|
Just realized it's been over a year since I've posted anything in this journal. So here's a quick late night drive by entry.
Went and saw Rasputina and Gary Numan earlier tonight. DJ Chris Ewen was spinning. Sigh. I miss Manray. That is all. |
| |
| |
|
|
Just got back from Book Expo America. Had lots of fun. On the upside I shared a room with two kinky/poly women. On the downside I felt like the odd girl out because they both have Masters. Oh well. Maybe someday. It was still a nice time though. |
| |
| |
|
|
Just a silly update. I am currently obsessed with True Blood and Twilight. I love vampires, what can I say? So in that vein (haha) I've been writing smutty Twilight fanfic. If anyone wants to read it let me know. |
| |
| |
|
|
I hope you all voted today. :) |
| |
| |
|
|
Fyi, I have a profile on now. |
| |
| |
|
|
I seriously do not understand how the photos on here work. Help? |
| |
| |
|
|
Still waiting for my stupid photos...taps feet. Anyway, I'm doing a blood play demo on Friday night for WMPE. Check it out if you can. :) |
| |
| |
|
|
I think I figured out the photo problem.
"Secondary photos are not visible until the primary photo is approved."
I recently downloaded a new photo so I think that's why the others disappeared. |
| |
| |
|
|
Where the hell are my photos?
And I'm single now, fyi. |
| |
| |
|
|
So I got a rejection for my story submission to Best Women's Erotica but it was a very nice personalized rejection in which she asked me to submit a story for the next one and said that she was looking forward to working with me in the future. So I'll happily take that kind of rejection.
This weekend I went to an event called TNE in New Jersey. Much fun was had including leading a girl around on a leash attached to her hair and making out with her. I could have played with her but it was a very busy weekend with all of our rooms being shared with other people which would have made the logistics a bit difficult.
The event also made me a bit heartsick for the lack of play in my life. At one point I went to a play party for a bit and watched a couple of interesting scenes which made me yearn for one of my own. My boyfriend and I do a lot of light play but not the kind of in depth scene I am craving.
The first couple were mucho serious and boy is he a lucky man. His girl was beautiful and obviously had a high pain tolerance and was devoted to him. She had a silver O ring on her left ankle which was obviously a permanent fixture. He beat her a lot and bit her a lot but the best part was the knife play.
Then another couple came in, a Daddy/girl couple. Also a beautiful woman. The girl had a broken left foot and it was somehwat indicated that the injury was caused by some rough play which led me to some interesting thoughts I'll get into later.
Anyway, their scene was focused on tickling or the lack there of. Seems like his girl HATES tickling so he would beat her using his hands including punching her. Basically he played her like a set of drums which was quite interesting and did a lot of humiliation like making her make animal noises and berating her for not letting him tickle her.
She quite loved it and spent a lot of time laughing but then when he would make to tickle her she would freak out and start crying. All he wanted was to tickle her for a count of ten and he even asked the other Dom to help hold her arms down but she was fucking strong and nearly threw him over her head. In the end her Daddy got in a bit of tickling which seemed like the worst kind of torture for her and they ended up on the floor with her crying and him holding her and a cute little kitty wrapping her in a blanket and petting her.
Then the other Dom got the idea that they should send the two girls down the hallway to fetch ice and soda for them without using their hands. So the one Dom bound his girl's hands with black rope and put a bra on her so we wouldn't get into too much trouble and the Daddy instructed his girl that she simply wasn't allowed to use her hands.
He then placed one dollar bills in various places around her body and sent them on their way. We all followed and it was very amusing to watch them in their task which they did eventually succeed in and we still got in trouble anyway but it was worth it.
So yeah, lots of fun but it still also made me envious. And no, that's not a plea for some asshole to tell me he can do that for me. You need to earn my subserviance and fit into my "rules". |
| |
| |
|
|
Not much new to report. Still with my boyfriend. Not with the girl anymore. :( Went to a sex toy party Friday night and ordered my first Rabbit vibrator and an under the bed restrain system. Still need a new crop. In other news I sent a story to the Best Women's Erotica 2008 so wish me luck! |
| |
| |
|
|
It's been awhile again. I'm still with my boyfriend and last night I kissed a really beautiful girl. :) But something is missing. Technically speaking my boyrfriend has an alpha personality and he is good at certain Dom type things but there are certain things I enjoy that he is not willing/able to do. So I am once again opening up to the idea of playing with a man so long as he understands that my boyfriend will always be my main man and come first and foremost. All of the same rules as before apply. You must be within my age range. You must be intelligent and actually read my profile. You must be clean and disease and drug free and if you are married or have a girlfriend you must be poly and not cheating in any way, shape or form. And yes, I am still looking for a Top but I am not looking to be owned. I am my own person and prefer to keep it that way.
