kind of responsibility that comes with owning this particular chaotic kitten.

However if the thought still has you hushed with excitement, remember these three rules:

1. Never give it alcohol
2. Never take it to a club
3. And don't take any photographs. Ever.


(ps - if you have ever wondered how Max Clifford operates, http://www.maltracker.com/jasontarrant.html

 (click the link as you may be pleasantly surprised)

 

(pps - & http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/posts/198432/0/#1843303   this

IC post is also worth bearing in mind)


7/20/2011 5:43:58 PM

 

Chocolate v Vanilla

Travelling back from a few days away, I stopped off to meet a guy who works for the same company, just for a drink as I was passing through his area.

We talked and laughed and several times he told me he was looking for a girlfriend. I was careful not to give him any encouragement as he just wasn't my type. I could tell :)

Eventually we got around to discussing D/s, he'd poked and prodded me enough that I decided to tell him about my lifestyle. Or at least a very diluted and brief taste of it.

"Imagine" I said, "that you have a woman restrained on the bed so that you can give her pleasure any way you choose. For as long as you choose. She can't stop you and she can't move away."

The look of absolute horror on his face, followed swiftly by one of bewilderment and I realised he probably wouldn't know what to do to a woman in that position.

"ohh no" he replied, slowly shaking is head. "I'm strictly a missionary position man me".

If nothing else at least it confirms for me I could never go back to nilla.


7/10/2011 2:56:40 PM

The Mushroom Man

 

I'm often asked to tell this story from my past, so I thought I'd post it here for all to read.

Once upon a time when I was a naïve and innocent (stop laughing you lot) 19 year old and started dating a guy I'd known through work for a couple of years .Russell was 6'4” and broad shouldered, a big guy but not fat, nor the body builder type.

After dating for a few weeks be borrowed his mate's bedsit for us to have some private time.

I pulled up outside the address, a large house in its own grounds converted into several flats. Russell was already there waiting on the gravel car park in his own car. He came over to greet me and together we crunched our way over to the house.

We walked through the main door into the hall and the door we wanted was there on the right, a ground floor flat with a huge bay window and an original four poster bed on the wall beside the door.

Once inside and the door closed behind us, we embraced and kissed passionately, removing each others clothing at a rapid pace. When we were both naked I took a step back and my eyes drifted slowly down from his face, across his broad, smooth chest and stomach to the part below.

Now Russell was only the 2nd or 3rd lover I'd had, but I'd seen lots of photos of naked men and knew roughly what the average cock looked like. This was not one of them.

My jaw hit the floor as I looked.

“Is that it??” I blurted out.

There nestled amongst the pubic hair covering his testicles, was a nub of a penis (notice I'm no longer referring to it as a cock). It was rock hard and approximately 1.5 inches long.

The overall image was of a mushroom lying on its side, the small stalk pointing towards me.

He grinned and assured me he made up for it in other ways. I can honestly report, he did not.

Kissing me once more we moved over to the bed turning the main light off before we lay down.

He moved on top of me, lay between my legs and thrust towards me. My legs lifted to draw him closer to me.

As we kissed and touched and rubbed our naked bodies together there was a noise and the door opened, in walked the guy the flat belonged to.

In 2 short strides he stood beside the bed and looked down at me. Thankfully as Russell was on top of me there was very little naked flesh visible. So at least most of my blushes were spared by this unexpected intrusion.

Grabbing his crotch he asked if he could join in. Now I realise it was a set up and Russell had planned for his friend to join us all along, but I was so naïve back then it never crossed my mind.

I wasn't horrified. Should I have been? I don't know. I just remember looking at him and declining, pointing to the armchair over by the bay window.

“Go sit over there. You can watch but you're not to wank.”

See how innocent I was? :)

Russell and I carried on a little longer. I don't remember if he got to cum, I do know I didn't. He didn't fuck me either, he was just too small.

For the remaining time I was seeing Russell that set the pattern. We'd roll around naked on the bed and his friend would sit across the room and watch.

Well I didn't get to cum and a girl has to get her kicks somewhere


7/2/2011 4:37:09 AM

This is from my blog on IC, it was originally written in March 2009 and I thought I'd share the memory here as so many seem to be enjoying reading my current adventures.

 

A nice relaxing evening in front of the tv was looming, yet both of us felt the need for a little more, something to make the pulse race and our souls fly.

Slave slipped into his rubber catsuit, thick rubber gloves and socks, was instructed to gather some bondage equipment and inflatable rubber hood, then we climbed into the car and set off.

It took only 15 minutes or so to be out beyond the city and villages into the countryside, climbing higher and higher as we went. Now the roads were dark, tree lined, and just the occasional car passing us. We didn't think it would be too difficult to find a suitable place for our adventure.

We turned off the road and went down a winding narrow track to a car park at the bottom; it was pitch black and seemed perfect for what I had in mind. Bother! There was a car there, nobody in it, but even so it meant we couldn't play there. We'd have to look elsewhere.

Back up the narrow winding track to the road, turn left and drive slowly the few hundred yards to our second choice. Again there were cars parked up, couples inside them, their activities a little tamer than what we were planning, so again we left the parking area and took a narrow unmarked track down the side of the reservoir.

Half way down the track there was a board nailed to a tree advising the road was closed ahead, and led to a private area belonging to a company. I continued regardless, hoping that it would've put others off, and thus leave us undisturbed.

I reversed the 4 wheel drive into a gateway and opened my drivers door, the sound of the waterfall was music to my ears, a natural form of white noise.

Slave climbed out of his seat and opened the rear passenger door of the car, took out the rucksack and put on the leather ankle restraints, then handed me the leather fist mitts that would prevent him from even wriggling his fingers. The first was slipped on and buckled into place followed quickly by the second, it was a clear chilly night in early spring, and we knew he was going to get cold but I wanted to keep that to a minimum. Rubber offers no protection, if anything it exacerbates the cold making the wearer effectively naked.

Standing on tip toe I slipped the rubber hood over slaves head and wriggled the breathing tube into his mouth, then pulled the sides together at the back and slid the zip slowly down. I smoothed the rubber over his face and ran my nails gently over it, a murmur of pleasure from slave made me smile, how he was loving this.

A leather collar around his neck and buckled at the rear and slave was almost ready. I inserted the pipe from the pump onto the valve in the hood and pumped it until the rubber was nicely springy on the outside, pressing tightly around the face and head of slave on the inside. Now he couldn't speak and hearing my instructions would mean slave had to concentrate to block out the noise from the waterfall to focus on my voice, muffled by the hood.

I slipped heavy chain through the rings on collar, ankles and wrists, clipping them together so slaves arms were behind his back and shackled with a short length of chain that ran between the ankles and back up to the chain at the wrists. Hobbled in this way slave could now only take very small steps and considering we'd be walking over rough ground, they'd have to be careful ones too, made even more difficult for slave as he wore knee length boots with 3 inch heels.

A length of rope around his neck that I used as a leash, I took out my car keys that have a very small but powerful light on the keyring. With the car door closed it was extremely dark, the only sound the rushing of the water a few yards away, a perfect setting.

I spotted a tree that looked perfect, but the ground leading to it was a quagmire, so changed direction and led slave to a tree on a slight incline where the ground was a little firmer. The only problem was the trees around it were much closer than my original choice and there were a few sharp broken branches illuminated by my torch. I couldn't tether him loosely to a tree and let him wander around with a few feet of loose rope, slave might injure himself or tear the rubber.

Another change of plan, I decided to tie slave tightly to the tree, his back pressed against the hard bark covering the trunk, the rope wound round and round, like you'd see in films of the Wild West, when Indians tied their prisoners to poles stuck into the ground.

I checked the rope, satisfied myself that slave couldn't escape, at least not easily, then stood in front of him, running my nails over his nipples and face through the rubber, teasing him gently, reminded him softly that anyone could find him there, abandoned and helpless, a rubber toy to be used.

Needing to know how excited slave was I felt his crotch, slaves cock was hard, his body jerked as I touched him through the rubber and my Imp decided to add an extra element to slaves predicament.

I smiled in the darkness with a mixture of sadism and mischief, unzipped slaves catsuit and pulled his cock out into the cool night air. As I stroked the hard, silky flesh I reminded slave how vulnerable he would be without me there. That anyone who came would be able to see slave, use him as they pleased, just a rubber toy.

I knew that because of the cold, slaves' cock would shrink and be hidden from casual view by the rubber codpiece of the catsuit, but would his scrambled brain realise that? With the rushing sound of the waterfall, the darkness and cold, slaves mind would soon start to play tricks on him.

A few short steps back to the car for me was easy, aided by my small light, I climbed in and started the engine.

Driving up the hill to the place I had spotted on the way down took only seconds, I pulled over as far as I could just in case, by some remote possibility, someone decided to drive down the track, without lights on the car might not be visible in time for someone to stop.

