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Be kind to those you love while you can.
It is with a very heavy heart that I have to announce that my lovely sub has lost a multiple struggle against several cancers. She brightened my life for over six years since we met here, and will always be remembered with great fondness.
Since there is no way that anyone could possibly taker her place, I am announcing that Zeke is giving up this site. This profile will be left live as an historical document, but there will be no further positive involvement.
Thank you all, and good night.
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If the link in the last post doesn't work, try this one: http://www.collarspace.com/bdsm/v/1120943/photos.htm |
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Hey, have a gander at how good my sub is looking: http://www.collarspace.com/personals/o/1/v/1120943/default.htm
Doesn't it make you feel envious? |
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I know someone who has become a sexygenarian today!
And very well she looks on it too. |
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A little hint for every Dom who loves to see his sub in leather - buy her some leather!
She'll look good and feel good and you'll be able to trade some of that breathy gratitude for a few wee favours ;) |
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I think there must be a business opportunity here, correcting the English of many of the fascinating but appallingly-badly spelled spelled profile messages displayed by some apparently interesting subs (and, truth to tell many Dommes, too).
So ladies, if you would like a better chance to attract someone who is not a knuckle-dragger, feel free to send me a copy of your profile: I will be happy to batter it into shape and return it to you.
This will involve some effort on my part but it will probably be less painful than suffering the contagion of contracted gerunds that infect Collarspace.
And as a public service I will be delighted to do it entirely free of any charge. Although I may claim a spank or two if I happen to be in your area at some point in the future :) |
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Zeke does indeed know everything and is happy to confirm that "Doome" may well be correct, if only in the context of "Prepare to meet thy...".
In any other context it simply denotes someone who doesn't pay enough attention to detail and therefore probably isn't to be trusted with tight knots.
Hope this helps... |
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Hmmm, it looks like the blessed Carnation may be back in circulation. Is Zeke about to come out of retirement? |
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Well here I am, back again for a limited engagement.
Hello ladies. |
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Zeke has left the building.
Mr Zzypyty announces his (partial) retirement from CM, at least for the time being.
It's been an interesting couple of years and he's learned and taught a few things to/from a few people.
Drop me a line and I may one day reply... |
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For all corset fans: check out WhiteCarnation's profile.
If you are really lucky, or ask very nicely, we may release one or two other photos from a night out in Manchester last week... |
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I wash told at the weekend that my voice shounded just like Sean Connery's :) |
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It's always sad when a project reaches its climax, regardless of how successful and rewarding it has been. |
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It seems that some people are making erroneous inferences based on earlier journal entries.
Bear in mind that I am an engineer and use language very precisely. Please try not to make utter dicks of yourselves :) |
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One thing that my time here on CM has taught me is that very few subs of any worth will to throw themselves at one, or respond eagerly to urgent entreaties.
To gain a deep knowledge and the trusting friendship (possibly even the submission) of any lady of quality will require careful cultivation over a long period of time.
Have patience, the rewards can be well worth the effort.
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Just back in after my first ever long meeting with a real Domme. Definitely an evening to remember.
I managed not to accrue any body markings this time, but I have commissioned some strokes from her and expect our next encounter to produce something particularly graphic!
Thank you for your company, H. |
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ANNOUNCEMENT
It is with considerable pleasure and pride that I can announce that the lady known here as WhiteCarnation has honoured me by consenting to wear my collar.
It was placed around her lovely neck on Saturday as the precursor to a quite amazing weekend, in which she more than justified my decision to offer her that little band of steel.
We have come a long way together over the past couple of years, and although circumstances may soon force a change in our physical relationship, nothing will ever damage our lasting and trusting friendship.
For the delectation of others, I have placed a photograph of the lovely lady in my profile.
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Good old France - saves me the cost of a luxury dinner and earns YOU a pink arse :) |
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Well, the maid finally turned up. Thank you W, for one of the most memorable weekends of my life.
It was FUN, FUN, FUN, fun :)
Did you remember to remove it before you got home?
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I've been busy - does anyone know the score of the France/Scotland game? |
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A young lady has sent me a description of a fantasy she has. Extremely good writing and very believable.
It would be fun to make it happen :) |
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Hmmm. I win the bet and she abandons CM. Am I really that scary? |
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Working hard again this evening, so I've arranged some educational and cultural viewing to pass the time.
I've lined up "Girl Slaves of Morgana Le Fay", "The Perils of Gwendoline in the Land of the Yik Yak", "Portnoy's Complaint" and "Bell Bottom George".