Anyway, consider the topic on the table for discussion. I'm not saying I will do anything but I'll consider it with my boyfriend's approval. |
| |
| |
|
|
I haven't been on here as much lately for various reasons.
It should be noted that I have a boyfriend so I am only looking to play with women right now.
Also I am definately in a sub mindset lately.
Now for something fun:
Ten kinky type things I'd like to try and/or experience more of:
1. Knife/needle play. I've had a lot of experience being the giver of these things but not the receiver. I would very much like to be someones pin cushion.
2. A rape scene. Not original I know but I do like things rough.
3. Sensory deprivation non-sexual. I'm very curious to see how I would feel bound, blind folded etc. and left somewhere for an hour or so with nothing but my thoughts.
4. Wax play. I've done it before, just not for awhile.
5. Pony play as in being the pony or a kitten and puppy play with me as the top.
6. Non-sexual D/s. As I explore more of my bottom side I think I would really enjoy/benefit from a more 24/7 lifestyle with the right person. Since my breakdown last year I have come to the realization that I am not very good at providing structure for myself. I very much enjoy being given tasks and being told what to do (within reason of course) and I also feel a lot of pride in pleasing someone I care for.
7. I want to be collared at least once in my life.
8. More experience with water sports. I know you guys will probably think that's gross but oh well.
9. More experience with canes as both a top and a bottom.
10. I would like to spend a whole weekend in complete service to someone. To really immerse myself in the lifestyle for an extended period of time and see how it makes me feel.
So there you have it in no particular order. Hey, a girl can dream. |
| |
| |
|
|
It has just occured to me that I have not posted my Arisia schedule for this coming weekend in Boston. So here goes...
Saturday noon: The best science fiction you never heard of
Saturday 10pm: Vampire literature of the 20th centure
Saturday 11pm: Is your kink okay?
Sunday 10am: Depression and creativity workshop
Sunday 7pm: What am I? a fan? a geek? a nerd?
Sunday 10pm: Scening and catharsis
Monday 1pm: A reading of my work
Hope to see you there! |
| |
| |
|
|
I have kindly been invited by the western MA TNG to do a demo at a play party to be held on February 23rd in Tolland CT. I'm not sure yet what I am going to do though if my scening and catharsis panel at Arisia goes over well I may do that.
What would YOU like to see?
Also as I think most of you know by now I do not have a car. Sooo...would anyone want to give me a ride out there? I would give you gas money and be your companion for the evening. However I would prefer to know you or know someone who knows you or meet beforehand so I know you aren't creepy in a bad way.
Thanks and I hope to see you there! |
| |
| |
|
|
Sooo...I realize this is opening a whole can of worms but...my birthday is coming up and I would like spankings. But as I'm sure you all know by now I am picky. I won't let just anyone spank me. You can be male or female but you must be someone I like as a person. Someone I either already know or who would be willing to meet for coffee before diving right into any kind of play. And I am not a skinny bitch. I have an ample ass. So if you are looking for Kate Moss go looking elsewhere. |
| |
| |
|
|
X-posted on Bcom.
Who here is going to the Fetish Flea?
Also I'd like some feedback/opinions for some panels I'm going to be doing. Please, intelligent mature responses only! First off I'm doing a panel about kinks that are considered extreme or unusual amongst the kink community.
And second I'm doing a panel on scening and catharsis. So for example, what would your thoughts be on a real life rape victim engaging in rape play?
Thanks! |
| |
| |
|
|
I will be at Labyrinth in New Jersey this weekend doing readings of my work. |
| |
| |
|
|
I AM SO DOMINANT THAT I MUST TYPE IN ALL CAPS.
Haha, sorry guys, this really isn't directed at one particular person. Just something I see a lot that cracks me up. |
| |
| |
|
|
A friend of mine on LJ wrote this to me today:
"no normal human will ever have the chance to satisfy you!"
Lol, sad but true. Guess that means you guys will just have to try harder huh? ;) |
| |
| |
|
|
Needy people need not apply. |
| |
| |
|
|
Heh. It was pointed out to me recently that even though I claim to be interested in exploring my subby side it's my Dominant side that writes this journal.
I just found that amusing. |
| |
| |
|
|
I've been very quiet on here lately and I don't really have one good reason for it. Partly I've been busy. Partly I ended up creating a BDSM filter on my Livejournal so if you are on there drop me a line and I'll add you. I've also taken to writing full-time and some other personal stuff.
Anyway, point being, if you have contacted me and I don't write back to you right away, don't take it personally. It just means I've been busy.