The time on the clock showed 9.58pm, 15 minutes should be plenty of time for slave to be disorientated and confused. In summer it would be less of an issue, I'd perhaps even leave the car parked and walk down to retrieve my property, but I knew how quickly the cold would affect slaves body and I didn't want him to suffer from hypothermia.

I sent text messages to a couple of friends, sharing with them what I'd done, one thought it fabulous, the other couldn't believe I'd been so cruel, but how can it be cruel to give someone you love an experience that has been fantasy for years?

15 minutes passed swiftly, I started the car and rolled it backwards down the hill. I wanted as little noise as possible, in the hope that slave wouldn't be aware I'd returned until I touched him. The waterfall working in my favour by masking the sound the engine made ticking over, enough to operate the lights, power steering and brakes; I didn't need to put it into gear.

I left the car door open; once slave was released I wanted him inside the car quickly, it was important to get him out of the cold.

Slave jumped when I placed my hands on his chest, the soft ground meant he'd not heard me walk towards him. I ran my fingernails over his nipples, groped his crotch and then felt around for the loose end of rope. I could tell slave had been testing his bonds as the ropes had slipped much lower, but as planned he'd been unable to escape.

The rope restraint released, I stood in front of slave and instructed him to follow me. Small steps, a little to the left, turn half right, a small slope downwards, 2 more steps and you're on concrete. Shuffle across the hard ground, 2 steps left, turn half right then 2 steps forward, the sound of my voice led slave back to the car.

Quickly I undid the buckles on the ankle restraints, collar and fist mitts; as I pulled the chain back through the rings slave unzipped the hood and pulled it off, his whole body shaking with cold. Slave slipped onto the leather seat of the car and as I started the engine told me his head was mashed.

The combination of heated seat and warm air blowing out from the vents began to do their work, and as I drove back up the track slave asked me how long I'd left him alone for, as it had felt like hours.

“15 minutes, that's all” I replied.

Slave couldn't believe it, the time had spun out, everything became a haze to his senses, the white noise created by the waterfall, the bondage and rubber had all contributed to his wonderful experience.


6/14/2011 6:52:35 PM

A Rookie Domme

 

I’m bored and not ready to sleep yet so thought I’d write about my first experience as a Domme.

 

If I can be bothered some time I’ll write about my first experience as a sub, which is quite funny in places and yet it was a big step on my journey.

 

I met Sammie in a chatroom, I wasn’t looking for a sub at all, let alone a girl, but I was flattered by her attention and she gave it in spades.

 

Can you imagine me, a 40 something whose only experience of the lifestyle had been as a sub (in real terms at least), being pursued by an attractive 21 year old girl? I’d spent hours talking to those who were involved in some form of BDSM or another for years, well before I’d met my first Dom, but that’s not the same as doing.

 

We flirted in the chatroom, we progressed to msn and over the weeks I got to know more about her. She was 21 and a virgin who’d never had an orgasm, was scared of men because of some bad experiences and very, very submissive.

 

I talked to her to try and discover if she knew what she was asking for, satisfied that she did I arranged to visit her for a weekend. In the time leading up to my visit she earned herself a punishment and that was to be carried out on my first night there to get it out of the way.

 

She opened the door and let me, this red haired girl with huge eyes and incredible level of shyness. We hugged and sat down to talk and have a drink, time for her to relax a little and for me to get my head around the fact that I was this girls new Domme.

 

I’d informed Sammie of her punishment some days before, she knew that she was going to be beaten and that it would take place on webcam with a Dom I knew as witness. I never told her who was watching, in fact it was someone she knew too. I’d also told her that he would choose some of the punishment she was to receive.

 

I sent her to fetch a chair from the kitchen, set up the webcam connection, blindfolded her and bent her over the chair exposing her totally to the Dom watching. She was spared nothing that night, I started the way I meant to continue, doing what I wanted, when I wanted.

 

She was spanked until her bottom reddened nicely and then received several lashes of the stingy leather flogger I had. I didn’t care how much she squirmed, if she couldn’t take the punishment then she’d take care to behave better in future.

 

Lovely raised red welts crisscrossed her bottom and satisfied with my progress I bent her over further and pushed a lubed vibrating butt plug inside her. Her arse was tight as a drum, but it slid in slowly and I ignored her protests as it went past the thickest part. I was right too because once inside properly and buzzing away the slut was loving it.

 

Still blindfold I had her sit on the chair facing the webcam and legs spread wide. Now I flogged her breasts and as her wrists were cuffed behind her she couldn’t cover them up to stop me.

 

Her whimpering had to stop though, I didn’t want the neighbours to hear and come knocking, so I pushed a ball gag into her mouth and fastened it around the back of her head.

 

Next out came the clover clamps. She had fabulous breasts and pale pink nipples, so pert and begging to be abused by me.

 

I clamped each nipple in turn, a muffled grunt as the clamp closed on the nipple and pinched tightly. I smiled and tugged on the chain connecting them.

 

The Dom watching pinged me and asked me to put the chain into her mouth, so I removed the ballgag and instructed her to hold the chain of the nipple clamps in her mouth until instructed to let it go.

 

I love the predicament this creates, because now every wince she makes means she tugs on the chain and because she’s made to keep her head up straight the chain is pulled taut the whole time anyway.

 

I think it was about now I realised how much enjoyment I could get from giving pain, despite this being a punishment.

 

Next I decided her pussy should be spanked, so legs spread wide my hand whooshed down and landed with a stinging blow on her shaved pussy. Being so slim and with very small tight labia every slap hit home and she was jerking around on the edge of the chair, yanking on the chain with every jerk.

 

Having decided her punishment was now over I ended the webcam link and whispered in her ear that she’d done well in accepting her punishment  and as this was her first time I thought I’d reward her with some pleasure.

 

This is the only time I’ve followed a punishment with play, as I was a rookie I thought it would be a good idea to be nice to her after she suffered. I’d not make the same mistake again.

 

Placing her buzzing vibrator against her pussy and as close to her clit as possible, I stood in front of her and slapped her breasts around, kept jiggling the vibrator and running the tips of my fingers over her squashed nipples.

 

Her body jerked around unexpectedly and I suspected she’d had an orgasm, so eager to find out I removed the chain from her mouth and the vibrator from her pussy.

 

“Did you just cum?” I asked.

 

“I don’t know” she replied.

 

As something had obviously happened and I didn’t really know what to do next, so I removed the clamps and cuffs then cuddled up with her on the couch, questioning her about the sensations she’d experienced. The evidence was non conclusive as she’d no point of reference.

 

After that night it was easy to make her cum, a combination of bondage and pain got her so deep into the headspace she’d orgasm multiple times and squirt with every one the little slut. I have to say she was a complete orgasm whore by the time we broke up 18 months later.

 

I certainly made my mistakes in my time as her Domme, but I learned a lot too and definitely grew from the experience.

 

We still speak almost every day, but I’d not take her back as she needs something I can’t give her, or perhaps I’m just not prepared to.

 

There are certainly lots of positives. She’s now over her fear of men in a sexual way, partly helped by me. But she seems spoiled in respect to orgasms as apparently she’s not been able to cum with anyone else. Perhaps I should write them up a list of instructions……..nah maybe not.


3/10/2011 1:02:50 PM

Due South – The Swan

 

Chapter One - The Arrival

 

After the wonderful time they’d had together at The Mulberry she was incredibly excited as she parked her car outside The Swan and picked up her case from the boot. She crossed the road dragging the small pilots case behind her on its wheels, headed for the door and pushed it open.

 

She walked into the hotel; he followed her through the door. What perfect timing to arrive together.

 

After signing the register they were shown to their room on the first floor. This was a small boutique hotel with just 11 very pretty rooms in a rural part of the south.

 

A large bed took up most of the room. Crisp white, Egyptian cotton sheets made a stark contrast to the light brown carpet and walls.

 

She barely paid attention to the hotelier explaining where everything was, about restaurant service times and arrangements for breakfast. The bed loomed large.

 

It felt like an age before the hotelier left them alone, yet in reality it could only have been 2 or 3 minutes.

 

As the door closed he walked over to the large window that overlooked the road through the centre of the village and closed the blind. Now she truly felt they’d left the real world behind and they’d entered a cocoon containing just the 2 of them.

 

“Please may I go to the loo? I need to pee.”

 

Automatically she’d already begun walking towards the bathroom when his curt “No” stayed her footsteps.  “You can wait until I say you can go.”

 

He sat in the large armchair beside the desk and gestured for her to sit on the floor beside him.

 

Sinking down onto the thick carpet she rested her head on his thigh and sighed happily, this was where she belonged, at his feet.

 

His hand stroked her hair as she sat there, eyes closed. All the stresses and strains of the last few weeks had taken their toll, she needed this desperately.

 

A swift stinging slap across her cheek with his left hand shocked her totally. Tears burst from her eyes as though from the wall of a breached dam and great heaving sobs rocked her body.

