YoursToHave4ever


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	About YoursToHave4ever What am I looking for? NOTHING!

I Will Never Be Left Again...~~~~~~~``

This is truly Poetry......

What should a Good Dominant be? The question can only be answered individually, by both the submissive and the Dominant alike. The Dominant should be in control of Himself first and foremost. He is confident, caring, and understanding. He does not allow His Ego to get in the way of His learning, both about Himself and His submissive. He knows how to love and cherish the Gift she has given to Him.

When the Dominant meets a new submissive, He is kind and guiding, without demanding any ritual from her. He does not Demand her respect, He Earns it. He explores her Mind first! Learning her strengths and weaknesses. He does not seek to Seduce her, but gets to know her as a person First, building a Relationship, and Slowly discovering if there is to be one.

If He is a good Dominant He does not do this to gain a submissive, but because He is able to Befriend someone, without any trappings of Sexuality. He is not a Predator, but instead is a Teacher, ready and willing to pass on His Knowledge, with little or no expectations of a Reward. but instead, for the pleasure and pride of knowing He Can, and for the satisfaction of helping someone define her Own path.

If the time comes, when she Offers herself to His service, the Dominant is the First to question her decision. He is the First to ask her to look inside herself and discover if He is what she really wants and/or needs. He is the First to mention Safety, to volunteer His References, and to tell her to seek More. He insists on Safe calls and Public meetings First. And her safety is Foremost in His mind at this special place in the Beginning of T/their relationship.

If He decides to take her as His submissive, and takes her into His service, He is the First to mention Negotiation, and first to offer His own personal information, before Asking for hers. He fully realizes the Extreme Danger she could be putting herself in, if her Gift was given into the wrong hands. And He seeks to Guide her in protecting herself.

He does not dismiss her Worries or Fears, for He Knows her Risks are All Too Real. He knows His safety also depends on Honesty, on Communication, and on Love. He is at First only as protective of Himself as He Needs to be, being Open and Honest about His Life, Tastes, Feelings, and Exactly what He Expects. He knows that she will be taking a Leap of Faith, by giving her Gift to Him, and is Supportive of her.

To truly Possess her, He knows He must First earn her Respect. To do this, He must Prove He is who and what He says He is, that He Loves and Cares for her. That He would only push her limits to Build her Strengths. That He is ready and willing to Spend the Time to learn her as a person First, only then as a submissive.

He knows how Wonderful the Gift is that she Offers, and is ready and willing to live up to her Trust in Him. To this end, He talks with her, Learning her Secret Needs and Desires, and in turn expressing His Own, always ready to affirm her Worth to Him, and to herself. Increasing her confidence in herself, and in the Gift she gives. Gently pushing her limits, to show her that she can be More than she feels she is. That she can go Farther than she ever thought possible.

He will slowly open the Flower of her submission, coaxing her Passion for Him into Full Bloom. If she lacks self-esteem He Tells and Shows her He Respects her, and finds her Worthy of His time. He shows her she has Beauty in His eyes, thus she is Beautiful. When He focuses on her Weaknesses, it is to show her her own Strength. When He focuses on her Strengths, it is to show her her own Worth. He will Softly explain that the Gift she gives is the Most Wonderful Gift of All, herself.

He takes the Time to learn her Soul, before thinking of learning her Body. As the Dominant learns His new submissive, a Connection takes place allowing Him to sense her Desires, her Needs, her Passions. With this new Knowledge, the Dominant is able to take His submissive to new heights of pleasure. And is able to guide her and walk With her as T/together T/they seek new levels of Love and Fulfillment.

In taking a submissive into His Service the Dominant takes on many Responsibilities. He pledges to help Guide her on her path, not only in the Bedroom, but also in Life. He pledges to be there for her, when she Needs Him. He pledges to Care for her, to ease her Pain, when she is Depressed, to Comfort her when she is Ill. He pledges to assist her in overcoming her Fears and Worries, and to Hold and Love her when she Needs affection. He does this because He can, for this is His Gift to her. As her Gift was given Willingly, so His is returned with Joy.

He seeks to Understand her Mind. To be able to gaze into her Soul. Because only then can the T/two become More than each could Ever be as individuals. Always she is His most Precious Possession. And He strives to prove His love, Much the way she will, Every Day.

The Dominant does not seek to Change His submissive into what He Wants, but instead, revels in the chance to Show her what she can become. He enjoys Showing her those Strengths she already possesses, and Guides her only, helping her to Grow into the person she wants to be. He coaxes her into finding her Own path, but Never states outright what that Path should be. Once found, He will keep her to her task, Gently pushing her to become the Woman He Knows she can be.

Is there a Profile of the perfect Dominant? i think not... Perfection is something W/we A/all strive to obtain, but is Forever out of reach. It is the Struggle to find perfection that is the mark of a Good Dominant. There is not One description of a Good Dominant; Just as Beauty is in the eye of the Beholder, so too is no viewpoint ever Wrong, merely Different.

All that can be said i Believe, is that a Good Dominant should have Good Qualities, which include Strength, Ability, Confidence, Control, the Ability to learn, and the presence of Mind to know that He can Always learn more. He should be Loving, Encouraging, Honorable and Chivalrous. He should Respect and Cherish His submissive, and Show that Respect to Others. He should show others the Respect that He Himself wishes to be shown. The Dominant should be Sure of Himself, and in that Confidence not think that to build Himself, He has to look Down at Others.

He should be Sure of His ideals, but not So Sure, that He thinks His Way is the Only Way. He can allow others to follow their Own paths, no matter how Different, without Ridicule. If He witnesses a Wrong He seeks to Right it, but Without pressing the View that His Way is the Only One, but only to express the Danger of another's action or Offering His Assistance to Help Guide them out of Danger.

He knows the Difference between Punishment and Play, between Pain and Sensation. He never exerts His power in Anger, He never brings Hostility into T/their lives. He does not use this Gift to vent His Anger, but Leaves Outside concerns outside. He knows that to Control Others He must First Master Himself.

He can exercise His Art, to Help His submissive become the Woman she has always been, Deep within her Spirit. He takes her Gift of submission Seriously, knowing that it is not given Blindly or Lightly. He always remembers how Precious her Gift is, and how Rare it is, how Beautiful it is. For she has given Him something that cannot be Taken, but must be Given, the gift of herself, her Soul. And the Dominant should cherish that Gift as the Rare Jewel it is.

The submissive should be Firm in her Femininity. And she must Offer herself to the Dominant Freely, of her Own Choosing. When she gives the Gift of her submission it is in Exchange for His Love, Care, Knowledge and Protection. When she Obeys it is because she Chooses to, not because she is Forced to.

The submissive comes to Him a girl, unsure of her Role in Life, seeking His Guidance. And Quickly learns what is expected of her. With this Learning, and as He opens more of Himself to her, she Continues giving more of herself, of her Soul, her Secrets, until all the T/two can Share is already learned. Building T/their Relationship, sharing T/their Secrets and T/their Souls, so T/they may walk this path T/together.

There is no power Lost, no control Wrested from her, she gives it Willingly, the Dominant giving of Himself until, an immense measure of Trust is built between T/them. The submissive Must trust her Dominant Completely in order to give Him so much of herself, and the Dominant Must Trust the submissive, in order for Him to Accept her and her Gift. "Training" (which Should be just another word for Teaching) is only the Process of learning what the Dominant Desires. The submissive must Learn When to kneel, How to Sit to please her Dominant, How to Address her Dominant, and so on.

When she does Learn these things, it is because she Wishes to, her only wish is to Please her Dominant in All Ways Possible. Even as the Dominant comes to know, just what her Limits are. It is said that the Dominant holds all of the Control, and in some ways He Does. But in this type of relationship, it is Very Important that it be a Consensual relationship. The Dominant holds Control, but only as far as the Submissive is Willing to go. He May push her limits, for the Pleasure of T/them Both. However, the submissive can Walk Away at Any Time, hard as that may Be, if the Dominant loses sight of her Needs.

It is Said that the submissive has No Responsibilities, but a Deeper observation shows otherwise. It has been said by Many, that the Dominant holds All the Responsibilities. However, many of her responsibilities are So Subtle as to be Overlooked, she must Please her Dominant, she must Act, as He would wish, as her Every Action reflects on her Dominant. At All Times she must uphold His Honor, as He must uphold hers, and Protect her. The submissive must have Faith and Trust in her Dominant, Just as He must Prove her Trust well founded.

The submissive needs to Know when her Dominant is acting in her Best Interests, and be Willing, to do as He Asks her within her limits. Because that is what her Dominant Wants and what she wishes is to Please Him. And she would even do what Seems Difficult and even Embarrassing at the time. Never should she follow Blindly, but she must see that what her Dominant Asks of her is for the pleasure of T/them Both.

At times the Dominant, may Know, that the submissive really Can go farther than she thought. And with the use of Safewords, He is able to take her there. In the beginning of all relationships, it is most important to abide by the Discussed and the Perceived limits, and it must be taken Slowly. If a Safeword is used and the Dominant does not Heed her perceived limit, then an Important Trust is Broken. The use of Safewords should be Stressed in Any new relationship so that the Trust and Understanding are able to grow.

With time and understanding, however, the T/two Can reach a point where the Dominant knows how far the submissive can go Physically, Emotionally, and Spiritually. And the submissive can come to Trust her Dominant's decisions. Even then a Safeword is still an Important safety tool. It can be dropped in Session, but a Worthy Dominant still holds the value of using Safewords in New and Uncharted territory. Even in a long-standing and Trusting relationship. The caring Dominant knows He Cannot Read Minds, even if He knows His submissive Extremely well.