I do hope this message finds you all well. |
| |
| |
|
|
Another note to self: at some point also write about depression, scening and catharsis. |
| |
| |
|
|
Note to self: When I have more time I want to write a small essay about the correlations between s/m, vampirism, torture porn and victimology. |
| |
| |
|
|
Does being a Dom mean you have to be a self-centered, name dropping, egotistical *sshole?
Or is that just something peculiar to the internet? |
| |
| |
|
|
Well my play partner for the weekend cancelled on me. What a surprise. |
| |
| |
|
|
I have written my first erotica story. I say that meaning a story with the intention of being erotic. All my stories no matter how scary always have an element of sex in them but in this story the sex is more the focus. I'm willing to share the story but only with people I know. Send me your e-mail and I'll pass it along to you. |
| |
| |
|
|
Why?! Why god why are we always portrayed as crazy serial killers?!!!
I am so tired of it. |
| |
| |
|
|
If you are reading this right now turn on yout tv and put on The Closer on TNT. They are doing a storyline that involves BDSM. |
| |
| |
|
|
Yay! I think I might have found a play partner for the weekend! Of course depending on chemistry in person... |
| |
| |
|
|
Last night I finished reading Kushiel's Justice. Anyone else hear read it? |
| |
| |
|
|
So I haven't made a post in awhile...I guess I haven't thought of anything interesting to write.
However fyi, I have a convention appearance coming up this weekend in which I will be on BDSM demo panel and a panel on polyamory.
So if you want details drop me a line...it would be fun to have a play partner there. ;) |
| |
| |
|
|
"just because i have a huge penis does not mean I dont pay close attention to detail. details are just what sets me apart from everyone else."
god, you people make me laugh. :) |
| |
| |
|
|
Oh, and my cell phone is working again fyi. |
| |
| |
|
|
"yes zana - proper masturbation requires a lot of attention to detail "
Hahaha! Someone just wrote this to me. I think they were trying to insult me. This coming from someone with the word penis in their profile. Guess some people only think with their little head.
I make no apologies. I am picky for a reason and I'm not in any rush. If the details of my profile cause me to need to masturbate because of a lack of lovers so be it. I have no problem masturbating. Technically speaking I can get myself off better than any of you can. |
| |
| |
|
|
Fyi, for anyone who has my cell phone number the battery seems to have died. |
| |
| |
|
|
Another clarification:
Someone asked me last night how I decide to respond to which messages and when. I fee it deserves an answer.
There are MANY factors. It's almost easier to say what I won't respond to. But first the obvious...I might be busy, my Dad did just pass away and not everything is squared away yet and if I know you I may want to take the time to write a longer response and time is not always easy to come by.
Now, surefire ways for me NOT to respond...if you obviously did not read my profile and/or chose to disregard my limits, if you can't spell, if I am simply not attracted to you or if you are vulgar or rude in any way. |
| |
| |
|
|
Haha, I'm talking to a beautiful girl and you're not. Well maybe you are...but so am I. :) |
| |
| |
|
|
Hm, I haven't done any creative writing in awhile and since I am a glutton for punishment maybe I'll write some erotica tonight. |
| |
| |
|
|
Not that this is news but there are some weird people in this world. |
| |
| |
|
|
Sigh...I miss wearing a collar. |
| |
| |
|
|
I was just asked why I thought Wolverine would make a good Dom.
It is entirely for silly personal reasons. One, I think he is sexy as all hell. He's very aggressive and animalistic and has a good body/style. But the real kicker for me are his blades. Being a sucker for knife play I just think it would so sexy to be with someone who had blades as a part of their genetic makeup, able to command them at will. And since he heals well I could fight back without worrying about hurting him too much. |
| |
| |
|
|
I know I've said this before too, but RELAX people. Do you have any idea how many messages I get? For pete's sake... |
| |
| |
|
|
To clarify...because someone expressed concern...I have never NOT used safe words. I was merely talking about my conversations with the few people I've met who don't use them. |
| |
| |
|
|
Question of the day:
Safe word vs. no safe word?
I have been in the scene for over ten years and during that time I have occasionally, and I mean very occasionally run into Doms who insist on NOT using safe words. I mention it now because I just saw a profile that said that. In one sense I actually do kind of understand it. In the sense of complete control it makes sense.
However the practical side of me can't help but think how completely irresponsible it is. We are for better or worse playing a dangerous game with real physical dangers. In my opinion a safeword is there to guard against those dangers, to let my Dom know that something doesn't feel right or is out and out hurting in a very wrong way.