 

She held onto his thigh as though her very life depended on it, as all the emotions she’d kept locked away these last few weeks were released. The recent expected death of an uncle. The sudden and very shocking death of a dear friend. All kept very tightly under control, until now, and his gift of release for her.

 

His fingers stroked and massaged her neck and shoulders, his touch reassuring her he was there, giving her the time she needed to vent. He waited patiently, his calm soothing voice washed over her, although she couldn’t take in the words.

 

Eventually the sobbing eased and she looked up at him with tear filled eyes. He lowered his head and kissed her gently on the forehead, the tip of her button nose and lastly her mouth.

 

Just like when you’re a child and your mother kisses better a bruise or a scratch, his kiss helped ease the pain she felt inside.

 

She adored this man. He cared for her, nurtured her, took time to learn about and understand her. She knew she wasn’t the easiest of people to get to know, but he constantly reassured her she was worth the effort, and as long as he felt that, she was happy.

 

“Now you can pee.” He rose to his feet and offered her his hand. Awkwardly she stood and took his hand, then realisation hit; he was taking her into the bathroom. This meant 1 of 2 things. Either he intended to watch her pee as she sat on the toilet, knowing full well how uncomfortable it made her, or he was going to have her stand in the bath so he could watch at close quarters.

 

She’d known as soon as she mentioned it a few weeks before, it was a barrier he fully intended to remove. Until fairly recently she’d not even been able to pee if she knew someone outside the door could hear, never mind pee in the physical presence of someone.

 

He laughed at the horrified look on her face as he walked her into the bathroom and instructed her to climb naked into the bath and face him.

 

His fingers slipped between her pussy lips and began teasing her clit. She was soaking wet, well deserving of the slut he often affectionately called her.

 

“Now pee. You’re not leaving till you do.”

 

She stood there, embarrassed, no mortified, at what was required of her. She really didn’t think she could do this. She’d told him she’d deny him nothing, but she worried her body would let her down, and thus let him down.

 

Slowly, rhythmically, he massaged her clit, fingered her pussy, all the while looking into her eyes, telling her how much he wanted her to pee for him.

 

She concentrated, looked into his eyes, willed her body to relax and let go, to do this for him. The minutes ticked by, her body refused to obey.

 

Just as frustration threatened to overwhelm her, the unthinkable happened. A small trickle of pee crept out and began to run over his fingers and drip into the bath.

 

Grabbing her by the back of her head he pulled her mouth to his and kissed her passionately, murmuring words of encouragement every time his lips lifted from hers.

 

The trickle of pee turned into a full blown stream and she emptied her bladder over his hand as he rubbed her clit and told her how proud he was she’d overcome this barrier for him.

 

He turned on the shower, rinsed her off, bent her over and directed the spray of water into her anus and pussy. She wriggled around to make the most of the sensations of warm water gushing against her sensitive flesh.

 

“God I’m such a slut for this. I love the shower spray.”

 

He laughed and turned the water off, handed her a warm towel from the rail and stood back to watch her dry off.

 

Clean and dry she followed him into the bedroom and waited for instruction.

 

 

 

Chapter Two – Down Down

 

He took the leather blindfold from the small bag of toys she’d brought along and slipped it over head as she stood there.

 

“Does this work? Or can you see?” He fiddled with the blindfold, making sure it covered her eyes as much as possible. She’d closed her eyes anyway, and to aid the effect of the blindfold for him, she would keep them closed.

 

“Lay down on the bed.”

Sitting on the edge of the high divan, she swung her legs up and lay down. Her head sunk into the luxurious pillow and her body was nicely supported by the wonderfully sprung mattress. They’d not pulled the duvet back, so she lay there on top of the feather and down filled quilt too.

 

There was a moment of panic that she may stain it with her juices, but that was gone the instant she felt the pinch of a clamp on her sensitive right nipple. A ragged indrawn breath at the tightness of it, then the pain settled and other sensations took over.

 

His fingers invaded her pussy, exploring her, revelling in her obvious arousal. There was never any need to ask if she enjoyed what they did, her pussy betrayed her every time.

 

He stood beside the bed, right hand teasing her clit, left hand easing fingers inside her. Incredibly relaxed, her pussy allowed one and then two fingers inside her. He gently explored inside her, taking his time to ensure she was totally at ease before he added a third finger.

 

Slowly in and out with his fingers, her soft flesh stretched to accommodate the extra finger. In the blackness behind her eyelids and blindfold, her mind was a whirl of sensation.

 

He was everywhere, in her mind, enveloping her, inside her. There was no hiding from him, he was there even in the deepest parts of her, but then again, she never wanted to. It was at times such as this she felt like nothing more than an extension of him, of his desire and will.

 

The fourth finger slipped in shocking her from her reverie. Although she was beyond soaking wet, her tight pussy was struggling to relax and accept. This was enduring, not pleasure.

 

Immediately he saw the change in her, gradually withdrew his hand and stopped rubbing her clit.

 

Her pussy lips were swollen, engorged with her arousal. Her breathing was ragged as she gasped for air.

 

Fire shot through her nipple as he removed the clamp, his lips wrapped around the tortured nub to kiss away the pain for her. The combination of pain and pleasure sent yet more urgent signals directly to her pussy and another large ooze of juices trickled down beneath her,

 

The dimmed light of the room was still startlingly bright to her eyes as the blindfold was removed. He stood beside the bed smiling down at her before bending to kiss her on the mouth.

 

He held her to him tightly as she calmed, expressing his pride and pleasure in her because she’d opened to him and accepted his four fingers. Eventually she knew he planned to fist her, this was another step on the way. His patience in building trust was paying off, no one else had ever achieved so much.

 

 

 

Chapter Three – Take Me, I’m Yours

 

“Kneel on the end of the bed.” Happily she complied, positioning herself to give him complete access to her ass and pussy.

 

Naked he stood behind her, he rubbed the shaft of his long, thick cock along her soaking pussy. Thoroughly lubricated in her juices he pressed the head of his cock to her anus and eased himself inside. In one smooth movement he was deep inside her ass.

 

He pounded her relentlessly, she growled animalistically. The greater her arousal, the harder he thrust himself, the deeper he sank.

 

She heard his voice, but the words passed her by, she was deep now into the place he took her. Needing to communicate her feelings she turned her head and begged him to take what was his. And take he did.

 

Several extra hard, fast thrusts signalled his orgasm, his cum spurted into her ass. He pulled his cock out and she smiled to herself, happy that he’d taken his pleasure in her. She didn’t move, she remained in place awaiting his instruction. Her ass felt used, tender, but in a very good way, he’d ridden her hard.

 

 He’d not moved from her rear, she heard a rustle as he picked something up, then her butt plug was inserted firmly into her ass.

 

“That stays there till I return in the morning.” He walked into the bathroom to shower as she knelt there shocked at his words. A prior engagement meant he could not spend the night with her, indeed he’d not be returning until mid morning.

 

Already her ass was beginning to spasm; this was going to be the most difficult thing he’d asked of her so far.

 

After a quick shower he returned to the bedroom, towelling dry his body.

 

“But what if I need the toilet?” she asked in a panic stricken voice.

“The idea,” he informed her. “Is that what’s in there, stays in there, until tomorrow. If you do take it out I expect you to tell me. There will be consequences.”

 

Late for his appointment he dressed, kissed her goodbye and left.

 

She lay on the bed wondering what she should do, it was already 8.15 and the kitchen closed at 9. If she wanted dinner she’d have to hurry.

Cramps and small anal spasms held her in place. There was no way she could sit decorously surrounded by strangers and eat. His cum had the affect of an enema, she knew the plug would have to come out, and she’d need to take whatever punishment he saw fit.

 

Moving swiftly into the bathroom she removed the plug and hurriedly sat on the toilet. She felt sad she’d not managed to hold him inside her for longer.

 

The warm water from the shower cascaded over her body; tender areas were soothed by the gentle warmth. She’d not cum, so was still incredibly horny. It was his choice to reward her with an orgasm or not, either way she was happy that he enjoyed her.

 

Slipping into a skirt, bra and low cut black top she put on her shoes, grabbed her bag and room key and sauntered casually along the landing and down the stairs to dinner.

 

As the door closed behind her the waiter turned and smiled, “would you like dinner?” She nodded and he gestured to a corner table right beside the large, open log fire.

 

Orange flames licked around the shadows surrounding her, the low light of the inn comforting and seductive.

 

Picking up the menu she quickly eyed the selection, ordered a rib eye steak and a large Bombay Sapphire gin and tonic.

 

The G&T promptly arrived and she looked around at her fellow diners. There was a fair selection of interesting characters. The two couples at the table beside her discussing grandchildren and other friends. Younger people were scattered around amongst the tables, but the majority were well heeled older types.