The submissive has a Wonderful role to live with the Right Dominant. With Him, she will grow Emotionally and Spiritually into what she wishes to become, Learning to love Freely and Unconditionally and find the true power deep within her. The Dominant also becomes the Man He feels within His soul, Proud to be able to walk the Honorable path of Teacher, Poet, Warrior, and Protector. Proud of His charge and the Pleasure T/they bring E/each O/other. T/together the T/two will embark on a Journey that will take T/them out of the realms and limits of Society and into the timeless dimensions of the Universe

It's funny how sometimes you think you know someone only to find out you really never knew them at all..just one of the many lessons ive learned.

The messages seem to be endless , Some from very nice people other from people I swear suffer from pervasive devoplemental disorder. I want to thank everyone for their intrest however it is me who is not interested . After being on this site for several years now I still find the same people doing the same thing. Most forgive me if I offend you arent even intresting enough to reply to. other's to dumb to understand anything more complex than fuck me. I am not looking for anything more than friendship . WAIT pay attention..NOT LOOKING. shortly after creating an account on this site I found my one, although things didnt turn out in a rainbow type of way. it is what it is, two years after it ended I still love him and probably spend every waking moment thinking about him. Ive attempted to move on. spending months with DaddyWilliam who is by far an exception to this site , A tragic accident caused U/us to part ways , sometimes I believe things happen for a reason at the time this accident happened I was having many issues in my personal life and had he said jump on a plane and never look back I would have done just that , Life has a funny way of playing its self out that didnt happen and it was the best for the both of us, I would have gotten on that plane for all the wrong reasons. any submissive who in the future is owned by William will be a very lucky girl. I have shared many things and have a few very close friends here that I would probably trust with my life , I cant thank Sir Valiant enough for all the support he gave me, Sir Joe is an amazing man and Dominant , if only things, feelings, I were different. Celtic prince who I have known for years is another amazing inspiration and guiding light.. My search ended a long time ago and I only keep this account to keep in contact with friends ive made both old and new.. many things on this site disappoint me, the lack of integrity among the Dominants the lack of sincerity among the submissives. I find it amazing how often people here replace submissives/Owners , the lack of connection between owned and owner shocks me. seems more like an orgy or swingers club than a D/s relationship..as for me I sit alone and am perfectly content with that. I came here looking for someone and I found him. relacements arent an option im just simply not built that way. trying to move on, finding someone new, starting over, denying what is well the odds are stacked against me. you trying to change my mind, insisting, demanding and trying to take what isnt yours well the odds are stacked against you. I am who I am, complex, passionate, loyal, combative, sensual, honest, insane, creative and TAKEN.
Being alone is my choice , being with someone else or attempting it would be unfair to both parties , I could not give my all and probably never will. I would rather be alone and true to myself...IM DONE RAMBLING.....

PART 2.......