Anyway, that's my two cents on that. Thoughts? Comments? |
| |
| |
|
|
Today's thought of the day:
Real vs. Fake
I have heard more than once Doms on here commenting that the other Doms are fakes and they are the only real deal. Now of course this is all subjective and in a manner it's just a way of parading themselves and/or deflecting rejection but at the same time I think it raises some interesting questions.
What makes a "real" Dom real and a "fake" Dom fake? For me a fake on this site could constitute a couple of things...someone merely trolling for sex, someone who misrepresents themselves(ie, men posing as women), etc. And for me a real Dom would be someone with actual experience who believed this to be something more than just sexual. But that is just me.
When people write to me about them being real and everyone else being fake I am curious what that means for them. For example, most recently, I had a Dom write to me expressing interest in me but there was no photo in his profile or attached to his message. Now I think I have made it quite clear that I won't talk to people without pics. But as a courtesy I wrote back to him and asked for a pic. His response was "picture? Too bad you can't tell the difference between a real Dom and a fake one..."
Huh? Anyway, I ask for a pic for a few reasons. Yes, partly it is for determining the possibility of physical attraction but it's also for reasons of sincerity and respect. If you have a pic on your profile it shows me that you are proud of who you are and less likely to be "discreet". I have no interest in being discreet. And if you send me a pic of yourself it shows me that you took the time to actually read my profile. If you won't take a moment to actually read my profile why should I bother with you?
K, that's my rant of the day. |
| |
| |
|
|
I am such a geek. :) This thought just ran through my head..."Wolverine would make a good Dom"! |
| |
| |
|
|
Question of the day...inspired by a message sent to me.
How do Christianity and BDSM mesh? To me they seem like a contradiction yet I know there are Christians on this site. How does that work?
Thoughts? Comments? |
| |
| |
|
|
You know what I hate even more?
My period. Ugh. And this heat. |
| |
| |
|
|
You know, I hate it when people act like they are into me and then just totally blow me off. What's up with that? Please, if we already have a dialogue going, have exchanged phone numbers and/or have actually been on a date, don't just completely blow me off. Have the balls to tell me you aren't interested.
Thanks. |
| |
| |
|
|
Earth to Morons: No picture, No talkie!!!
She says for the second time... |
| |
| |
|
|
This is another long shot but...would anyone here want to take me to see Tori Amos? :) |
| |
| |
|
|
Interesting...I seem to have reached this age bracket where I am suddenly the "sexy older woman". Except I don't really consider myself older. But I've had all these young guys hitting on me lately and it amuses me.
In other news I'm horny as hell. Probably because my period is coming. Yes, I said it AGAIN. Period, period, period. :) |
| |
| |
|
|
This has nothing to do with BDSM but...there is free Shakespeare on Boston Common all this week. Anyone want to go with me? |
| |
| |
|
|
How many times do I have to say it? If you are married or otherwise involved and your s/o does not know you are on here trolling for people please DO NOT write to me. I want no part of that. You should be ashamed of yourself. If you can't be yourself with your partner then you shouldn't be with that partner. It isn't fair to either one of you.
Got it? |
| |
| |
|
|
Oh yeah, and I had to take out one of my nipple rings. Tragic I know. :) Something was very very wrong with it and I tried everything I could think of. Salt water, bacitracin and even changing the ring but nothing worked. Maybe someday I'll get it pierced again. |
| |
| |
|
|
I have shiny new internet. :) |
| |
| |
|
|
Wow, I am REALLY digging the new Tori Amos album. |
| |
| |
|
|
A few things in no particular order of importance...
First off, thank you to the people who have complimented me on my blog.
Secondly, though I do appreciate it when people thoroughly read my profile please be aware that I set my rules for a reason and almost NEVER vary from them. So don't try to talk me into it or anything. If my rules don't jive with you that's fine. We just won't be able to play together.
And last, I finished Nine and a half Weeks last night. SPOILER ALERT! Seriously has anyone else here read it? What did you think of the ending? I was kind of disappointed but perhaps I am just not knowledgable enough on the subject? I have never really had an interest in a 24/7 relationship from either dynamic so from the get go I can't entirely relate. But I was surprised that she had a mental breakdown from which she never entirely recovered. So I guess I'm curious. Is this common? Or an exception? |
| |
| |
|
|
Yikes. I love animals, but not like THAT!
If you contact me regarding bestiality or sex with minors I WILL report you.
Maybe that makes me a prude but I am just not that kinky.
Consent is a must. |
| |
| |
|
|
Warning: This may be a long rambly post and will likely contain spoilers from Nine and a half Weeks.
Beautiful day despite my still feeling a bit under the weather. Not as bad as yesterday though. Just finished eating a cheddar and chive omelet(chives from the garden). There truly is something special about growing your own food.