 

“Another large gin please” she asked as the waiter walked by. The first had whetted her appetite and helped her feel more at ease with dining alone.

 

Both the gin and her meal both arrived together. She added a little more of the tonic from the bottle into the glass and then sliced into the steak, it was so tender it melted in her mouth. Every morsel on the plate tasted delicious and once empty she sat back on her seat and resumed her observations.

 

A man approached, bent to the pile of logs beside the fire and selected a couple to add to the red embers. She looked at the tattoos on his forearms; he was definitely different to the other customers.

 

“The boss is out tonight, taken his wife for a drink, so I’m looking after the fire.” His voice whilst local was less refined than the others, she smiled at him, not particularly wanting to enter into a conversation, yet she didn’t wish to appear rude either.

 

He returned to his place at the bar, and periodically he turned and looked at her, his expression one of curiosity. She wondered if he could have any clue what she’d spent several hours doing today. What hopefully, she’d be doing again tomorrow. Just for a moment she was tempted to go over to him and whisper in his ear, tell him what a wanton and depraved whore she was for the right man. But that man was not him.

 

Several gin and tonics later she stood, picked up her handbag and headed towards her room.

 

“Goodnight,” the tattooed man said as she passed him by.

 

She turned toward him and smiled broadly. “Goodnight,” she said and continued on her way.

 

Dark wooden stairs led to her room, she slipped the room card into the slot and turned the handle. The door clicked as it closed behind her, she stripped off her clothes and slipped under the duvet. Darkness surrounded her, her head sank into the pillow and after a few moments thought she drifted off to sleep, anxious for tomorrow, and him, to arrive.

 

 

 

Chapter Four – Pride and Punishment

 

Waking later than planned she quickly showered and dressed, grabbed her laptop and headed down to breakfast with barely a minute to spare. A large selection of fruit, cereal and pastries were laid out. She chose some of each and took a seat on the large squashy leather couch beside the smaller fire at the opposite side of the restaurant to where she’d been seated last night.

 

She munched happily on croissant and strawberry jam. Sweet clementines followed and the hotelier appeared before her with a jug. The smell of the freshly brewed coffee filled her nostrils, awakening her senses.

 

“Coffee?” he asked. She nodded and thanked him as he filled her cup. “Did you sleep well?”

“I slept like a log, thank you, the bed is really comfortable.” She sipped the dark bitter coffee, delicious and just what she needed this morning.

 

The hotelier left her after informing her she was welcome to more coffee if she wished.  Opening her laptop she began to type as she finished breakfast, the desire to write about yesterday burned inside her and she needed to do it while still fresh.

 

Totally engrossed in her work she jumped as he stood right beside her, she’d not seen him walk up to her. She beamed up at him and he bent to kiss her mouth softly.

 

“Have you eaten? There’s coffee and help yourself to what’s on the table.

 

He smiled indulgently at her, “I’ll just wait while you finish, then we’ll go upstairs.”

 

Swiftly sipping the last of her coffee she closed her laptop, picked up her handbag and followed him as he walked through the door and led the way up the stairs to their room.

Her heart pounded, she knew she’d have to confess what had happened with the butt plug. It would be the first thing he’d check.

 

Once inside she swallowed hard and explained what had happened. His disappointment was obvious to her and she could’ve cried for her weakness.

 

He questioned her, wanting to know why she’d failed. Needing to understand what had gone wrong, and how she could do better next time.

 

She wasn’t afraid of what punishment he might give, but she was apprehensive, afraid this would cast a shadow over the rest of their time together.

 

“Get undressed and lay down on the floor, make yourself comfortable.” She looked at him questioningly.

 

Not wanting to compound her failure, she removed her clothes and lay face down on the floor at the bottom of the bed. His hands placed the blindfold over her eyes and fastened a collar around her neck. With nimble fingers he threaded rope through the ring on the collar, wrapped it around the leg of the bed and pulled it taut before knotting it firmly.

 

“You can stay there until I’m ready for you.”

 

She lay there, head resting on her arms listening to his movements. She expected him to pick up the tawse or whip and use it on her, so she was surprised to hear the shower running. Obviously in his haste to see her this morning he’d not had time.

 

Once more he stood behind her, talking to her while he dried himself. “Have you had time to reflect? You look comfortable down there.”

 

“I’m sorry. Perhaps if you helped me one night, I need encouragement to get through it.”

 

He untied her and removed the blindfold before walking around the side of the bed and laying back against the pillows.

 

“Come here to me.” He opened his arms to welcome her as she crawled across the bed to him. He kissed her forehead and cuddled her, then guided her head down so her mouth could suck his cock.

 

Already he was hard for her. It seemed he wanted her as much as she wanted him. She smiled and eagerly wrapped her lips around the head of his cock, flicking and licking the sensitive area around the eye before sliding a little further down the shaft.

 

His fingers entwined in her hair and he directed her, taking his pleasure the way he chose, not she.

 

Gradually he pushed her head further and further down, the head of his cock nudged the back of her throat more than once. She struggled not to retch too much, but each time she did he allowed her a second to recover before once more pushing her mouth down the shaft of his cock.

 

Eventually the inevitable happened, as his cock pushed into her throat she retched, his hand held her in place and she threw up a little.

 

Totally mortified because she’d thrown up over him she hurried into the bathroom returning with tissues and a damp cloth. Apologising profusely she cleaned him up, she thought he’d be annoyed, instead he was smiling and reassuring her.

 

“Don’t worry its ok. It proves that you were giving your all.”

 

After disposing of the tissues in the toilet and rinsing the cloth out, she returned and slipped back into the bed beside him. He held her tightly as she snuggled back against him.

 

His arms enveloped her. His hands stroked her body, brushed her nipples, her neck, her face. Soon she was trembling, her breath coming in short gasps as desire built inside her.

 

How quickly he could change her mood, from sorrow, to intense desire. She needed him on her, inside her, taking what was rightfully his.

 

After what felt like hours, but in reality must have been only minutes, his fingers began to explore her soaking wet pussy.

 

Very gently he stroked her clit, teasing her by stopping every time her breathing became ragged and laboured, her cries of pleasure high pitched squeals of excitement.

 

Sitting astride her body he held himself over her face and lowered himself enough to push his balls into her mouth to suck. The more she licked and sucked him, the more he pleasured her with his fingers.

Her body was quivering and trembling, and just at the stage she thought she’d die if she didn’t cum, he took her over the edge into the abyss.

 

Mouth full of his balls, her screams of pleasure were muffled. As there were people in the next room it was probably for the best. The police being called to a murder in room number 2 would take the edge off the pleasure they’d shared.

 

Gently yet firmly, he continued to rub her clit as she rode the waves of her orgasm. Slowly they subsided and he removed himself from her mouth.

 

Her pussy was soaking; the bed beneath her was drenched in her juices. Her pussy lips were swollen, the flesh almost unbearably sensitised.

 

Positioning himself between her legs he plunged the length of his thick cock inside her.  He was so hard she felt as though he was ramming her with a steel rod. The silky skin stretched so taught you’d think it would split when touched. Over and over he pounded away, her legs high and wide to give him complete access.

 

She looked up into his face, watched the pleasure as he took what was his. He licked and sucked her nipples as she stroked and squeezed his. She clenched her pussy muscles to make herself tighter than ever to give him the maximum amount of pleasure and she begged him to fill her full of his cum.

 

Several furious thrusts later he pulled his cock from her and sprayed cum all over her breasts, rubbing it into her soft flesh as he stroked himself. She felt disappointed he’d not cum inside her, but that was more than made up for by the way he’d marked his property.

 

She couldn’t help but pout a little as he explained he had to leave her for a few hours, but he’d be back in plenty of time for dinner and they had the whole night together.

 

A small trickle of cum ran down her side from under her breast, it was cold and sticky now. Another shower was called for, she needed to pee too.

 

“May I be excused please? I need to pee and I think I’d better shower too.” She giggled as she pointed to all the cum rapidly drying on her body.

 

Kissing her softly on the forehead and then mouth he granted her permission to go to the bathroom, and followed her in. He frowned as she went to lift the toilet lid. She followed the direction his finger was pointing and climbed into the bath. It would seem her lesson on peeing for him was not over.

 

She clambered into the bath and turned to face him, legs apart and hands at her sides. He looked into her eyes and slipped his hand over her pussy, massaging and teasing the swollen flesh.

 

“Don’t hold back,” he urged. “Pee for me.”

 

A slow trickle of warm pee ran over his hand and down her thighs. He held his wet fingers to her mouth for her to suck them clean and as she did so he stepped up onto the side of the bath, took his cock in his hand and peed over her breasts.

 

The sensation wasn’t unpleasant; his pee warmed her and if she didn’t think about what it actually was, felt quite sensual too.

 

Having finished he presented his cock to her mouth. She looked up at him hopefully, but he was unrelenting. His cock was going into her mouth.