I wake up slowly and moan softly as I move, my body feels so sore I lift my head hitting the iron bars just above me and I remember where I am, I try moving around but there isnt any room. The room is completely black I cant see my hand in front of my face, im so thirsty and hungry but he hasn?t left anything for me, oh god I think what have I gotten myself into, I try forcing the cage door open but I cant get the door to budge. Suddenly, a warm yellow light illuminates a big cock at the top edge of one corner I realize its just a dildo but it looks very life like. Its skin colored atleast 8? and rather thick, behind it I see a container with what looks like water, then I realize if I want something to drink this Is my only option I try to move my body so that its In front of my face, im just so thirsty. Finally I lean forward and slide my mouth onto the cock and start sucking it. Nothing happens so I suck harder still nothing happens taking the cock deeper into my mouth it suddenely feels different, its warmer I realize it?s the liquid inside the cock I suck and still I cant get any liquid out my mouth gets dryer and I know I must try harder I wrap my lips around this cock and feel it compress as I tighten my grip holding my grip I slide the cock out of my mouth finally my lips are wrapped around the head and I begin sucking the liquid from its head, its warm in mouth has a strange texture but tastes ok, feels so good to get something wet into my mouth savoring the taste trying to ease the dryness. Unknown to me he is watching on a video camera, im so thirsty that I have to have more I slide my mouth back onto the cock taking it in deeper trying to get at the liquid milking it with my lips until I feel it squirt then deeper to get some more knowing the deeper I can take it the more liquid I am bound to get relaxing my lips I take this cock deeper and deeper until most of it is In my mouth suddenly realizing that im sucking on this large cock like I cant get enough, I pull back licking my lips my thirst is satisfied but my mind feels a little fucked up thinking why Is he doing this to me? I think back to what happened last night, the humiliation, the hurt omg the cum suddenly the light illuminating the cock goes out and it is pulled away from the cage a flat screen on the wall lights up and there he is smiling saying good morning Angelique. Did you sleep well? I don?t answer only lowering my eyes, he says you maybe feeling a bit confused about what you have done and why you are being treated this way immediately I tear up knowing what he is referring to but still I hold my silence, he continues saying you will learn that you are owned and going out and giving some random guy a blow job is not acceptable, although you told me I was not there it was not done with my guidence, direction and most importantly my permission, you behaved like a common whore and shall be traeted like one for the time being , its clear that you are not ready to be left alone and until you realize that you are completely owned this is how it will be..i sit in silence taking in his words tears streaming down my cheeks the guilt is overwhelming he asks would you like to add anything Angelique will eyes lowered I answer no Sir. The screen goes black , I curl up into a ball trying to comfort myself the silence, the loneliness is starting to set in and its unbareable even more unbareable are his thoughts of me subtle lights illuminate the room again and I hear his voice he says you have one hour to shower , get dressed, put some makeup on and fix your hair, I have left some clothes for you in the bathroom one hour Angelique. I hear the lock on the cage door open, I crawl out and make my way to my feet ,my body is so sore and stiff I try stretching but it only makes it hurt more, I make my way to the bathroom and run the shower stepping in I sit on the floor allowing the water to run over my mind feeling so dirty I can feel the dry cum on my face and my hair is hard dried with cum and again I begin to cry understanding what he had said , finally I stand washing my body then my hair I realize that I only have an hour and making him mad isnt an option I step out wrapping myself in a towel , he has left a very short skirt, tshirt a wooden brush, some pink lip stick, pink nail polish and some sparkles, I stop to hold the towel close bringing it my nose knowing he had touched it hoping he had left his scent but there wasn?t any I begin dressing starting with the skirt I slide it on slowly bringing it up over my hips feeling a draft thinking I cant bend over in this thing then the tshirt pulling it over my head it fits tight to my body taking the brush in my hand I brush out my hair there isnt much I can do with it he has only left me an elastic pulling back into a pony tail I apply the pink lips stick also applying some to my cheeks, taking the sparkles I apply some to my cheeks and eyes and last the nail polish thinking that?s weird no shoes or socks, I find my way to the door but it is locked I knock and wait I can hear footsteps coming down the hall it unlocks and he opens it saying good morning Angelique did you have a good night knowing I had been miserable I answe yes Sir, he smiles saying good girl ?you look so pretty this morning? taking my hand he leads me into the living room to my surprise there are three other men sitting there they all stare at me as I enter, I hesitate but he leads me over to his leather chair he sits down and looks down at the floor next to him I kneel at his feet beside him he says men this is my slut Angelique she was with me at club hell last night all these thoughts start going through my mind were any of these men there, were they the ones who had covered my face in cum, I can feel my face turning red, one of them ask?s did you have fun at the club last night Angelique? Yes ,I answer. Master says come now Angelique look up at these men and tell them how much you enjoyed having everyone watch you suck my cock, the feeling of humiliation takes over me looking up saying I liked sucking his cock , I liked that others watched me do it, im so embarrassed as I see them looking at me, not hard to tell what their thinking as I see the bulges in their pants. Tell them what you did after I came all over your face Angelique he tells me,I look down saying I turned around and showed everyone the cum on my face and then they all came over and shot their cum all over my face the men laugh at me. Probably cant get enough cock now can she one of the men says I don?t know Master answers looking at me you want more cock Angelique? I answer yes Sir. "Maybe if you get up and show the men what a pretty little slut you are, maybe one of them will let you suck their cock," Master tells me. "Get up slut." I stand there, I look down embarrassed "Walk for us slut," Master tells me. I started walking away from them he must have noticed my reluctance and calls me over to him, saying don?t move Angelique as he reaches out and pulls me to him before I realize what is happening I am laying across his lap he says do you think you can embarrass me in front of my friends and nothing will happen?" he asks. I can tell he is mad and the fear hits me I start to apologize then WHACK he begins spanking my ass hard over and over, till it hurts so much I cant help but cry, then he stops who do you belong to Angelique he asks in a cold voice, you Sir, I belong to you I answer, and what are you Angelique he asks, a slut Sir I am a slut I answer as I wipe the tears from my eyes. My friend thinks you are a wannabe and you are weak is he right Angelique? He asks no Sir I answer as I look over at the friends don?t tell me he says get off my lap and go tell him, if you don?t want to end up over my lap again you better behave yourself Angelique, I stand up and look over at the man who said I was weak, he stares at me lifting his finger he motions for me to come to him, come sit on my lap slut the mans tells me it hurts when my aching cheeks make contact with his pants he moves his arm around me adjusting me so that I may feel his hard cock pressing through his pants against my ass, he has me sitting sideways on his lap and turns my face making me face him saying you have something you want to tell me Angelique? Yes, I am sorry I didn?t answer you earlier, looking down I am a slut , I know you are Angelique the man says as his hand moves down between my legs I feel his fingers moving over my smooth cunt, does that feel good he asks as his finger finds my clit lightly touching do you enjoy me touching your cunt Angelique? I know its wrong but his light touch feels so good a soft moan escapes my lips yes afraid to say anymore , he keeps caressing me softly as he holds my face forcing me to look at him pulling me closer and closer to his lips I realize he is going to kiss me I don?t stop him instead I open my mouth as our lips touch, I want his kiss and moan as I feel his tongue enter my mouth his kiss filled with passion and greed he continues massaging my pussy without thinking I have parted my legs welcoming his touch, when he breaks the kiss I am breathless I look up at him wrapping my arms around his neck kissing him again I moan as I feel his tongue eplore my mouth he again breaks the kiss and pulls me close whispering in my ear I cant wait until he lets me fuck you Angelique ,I will turn you into my slut and my cock will be all you think about, I listen and know that him fucking me is a real possibility. I had thought that it might come to that but really was thinking mainly about if Master was going to fuck me. Will he let others fuck me too? Will he tire of me and give me to another?? I feel the man release me. "Now get up, pull your skirt down and show your Master how a little cunt like you can walk," he tells me. I stood up adjusting my skirt I look at the man whos lap I was so recently on and couldn't help but smile then I looked at Master. There was no smile on his face and I turned and walked away slowly. thinking sexy might not be good right now walking over I stand before him,I go down on my knees and address him, Master I am so sorry about the way I acted It is not right for me to not appreciate the time you spend with me.", I look up at him and say quietly to him, "Master, I'm your slut, may I please suck your cock I beg of him, take it out slut he tells me, I reach up and unfasten his jeans he lifts up and I pull them down to his thighs his hard cock is exposed me to he looks at me and smiles as I stare at his cock, cant believe how much you want it can you Angelique? He asks its alright he says you cant help it reaching down he takes his cock in his hand as it grows harder ?beg for it Angelique. My lips are dry, running my tongue over them to get them wet as I look at his cock. I didn't remember it being that big. "Please Sir, please let me suck your cock, I really want to, please," I beg of him. I can't take my eyes from it. His cock is so hard and standing straight up. He strokes his cock and I see a big drop of precum on the end of his cock. "Lick it off bitch, just with your tongue." I lean forward and lick it off. I taste it on my tongue then remember the taste and again I lean forward to lick it remembering how much I love his taste. did I tell you you could lick it again Angelique? No Sir I answer again begging please Sir please may I suck your cock, Please. I feel he enjoys me humiliating me he answers yes Angelique you may suck my cock , I lean over and take his cock in my mouth. My tongue worships it, trying to make it feel so good. My tongue brushes lightly under his cock . I suck it deep in my mouth then start sliding it in and out. I try to take more on each downstroke. Really I like the way it feels in my mouth and I concentrate on sucking it as good as I can. Love the feel of his cock in my mouth when its all juicy. His hand pulls my head from his cock. "You love it don't you bitch?" he asks of me and when I nod yes he rubs his juicy cock all over my face. now take it all for me he says ,I put his cock back in my mouth and start sucking on it, taking more and more of it till I feel it against my throat. I relax knowing I have done this and push my head down harder. Suppressing the urge to gag, I let it into my throat. I feel his hands on my head. "That's a good girl," he says. Taking a hold of my hair he pulls me from his cock saying stand up wait for me in my room. Quietly Angelique, looking up at him I answer yes Sir he smiles and releases me I stand exiting the room I make my way down the hall a bit confused thinking which is his room but there arent many and I know which room not to go into only one other choice I push open the door and I see a log bed, dresser, chair, lamp and night stand , I make my way over to the bed his shirt is laying there I pick it up and I crawl onto the bed laying there holding it close holding him close . his scent embraces me, holds me, owns me I drift off to sleep? I wake up to his hand caressing my cheek I open my eyes and he sits there beside me watching me he looks so peaceful, I sit up quickly not wanting to anger him he stops me asking me to lay back down his tone is different, he is gentle and loving I start to explain that he wasn?t specific with instructions when he sent me to his room he strokes my hair saying I know this is hard for you and my intenstions arent to hurt you but to guide you, protect you,teach you,mold you care for youlove you and own you for a second I saw a look in his eyes that I had seen many times before my eyes fill with tears I know that he remembers. sitting up slowly I lean forward and kiss him he doesn?t pull away he kisses me softly wiping the tears from my eyes ,withdrawing from me saying we are going out panic hits me and im thinking not another bar I ask where he answers I need not worry about it I make my way off the bed asking if I need to change? He answers no you look fine I have left some socks for you on the foot of the bed and shoes are on the floor, I sit at the end of the bed reaching for the socks there white knee high socks my first thought is school girl and I smile, he stands there watching I slip one sock on, my legs slightly parting he moves closer slipping the other sock on Im careful to keep them together unsure of what he is thinking or how he will react he stands in front