I'm not so sure about the party on Saturday now because I realized that she wants people to pay to get in. In theory I understand this however I just dished out a copious amount of money for my trip and will yet have more to dish out for the actual funeral. It may end up being a quiet weekend afterall.
So...I read a fair amount of Nine and a half Weeks last night. I feel ashamed that I didn't even know it was a book until last year. And more ashamed that I didn't make more of an effort to track it down sooner. But I guess everything happens when it is supposed to. I mean is it really a coincidence that I found it on my trip to New Mexico? Maybe, maybe not.
I say ashamed because I pride myself on being fluent in what I consider to be classic BDSM literature. The Story of O, Anne Rice's Beauty series, the works of the Marquis de Sade and of course the Gor series amongst others. And yet I had never heard of this novel until recently. Of course I've seen the movie but that was awhile ago so I don't honestly remember much.
Anyway, so far it is in my opinion true BDSM literature in the best sense of the term. As I think most of my readers have gathered by now I am more affected by subtlety than in your face tactics. This goes for both erotica and horror of which I am a fan of both. I would much rather watch a good ghost story than a gorefest. The same goes for things of a sexual nature. Not to say I have never watched porn, of course I have. But for the most part I prefer things of a more intellectual nature.
So far in this book not one sex scene has been described. We know that they are having sex but it's not the point of the book. The point is their relationship and the BDSM dynamic.
Here come the spoilers...when they first meet it's at a street fair in NYC. She is debating going back and buying a scarf she saw earlier and he overhears her. He then instructs her that she should go back and buy the scarf and though she is at first put off by this stranger she ends up acceding and their affair begins.
That is of course the most subtle of examples but here are two more obvious ones...at one point they go shopping for a bed together in Bloomingdales. A bed with the type of headboard that she could be tied to. In the middle of the department store in front of the sales clerk he instructs her to lie down on the bed and put her arms back and spread her legs. He does this partly for practical reasons(to make sure she fits) and partly to humiliate her. Of course she is hesitant to do it and he has to give the order more than once but she does it and it does turn her on while humiliating her.
In another scene he takes her to a tack shop of which she pays no mind at first thinking it a boring day of man shopping. She sits down on a chair and flips through a magazine much the way a man would if we were to take him clothes shopping. Before she can react he comes over with a riding crop hikes up her skirt and gives her a good whack on the thigh right in front of the sales clerk. Once again filling her with desire, humiliation and dread at what the evening will bring.
THAT is what I am talking about people! That is what I want. I could have sex almost every night of the week if I wanted to. But I don't want that. I want someone to push my limits mentally. To turn me on without even touching me. I want to respect someone enough to WANT to humiliate myself for them. Etc etc etc.
You should all read this book. :) |
| |
| |
|
|
Just opened the bottle of wine I got from New Mexico...thinking of M. :)
Read some of Nine and a half Weeks earlier today. Enjoying it despite it being rather dated having been written in the 70's.
I think I may have found someone to take me to the play party on Saturday though of course it will partly depend on whether or not we have chemistry in person. I will say I like the way his mind works. :) Always a big plus in my book.
Other than that not much new. I seem to have come down with a cold which will hopefully be gone by the weekend. I am still waiting for the death certificates to come.
I made potato salad earlier(not the mayo kind, but one with olive oil and herbs from the garden). And I am broiling a rather expensive steak at the moment. I do believe in treating oneself once in awhile and after the last week I need it. |
| |
| |
|
|
Does happy dance...M just wrote to me...:) |
| |
| |
|
|
Also this week I picked up the book "Nine and a half Weeks". I didn't even know the movie was based on a book until recently. Anyone else here read it? |
| |
| |
|
|
Play party this Saturday.
Who wants to take me? Serious inquiries only and I will be VERY selective in my choosing. The party is also a birthday party being hosted by a well known Domme in the Boston area so good behavior is a requirement. Looking to have a top take me, male or female or a couple. |
| |
| |
|
|
In regards to my lover in New Mexico...I met him the second to last day that I was there. Both a good thing and a bad thing. A bad thing because I would have liked to spend more time with him but practically speaking probably a good thing because if I had met him at the beginning of the week I more than likely would have spent every night with him instead of doing the things I needed to be doing.
I am not going to spell out all the details of our meeting, just the ones that seem important/pertinent to this site. The first night we went out we went to the nearby lake and made love on a courtesy boat. It should have been in a houseboat but the courtesy boat broke down. Personally I didn't care. The moon was out shining over the lake, you could hear crickets and bids and fish in the background and the temperature was perfect. And I admit a certain amont of excitement was added by the fact that it's likely people could see us.