 

Sliding her lips over the head wasn’t as unpleasant as she’d feared and within seconds all she could taste was him, and that was something she loved.

 

Lesson over she showered and made way for him to shower too, moving into the bedroom so she wasn’t in his way.

 

Her mind reeled over what had happened already since her arrival, and it was far from over yet.

 

She watched him dress, trying hard to pay attention to what he was saying. It was difficult to concentrate on what he was saying when she could see his cock and remember how it felt inside her.

 

 

He kissed her goodbye and walked out the door. Sighing heavily she dressed and picked up her laptop, deciding to go downstairs and write some more about their time together. At least it would while away the hours, and there was time for a late lunch too.

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter Five – Afternoon Delight

 

Walking briskly across the room towards her, his eyes held hers with a look full of meaning, and need. What was it about this man? He could melt her into a warm puddle with a word, or even just a glance. Yet it wasn’t a typical romance they were having, far from it. There was a deep level of care between them, but it certainly wasn’t love as most would know it.

 

She stood, closed her laptop and picked up her handbag, a little more quality time before dinner was to be had. As they walked to the room he asked how she’d spent her time this afternoon. She described how she’d sat in the bar sipping cappuccino and writing about their time together. About the delicious burger she’d ordered for lunch, and how she’d missed him.

 

Once inside the room he instructed her to undress and as she did so he removed his own clothes, slipped under the duvet and told her to lie beside him. Climbing into bed she wriggled her body so she pressed up against him, the heat from his body warmed her inside and out. She loved these intimate moments together; it didn’t need to be sexual to feel close to him.

 

His hands stroked her body, held her against him. Made her feel part of him once more. She was where she belonged, with him.

 

She felt his cock harden and press against her rear, the urge to feel him inside grew stronger, but it was he who dictated the pace, directed and controlled both her pleasure and his own.

 

Like a well fitting glove her ass wrapped tightly around his cock. He’d entered her in one smooth thrust, no need for gentle persuasion. She craved him deeper and deeper inside her.

 

Rolling her over onto her stomach he raised himself above her, cock still deep inside her. His hand covered her mouth, his fingers pinched her nose. Now he controlled when she took a breath too.

 

Allowing her to breathe when he could tell she needed to, he pounded away, fucking her hard and deep. Relentlessly he took his pleasure from her, stopping only once he’d delivered another load of scorching hot cum inside her.

 

Taking time to come down they lay wrapped around each other. She had several more sensitive areas where he’d gripped her hard, dug his fingernails into her flesh. His nose nuzzled her neck, his tongue flicked around her ear, she squealed when he pushed his wet tongue into the ear canal. He knew she had a love hate relationship with the sensation and she fought hard not to push him away. He grinned mischievously knowing the battle going on inside her.

 

His mouth moved back to her neck and his teeth nipped sharply at the nape. Whenever he did this she just went limp, like a kitten being picked up by its mother by the scruff of the neck. Her muscles relaxed instantly and she felt incredibly submissive.

 

Time ticked by and they knew it must be time for dinner. They freshened up and dressed, walked casually down the wooden stairs to the restaurant. A little déjà vu for her as the same waiter enquired if she’d like the same table as

 

last night, it happened to be free. She smiled and thanked him for his thoughtfulness, her eyes glittered in the firelight, cheeks a little flushed from their exertions.

 

Taking the seat opposite him she picked up the menu and looked across at him questioningly. She had a feeling he was going to choose for her, something that had been discussed a few days ago, that gave him the right to decide what she ate and drank when they were together.

 

Order pad at the ready the waiter stood quietly beside them. He ordered for himself, beer battered haddock, shoe string fries and pureed peas, then looked across at her, an amused expression on his face.

 

There were several dishes on the menu she just couldn’t have eaten, so she was relieved when he ordered the duck in red wine jus for her. It was probably about her third choice on the menu, purely because she wasn’t sure she’d enjoy the curly  kale and puy lentils it came with.

 

Food and drinks ordered, they sat talking comfortably, looking around, discussing the other diners and the inn’s ambience. She kept staring at him intently, aware she was doing it, but unable to stop herself or really understand why. It was incredibly intense and intimate, the fact there were at least a couple of dozen others around didn’t intrude on that at all.

 

Their drinks arrived, tall glasses filled with soda and lime for her, lemonade for him. The glasses were so cold the exposure to heat caused small drips of liquid to run slowly down the outside, the glass opaque with condensation.

 

She sucked the ice cold liquid through the long straw slowly, the tangy lime was refreshing, but it did nothing to cool her desire for him.

 

The flames of the open fire licked her flesh with warmth, the moving shadows it created around the room added intimacy to the restaurant. The hubub of conversation from the other diners and those stood drinking at the bar flowed around them.

 

Her eyes shone in the firelight as she looked at him intently. No matter how hard she tried she couldn’t read him, his expression totally inscrutable. Every time she asked what his plans for her were, or even what else he wanted to try with her, he just smiled. His opinion being if she knew what lay in store, she’d have some scrap of control, and that was something he would not allow her.

 

She shivered, she was a little afraid of what might happen, but it was purely a fear of the unknown, because she trusted him more than any other Dom she’d submitted to.

 

Strange how she trusted him so implicitly, yet it was a blind trust. She hated the unknown, being surprised, yet this too was something she gave him and so far he’d not abused that trust. He’d promised he never would.    

 

Their food arrived, the duck was beautifully presented, as was his fish and chips. She looked at him and waited till he started to eat then cut into one of the moist slices of duck breast. The meat melted in her mouth when she slipped it between her lips. She lifted a fork full of kale and lentils, paused and then placed them onto her tongue. The flavour was rather unusual, quite peppery, but very pleasant; it complimented the duck rather well.

 

After they’d both finished eating, the waitress appeared beside them.

 “Would you like to see the dessert menu?”

 

“Yes please,” she said. “We are having a dessert aren’t we? I had the cheese last night.”

 

“So you’d like a dessert?” He looked her indulgently. She smiled at him and crossed her fingers he’d choose something nice for her and rambled on about the various dishes to choose from.

 

The waitress reappeared beside him, “would you like a dessert?” she asked.

 

“No, thank you,” he handed the waitress both of the menus and smiled as he looked across the table and saw her sat open mouthed. Leaning forward a little he said, “You did say I could choose for you, and I’ve chosen.”

 

The shock and disappointment obviously showed on her face, but she was determined not to sulk or express that disappointment, she’d given him control and she could not pick and choose when he should use it.

 

He excused himself and went to the toilet, she sat sipping her drink and looked around the room. The man with the tattooed arms from last night walked over from the bar and placed a log on the fire.

 

As he straightened up he asked, “Is that your boyfriend then?”

 

What could she say? He wasn’t her boyfriend, he was her Dom. She wasn’t sure she could explain it in a way this man would understand, not just in a few words anyway.

 

She smiled in a knowing kind of way and looked at the man. “Sort of.”

 

The man nodded thoughtfully, “I thought he must be something like that.” Then he turned and walked back to the bar. As he returned from the toilet the tattooed man watched him, obviously curious.

 

She swallowed the last of her soda and lime and sat watching as he finished the last of his lemonade. Her heart beat a little faster knowing that soon they’d be alone again and she wondered what the night had in store.

 

Lost in her reverie she jumped as he spoke to her, telling her he was ready to go upstairs. She grabbed her bag and stood up; she looked across to the tattooed man by the bar and smiled. If only he knew.

 

They replied to those who wished them a good night and walked through the door to climb the stairs. He led the way and she couldn’t take her eyes off him as his hand ran up the smooth dark wood of the banister.

 

She felt empty without his cock inside her. Tonight she hoped he’d fuck her long and hard enough that she could feel it for several days afterwards.

 

Naked together in bed, for once the lights turned off, he held her tightly to him. His hands stroked her, caressing her breasts, her pussy and all the soft flesh between.

 

He placed soft kisses onto her face, her neck. His fingers stroked her clit, dipped inside her, soft slurping sounds as he gently finger fucked her. She was beyond soaking.

 

As their arousal grew he became more intense, adding a little pain to her pleasure, the more she endured and suffered for him, the more passionate he became.

 

Fingers tweaked nipples, teeth nipped her neck. She begged him to play with both nipples at the same time, so he slipped an arm beneath her and pinched and rolled them while nibbling and licking her ear.

 

She was panting for breath now, incredibly turned on, ready for the next level.

 

His right hand reached over, jabbed the side of her left breast. As she gasped with the pain his mouth closed over hers tightly and he kissed her passionately. Amazingly shivers of pleasure shot through her body to her pussy, the muscles clenched and juices trickled out and down between her arse cheeks to the bed.

 

His knuckles jabbed at the side of her breast again and again. With each jab he kissed her, told her how he loved it when she suffered for him. She held his cock in her hand, felt it grow harder and harder as she endured. That her pain gave him pleasure was all she needed to know, it was at a level she could handle. She knew if it became too much he would stop.