on me placing his leg between mine he looks down at me but doesn?t say a word he kneels in front of me taking my face in his and he leans in a kisses me gently with the other hand he moves one leg to the side then the other his lips so soft his scent so intoxicating he finds his way between my legs and slowly lays me back on the bed his soft hands caressing my thighs he slowly runs his tongue along my thigh upward over my mound he stops for a second I feel his warm breath I arch my back and moan softly my pussy aching for his attention he runs his tongue downward again this time I feel his tongue licking at the sides of my slit then stop in the middle pushing it into my slit working up stopping at my clit stoping he takes my clit between his lips and slowly pulls at it I moan again he releases and leans over me pushing his tongue past my lips the tatse is amazing he starts to pull away my tonge chasing him wanting more saying Please Sir but that look that had been there only seconds before was gone he stands placing himself in front of me, I feel so nervous as he takes my hand and moves it down to his crotch I can feel his cock through his jeans my hand stretches out over the lenghth of it and I press down lightly so that I may get a better feel, you like it don?t you angelique? He asks Embarrassed to look up at him yes Sir I answer he releases my hand but I don?t move it I can feel the heat through his jeans, yes I like it I say again softly do you want more? He asks he runs his fingers through my hair it feels so good he makes me look up at him answering yes Sir I want more please, tell me what you want Angelique he says I answer softly I want to taste it Sir he pulls me closer saying in my ear tell me what you really want Angelique? I want to suck your cock Sir I want you to cum in my mouth taking a handfull of my hair he pulls my head back then licking up one side of my face I moan as I squeeze his cock ?Please Sir? he suddenly releases me pushing me away saying no Angelique you havent earned it his voice so cold I told you that you were going out didn?t I ? Yes Sir I answer as im picking the shoes up off the floor I put them on and stand in front of the moirror adjusting my pony tail I stand there a minute admiring my collar caressing it he stands behind me watching in the mirror you like it he asks I answer I love it Sir he asks why are you wearing that Angelique not sure of my answer I say I belong to you Sir.i feel his hand move over my skirt as he presses between my legs I moan loudy as he pulls my ass back against his hard cock what do I feel Angelique? He asks your cunt Sir I answer pleading again may I taste you Sir Please,no Angelique we have to go out as he eases me away from him its time, I notice its about 5 in the afternoon I see the clock as he leads me from the house, the brightness makes me squint my eyes need to adjust he leads me to the truck opening the door I get in immediately lowering my head he begins to drive and he tells me he has registered me for some writing classes I look over at him in disbelief I think yes he says I registered you at local collage a part time thing they have classes on Saturdays he explains and what better he says you can spend your time in class educating yourself instead of in bars sucking cock he pulls onto campus he parks the truck looking over at me he asks you are going to be a good girl for daddy arent you Angelique? Thoughts run through my mind there is no telling whats waiting for me behind those doors looking over I plead with him Please Sir please don?t make me do this I beg almost in tears..its Daddy Angelique his voice cold you don?t want to make Daddy mad do you? Making him mad isnt an option I lower my head and softly answer no Daddy. He gets out and comes over to the passanger side and opens the door offering his hand to me I place my hand in his and he help me out of the truck, he holds my hand tight in his as we walk down he path leading to the door, he leads me into the building and into class the professor is sitting behind he desk he is in his 50?s dark hair and eyes 6ft tall good shape, professor stands up and says hello calling him out by name my first thought omg I don?t know if I can do this again, Daddy says hello and the professor asks who the little cutie is Daddy answers saying this is Angelique she is cute isnt she yes the professor says she is Daddy says she will be in your class saying to me walk over and introduce yourself I reply yes Daddy , slowly walking over I stand in front of him putting out my hand saying im Angelique he held my hand tighting looking me over maybe if you got down on your knees I look over at Daddy and he knods his head I slowly sink to my knees in front of him, now look up at me Angelique he tells me i look up at him and his eyes pierce mine I continue to look at him he says open your mouth wide Angelique, embarrassed I do as he says Daddy says she isnt a bad writer but could improve her skills although she can be a little lazy at times is she good at sucking cock? the professor asks Daddy says she isnt bad but there is always room for improvement, I cant give her a good grade for sucking cock the professor says that would be like a reward for the slut, my mind is thinking many things at this point none of which I would be allowed to say out loud without being punished, you are right Daddy says please continue, please stand up the professor tells me I get up and he leads me over to to his desk, lift your skirt Angelique he orders, daddy sits in a leather chair and watches as I lift my skirt, I feel scared thinking what if someone walks in the door isnt locked when is this humiliation and torture going to end my skirt is up and I look at him he licks his lips as he looks at my ass ok Angelique bend over and grab the edges of the desk and don?t let go if you know whats good for you. I do as he says thinking this just gets worse and worse in disbelief that Daddy is just going to sit by and watch , I hear him open a drawer and take out something suddenly a loud noise and then the pain hits, he had just hit me with a wooden ruler, I cry out loudly then realizng someone might hear me then two more, WHACK! WHACK! OH GOD! The ruler really hurts badly and he is using such force I keep myself from crying out biting my lip, you will sit in the front row when you come to class he tells me when I don?t answer quickly WHACK! He hits me again Yes Sir I answer I cry out , you will wiggle, play with your hair, be a perfect girl wont you Angelique ? he says in a stern voice again the ruler comes down hard catching the very bottom of my cheeks I begin sobbing you will sign all your papers His slut, after class you will come to my office he says tell me why you will come visit me Saturday after class sobbing I answer him to suck your cock Sir, thats right Angelique now ask me for three more swats then you can go to Daddy my professor tells me but Sir they really hurt I tell him ok Angelique now it will have to be five swats he says, oh god! Inbetween sobs I finally get it out ?Please paddle me Sir Please? and he does five very hard swats by the time he is done I am crying , sobbing loudly go to your Daddy Angelique he tells me, slowly I walk over to Daddy he pulls me onto his lap running his fingers through my hair, kissing me softly, my ass feels like its on fire, he moves me so that my ass isnt on his lap but exposed he moves his finger to my mouth and I suck on it sobbing with tears running down my cheeks, its ok Angelique you know he was right Daddy tells me quietly, you are a bad little girl and bad little girls must be punished isnt that right Angelique? Daddy asks still sobbing I nod my head yes don?t you think you should thank him for your spanking? Daddy asks, I look up at Daddy with tear filled eyes then at my professor, Thank you for my spanking Sir, I will try hard in your class I promise I said in a soft voice. Lift your knees Angelique Daddy says, be a good girl for Daddy bringing his finger back up to my mouth again I begin to suck, taking his finger from my mouth bringing it around my legs places it directly on my fuck hole moving it slowly in circles it feels so good I cant help but to moan he brings it back up to my mouth again almost mindlessly im sucking it again, get it nice and wet angelique he says softly, he moves back to my fuck hole, ?does it feel nice on your pussy Angelique? his finger applying slight pressure before he moves it completely away still sobbing lightly and without thinking I move toward him as he moves it away it feels so good when he is touching me there. Does Angelique want more? He asks in an almost hypnotic voice a feeling of closeness evelopes me as I moan lightly and nod my head yes, ask Daddy to finger your pussy he continues Please Daddy my voice weak and begging feels almost like an out of body experience put your arms around my neck and ask me properly like a good girl should he says I look at him placing my arms around his neck, as he stares at me, I pull myself up and keep moving until I feel my lips on his, I begin licking his lips, Please Daddy Please, he kisses me deeply taking a hand full of hair he holds me firmly suddenly his finger presses against my hole and then finding its way into my pussy withdrawing he pushes two fingers into my pussy then three my cries fill his mouth as i struggle to move but he has me impaled on his fingers, he doesn?t move his fingers allowing me to adjust it feels so filling, keeping his lips locked onto mine until I settle down finally he breaks the kiss his lips finding my neck my head moves to the side allowing him more access his lips feel so good then his fingers move inside me he withdraws one making it more comfortable he begins moving them in a circular motion, its uncomfortable at first feels as if he is trying to stretch my pussy, my baby has such a tight pussy he whispers in my ear continuing his movement suddenly I moan as he hits the spot my back arching, he starts pulling his fingers slowly from my pussy wondering if he is going to withdraw completely thinking it hurt at first but now it feels so good, Tell Daddy what you want Angelique he asks me, without hesitation I bring my lips up to his ear. ?Please Daddy Please put your finger back in my pussy? he slowly slides his fingers back into my pussy, oh god, it feels so good. I moan loudly as I turn my head and notice the professor watching us closely another loud moan as he pulls his fingers out then deeper into me again he starts fucking my pussy faster in and out harder and deeper meeting his every stroke, it feels so good when he is deep inside me my head back into his neck as I hold my Daddy tightly he pulls my hair pulling my head further back he gins licking and biting gently at my neck oh god, it feels so good hes fucking me faster, harder and deeper and I realize whats about to happen, ?Please Daddy. Please stop? my moans mixed with my pleas but he doesn?t slow down suddenly I tense up and my muscles tighten around his fingers pulling them in deeper asking permission to cum ? may I cum Daddy please may I ? he whispers yes Angelique cum for Daddy , its intense and unlike anything I have ever felt before just as I think its over my body tense up again and im cumming again still fucking his fingers rocking back and forth into them his fingers are soaked he pulls them out of my pussy bringing them to my lips spreading my juices lightly over my lips I cant help but to taste and want more try to capture his fingers with my mouth but he doesn?t allow me pulling them away me following with such hunger, its time to go Angelique he says stand up and fix your skirt. I look over at my professor as he stands in front of his desk, I walk over to him feeling the warmth between my legs , standing in front of him looking down at the floor, I tell him, ?Sir, I cant wait to suck your cock when I come to class on saturady? I smile turn and walk back to my Daddy, Daddy says good girl Angelique. They shake hands and Daddy pulls me from the room, im in a daze next thing I remember we are driving and im sitting close to Daddy, he takes my hand holding it, saying you are going to be ok , you have to trust me , surrender and everytrhing else will come naturally he smiles as he kisses me softly on my forehead , we arrive at the cabin about half hour later he walks me down the hall I make my way to that room at the end of the hall I begin to cry I know the loneliness and darkness that awaits me he opens the door and looks down at me my head lowered he takes my face in his hand and lifts my head with the other wiping my tears away he asks me to look him and I do he asks why I a crying but I cant get a word out , he pulls me to him and holds me close asking do you trust me , I use to and im trying to I answer he says I understand that . asking what do you want Angelique what do you really want? I pull away looking at the floor saying may I go in my cage now Sir? Grabbing hold of my face a bit more forceful this time he says look at me , I expect an answer when I have presented a question to you do you need me to ask again looking in his eyes I answer no Sir that look its there again I see it, I can feel it he says well then tell me I start to talk and then stop he says I cant know if you don?t tell me leaning forward he kisses me gently my knees feel a little weak he says I will ask you again but if this time you don?t answer i will be forced to punish you is that what you want Angelique? He asks. no Sir, I answer. he asks well what do you want? I take a deep breath saying I want you, the real you , all of you I want to be held in your arms and feel that I am going to be safe, I want and I stop . holding me close he says no you are not going to sleep in your cage tonight Angelique I look up at him with a look of shock he lifts me into his arms and starts in the other direction whispering in my ear tonight you are sleeping with me in my bed where you will be held all night so that you will feel safe, he places a soft kiss on my cheek and carries me into his room ,placing me down he undresses me pulling the covers he picks me up again and places me in the bed tears run down my face he gets in the bed with me and pulls me to him saying you are safe with me Angelique you just have to believe it. I fall asleep in his arms??..

