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About ZeaN
)O(
I am imagining I might best begin introducing myself by providing a little context. This fetish scene is a new thing to me, though many of the elements are things I have been exploring for much or even the entirety of this life of mine, and the spirit within me which manifests these elements has been with me throughout my eternity in this realm. So, while culturally I am just beginning to get my feet wet, spiritually this experience of culture is just a progression of the same path I've always walked. That is to say, my draw to this culture is one of the spirit, my perception of intimate exchanges of energy is one of magick, and I perceive any form of sexual magick as a sacred thing to be treated with reverence.
My OS X dictionary defines 'fetish' as such:
fetish | ˈfeti sh | noun: an inanimate object worshiped for its supposed magical powers or because it is considered to be inhabited by a spirit.
Perhaps I might adjust this definition to read something along the lines of:
fetish | ˈfeti sh | noun: an experience of worship embodying magickal potential or being inspired by a spirit.
I am transgender in that though my body is male, I perceive myself as a being both male and female. I have only recently come to understand my nature as being transgender, and I'm still experiencing a lot of exploration within this facet of my soul. So, while at times I can be quite masculine, I can also often be quite feminine, whether in terms of my demeanor or the manner in which I express myself intimately. I have been on estrogen and progesterone for the past four months, experiencing four full menstrual cycles. I've recently halted the hormones, either to take a break or to remain where I am in terms of my physical transition. I'm not quite certain yet as I'm still feeling things out. What I am certain about is that I'm quite happy with my physique at the moment, and so I'm hesitant to attempt to alter it any further.
I'm healthy, athletically fit & disease free. I am a medically licensed cannabis user, but it is the only thing I smoke (or vaporize, as is my preference), and I generally do not smoke more than a moderate amount. I don't drink or make use of any other drugs, though I don't make judgments of those who do so in a responsible manner. I am more than willing to cease my cannabis use for my partner, given an assumed potential for a long term relationship. It's something I enjoy the benefits of, but not something I require, so it's easy enough for me to drop for something more fulfilling. <3
My demeanor and the role(s) I assume within a relationship are according to my spiritual perceptions, being a worshiper of our Goddess and perceiving the feminine as divine.
I am a switch in most relationships, feeling comfortable negotiating roles at play time and living life out of role otherwise. I do tend to gravitate toward being submissive in the majority of my interactions, but it depends entirely upon the energy dynamic between us.
I will dedicate myself as a sub (24/7) only to a certain kind of person: one being a witch, or displaying a capacity for having a witching way with things (energy workers, empaths, starchildren, mediums & other sensing souls), and only then if it is evident that my health is safe to be entrusted in such a relationship. My role of submission in this capacity is much more than a desire to submit for purposes of intimacy or fetish. In serving a witch I offer myself entirely: all of my actions, all of my time, all of my possessions, all of my capacity. I will act or even reshape my entire life as my witch directs, for my witch is my guiding Light, acting as a medium between myself and our Goddess, the creative source, or void, from which all is born. It might be said that the extent of my commitment is as being of religious fervor.
In a submissive relationship, I feel comfortable assuming a dominant role if it is what I have been directed to do, say for a period of time or a scene. I can also feel quite comfortable playing in a dedicated role of Mistress/Master, providing the demeanor of my lover and the dynamic between us is well suited to such a relationship.
I'm currently single and seeking a witch to claim me as her familiar.
I am open to and enjoy many forms of intimacy, but I always draw the line at anything involving harm. I seek to create and experience pleasure through intimate expression. So, while momentary pain is delightful, if it is evidently causing harm to my body, it's not something I'll want to be subjected to. I don't play with those who do not use safe-words. I enjoy romance, variety, fetish, foreplay, role-play, after-play and and anything safe that might spice up an intimate experience.
I'm currently living in Chico, which I find, for the most part, to be a less than ideal cultural match to my personality. I'm hoping to move toward the Bay Area eventually, though I'm as likely to end back in Southern California, as that's where I have the strongest sense of community, or possibly Houston, as I have some family there. Regardless, as I'm seeking a long term relationship to settle down into, and when I find that person, I'm more than willing to derail my plans to make things work.
I'm something of a cross between an old school raver, a goth that grew up on industrial music, a nature hippie that loves to hike where there are trees and running water, an information technologies geek/h4xx0r, and a family wo/man that looks forward to having children of her own.
Blessed be.
)O( |
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