 

His cock slid between her thighs, rubbed across the outside of her pussy and nudged her clit, soaked with her juices he pulled further back and pushed his cock into her ass.

 

This, this is what she needed. To feel him take what was his. She loved the sensations he created by fucking her. Her whole body tingled, her nipples were so hard they felt like bullets. She felt herself climbing and climbing the pleasure scale till she was at the edge of the plateau before orgasm, and there she stayed.

 

Frustrating, pleasurable, horny as hell. To be kept at that level of arousal and yet denied fulfilment. It wasn’t his doing, it was her barrier to overcome, and at some point she expected he would want to batter it down and take her beyond that limit.

 

She didn’t feel disappointment as he slammed another load of cum inside her, she’d enjoyed every second of it, but she would love to cum for him as he fucked her ass.

 

Withdrawing he lay back beside her in the bed, he spoke quietly, asked how she felt, aware he’d given her yet another new experience. Needed to know how it had affected her and that she was happy.

 

Her hand cupped the side of his face and she reached up to kiss him softly. Of course she was happy, she’d pleased him. If he was happy, so was she.

 

They slept for a few hours, his body wrapped around hers, she felt safe and cocooned from the world. Thoroughly fucked, her arse would remind her of their time together all the way home at least.

 

She was woken early by him, his cock already eager to be inside her. He climbed between her legs and looked down at her. She thumbed his nipples, tweaked them both gently, he loved having them played with, even pinched hard when he was fucking her.

 

Gripping both her ample breasts firmly he plunged his cock deep inside her pussy, she was soaking wet and welcomed him excitedly. The side of her breast was still very tender from last night, his grip sent all sorts of signals to her clit.

 

“You’re such a slut, you’re soaking wet already. You’re My slut.” He reinforced his ownership of her. Reminded her, although she didn’t need it, that she was his and his alone. That her pleasure was his to control.

 

This fuck would have to last until they could meet again, that would not be for a while. As he thrust inside her and emptied his balls he lent forward and bit her lip firmly. Sharp intense pain again shot through her, she shivered as goosebumps appeared on her body and told him how the sensation had affected her.

 

Having stretched their time to the last minute they rose and went into the bathroom, again he supervised her peeing in the bath before leaving her to shower. They packed their clothes and toys away, although none of the toys had even been used. She stroked the lambskin flogger as she put it away, maybe next time.

 

Together they walked down the stairs to reception, she checked them out and then they took a seat on the squashy leather couch. Coffee, pastries, fruit and cereal were all laid out for them to help themselves. She poured coffee for herself and he ordered a pot of tea.

 

She pressed up against him, leaning back so her head rested on his chest. They talked quietly about their time together and what the rest of their day entailed once they went their separate ways.

 

Eventually they could delay no further and gathered their belongings. The wheels on her suitcase trundled across the floor and he held the door for her to walk through. He escorted her to the car park and loaded her case into the boot, she placed her laptop beside it and closed the door.

 

He put his arms around her, their noses and cheeks already chilled, there’d not been a frost last night, but it was still very cold and the wind biting. Again he kissed her face softly, he made her feel treasured, wanted.

 

She climbed into the driving seat, set up her satnav to guide her home, fastened her seatbelt, and turned her face for one last kiss before he closed the door.

 

The engine hummed away as she watched him walk across the road to his own car, shoulders hunched a little against the cold. This was the worst part, and most inevitable. The only thing she ever knew for sure was that their visits had to end at some point, then she had to begin looking forward to the next.

 

She put the car into gear and pulled out of the car park, she had a long journey home and a lot to process in her head as she did so.


1/17/2011 4:36:35 PM

Through A Glass, Darkly

 

Friday night, watching tv at home alone, tired, bored and worse yet….horny as hell.

Her mobile phone rang, there was only one person it could be so late at night. She grabbed her phone eagerly; his name was there on the screen as she pressed the button to answer.

 

“Hello Sir,” her voice breathless with excitement told him all he needed to know, his girl would enjoy this call.

 

“Hello my girl, are you missing me?” He’d been away on business all week and couldn’t see her for several more days; of course she was missing him. A horny slut like his needed lots of attention sexually.

 

“You know I am Sir.”  He smiled. She pouted so prettily, yet was never less than respectful. He hated to deny her anything; yet allowing her everything she wanted was not good for her either.

 

“Go lay on your bed my horny little slut, and get your glass dildo out of the drawer.”

 

Scampering to obey she hastened into her bedroom, shedding clothes on the way. Blouse, bra and skirt laid a trail to her room, no knickers; she was not permitted to wear them.

 

Pausing for a moment to plug in the earphones she then lay naked on top of the downy duvet, legs spread wide. Her hand reached over to the bedside drawer and pulled out the glass dildo as he’d instructed.

 

“Put your hand between your legs; tell me if you’re wet.” The husky tones in her ears sounded as though he was lying next to her. “Circle your clit 5 times slowly with your finger, but don’t touch it.”

 

She was wet already, the anticipation perhaps, but his voice always had the same effect on her. The right word from him and her head was put into that place where nothing existed but the two of them, and her need to please him.

 

“I’m soaking wet Sir,” she said it shamelessly, there was no embarrassment, he loved exciting her. Often he’d plunge his fingers deep into her wetness until they were covered in her thick juices, then he’d trace around her lips before kissing her so they could share the sweetness.

 

“Push the dildo into your pussy. I’ll be very disappointed if it’s not completely coated in pussy juices.” Even when they were together he would sometimes supervise her masturbation, watching closely to see where and how she touched, sometimes permitting her to orgasm, other times making her wait until he pleasured her.

 

Today was about connecting, his way of drawing them close together because they were so far apart.

 

Slowly she pushed the knobbly glass dildo deep into her pussy. Once fully inserted she paused and waited heart pounding for his next instruction.

 

“Circle your clit 5 more times, but you’re still not to touch it.” She almost groaned in frustration. Her clit was swollen, the size of a large pea. The hood fully rolled back exposing it to the cool air. Closer and closer her finger edged towards her clit. She was playing with fire, because if she accidentally brushed her clit, he would know the instant she did.

 

“Take the dildo out of your pussy, make sure you’ve got it well lubricated and push it into your arse.” His voice snapped her into action, the glass dildo slid slickly out of her soaking wet pussy.

 

Quickly she rolled onto her side and pressed the dildo against her anus. Gently but firmly she pushed it slowly inside, in seconds all except the large ball at the end of the dildo was inside her.

 

A sigh of satisfaction, finally she felt at peace, his voice caressed her ears and her arse was full. 

 

She lay on her back and spread her legs wide, her eyes closed, she imagined he lay on the bed next to her. Very gently she rode up and down; the pressure ensured every glass knobble rubbed against her anus.

 

“Now rub your clit for me, fast and hard, I want you to cum.” His voice growled. “I want you to think of my cock fucking your mouth, my fingers in your arse stretching you wide. Don’t say anything, just concentrate on those sensations, your mouth and arse full of me.”

 

Within seconds she shuddered and gasped as her body was wracked with such pleasurable sensations she almost forgot to breath. Her arse and pussy spasmed as her orgasm snatched her away in a maelstrom of ecstasy.

 

After shocks wracked her body, she moaned and writhed on the bed, his voice urging her on with words of encouragement, soothing her, holding her close as she rode each wave of her orgasm.

 

Finally she collapsed spent on the bed. Over and over he told her how proud he was of her, how he loved to make her cum. His soft voice brought her back to normality and she stretched like a satisfied cat.

 

“Just a small reminder to my lovely horny slut what’s in store for her when I get home.”  She smiled as he told her to curl up in bed and get some sleep, he would be there in the flesh soon.

 

Still smiling she hung up the phone, pulled the glass dildo from her arse and closed her eyes to dream of him holding her all through the night.

 

 

 

 

 

 


12/24/2010 4:15:24 AM

                        

Round And Round The Mulberry Tree

 

                                        Chapter 3 –  Pure Decadence

 

At his instruction she slipped gratefully beneath the sumptuous feather and down filled quilt. Sensitised flesh pressed against the soft Egyptian cotton sheets. She pulled the quilt around her, revelling in its softness and warmth. The bed was high and wide. The mattress firm enough to provide support, yet soft enough to offer a luxurious level of comfort.

Nestling back against the pillow she felt almost as though cocooned. The bed a safe haven, somewhere for he and she to close out the world and revel in the joy they could create together.

Eyes closed she felt the mattress dip with his weight as he joined her under the quilt.

“Come here” the warm tenor of his voice instructed. His arms were open and welcoming as she moved into them. The soft hair covering his arms and chest brushed against her sensitive nipples as he caressed her body.

He pulled her tight against him, breathing in the scent of her hair, pressing his face into her neck, their legs entwined in an effort to be as physically close as possible. Two bodies, but one soul.