It has been several months since ive heard from him , last time we talked was around my birthday when I had gotten in some trouble at a bar and he told me I was a whore and wasn?t worthy of him, but I log on to find a message from him , asking how ive been, what ive been doing and if I had any plans for the weekend. I reply saying Im fine, havent really been doing anything interesting and im going away for the weekend for some down time. Shortly after I received a reply asking if I waned to go out on Friday have a drink and talk , he said theres a club I think you might enjoy called Club Hell I replied saying it was fine I would send him another message letting him know where I would be staying and my arrival time . several days pass and I send him another message saying I will be at a local hotel on the edge of town and I should arrive by 7pm , he replies saying that he will pick me up at 8:30 pm meet him outside by the front door , end of message. Felt strange no instructions I felt lost without direction or guidence but thinking back on our last conversation I guess I shouldn?t expect any, arriving at the hotel shortly before 7pm I check in grab my keys and my bag and find my way to my room, walking though the door the silence is numbing ,I set my bag down on the floor looking around its pretty simple a full size bed, couch, tv, small fridge , bathroom and not a sound to be heard something I wasn?t use to, I run the shower and pull some clothes out of my bag thinking short ruffled black skirt , white button down blouse , lacey bra, boy cut panties and knee high black leather boots, I proceed to take my shower , wash my hair, shave and get dressed. 8:15pm I make my way to the front of the hotel a truck pulls up driver side door opens he steps out walks around and opens the passanger door for me, I stand there and stare for a minute breathless, electricity rides my entire body he reaches out offering his hand asking if im feeling ok I simply nod taking his hand I step up into the truck , the drive is quiet , he catches me staring , saying as he glances over at me this place maybe a little different than your use to , I expect you to behave yourself, I am confused and now having second thoughts which I express to him he answers you stay with me and do as you are told and everything will be alright, at this point I ask him to take me back to the hotel , he looks over at me again making his way off the road he stops the truck taking my face in his hand he says is that what you really want angelique? Holding me in his eyes, every ounce of my being wants to be exactly where I am at this given time he runs his hand up my thigh and I simply shake my head no, he continues driving for about another 15 minutes I see the sign club hell and lots of men mostly, taking my arm he leads me into the club, it was dark, smokey , band playing in the back, he leads me over to the bar and we sit down he signals the bartender I turn to look around I see men and lots of leather a few girls who arent wearing very much and a younger guy in nothing but a jock strap im thinking to myself holy vajesus, he hands me a beer and doesn?t say anything just watches me watching everyone else, Im really feeling uncomfortable and out of my element I look over at him and ask can we please go?he answers no Angelique we may not go..I start to ask again he takes my arm squeezing saying I told you to behave yourself looking into his eyes I answer yes he squeezes harder I feel like im about to cry , his eyes are cold and I know what he wants to hear I answer yes Sir, he says its time we talk he turns towards the bar saying I am going to make you my slut this can happen a couple of ways. One is you do as I say when I say, and how I say. I will turn you into a good slut and you will be safe in my care.the other way is I give you to these men tonight. You are fucked over and over you will drink so much cum you wont be needing food for a week. They will use you and abuse you . your only choice is how you want to be turned into my slut do you understand Angelique? I answer yes Sir. So which is it Angelique the easy way or the hard way I answer the easy way Sir. He ask?s if I ask you slide off your stool onto to the floor between my legs and suck my cock , you wont have any trouble doing that Angelique? Here? Now? I say unbelievingly , he say?s yes Angelique here and now his voice stern and commanding answer please Sir I don?t know if I can do this he says maybe if you are a good girl and do as I ask it wont have to come to that, is that better he ask?s? I answer yes Sir. He says good girl now follow me , I follow him into the men?s room ?take off your skirt angelique? I look around we are alone in the restroom. I look at him and he stares at me I reach down unfasten my skirt and pull it off , he puts it on the counter, take off your panties I hesitate and then do as he asks he walks over and pulls me from the sink undoing blouse he unhooks my bra from the front then he pushes my ass back against the countertop saying remove your bra. I do as he asks placing it in his hand , he places it on the counter saying play with your pussy I want to see you I hesitate he asks would you rather do it out in the bar for everyone to see? I answer no Sir. I slide my hand between my legs and begin playing with my pussy he stands and watches. two men walk in I turn to cover up he ask?s did I tell you to move Angelique? Get back where you belong and play with your pussy. I do as told and the men stop to watch, ask them if they would like to play with your pussy my face turning red and barely having a voise I ask would you like to play with my pussy, one of them walks over pushing my hand away and begins to play with my pussy it?s the first time another Dominant male touches me and she begins to respond he moves his finger down my slit capturing my moisture tracing upward again he begins massaging my clit and I cant help but to let out a soft moan, is she your?s ?the man ask?s he answer?s yes, she is. She is beginning her training , she is beautiful the man says if you ever tire of her let me know as he continues to play with my pussy I will have to see how her training goes Master replies, the man ask?s how are her oral skills Master answers she was just about to ask to suck my cock when you guys came in , werent you Angelique? As his cold stare hits me, yes Sir . tell them how you cant wait to suck my cock Angelique, I lower my head humiliated saying I really want to suck your cock Sir, he says Sorry Angelique you havent earned my cock yet, put your skirt back on I pick up my panties but he stops me saying you wont need those throw them away, put your skirt on, I slip back into my skirt and he leads me out of the rest room putting his hand out he says take my hand sweet Angelique , embarrassed I feel like everyone is watching us as we head back to the bar, he sits back on the stool as i pull my stool to sit he stops me saying no Angelique you will not sit stand between my legs as he spreads his legs making room for me, I move between them facing him asking can we go now Sir, Please? He asnwers I will tell you when we can go . you ought to see all the men looking at your cute little ass when I turn to look he grabs my chin and stops me from turning my head saying maybe you should take off the skirt and show them what they want to see, Please Sir please don?t do this to me, turn around Angelique let them see you, I turn around and see that several men are looking at me, he puts his hand around my waist and pulls me back against him, my ass pressed against his crotch , I can feel his cock press against me he moves my hair aside from my ear and whispers can you feel it Angelique? His cock pressed up on my ass I answer yes Sir, you will learn to worship it angelique you wont be able to get it out of your mind, his hand moves under my blouse he takes my nipple between his finger and squeezes, ?tell me what you feel against your ass Angelique? your cock I answer,? rub your ass against it Angelique ,show the men what you are?, he says. I look out and several of the men are watching me he squeezes harder I start rubbing my ass against his cock, ? lay your head back on my shoulder and tell me you want to be my slut Angelique? leaning back I whisper I want to be your slut Sir he says good girl , I know my face is beat red as I feel his hard cock against my ass , he feels so big and realize how wet ive become he says look at them looking at you, wishing you belonged to them, tell me who you belong to Angelique ? I belong to you Sir I preply, its time to show them who you belong to Angelique, do not disappoint me he says as he pushes my head off his shoulder and turns me around to face him, on your knees now Angelique, Please Sir don?t make me do this I beg again he says on your knees now, I slowly drop to my knees thinking to myself atleast I don?t have to face anyone I can see the outline of his cock through his pants, unzip me he says, my hands shaking I unzip his pants, do you want to take it out angelique he asks? I again try pleading with him Please Sir Please don?t make me do this here. Next wrong answer you get a bare bottom spanking in front of all these men, do you want to take it out Angelique? Tears in my eyes I nod and answer yes Sir, why do you want to take it out Angelique? I can see that men are watching all around and know that a wrong answer will not be good , I answer because I want to suck it Sir, all the men will know you?re a cocksucker angelique is that what you want? he asks, I can see he wants to humiliate me I nod my head yes, answer me Angelique tell me what you want the men to know you are? in a cold voice, tears running down my cheek I answer I want them to know im a cocksucker Sir. A cocksucking slut? He asks Yes Sir a cocksucking slut totally humiliated, take it out Angelique he tells me, I lift my hand and reach inside his pants I feel his cock at my fingertips, I move my hand closing it around his cock,its so warm not rock hard but firm and big, I pull it from his pants and It springs out in front of my face, I find myself staring at it he says do you want to taste it? Angelique, I reply yes Sir , show my friends how much you need my cock in your mouth, show them that you will do anything to please your Master, looking at it I can see some precum and i want nothing more than to taste it, taste him, I look up at him asking may I taste your cock Sir? He answers yes Angelique you may , my mouth moves forward and my tongue reaches out and licks the precum from his cock, savoring the taste my only thought is more, I lean forward placing my hand around his cock I begin stroking looking for more of his dew another drop of precum I lick it up. He ask?s you want it don?t you Angelique? All I can do is nod he chuckles , I close my eyes and listen to him and know what is expected of me, I feel my mouth opening sliding his cock into my mouth I have to stretch my lips as his cock thickens, my mouth feels so full then I slowly slide it out of my mouth my lips trying to hold it, then back into my mouth, I slowly suck it in my cheeks hollowing as I suck on it slowly pulling him deeper into my mouth, it goes deeper this time and I feel like im going to gag, I feel him grab my hair and pull me from his cock my mouth still open my tongue still reaching for it as its pulled from my mouth, you want more Angelique? He asks as he pulls my hair keeping me from his cock, yes Sir please, only if you take it all for me this time, can you do that slut? Yes Sir , put your hands behind your back Angelique, I do and feel metal cuffs around my wrists, his hands come around the sides of my head, I take a deep breath as I feel him pull my head onto his cock it stretches my mouth and slowly slides in, very slowly very steady deeper and deeper, it fills my mouth and I feel it nearing my throat I gag a little, he doesn?t stop but forces it into my throat holding my head as I gag on his cock saying breathe through your nose Angelique, I couldn?t breathe but I couldn?t stop , I knew you would be my slut the first time I saw you he tells me with his cock buried in my throat, he pulls his cock from my mouth I gasp for air trying to get a breath ," he tells me, "you fuck your face for me without my help. You will take it all each time, fuck yourself with it till you suck the cum from my cock. Do you understand cocksucker?" he asks me, his face so intense, it scares me.yes Sir I answer, he asks what are you Angelique? I answer I am your slut Sir, what kind of slut are you Angelique? He asks? I answer im a cocksucking slut Sir, he says turn around and tell my friends what you are Angelique,and what your going to do for me, I slowly turn tears running down my face I say I am a cocksucking slut and I am going to suck Masters cock until i suck the cum from his cock And when you feel me start to cum, you are to pull my cock from your mouth, and make me spray your face with my hot cum," he commands. "You haven't earned the right to drink my cum yet Angelique, everyone is gathered watching, some are masterbating I lower my head in humiliation, lift your head Angelique and look at me he says, beg for my cock angelique. "Please let me suck your cock Master, please," I beg of him. "I really want to suck it and make you cum Master." He asks do you realize that I own you now and you will do whatever I say,I hestitate he take a hold of my hair and asks DO YOU UNDERSTAND NOW? Yes Sir I understand I answer, well then Angelique show me that you understand, moving my head forward I take his cock in my mouth lowering my lips onto his cock until my lips hit his pubic hair bringing my head back almost to complete release I take his cock in again, over and over again I take his cock hard into my throat showing him that I understand that I must serve in the extreme , making him cum is the most important thing in the world right now, I feel his cock start to swell his hands grip my head and pulls me off his cock, his cock explodes all over my face stream after stream of hot cum coating my face I can feel it on my cheeks, my lips, my chin even my hair, keep your mouth closed Angelique, I will let you know when you have Earned the right to eat my cum he says, he strokes the last few drops out the urge to lick my lips is incredible but I know im not allowed to, he says good girl now turn and show my friends show them what a cocksucking slut you are,I turn and face them, there staring my face streaked with strings of white cum I could feel it dripping from my chin I feel his foot on the handcuffs pushing them down to my legs pulling me back so that they may have a really good look at his work, a man moves forward, I can see his cock in his hand he moves up beside me in open my eyes and see that he has aimed his cock at my face i hear him moan and then feel his cum shooting onto my face, I close my eyes as I see others moving forward one after another they cover my face with cum, no one speaks a word through my closed eyes I can see the flashes as a few take pictures of my humiliation, my face now covered in cum I feel someone remove my blouse and start wiping the cum off my face its so thick and sticky but someone cleans my face pretty well with it, I open my eyes and theres a real pretty girl standing beside me in a bra and panties, her makeup so pretty she smiles at me time to take you home he says thank her for cleaning you up he says taking my hand he pulls me from her we leave the bar and head back to where I think is the hotel, when we get to his car he reaches behind the seat he picks up a leather collar and places it around my neck fastening it then I hear a pad lock closing then he picks up a chain leash and attaches it to my collar, he helps me into the truck and we begin driving again the silence is unbareable, breaking the silence he says his friend has a cabin in the woods that I would like to show you we pull onto a dirt road he didn?t say anything else until we came upon a cabin, he stops the truck and gets out and comes over to my door only saying out Angelique, he tells me in a cold voice to get on my hand and knees, I slowly lower myself to my knees then onto my hands he reaches down grabbing the leash he begins pulling as he walks I follow along on hands and knees as he makes me crawl faster the ground is hard on my knees I follow him into the house and find some relief on the carpet he doesn?t stop but leads me down the hall directly to another door , he opens the door the room is empty but for a bathroom and a small cage in center of the room the lighting isnt very good but im guessing that is no accident he walks me over to the cage opening it he tells me to crawl in , its small there isnt any room to move round in let alone stand or kneel, after I am in he removes the leash doesn?t say another word turns off the lights and closes the door on his way out,left with nothing but a blanket to lay on, I had never felt so alone in my life, I wait and wait and waited for what seemed like hours but he never returned , I layed down on the blanket thinking of everything that just happened and cried myself to sleep?......