For the record as I think most of you know by now I am not in the habit of jumping into bed with people but in this paricular case I did not have time for any sort of courtship and I also honestly just had a good feeling about him.
Anyway, the second night we went back to his place. We had sex by candlelight while listening to Marylin Manson. Near perfect in my opinion. He is an extremely skilled lover who was more than happy to oblige my particular tastes despite the fact of us having just met and his inexperience with BDSM. He bit me and scratched me and pulled my hair and even gave me a few good spanks.
The highlight though was him peeing on me. It's something neither one one if us had ever done before but I had always wanted to experience it. Thankfully he was very clean. :) He also went down on me at one point with an ice cube in his mouth which was quite an interesting sensation.
And lest I make this seem like it's all about sex...it wasn't. There was something very special about him.
M, if you happen to read this, thank you. I will never ever forget you. |
| |
| |
|
|
So I am back from New Mexico now. To clarify, it was my Father that passed away. I spent the last week in New Mexico taking care of his affairs. But this site is not really the place to write about it.
However I did meet someone while there. Actually I met alot of people there. I got hit on left and right. But I chose one person to take as a lover. I realize this may sound strange considering the circumstances of which I was there but I firmly believe that sex can be a healing experience.
More later... |
| |
| |
|
|
And another thing...if I go out on a date with you and we make plans for a second date, DON'T JUST FUCKING BLOW ME OFF!! If you aren't interested or can't go for some reason then just fucking tell me.
This is exactly why I won't sleep with someone on the first date. |
| |
| |
|
|
I am not going to be very active on here for the next few days due to a death in the family. If you need to get in touch with me then please either call me or use my private e-mail. Thank you. |
| |
| |
|
|
Today I had a good date with someone from on here. :) And my hair is red again. And I'm REALLY hungry right now... |
| |
| |
|
|
Wow, that sucks. The one woman on here that I was REALLY interested in seems to have deleted her profile. Figures. |
| |
| |
|
|
Another wow. So about a week ago I met a friend of a friend and apparently this person thinks I looked "frumpy". This is not a word I have EVER heard used to describe me. I should probably take into account that the person who said this in my opinion looked like a whore but I admit it still got to me and has made me think about my apprearance.
I have never been one to dress up for everyday stuff. I am not a hardbody nor a toothpick and probably never will be. And as readers here know I recently changed my hair though I admit to not being thrilled with it.
Still, I didn't think I was frumpy.
Anyway in other news I am in need of two dominant women for the event I wrote about earlier. And sorry ladies it is not a paying position but you will have the privilege of being at one of the year's hottest events and you get to humiliate people. You must also concede to accept me as head Mistress meaning that I will be the one with the microphone directing things. And we would prefer ladies of a Gothic nature. This is a serious inquiry however so please contact me if you are interested or know someone who would be. |
| |
| |
|
|
Okay scratch that, my date for tonight cancelled. Figures. Though I suppose it may be a blessing in disguise seeing as I still have a lot to do.
Anyway I have been extended the option of taking someone with me this weekend to Foxwoods so if anyone wants to go with me, anyone I like that is, then please get in touch with me asap! |
| |
| |
|
|
Wow tomorrow is going to be a busy fucking day. I have a meeting in the afternoon with the person running the event I mentioned earlier and a date tomorrow night with someone from on here and on top of that I have to pack and run errands because I am going away this weekend! Phew.
Also another clarification on ideas for the event...it has to be something I can reasonably and easily do. Rope suspension was suggested but alas it is not a skill of mine. Most of my skills involve bloodletting ;) which I can't do at this event. I did come up with an idea though along the lines of the games held in the Beauty series. We'll see... |
| |
| |
|
|
Another clarification...
On aggression vs. assertive:
Once again, I was speaking more in terms of personality as opposed to in the bedroom. Violence in the bedroom is quite a welcome thing for me but an ass hole out of the bedroom is not.
Over the years I have corresponded with some very "interesting" men via the internet. Men who have immediately tried to control me through such means as telling me to do things like stop getting tattoos or piercings because they don't like them or telling me how much I'll love sucking their cock which I find very presumptious. To me that is aggressive.
Assertive to me is someone who is capable of making decisions, someone who isn't wishy washy about things. Yes, by all means go ahead and declare your interest in me, make me yours if you can but don't just assume that I'll want you just because you are male or dominant or well hung. I could give a crap.
Show me that you have a brain and can use it and that you respect mine and I am more likely to fall at your feet. |
| |
| |
|
|
An open question to anyone who reads this...
I am going to be participating in an event later this year which shall for the moment remain nameless. I need ideas. The person running this event wants me to be in charge of the fetish aspects of it except the drawback is that since it's in Massachusetts I can't actually beat anyone. And I hate faking it. In fact I refuse to fake it. So I need to come up with BDSM related things in which to engage the audience with that won't break any laws.