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Service note for my harem:
Evening, girls, either my ISP or CM is having trouble tonight, and response is extremely slow. If I don't reply quickly it is probably because of that and not because I'm chatting to some other floozy.
Might be, but probably not. |
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Captain' log, Star date 16.17.3.13. Our mission - to boldly go where no man has gone before...
(Edited) |
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An evening of listening to the Penguin Cafe Orchestra - bliss! |
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Everybody needs a good night at the pub now and again, even on a school night. |
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Watching a DVD of "Mrs Brown's Boys" and laughing like a drain.
Dead sophistimacated, me.
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We have a WINNER!!
Well done to all of those of you who knew that the quote was from the 1937 film "Oh Mr Porter", starring Will Hay. Our lucky winner is Ms Gloria Smudd of Giggleswick, who slightly spoiled her triumph by going into quite nauseating detail about how she would like to use the cheese that is at the centre of the film's most famous scene.
Or rather, how she would like the cheese to be used. I've never come across a dairy fetishist before - I've only ever used artificial cream - but she also suggested things to do with buttermilk that bordered on the obscene. She sounds like a fun girl!
So Gloria, please get in touch again to organise delivery of your prize but you must understand that the only involvement with your particular predilection that I will countenance will be to rub your arse with Lurpak first.
That was fun, I think we'll have another competition soon. Anyone have an idea for a prize?
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"Next train's gone!"
Free spanking to anyone who can identify the film that features that line.
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j2AvU2cfXRk |
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Has someone dipped me in catnip and I didn't notice?
Women are viewing my profile from all over the world tonight, and some of them even look as if they may be real! |
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Sitting in my lonely flat late at night, doing bookwork and listening to a CD of incidental music from "Randall and Hopkirk, Deceased".
Does life get any better? |
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I don't even know exactly where Togo is, but I seem to be a big hit there :)
Somewhere in Africa, isn't it? |
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Hey, I just found out I could be an Australian: http://www.citizenship.gov.au/learn/cit_test/prcatice_test_1/Practice_Test_1.swf |
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Someone has appeared on CM whose profile photo manages to make a shiny latex catsuit look unsexy.
How is that possible? |
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Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. |
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You know all these Dommes' profiles that state they are stunningly beautiful?
How many of them, do you think, would be willing to put it to a vote? |
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My goodness! Two inches of snow south of 54°N and you'd think the world had come to an end.
I believe that conditions in London have now deteriorated to Scottish Spring!! |
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Dear Fellow Citizens of CM,
If you are trying to portray yourself as a highly intelligent, erudite and worldly-wise personality, please at least try to ensure that your spelling is up to scratch.
Many of us have spell checkers built into our browsers and there is little more likely to destroy your proffered image of a controlled and controlling Dom/me or a thoughtful Sub/be than a whole mess of wiggly red lines in your profile message.
As a service to humanity I will hereby offer to correct your English free, gratis and for nothing. If you have some text of which you are not sure, please feel free to mail it to me for immediate rectification.
In this way I will feel that I have, in however small a way, made the world of kink a better place.
I thank you for your attention,
Zeke Zzypyty (professional pedant). |
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This is going to sound slightly peevish and possibly a little bit bigoted but it's not.
If you state that you are a transsexual, please would you let the rest of us know which direction your journey is taking or has taken?
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Have I ever mentioned my corduroy fetish? |
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It is always very flattering when the "Who's Viewing Me" label goes red.
But not when it turns out to be a twenty-something from the US. Give it up girls, I won't fall for it. |
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So perhaps the chicken is really a raven? |
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So she chickened out and I got stood up. Now left with several cans of Carling, bought specially - anyone?
On the bright side, the handcuffs had needed a good polish anyway. |
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What am I going to do with these daffodils? |
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Worryingly, I find the new, sophisticated appearance of Grayson Perry's Clare persona rather attractive. |
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Well each to her own of course, but I always thought she deserved better than "owned whore".
A bit sad, really.
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I've updated my profile, to cater for the remote possibility that you win once.
Not that that's going to happen :) |
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Don't you find it embarrassing when you send a sexy text to someone, and someone else answers their phone?
No, neither do I :) |
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OK, Auntie Zeke is in, tell me your troubles... |
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It's sad when real-life tragedy intrudes, but happy when that tragedy can be coped with. |
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Mistress (n)
A sexy lady who thinks she's in charge. |
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Recipe for wobbly pink blancmange.
Ingredients:
One raspberry jelly, two cans Carnation milk, one bolshie sub.
Method:
Mix together and whip into a frenzy... |
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I don't know, what are subs coming to these days, me with a higher science degree and she thinks she can lecture me in arithmetic...