I havent been on in 3 weeks or so, vacation and then my computer crashed so I went out and got a lap top only to find everything has changed.....does it matter? no I guess it doesnt.....how many battles do you lose before you get off the front line, I'm sure I'll figure it out someday.....

It amazes me all that I have missed out on, I thought that at one point I had something that was truly special and I couldnt have been more wrong. Although you never stop loving someone I have learned that it's ok to let them go and move on...as I sit here now and look back over the last couple of years I see that I have grown almost like a hermit crab and that isnt the best example but its what I have right now, I started with such a little shell and for a long time even when it didnt fit anymore I held on tight and was so afraid to let go, afraid of shadows, afraid that a new shell would just not feel like home, afraid of being carried away , so many fears for one lil crab to have to carry alone. I have found a new shell and I dont spend my time hiding anymore Im quite the ocean floor tourist these day's, curious about everything. curiousity opened me up to him , the ocean isnt so big anymore most of time .......just a thought

Some of you Dumbinants are something else Male and Female alike, If your going to send me a message saying you have something to tell me about my Dom then say what you have to say, that does not open the door for cam requests and all that other BS ...thats rediculous......even if I were not taken I would not play with you cam or cyber or phone........it's not who I am......Thanks for the good laugh , I needed one...Happy Trails

Ok, my yahoo account has been hacked either last night or early this morning. I keep getting messages from people that seem to be very upset with me...Im sorry if the messages were retarded or disrespectful in any way, it wasnt me sending them and I have fixed the problem....

As Pull down my street I notice that he is home and im in trouble , my body trembles , I make my way into in the house catching a

glimpse of him from the corner of my eye, he is just sitting there I walk passed him down the hall into the bedroom, he says take

your clothes off and kneel ill be in a minute ,I reply yes Sir, removing all my clothing I kneel , head lowered ,hands at my side, I

hear footsteps in the hall there getting closer, lifting my chin He ask's wher have you been all day i started to answer He say im

not finished, He continues, your cell phone is on the desk, you didnt call me at work to say where you were going, you didnt leave a

note , what am I to do with you girl, I started to answer again this time saying shut your mouth, I called and you didnt answer and i

got worried, I left work early to find that you went out saying now you may speak, I couldnt get a word out , my tears and gasps

trapped my words in my throat, He says you realize there is a consequence I knodded, taking his leather belt in His hand He

strikes me across y lower back and I scream, He strikes me again and again I can no longer contain my crying He strikes me again

saying dont make a sound , i try but the pain is unbearable as He strikes me again saying I can still hear you and strikes me again

and again as the tears stream down my cheeks I bite my lip and try not to breathe He lays the belt across the bed saying I am

very disappointed in your behavior I dont want to see you until you have an explanation. He leaves I try to gather my thoughts

wiping my tears from my eyes I begin to gather my belongings I really didnt hve much other than a few changes of clothes I start

down the hall I find him sitting there in the chair with His head lowered Saying to him im leaving He looks up at me and I lower my

head avoiding eye contact He ask's why I answer I cant get anything right , I cant do anything right. everyone was right I am

worthless He says look at me but I cant He again says look at me I make eye contact He says You are not worthless and I cant

make you stay and if you leave you will never know saying you may go now if that is what you really want I walked to the door but

stopped afraid to walk out the door He says this is where you belong back into the bedroom remove your clothes kneel in the

corner facing the wall and wait for me, I made my way back into the bedroom, removed my clothing , kneeling in the corner waiting

He never came and I grew tired and cold laying across the floor in a fedal position I eventually fall asleep . I feel Him caress my

hair and then my cheek whispering I love you and want you, and accept you and I need you and my breath was taken away He didnt

know I had heard every word waking me saying your suppose to be kneeling I open my eyes He says over by the bed on your knees
I make my way over to the bed and kneel taking the belt in His hand he asks me to explain my behavior , I explain that my sister

had called that she needed my help and I had to rush over there He knows that she is disabled and sometimes depends on me, He

then says why ddnt you tell me the first time I asked , I answered I knew I was wrong in not calling you and im sorry but your

disappointment in me was obvious and I couldnt get a word out He says there are still consequences I answer yes Sir and He

strikes me 10 strikes for leaving the phone, 10 strikes for not calling, 10 strikes for not leaving a note , 10 strikes for not doing

your chores and 10 strikes for giving up on yourself, saying You will count out loud so that you remember I answer yes Sir
I take a deep breat and bite my lips He begins and I begin counting after awhile I was numb to the pain but I was happy to see
Him place the belt back on the bed, taking me in His arms He holds me close and reminds me im ok placing me on the bed He says

rest I am going to get you something to eat Kissing me softly on the lips He walks away.. I drift off to sleep

Im finding myself at a loss for words the funny thing is its ok
the last thing I need is to be heard, but to hear what you would
say, the words that you speak poor down like rain washing my

eyes to see your beauty to be still and know that your in this

place please let me stay and rest in your in this peaceful place,

im finding myself in the mist of you beyond the faces and the

noise all that I need is to be with you and in the quiet
hear your voice..... Please let me stay..

another intresting day in my not so intresting life.....went to see my shrink its official he thinks im nuts..maybe it was in the way i asked him to play with me..... he did smile though...anyway lesson learned today some people arent who they say they are give them enough rope and it wont take them long........i have been blessed in finding One who just LOVES to listen , and every moment i spend in His presense is an honor , ive learned things about me that i didnt know existed and although sometimes it isnt easy and can be painful He always seems to know how to sooth the pain....im often left speechless, but more often then not im left feeling and understanding a lil more about my complex self....makes me wonder what tomorrow brings.....

ok He's gone ....I have mixed feelins about that. but one shouldnt have to try so damn hard and maybe its better this way........this girl is moving on.....

ok Im having issues today ok so i have issues everyday.. anyway I woke up this morning thinking about 2 guys fucking while Im sitting in a chair across the room fucking myself while watching them at play....im thinking this must be a fantasy or my meds are to high....cant wait ti hear what the shrink thinks about that....anyway im thinking WHAT THE HELL............

I spent alot of time last night thinking about my fear most of the night actually, the rest of the night I spent with my imagination allowing Him close to me losing myself in Him, ok my fears i think i may be more afraid of myself than I am of Him, afraid of being left, afraid of not being good enough, pretty enough, thin enough, I found that im insecure , my self esteem is shot to hell , I live in this isolated place in my mind and soul..I tend to become attached rather quickly and I guess this may be my greatest downfall, I latch on, cling, and I wont dare use that other word...what I do know is that I dont want to be with 3,4 or 5 Doms before finding my One, I want to find Him and lose myself in Him not for an hour, or a day, or a month but forever...maybe thats isnt realistic but i didnt say I had all the answers..just another thought...

it has been a long day but the weekend seemed to be even longer..He seems to be consuming most of my thoughts even though we have only been speaking about 1 month...to be honest its scarey, terrifying actually, something about being left plays with your mind and the constant fear of Him leaving me also scares me to death....ive put some distance between us but i find myself time and time again trying to be close to Him. although im scared I will admit that He could be the one ive been waiting for....just some thoughts