A long slow breath left her lips, brushed softly against hairs on his chest so they tickled her nose as they moved. She looked up, his hand cupped the back of her head and he bent to kiss her forehead then looked down into her eyes.

Such a sensual, intimate moment, she felt the pull of him, like the life giving gaze of the sun to a flower.

His hand pulled back and again slapped her cheek. “Keep looking at me” he instructed.

Fighting the urge to scrunch up her eyes and flinch in anticipation of what she now knew was coming she maintained her gaze. Once more his hand landed in a stinging blow to her left cheek then his mouth swooped to hers, tongue demanding access to hers in a kiss that left her in no doubt he was as aroused and passionate as she.

With both hands held on the pillow above her head his hand slipped between her thighs. His fingers brushed lightly against her labia, her soft belly, her inner thighs. She wanted to feel him touch her, yet knew he would take his own sweet time to do so. He intended seeing desperation in her eyes, have her begging for release, this could take some time.

Skilfully avoiding her swollen clit he slid 2 fingers inside her sopping wet pussy. The effort of keeping her legs open and not clamping them around his wrist to grind against him made her sweat. She was so aroused she bit her lip to prevent herself screaming for him to fuck her. To do so would almost certainly amuse him and encourage him to torment her further.

She was so wet her juices oozed from her pussy and trickled down between the cheeks of her arse. His fingers squelched noisily as they moved in and out of her. There was an increase in pressure as he added another finger, followed soon after by a fourth. Never had she been so full, taken so much and she was so relaxed she was sure he would be able to slip his whole hand in and fist her.

“Turn over, let me get at your back.” His voice softly commanded, dragging her mind back from the depths just enough to enable her to twist over onto her stomach.

His hand cupped the back of her neck pressing her gently down into the pillow. “Spread your legs,” he demanded. Eagerly she opened them wide to allow him the access he desired.

Once more his fingers plunged into her wetness, juices flowed freely from her pussy now threatening to soak the pristine white sheets. He slid his fingers out of her tight pussy, up between the cheeks of her bottom and lingered, stroking, teasing, he knew she anticipated his invasion of her anus, but it would be when he chose, not she.

Ensuring his well lubricated fingers did not hurt her, he slid gently inside with first one and then a second finger. She moaned with pleasure and lifted her hips to encourage his exploration.

In and out he thrust with two fingers of his right hand and the nails of his left raked her back. There was a pause as he scooped more of her juices and then pressure as he pushed not two, but three fingers into her anus. She grunted and raised her hips higher. She loved the fullness, how he stretched her. 

All three fingers sank into her to the hilt. Arse high in the air and thrusting back hard against his hand she moaned and grunted with animalistic delight. God how she loved this feeling.

Fucking her hard he growled into her ear, “you dirty fucking bitch, you love this don’t you. You love having your arse fucked.”

 He was right, she did.


12/23/2010 12:19:22 PM

Shared Memories

Today I'm taking a few minutes to write a few words about my Uncle and Godfather who passed away peacefully this morning.

After months, of what was at times an excrutiatingly painful illness, I'm pleased he slipped away in his sleep. At the worst times it seemed the least likely thing to happen, as he spoke often of committing suicide because he couldn't cope with the pain.

Such a big man, my uncle, reduced to this.

A man suffering from terminal cancer given only paracetamol to ease his agony. Eventually someone realised they might as well have been smarties, and prescribed him adequate pain relief.

Listening to my mother's tears over the telephone as she recounted finding, and reading one of his suicide letters mixed in amongst all the other documents she'd been asked to sort through for him this last few weeks was hard to hear.

I'm glad he didn't go through with it, somehow his suicide would've made it even harder to deal with.

Thank you to all the Macmillan nurses who helped restore some quality of life for my uncle and regain his dignity.

I've so many memories from my childhood of this man, from being next to him while he skinned rabbits and hares he'd shot, to standing on tiptoes at the kitchen sink in my grandparents house helping him get ready for a Saturday night out.

I'd always clean his toothbrush with lots of that green soap you use for scrubbing shirt collars, after all he'd not want to brush his teeth with a dirty toothbrush would he? God knows what it tasted like when he actually used it, but to a young child it seemed a very logical thing to do, and he loved the ritual as much as me.

Swarthy skin, jet black hair that he always combed over to hide his baldness, you know, like Bobby Charlton used to. I'd always laugh at his vanity when the wind blew it up in the air like a sail, yet he never changed it.

The family often spoke in hushed tones about him, it was an open secret in the family that my uncle did things with men. Yet it was never openly acknowledged that he was gay, or at the very least bi.

He never married, and there'd only ever been one love in his life, a woman my grandmother never approved of. After that there were only men, usually much younger than him.

I often wonder how di might have been if he'd married the woman he loved, or felt able to come out of the closet.

Many years ago I chose him of my five uncles, to give me away if I ever got married. I'm glad I asked him, but sorry he never got the chance.

I feel an extra connection to him perhaps because of my lifestyle. In many ways there's a parallel to how BDSM and an alternative lifestyle we choose now, to how it must've been to be gay 50 years or so ago.

I wonder how many in my family speak of me in similar hushed tones. I'm sure there was much of it when Sophia was still alive, but I'm very proud of how they embraced my partners decision to make such a drastic life change, especially this particular uncle.

So sleep well uncle, because by God you've earned it, and thank you for being there for this child.


12/10/2010 3:25:34 PM

Round And Round The Mulberry Tree

 

Chapter One - And In The Beginning.

 

Her heart pounded as she got out of the car, picked her suitcase out of the boot and walked through the door of the inn. There he was, waiting by the bar, smiling and obviously pleased to see her.

She stopped in front of him placing the heavy suitcase by her feet and smiling shyly looked up at him, seeing the pleasure in his eyes as he looked at her.

 It had been a long drive, over 4 hours of almost all motorway, and that on top of a long working day, yet it was worth it for this moment alone. He picked up the suitcase and gestured which direction she should go. She thought she’d be nervous, yet far from it, she was excited at what the night held for her.

The door clicked as it closed behind them, now they were truly alone, tonight there were no other guests staying at the inn, and the staff slept in a different part of the building. If she screamed no-one would hear her.

Putting a brave face on the situation she smiled and talked as she removed her boots and placed her bag and coat onto a chair. She felt his presence, yet he said little.

She turned to face him, he waited with open arms for her to step forward into his embrace, gladly she entered and felt his heavenly warmth, the scent of him wakened every sense as she laid her cheek on his chest. Now she was where she wanted, needed to be.

Her clothes were removed, her naked flesh pressed against the roughness of his jeans and sweater. The contrast of him fully clothed and her total exposure hi-lighted her position, her vulnerability.

He stroked her, kissed her gently on the top of her head, her forehead, cheeks and side of her mouth. Enough to reassure, to tempt, but far from enough to satisfy her needs. She wanted to taste him, have his tongue invade her mouth, for him to drink his fill of her. He chose to make her wait.

As she stood there eyes closed savouring his nearness he placed a finger under her chin, lifted her face to look at him. It felt as though he was checking for something, but obviously reassured he pulled a blindfold from his pocket and pulled it over her head.

Eyes covered she had to rely on her other senses. She couldn’t feel him, didn’t know if he stood in front or behind her, until his hands touched her and turned her around. He placed her hands onto the backrest of the padded chair she’d seen earlier in the room.

Now she was leaning forward enough to present her naked bottom to him, legs spread just enough to allow him total access should he wish it.

Fingertips trailed down her back, she trembled as he touched one of the most sensitive parts of her body, already her pussy was soaking wet, even without touching she could feel it.

Her body felt cold as he moved away, she listened intently hoping to work out what he intended to do next, but try as she may she could not.

A sense of panic coursed through her. What the hell was she doing here in a hotel with a man she’d met only once before? They’d spoken for many hours between that first meeting and now, but still, here she was totally alone with a man that in reality, she barely knew.

She could hear a zip, a rustle. What if he had a knife? There was rope in her case, he could strangle her, or he could tie her up and stab her.

What should she do? Remove the blindfold, risk his wrath and worse, his disappointment and be completely wrong?

But what if the fears were founded? Tomorrow staff would find her lifeless body when they came to clean the room.

Common sense kicked in, this man had no need to spend so many hours building a trust and rapport, just to kill her when she arrived.

The chair, her support and life raft, was removed.

Still a little jittery she stood, hands at her sides, now she could feel him in front of her, feel the warmth of his body almost brush against her.

Sudden harsh pain coursed through her nipple as hard fingers pinched and pulled it. Shock raced through her, it was so unexpected and instinct caused her to bring a hand up to protect her breast.

His voice sternly asked her why she’d moved her hand, instructed her to place it back at her side and not move it again. He stepped behind her and a hard slap on her rump warned her what lay in store if she disobeyed again.