Any ideas? |
| |
| |
|
|
Maybe an online Master wouldn't be such a bad thing after all. Of course my idea and your idea are probably vastly different. I'm thinking more along the lines of Secretary as opposed to a mindless internet sex slave. I do function better when I have direction... |
| |
| |
|
|
HAHAHA!!!! I just heard about this from a friend on here...
If there is anyone out there who wants to financially humiliate themselves by giving me money then please contact me! I could sure use it. And NO I will not have sex with you if you give me money. If you are lucky I'll maybe say hi to you... |
| |
| |
|
|
I picked up Kushiel's Justice today. Yes I am a masochist.
And someone on here chided me for saying that I wanted to get laid, lol. Like I've said before...it is my journal. And I believe in being honest. And I need to complain somewhere about it! |
| |
| |
|
|
An expansion on what I said earlier about submissive men...and this is not a criticism to the person who responded to that post, merely an expansion.
What I actually meant was submissive in personality, not the bedroom which obviously can go hand in hand. I have no problem doing to a guy what he wants me to do to him(isn't that part of the fun of being the sub?) as long as it doesn't involve chickens or tubs of jello. I do have a problem with men who are so characteristically submissive that they need me to detail every exact little thing in life for them.
When I first wrote about this I was actually thinking of a friend of mine though it does apply to some people on here. And as I said previously part of my agitation may in fact be due to me desiring a dominant male at this point in my life.
I just can't seem to respect and therefore be attracted to a man at this point in my life who to me seems to have no spine, no cahunas. Right now I need/want a man who can take charge. Someone who can be assertive without being aggressive, someone who can match my intensity and challenge me both physically and mentally. |
| |
| |
|
|
I hate the rain. Actually I love the rain, I just hate not having a lover when it's raining out.
I need to get laid. I haven't had sex since April and that is just wrong. But that's not an invitation either. I am very open but I don't sleep with just anyone. You need to spark me intellectually as well as physically. |
| |
| |
|
|
I think I am coming to the conclusion that submissive men annoy me. At least at this point in my life. |
| |
| |
|
|
I finished reading Kushiel's Scion today. Good stuff. Now to move on to Kushiel's Justice... |
| |
| |
|
|
Just an fyi...I am not a toothpick and yes my pics are recent(within the last year).
That being said, I am not fat either. And I am very pretty and very good in bed.
But if you decide to meet me just please be aware that I am not a toothpick. Thanks. |
| |
| |
|
|
| |
| |
|
|
Wow, I spent 3 hours on the phone last night with someone from on here. It was really nice for a change.
And I think I'm going to go back to being a redhead. I'm really not feeling this strawberry blonde thing. |
| |
| |
|
|
OMG people, my fucking journal!!! If you don't like what I write in it don't read it. Yes, I have my period. Period, period, period. If I had a digital camera I'd post a picture of it. It's a normal human function and if it grosses you out for some reason then that's fine but don't tell me I shouldn't post about it.
I have a c*nt. And it bleeds. And it hurts when it bleeds. So yeah, I'm going to complain about it if I want to.
And while I'm on the subject, my profile is my profile. I don't want to waste my time or anyone else's so again, if you think the info on it is harsh, so be it. Move on.
And last but not least, if I give you my phone number and you call three times in one day and call at midnight that is almost a surefire way to get me to not talk to you. One phone message is plenty and it's appreciated if it's made within "normal" hours. Yes, I am a nightowl however I do not like receiving phone calls late at night. To me that should be common sense.
Okay, rant done for now I think. |
| |
| |
|
|
Just an fyi, I am no longer a redhead. It's kind of strawberry blonde now. |
| |
| |
|
|
Interesting...I seem to have lost one of my journal readers. Honestly not sure who though because I wasn't seriously keeping track but there is definately one less than there was before. Just makes me wonder why. |
| |
| |
|
|
Grumble grumble, livejournal not working and I started my period, grumble grumble. |
| |
| |
|
|
I am genuinely curious on both a specific and general level...what makes you NOT write back to someone on here?
Specifically speaking, if you have not written back to me I am curious as to why.
Generally speaking I am curious what makes "you" not write back to someone. Question open to anyone.
For myself it can be several factors. Sometimes just genuinely busy. Sometimes your locale. If you are far away there is less of a chance I'll talk to you since I am not interested in online relationships. Sometimes it might be because I am physically not attracted to you. Sometimes you simply don't meet my criteria. And sometimes you are just plain rude or vulgar. But generally speaking if someone writes me an intelligent sincere message I will write back.