It's been less than a day since I last spoke with Him and I miss Him more than i thought I ever would,, I long to feel in a way

that only he can make me feel, just the thought of Him takes my breath away, the phone ring's its a blocked call unsure of

wether to answer or not I stare at the phone for a second and say hello I hear nothing but breathing again I say hello
I hear His voice He say's how is My lil girl , I asnwer better I ca feel him smile, He says I enjoyed the show you put on for

me I smiled and said Thank You Sir and then He says motel 8 exit 6 at 8pm room 3 and hung up the phone , I stand there

holding a phone feeling confused , putting the phone down I rush to the closet and down the hall to run the shower and back

again and I have to stop and take a breath, im not sure of what to wear , im not sure of anything but my destination
I throw on a coat , grab my makeup bag and im out the door, jumping in my car I start down the road turning on the radio
holding the wheel in one hand i grab the makeup bag with the other taking out my eye pencil ,I look in the mirror and smile
pulling over I open my coat and pick the perfect place writing Sir's Slut across my chest and down my stomache like i had

done the time before that in the parking garage, pulling my hair back away from my face ,my face lights up, I start down the

road and it isnt long before im there , I am so nervouse and my entire body is trembling I take a few deep breaths before

getting out of the car, I walk up to the door and breathe again I knock softly , all the lights are out and the door is ajar
I am unsure if I should knock again or get back in the car and leave, I knock again only this time I hear His voice
He says come to me I push the door open slowly but dont see anything its darkness but I enter anyway and see a hand reaching

out for me and i put my hand out meeting His, He pulls me to Him and places a soft sensual kiss on my lips he then pulls away

and turns me around kissing the nape of my neck softly He asks have you showered I answer no Sir , He reaches around me and

unties my coat slipping it off my shoulders to find that I am wearing nothing underneathe He presses His body against mine
and I know He is pleased He whispers go shower, again I say yes Sir, taking my hand in His he leads me to the bathroom and
says dont be to long I look at Him and smile, running the water on hot I get in to my surprise everything I need is right there,
standing under the hot water my body begins to respond as the water streams over my erect nipples and caresses my body
I take this wash cloth in my hand and it feels baby soft applying body wash to it I work up a lather and begin at my neck
following the streaming water to my breasts i caress them the aroma of lavender fills the air I close my eyes and lose myself

in the feeling and smell I hear the curtain open and stand still eyes closed He says turn around put your hands on the wall
place your forhead against the wall spread your legs I answer yes Sir facing the wall I place my hands and rest my forehead
spreading my legs and wait He removes the wash cloth from my hand and runs it down my back saying arch your back
again I do as told feeling the wash cloth move down between my legs caressing my pussy i try to bring my thighs together
and feel His open hand strike my ass I gasp and He strikes my ass again saying not a sound I bite my lip He strikes me again
my eyes fill with tears He strikes again I whimper He strikes my ass again even harder but the feeling of pain had gone and

all that was left was His hand and the warm water soothing the sting, He stikes my ass again and this time I smile He moves
behind me caressing the impressions his hands left just seconds before He moves His hands over my welted skin and sooths me

with His touch I feel his cock push against my pussy and I spread my legs a little further He guides His cock inside me and
beginss fucking me with every thrust He is in deeper and I am rocking back into Him wanting Him to fuck me harder and

deeper arching my back again I part my lips and the water streams through causing a waterfall effect reaching under me He

cups my breats and caresses them taking my nipples between his thumb and forefinger and begins to squeeze my pussy cries

out for Him to fuck her harder and deeper tightening my muscles around His cock I draw Him in deeper he lets out a moan and

I pull Him in again releasing my hold to only squeeze tighter taking a hold of my hair He pulls me back into Him saying you

want Me to Fuck you harder i answer Yes Sir asking are you my lil slut again I answer yes Sir he says say it I want to be

your lil slut Sir releasing my hair He strikes my ass again looking back at Him with adevilsh smile I say Sir I want to be your

lil slut He says say it five times and I comply saying Sir I want to be Your lil slut, Sir I want to be Your lil slut, Sir I want

to be Your lil slut, Sir I want to be Your lil slut, Sir I want to be Your lil slut, He asks who own you i answer You own me Sir,
pushing His cock in deeper pulling away a bit only to bury Himself inside what belongs to Him, I continue rocking back into

Him and He meets my every thrust and feeds my hunger my orgamn builds inside and im ready to explode removing His cock

from my pussy He pushes it into my tight hole which he had used once before and I whimper He instructs me to insert two

fingers into my pussy and fuck myself also instructing me to leave my forehead on the wall for balnace and take my nipple

between my fingers I reply yes Sir one hand moves down past my thigh to my aching to be fucked pussy while the other

searches for my nipple taking it inbetween my thumb and forefinger he tell me to squeeze my nipple and count to 5 out loud

with Him and to contiue fucking myself i answer yes Sir inserrting my fingers i turn them upward and begin pushing them in

and out caressing my gspot as he makes His way deeper into my hole says ready count 1 2 3 4 5 and that was more than i

could stand withdrawing my fingers I bring my arm back around Him taking a hold of His ass driving Him deeper into me
W/we both being to eagerly thrust into O/one another me finding my place Him taking whats His He rests on 5my back and I

feel Him begin to withdraw and His cum slowly streams out from inside my hole down to my wet cum dripping pussy...........you

will have to wait for my next entry..for part 5

Materbation101 ok some ideas for the girls that like risky and down right what is she thinking.....yeah yeah roll your eyes and suck your teeth but we both know your trying to imagine it..

To simulate sex standing up: ride up and down on the handle of either a cricket bat, badminton racket or (if you like that full feeling) a tennis racket. Depending on your height (or sitting the thing on a wee stool) you can stand or half stand. Awesome. For sex kneeling, get an old-fashioned policeman's truncheon and ride it! Use your hands to rub your clit.

Get a lot of hair scrunchies and put them inside a condom to make a stuffed cock. Then just sit on top of it and put it up in your pussy. It feels as if I had a dick inside me .

Hold your keybord vertically and put the edge on top of your pussy. Gently glide it up and down. Start slowly and then go faster. If you do it too fast you could hurt yourself, so watch out. Find your most sensitive spot and rub the keyboard against it. You'll get a instant orgasm!

Take a pillow and put a long, hard object of your choice inside (air freshener can, shampoo bottle). Make sure it's under the actual pillow not just under the pillow case. Place another pillow underneath and place yourself on top and find where the object is. Tilt yourself forward a little and rub against it. When you feel like you're about ready to have an orgasm, quickly take your strongest hand with your palm facing up, right under your clit (your back should still be facing the ceiling) and press hard and move fast as you head for the climax. If you want to make it more intense, move your whole body up and down and move your hand in a circular motion. This will really stimulate you and make your whole body tingle.

Take two men's ties and a vibrator (or an electric toothbrush or whatever). Take one of the ties and put it in your mouth, tying it around your head so no sound can get out. Take the other tie and tie your wrists together (leave enough space so you can get out and so you can move). Lay back, start the vibrator and leave it on your clit. You can also use three ties: use one as a gag, tie your wrists together, and then tie your legs to your wrists, just enough so you can still move.

I like to get in the shower with my two suction-cup dildos and have a gang bang. Usually I'll get good and lubed and sit on one while I suck on one that is stuck to the wall. Sometimes I put some honey on the one I'm sucking.

First, make sure you're already wet. Take some toothpaste and put just a little bit on your middle finger. Then rub it onto your clit. It will start burning and feel really cold. Start stroking your clit and rubbing the toothpaste in. To make the feeling even more intense, rub some of the toothpaste on your asshole too.

Go to an art store and buy some Plastiline clay. It's gray, and comes in blocks, about 4 lbs. Mold it into any shape dick you like, and stick a condom on it. Then you can use it as a dildo. The good thing is, you can always remold this clay. It's very realistic feeling.

Take the rubber bulb off a turkey baster and place it over your clit. Then squeeze it and release to create suction on your clit. It feels just like someone is sucking your pussy.

get a Mardi Gras necklace (beads) and cut it so it's one long string. Then I put it between my legs and hold it with one hand in front and one hand behind me. I saw it back and forth over my clit until I cum. It's amazing and cheaper than a vibrator.

Get an empty film cylinder, one of the little plastic ones. Lick the rim of it and put it over your clit. Squeeze the sides and it creates a suction. Gently flick it while you put the end of a hairbrush in your pussy. Also works well in the shower when you fill it with warm water.

Lie on the bed and bend your legs so that your feet are flat on the mattress with your knees pointing up. Close your legs tight. Take a medium-size carrot and lube it with olive oil or baby oil. You may drop a little oil directly on your clit. Insert the carrot in your slit so that it doesn't go inside your vagina but is rubbing your clit. Start slow, then go very fast and keep rubbing it. The faster you rub the more pleasure you get. When you feel you are cumming, close your legs more tightly and lift up your hips and keep rubbing. You will have a great orgasm.

Turn on the shower and adjust the temperature to your liking. Get on all fours and position yourself in the shower stream so it massages your ass while teasing your nipples. Then turn the faucet on and lie on your back underneath it. Let it pulsate on your asshole and then let it massage your clit until you explode.

Libra, as befits the sign of the Scales, reveres balance and harmony above all. If this can be achieved with a partner, even better, for Libra rules the House of Partnerships and revels in things that come in twos. The Scales are sociable and shine in social situations, where their gift of communication is an attraction to many. Librans also want to be liked, even loved, by those who cross their path, and it can be very hard to resist the Scales when they are at their most charming and magnetic selves.

It's not unusual for Librans to possess an easy grace and sense of style and move languidly throughout a room. Behind that pretty facade is a smart, often smoldering soul who knows how to get what they want, and would love nothing more than to do so fairly and justly. When the Scales find the partner they've been searching for, it could be a match made in hot heaven.