She'll pay for that :) |
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Life is a series of missed opportunities and is only made bearable by those we grasp with both hands. |
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Don't you find it just a little bit scary when there is suddenly a realistic prospect of your darkest fantasies being realised? |
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Can't sleep. I need a bad woman tonight. |
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Ooohhh!!! Some Dommes are what we in Scotland would call "nippy sweeties", aren't they?
I don't think I'd ever want to place my trust or my body in the hands of someone like that.
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Spot the odd one out - all seen as "Loves" in a female slave's profile:
Corner Time, Humiliation, Objectification, Female Supremacy |
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It is being proved to me once again that the brain is the sexiest organ in the body and that charm, wit and guile are the strongest aphrodisiacs :) |
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Oh joy! Between about 22:00 and 00:00 CM becomes a veritable salmagundi of submissive feminine pulchritude. |
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Why is it harder to walk up a stopped escalator than an ordinary stair? |
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I cannot be the only one who finds the exchange of the real name an almost karmic experience... |
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Oh dear, Kayto,
Total sense of self understanding failure. One mail and I'm blocked. And blocked with gloating. from Kayto's journal, following my mail at 20:55:
"9/16/2012 9:01:48 PM: woohoo!! Just blocked my first one I am surprised it's taken this long before I had to block someone"
Dear Kayto - given your predisposition to take offence I also am surprised it's taken this long.
Anyone interested, please mail me for the complete exchange.
Personally I'm not upset, my mail has served its purpose of weeding out an unsuitable correspondent :) |
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Well she comes back to CM for the third time to see if the inmates have improved. One deliberately and cheekily provocative email gets me blocked.
I don't think it's CM that needs to improve... |
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So who else has had a mail from Rick Scott? |
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I find it amusing how many fierce, capable, awesome Dommes manage to forget their passwords and have to create new profiles.
Makes you wonder if they can remember where they left their whips. Or their subs... |
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it's a shame that she's blocked me for telling her the truth because she can't now receive the compliments she deserves for apparently coming to her senses.
Eh bien, c'est la vie... |
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Maid wanted
I've had to let the last maid go, she wasn't really up to the job (actually it was her latex allergy that was the problem).
So I am once again looking for a maid for my flat in Manchester. All requisites, including frilly uniform, provided.
Apply here. Pleasant interview over good meal guaranteed. |
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That's a shame. She finally seems to have come to her senses and understood what I was saying but I can't send her a mail to congratulate her because I'm still blocked.
That's sad, but I hope she attracts a less dangerous class of perv. now. |
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Hmmm.
So one is a lesbian dominant and one is a lesbian slave? And both have the same particular unfortunate characteristic? And are both online at about the same time? And are both arguably from the same place?
Do we have a category for schizophrenics?
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Oh dear, oh dear. If you''re going to be a big, bad Domme you should at least learn to spell "fucking" properly.
Tsk, kids! |
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Good news - my broadband is nearly up to dial-up speeds! |
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I meant to be in bed an hour ago - why are there so many interesting ladies on here tonight? |
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G G G G G o o o o o d d d d d, t t t t t h h h h h i i i i i s s s s s i i i i i s s s s s p p p p p a a a a a i i i i i n n n n n f f f f f u u u u u l l l l l ................. |
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...and since you asked - my helicopter is called "Budgie", even though it is a Squirrel. |
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This message was brought to you at a mind-blowing 28KB/s.
:( |
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Well, you can call me a cynical, hard-bitten old curmudgeon (if you are looking for a good spanking, that is) but I don't reckon that a relationship that goes from CM newbie to collared slave inside three weeks is really likely to have that indeterminate something that leads to longevity in a loving D/s relationship.
Of course, she could always be a crafty old slapper just looking for a quick shag. That would work.
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Well it's still a bit slow, but reliable and staying up long enough to provide sufficient satisfaction.
Now, that reminds me of something. Just a minute, it'll come to me...
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Well, that wasn't too bad an evening. It stayed up nearly all night, although not with the kind of performance I used to get when I was younger.
It helped me satisfy several ladies but if I can just get it a bit faster it should suit us all better.
It seems to be getting tired now as it's dropping quite a lot now at the end of the evening.
But thank you PlusNet, for keeping the broadband up all night for me.
Z
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Dear PlusNet,
200kB/s <> 5MB/s.
Z |
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Hi J,
It sounds as if you are in need of some cheering up. If you turn your profile back on I'll share some of my happiness :)
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She's Hiding!!
A lady I know has turned her profile off and is lurking here tonight. I think she's hiding from one of her other Doms.