I am curious about this for specific reasons. One was mentioned way at the beginning of this journal in which I mentioned I had sent a message to a certain person on here and they never bothered to write back. But also since that time I have been conversing with two other individuals in particular who seemed to have a genuine interest in me and they simply stopped writing to me without any explanation.
I know I am not perfect. Far from it. I certainly have my times of being terrible at communicating with people. But I am curious... |
| |
| |
|
|
OMG people, relax! Chances are if I complain about something on here I am not just talking about "you". I am not that passive aggressive. I get tons of e-mail on here. So usually by the time I post a journal entry complaint it is because SEVERAL people have pissed me off or annoyed me or misunderstood me.
The world does not revolve around "you". |
| |
| |
|
|
Maybe I didn't make it clear enough in my profile...I am out and proud of all aspects of my life to everyone in my life. That means you be too. I am not interested in a "discreet" relationship. I am not interested in playing with people that are cheating on their s/o's. If you don't know what polyamory is then I am probably not the woman for you.
And last but not least...I am not looking for a one night stand, or even a one weekend stand.
Thank you. |
| |
| |
|
|
Started reading Kushiel's Scion last night. SO GOOD. Where is my Melisande? |
| |
| |
|
|
Wow, some people on here need to learn how to relax. Too bad... |
| |
| |
|
|
| |
| |
|
|
Well the computer seems to be working today...knock on wood...so if anyone wants to chat I'm online now. I think it's a crap shoot from day to day at this point though. |
| |
| |
|
|
Sick Girl was sooo good.
And seriously my computer is dying so if you want me you better snag me IRL real soon. |
| |
| |
|
|
I'm proud of myself. I actually went for a run earlier. Despite the rain. Of course I was the only person crazy enough to run in the rain but oh well.
My computer is acting wonky so if there is anyone who seriously wants to keep in touch with me you might want to try and get my phone number. Or give me yours.
I know I shouldn't stay up late but I got Sick Girl in the mail today from Netflix. How on Earth am I supposed to refuse watching Misty Mundae and Angela Bettis rolling around in the sack? And she plays an entomologist no less!
Sigh...girls and bugs...two of my favorite things. :) |
| |
| |
|
|
So I woke up very early this morning(and no, I'm not a morning person), it was the rain...the rain woke me. Or rather the feelings the rain invokes in me. It is arousing to me. I don't know why. But I feel I should be with someone when it is raining.
Since I couldn't do that I read. I mentioned a couple of posts ago that a friend was sending me some books. One of the books he sent me was Tales from the Woeful Platypus by Caitlin R. Kiernan, a collection of her erotica.
Wow. All I can say is wow. If any of you are fans of Angela Carter at all then you need to read this collection. Simply stunning. |
| |
| |
|
|
I've had a few women checking me out lately. It's been interesting... |
| |
| |
|
|
I think I need a massage. Get your head out of the gutter. I mean an honest to goodness real tension relieving back/neck/shoulder rub. Guess I may have to find a sub afterall or at least a switch. |
| |
| |
|
|
I must be seriously fucked in the head. I was watching Law&Order tonight and the detectives were interviewing a rapist and the rapist was describing one of his rapes and I fucking got turned on! That never used to happen to me. I used to think women who had rape fantasies were weird and now I'm one of them.
I need to get laid. And no, that's not a request or an invite, just an observation.
In other news...I found out a few minutes ago that a friend ordered me a copy of Kushiel's Scion so I can finally finish reading it. Of course it will be torture to read it without a play partner but hopefully sweet torture... |
| |
| |
|
|
Also I am interested in real life encounters, not online relationships. Internet friendship is fine but for play I would rather meet for real. |
| |
| |
|
|
If you are married or otherwise involved I will have no interest in speaking with you unless your partner is aware of your activities. I have no interest in being someone's dirty little secret |
| |
| |
|
|
If I hear the word "cock" one more time I am going to scream. I don't want to hear about your cock or read about it or see it. I frankly don't give a shit about your cock.
And what did I say about trying to control me over the internet without even getting to know me? TURNOFF. Not going to work.
I am not looking for a 24/7 situation.
I am looking for someone creative and intelligent with whom I would want to be friends with IRL. If I don't like you as a human being I am not going to want to fuck you. |
| |
| |
|
|
Wow, shot down! The one person I was really interested in on here didn't even bother to write back to me. Ouch...didn't think my profile was that bad! |
| |
| |
|
|
Brains people! Use em or lose me! I don't care how big your cock is or how buff you are. If you can capture my imagination and stimulate me intellectually you are far more likely to get me out of my clothes!
Just something to think about... |
| |
| |
|
|
| |