 

 Before her apology had faded a different sensation coursed through the abused nipple, pure reaction caused her hand to lift again………this time her hand hit his face.

 

The sensation she’d been unable to identify was his mouth gently teasing her hard nipple. Again he stepped behind her, explaining the error of her ways as his hand swept down in a second punishing slap on her rump. The flesh screamed, heat blazing where it stung, her disappointment at such a mistake brought tears to her eyes. If she failed so soon what hope for later when the play may be harder. Surely he would lose all interest in her then.

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter Two – Getting To Know You

 

His arms wrapped around her, held her body close to him, stroking her and soothing her back to calmness. He was in no rush, she realised this part of their time together was about getting to know each other in a physical way as well as mental.

 

Cat like she pressed against him, purring with pleasure at his touch. The jitters had passed, now she felt herself relaxing and opening up to him. His firm way of dealing with her non compliance had ironically served to reassure her he was worthy of her submission, and her trust.

 

He took hold of her hands and guided them back to the chair, placed her in the same accessible position as before. She sensed he stood close behind her, yet not touching, her body trembled in anticipation and desire.

 

His nails raked down her back, soft fingertips fluttered across the scorched skin, the contrast of sensations releasing her of all thought and desires, her mind totally taken up with the experience.

 

Purring, mewing, growling her response to his touch. An animalistic reaction to such simplistic stimulation, and yet he’d known in advance this was how to reduce her to a puddle, an ocean of need and desire, it’s depth to be explored and plundered.

 

Cool leather flicked across her skin. The soft thongs brushed lightly across back, shoulders, rump and thighs. The cool breeze made the tiny hairs on her body stand on end. The flogger used in a sensual way wakens the skin, kick starts the nerve endings to pleasure and pain sensations. The nails and fingertips on her back had already begun this process, the flogger enhanced it.

 

Breathing heavily she bowed her head, enjoying the increase in sensation, anticipation of the night ahead, juices now flowed freely from her pussy and down her thighs.

 

There was a loud thud as he whacked the bed with the flogger, a rush of air as it whisked past her body. She knew had it connected the intensity would have made her yelp in pain.

 

She sucked in air and relaxed as all went quiet behind her, the flogger had been placed to one side.

 

A rush of whistling air above her head, the flogger replaced with the single tail whip. The tip kissed her skin, the tiny sting it left in its wake sending waves of pleasure rippling out across her back.

 

Flick, flick, flick, over and over, each kiss in a different place, slowly building in intensity, making her want more, switching off totally from the outside world, she was absorbed only in the moment and the kiss of the whip.

 

Finally the swishing ceased, the smooth leather snake was laid down her spine it held her in place more surely than any number of restraints. Again he stood close behind her, fingertips stroked her body, his mouth pressed against the red raised welts on her body, a kiss of his lips for every kiss of the whip.

 

She was lost, whimpering, quivering, all rational thought gone. She heard him murmuring, but couldn’t make out the words, only sense that he was thrilled with her responses.

 

He removed the blindfold and held her tight in his arms, kissed her face softly, then stood back to look at her. She held his gaze not wanting to miss any hint or signal he may give her.

 

Whack!!

 

Shock, horror as realisation of what just happened came to her. He’d slapped her across the face. Not hard enough to bruise, enough to sting, to shock.

 

He looked intently into her eyes, reading her reaction before he stepped forward and held her face in his hands, kissed her softly.

 

Whack!!

 

Again he slapped her face, harder this time, and despite the intellectual part of her brain screaming that this was not how it should be, the primeval part of her took hold and she sank deep into a submissive headspace.

 

This time he took her gently in his arms, kissing her, holding her tight. Now he knew her submission to him to be complete and he revelled in her gift.


5/18/2008 1:13:46 PM
I had a great day at the BBB,  saw a couple of people I know, spoke to a few people I didn't, and got winked at by a woman...........

There was a guy I saw a few times, our eyes kept meeting and he smiled at me, mind you the first time I saw him was in the loos, so maybe that's why lol.

I bought a gorgeous new suede flogger and a buffalo hide slapper, I can't wait to try them out.

Oh and I'm so lucky with the friends I have, thank you all for a great weekend, and next time we're taking over the wing of the hotel so there's no complaints about the noise.
I'm innocent of this obviously, it was the Geordie tart to blame for it all lmao.

5/17/2008 4:16:11 AM
An important lesson to be had in this life.
 
Not only should you listen, you must be able to hear what is said.

For anyone who's going, have a great time at the BBB, I certainly intend to, and you never know........you might just spot me in the crowd.

3/23/2008 6:10:39 AM
Happy Easter

3/22/2008 10:34:40 AM
I've always been a fan of Sherlock Holmes and much of what is written in those fabulous stories by Conan Doyle can be transferred to real life.
One of my favourite quotes (below) has often encouraged me to follow a logical and methodical path to find the answer.

"When you have eliminated all which is impossible, then whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth."

One should never stop asking questions, pondering the mysteries and wherefores of life.
Everything that happens is a lesson, a tool to aid our growth as a person.
I've grown up, but I'll never stop growing, and I'm still looking for the answers.

3/18/2008 2:26:50 PM
Well I never want to experience another day like today, to see that small white casket there at the front was heart breaking.

Jonathan was amazing, let me hold his hand when I needed to, yet fighting demons of his own, memories of his own baby girl he laid to rest years ago.

Poor Marcus looked like he'd cried for weeks, and aged 10 years, I can't even begin to imagine what he and his wife are going through.

It's become the norm now to play contemporary music at funerals. Some may think that crass or tacky, and I have to say I wondered at the wisdom of REM everybody hurts, but when you actually listen to the lyrics ....."
When you're sure you've had enough of this life, well hang on
Don't let yourself go, 'cause everybody cries and everybody hurts sometimes
"


I've hurt, there have been times I've had more than enough of life, but I've hung on and I understand how precious life is, what a gift.

Enough sadness, that's not why I began this journal, but I needed to put into words how I felt, think out loud as it were, and that's exactly what I've done.


3/15/2008 7:24:37 AM
Well I'm awake, about all I can say after the long day I had yesterday.
I left home for work at 6am and got back just before 2am because I stayed in the office taking calls for Sports Relief.

People can be so generous, and all those £5 or £10 donations add up. I even took a few that were much higher, but the call that sticks in my mind is the man who told the person next to me to he wanted to give £2, then changed his mind to £3.

Now this may not sound much, but this was the last £3 this guy had, every penny, and he was donating it to what he considers a worthy cause, for people he obviously thinks worse off than him.

So here's the question, if you had only £3 left would you give your last penny away to total strangers? I like to think I would, but the reality may be different.

3/14/2008 12:35:56 PM
Ok this evening I'm taking donation calls for sports relief.
I hope many of you will contribute something to this worthy cause, and who knows, you may get to speak to me lol

3/13/2008 11:54:59 AM

Tuesday I've a funeral to attend, not something uncommon as you get older, although seems I've already attended more funerals than weddings in my 44 years.

This one is a new experience for me, and although funerals are always sad, I've always found them to be a celebration too, a chance to discuss the person who's passed and remember the good times. Actually I'm a firm believer that while a person is remembered and loved, they're never really gone, and that's largely how I've dealt with it.

So why is this funeral different for me? Because this time it's a child, not quite a year old.

This little girl fought for life from the day she was born so prematurely 11 months ago, and my friend and his wife coped somehow with the knowledge of the battles she had ahead of her.

The poor little mite never had a day outside of hospital, or off a ventilator, and it was when her parents were told she would almost certainly be very severely brain damaged after the next series of operations, IF she survived them, they made the difficult decision to stop all medical intervention other than to ensure she had no pain.
It took less than 15 minutes for her life to melt away.

Some would say they made the easy choice by switching off her life support, but I disagree, they've taken the hardest route of all, and I don't envy them one bit.
I've offered my support, and agreed they've made the right choice, perhaps this makes me sound callous, but I know any good parent wants only the best for their children, and they're good people.

How do you celebrate the life of one so young. A child with no experience of life other than an incubator and hooked up to machines? As yet I have no idea.


I've never been able to have children of my own, last week a girl I work with brought her new born in to show him off.
She was all smiles and handed me this tiny bundle.
I froze, I've never held a baby before.
"Oh you'll be fine" she said confidently, and amazingly he didn't puke on me or start screaming the place down for the whole errr minute or so I sat looking at him in amazement at how tiny everything was on this small person.

Life is a gift, yet how often we fail to appreciate it, and how much we waste with petty disagreements.

It takes times like this to really bring it home, a life ended and a new one begun. Neither made news at ten, yet both huge landmarks in the lives of those two families.


3/9/2008 5:20:42 PM
Well I've some new toys thanks to my best friend, an ass hook, a ball clamp and some new nipple clamps.
Who's a lucky girl then having a friend who can make things like that? lol

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