What to do? Name her and let her other man punish her for teasing him? Or keep quiet and punish her myself as a favour to the deceived party?
Answers on a postcard, please... |
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Aaahhh! So that's what the black colour of the logname means. I had wondered. |
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Its all right, for you lot, looking forward to your Jubilee holidays.
Some of us are republicans and are working in the morning...
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There is something very sad about watching a lady whom I know to be worthy of much better continuing to exhibit her self-mutilation for the benefit of morons.
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I'm going to have to stop coming here after a few glasses of wine.
Did I really write that? |
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No, the "Who's Viewing Me?" flag is definitely broken. Does anyone know how to contact tech support here as they seem to have run away and hidden? |
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is anyone else finding that the "Who's Viewing Me?" flag is red only to find no new profiles when clicking it? |
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It may be a slightly ungallant thought, but if someone is offering her (k)nickers for sail, one must wonder just how large the knickers are.
Even if just large enough for a small dinghy she must be some size of a lass! |
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Thank you, K, for a most delightful evening.
XX |
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OCCASIONAL MAID NEEDED for flat near Manchester. All necessities supplied - dusters, Pledge, frilly dress, gag, shackles, plenty of manual encouragement.
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Bring you own stockings and high heels. Interviews available immediately. Overnight accommodation available if tasks prove too onerous. |
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So she joined on CM the 7th and was collared by the 11th?
Hmmm... Something tells me that's not going to last. |
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Do you remember Norman Collier and his broken microphone act? That's what this broadband connection is like just now.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sEC1VUlwUvU
Have I mentioned the problems I'm having with broadband? |
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Well the new broadband is working at last but isn't yet that reliable.
It seems it can only keep it up for no more than two minutes at a ti |
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Another thing the adverts for mobile dongles don't mention is their propensity to behave like newbie subs: all urgency and enthusiasm for at first, but no staying power.
I've used up the entire month's allowance in a week! So now I've had to switch back to the phone until the application for a fixed line broadband is processed.
Stand by for complaints about O2 and plus.net...
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One thing that the adverts don't mention about mobile broadband dongles is their wonderful capacity for engendering nostalgia.
It's like being back on 1990's bloody dial-up again :(
Thank you 3!! |
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Now in Manchester, and it looks as if I may have a reliable Internet connection too :) |
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Will soon be leaving the beautiful county of Yorkshire and moving to ?
(It's not a quiz, I don't know either.) |
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It's great when one's skills are put to good use. A higher degree in computer science was obviously necessary to know just where to kick the box to make it boot up. |
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Oh God, they're coming from all parts of the US now.
And in amongst them, a rather confused male submissive from Walsall? |
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SweetTemperance has gone, has deleted her profile. Dear Lisbeth, if you happen to be back browsing here, please get in touch, you have lots of friends who would like to hear from you.
XX |
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Oh Great! Deleted about 20 profile views from Californian surfer babes and now they're coming at me from Missouri.
Surf's not so good there, I believe. |
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Uh-oh! The Californian babes are back. Bet they'll be gone again in a day or so. |
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Oh dear! All the sexy little girlies who were so interested in my profile yesterday seem to have vanished from the site.
How sad.
And how sadly predictable.
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If I could work out why I have suddenly seem to have become attractive to hordes of 20-something nymphettes, and then bottle it, I could afford to buy a few subs of my own and retire to a remote highland castle. |
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You know, much as it is oft denied, there are actually some intelligent and articulate people on this site. |
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What in the name of all that's holy could a blonde 24-year old nymphette in California find interesting in my profile?
Quite flattering, though :) |
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I'm feeling very sad today because of a loss suffered by a good friend. I hope she heals soon. |
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If it's Dom/Domme, why isn't it sub/subbe? |
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Capitals! Capitals!
You're trying to portray yourself as a Mistress of dire dread and you can't even control your own language? Pathetic, just pitiful.
God, that Labour government has a lot to answer for in education standards. |
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Apostrophes, for goodness' sake! Apostrophes!
Why is it so difficult for people who are trying to impress strangers in a few lines of text to write in proper English?
Kids today, eh?
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Just for the avoidance of doubt, I am NOT interested in going abroad to assist in the training of slaves for export.
I hope that is clear. |
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Reviewed my profile - too long, too pretentious.
Now it's shorter, but still too long and too pretentious.
I'll come back in a couple of week and prune it again. |
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Isn't it incredible the narcissism that this activity engenders? I only created my new profile less than half an hour ago, but already I've checked five times to see who's been viewing it! |
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