I receive another message , simple and clear I am to be at the emerald mall 2nd level of the garage at 10:30 pm...put on a show
is all this note says....I smile im not sure what to expect but im willing to find out.. im off to look through my closet and draws
what is a girl to wear...very little sounds good, grabbing a short skirt and jacket a few goodies from the draw and im
off to shower, im ready short denim skirt , brown suede boots and jacket, im off its a ways away and ive only got 25 minutes

to make it there , i pull in to the first level its dark and it seems the mall is closed and everyone has gone home, im on the

second level there are several cars and its dark , I find a parking space facing the cars already there and think now what,
it seems so much easier when im following directions.. im trying to understand this in my mind put on a show for who, theres no

one in these cars but I dont need to know i was told to put on a show and thats what im going to do...I jump out of the car
and look around maybe theres something ive missed grabbing my bag i stand in front of the car and lean back on the hood

relaxing taking a few deep breaths gathering my thoughts and my nerve but neither is driving me my only drive is my desire to

please Him, I turn lifting one leg I place it on the hood of the car and proceed to crawl my way, my ass completely exposed I

feel so naked in a mental way, I bring myself to my knees and turn facing the cars , I allow myself to slowly fall backwards

using the windshield for support spreading my legs allowing my hands to roam , bring one hand to my face caressing my cheek

the other hand grasping my thigh sqeezing tightly the way I would imagine His touch , running my fingers across my lips my

tongue calling them in the grasp on my thigh becomes tighter , my mouth releases my fingers and my hand finds its way to my

fully aroused breasts and I start pulling and squeezing my nipples through the jacket feeling this fire build inside of me
devoting one hand to my breast the other searches for my wet moist mound she's begging to be touched and my hand is willing

to give her the attention she craves, I slowly begin caressing her listening to her cries, slipping one finger inside she is so

welcoming gathering from her stream of juices I remove my finger and begin caressing my clit in a circular motion she cries to

be fucked again removing my hand from my breast i reach in my bag to grab my lil pink vibrator turning it on low I run it

past my lips down over my breasts stopping for a second at my nipples and continuing onto my already swollen clit , plaing it

on my clit I hold it still allowing the vibrations to send a current through my body moving the vibrator further down my wet

cunt beckens thsi vibrating cock in , I insert it slowly bringing my thighs together I again start massaging my clit my muscles

begin to tighten the vibrator buried in my pussy , I open my legs and begin rotating my hips from side to side wanting more,

wanting it deeper and wanting it harder my need to cum is building I reach for my bag again remembering I had just got a new

toy about 8 inches in length and his gerth was impressive also but what had drawn me to it was the fact that it could be

attached to any surface i pull this bad boy out of my bag I lick the bottom and suction him to the hood of the car, im on

my knees again all I can think about is His hard throbbing cock but this will do, keeping my back side to the parked cars

where the juices running down my thigh can be seen I wrap my lips around it drawing him in releasing to draw him in again this

time deeper running my tongue across the head then my teeth then burying this cock in my throat again thye moisture

continues to build in my pussy my hips rocking back and forth wanting Him deep inside I hear a door open and im frozen in

fear here i am on my knees bare ass in the air with a cock in my mouth I hear footsteps its a guy i dont know maybe a store

manager he stops to look he's is a little taken back he drops his brief case and stands there watching were both frozen and

our eyes meet although im terrified im also extremely aroused he continues looking at me and his eyes venture down in the

direction of the cock i see that as a go ahead keeping my eyes locked on him i take this cock in again and allow my mouth to

ride him take him in deeper with every stroke of my tongue I notice his erection through his pants he starts caressing his cock

through these pants and that sends another current I bring myself up to my knees and position myself over him I open my

jacket and reveal my naked breasts where I have written Sir's across my chest and slut down my stomache, slowly lowering my

wanting wet pussy onto him she wraps herself around him and devours him , rocking back and forth swallowing him whole

pulling him in deeper it isnt long before this stranger has released his hard throbbing cock and he's stroking him making his

way over to me my eyes fixated on his erection my pussy fixated on this cock thats already inside her leaning forward i reach

for the vibrator laying there needing a purpose bringing it to my lips still fucking this coc attached to the hood i lick around

it savoring all of my juices bringing it around remebering what his cock felt like in my ass just days before i place it at the

rim and im ready to explode i make eye contact with this stranger again i continue fucking this cock harder and deeper

pushing the vibrator into my ass its more than i can stand my pussy erupts like a volcano and i ask may i cum Sir and this

stranger knods I close my eyes and fuck him even harder and deeper he says no keep your eyes open i open them to discover

that he is also cumming and my pussy begins to release again and my body is lost in orgasmic flow I allow my body to lay

forward I can still hear the stranger stroking and moaning I wait I hear his zipper and he is mumbling as he walks away i lay

there for another second while i catch my breath , gathering my thoughts and belongings i get back in my car never knowing if

my owner witnessed what i had just done but i knew that i would know soon enough, i go home to await another message...

He has sent me a message saying He wants to see me again, im nervous considering what happened the with the first meeting
but this isnt an option , im going, in His message He states that I am to meet Him at a rest stop off I95 , He also says that there will
be a bag waiting for me in the girls room, I am to arrive at 2 pm, wearing a black dress and black boots, no makeup, my hair up,
nothing underneath, in the bag I will find instructions, He says He will be watching me.. my first thought is omg not again
my second thought its afternoon and everyone will see me, my third thought anything to please Him..taking a shower I am
quick to get dressed and head out the door, as im driving im thinking what will he look like, ive never seen Him , is he all ive imagined
Him to be and then i think im about to find out, I pull off the highway into the rest stop and im thinking this place is crowded and it isnt
holiday, I get out of thecar and begin walking slowly to the rest room, im nervous and i can hardly breathe but trust Him and know
that He wont hurt me, I enter theres a few women in there fixing their hair and makeup and im looking around , I spot it and it feels like
winning the lottery, I close the stall door behind me reaching for the bag I pick it up dying to see wht He has planned for me this time
I find a note with a bullet vibrator , some rope and a blindfold thinking ,this cant be good the control isnt here. I begin to read
my instructions , I am to insert the vibrator leave the bathroom walk around the building , count 100 steps back into the woods
and I will find an oak tree that He has marked for me, I am to place the blindfold ove my eyes , completely undress face the tree
and wait. I leave the rest room , walk around the building 100 steps into the woods, I find a tree that has been marked saying you
have found your place my lil slut and it makes me smile, i undress, place the blindfold face the tree and I wait, I hear birds, I feel the
wind caress my skin and then the foot steps in the distance , my pussy immediately crys out, my nipples fully errect , the pleasure
that im feeling is unlike anything else ive ever felt , i remember the control that He has in His posession , im trying to fight this feeling
He is sending but I cant I want to I need to give in , I let out a soft moan and it stops, I want to look around I know He is there but I also
know that I was told to face the tree and I stand motionless and again He ignites me and I want to scream out His name but am unsure
of who im expecting and that in its self sends a current through my body I feel my knees start to buckle and then His arms around me
He says in a soft voice let go you are safe with me , my body trembles in His presense, I know that this time its Him and its His touch
and I feel cherished, protected , claimed. He take my hand and leads me and we stop He take the rope from my other hand
and says put out your arms and I answer Yes Sir, I feel the ropes around my wrists then He says spread your legs again I
answer Yes Sir and i feel the rope around my ankles he says good girl Angelique, I sigh His presense alone takes my breath away
I feel the grip getting tighter, I tense up again and He reassures me that I am safe, I feel His hand caress my my cheek and He places
a gentle kiss on my lips and says who owns you Angelique I answer You own me Sir and then I hear good girl and I feel another current
His hands ivestigate my body starting at my breasts , He stops at my nipples and squeezes them and although it hurts knowing
its His touch comforts me and I let out a soft moan He moves along behind me and runs His runs His hand down my back
commenting on how soft my skin is and I smile, He reaches between my legs and begins to caress my already swollen clit ,
I want to react to His touch but cant im spread to wide and unable to move, He makes His way back to my throbbing wet pussy
and removes the bullet He had asked me to insert earlier and says youve made a mess Angelique I blush and reply Yes Sir He says
you will have to clean this up , I lick my lips in anticipation of tasting the juices that have flowed for Him, I feel something press on my
lips and He says open your mouth, my lips part my tongue reaches out to taste the scent is intoxicating , He holds it for me and
insrtucts me to lick slowly making sure i get every last drop, He says I have something for you in excitement I answer really Sir
he says yes I have a reward for such good behavior I feel him move behind me again and hear His zipper , using His hands He spreads
me wide I feel His cock push against my hole and I instantly tear up and leans forward and whispers it would please me greatly Angelique
if I was the first to take you this way again saying I wont hurt you, I know that it will but the need and desire to please him is greater
than the fear of pain, I answer yes Sir You may have me any way You want me He says good girl He resumes His position
my pussy is so wet that lubrication isnt needed , I feel His cock again He begins to push into me telling me to breathe trusting Him
allowing Him in , He moans and asks who owns you Angelique I answer You own me Sir He says do you want Me to fuck you
I answer yes Sir He asks are you My little slut Angelique I answer yes Sir then He says ask Me to fuck you ask Me to make
you My slut, im unsure of what to say ive never had to say any of these things but I want it , I want Him to fuck me and I want
to be His slut , I take a deep breath, please please fuck me Sir He says that isnt good enough try harder again I say please Sir
I need to feel Your cock inside me ,I need You to fuck me like only You can , I need to be Your slut please Sir please fuck me please
taking a hold of my hair I feel Him push into me deeper and says you can be such a good lil girl Angelique He fucks my ass harder
and deeper and I beg Him for more my moans getting louder my hunger growing grabbing my hips He pulls me back into Him
burying Himself deeper within me , I feel warm honey deep inside me He withdraws His cock swatting my ass He says I cant wait
to release that lil slut that hides inside standing in front of me He places a soft kiss on my forehead, releasing the binds that hold me
He instructs me to get dressed I am to wait 15 minutes before I remove the blindfold and i am free to leave, leaning in He says
I am very pleased with you Angelique and you will be rewarded when you arrive home you are to find a quiet place and I want you
to play with your pussy think of my touch and how I felt and think of who you are and when you are ready to cum I want you to ask
for permission out loud as if I am sitting in the room watching do you understand I answer yes Sir. I hear good girl as He is walking away....

W/we had talked many times before but this time it would be different, He wants to set up a meeting
my first reaction is fear, my stomache is in a knot and im speechless, but I listenHe instructs me to meet Him at this coutry store
which isnt very far from where I live, I am to arrive at 10 pm sharp , I am told to get out of the car walk up ono the porch
stand there for thirty seconds turning in each direction and then I am to kneel legs slightly apart, head lowered , eyes closed and wait.
He has allowed me to pick out my clothes only saying that my hair is to be tied back away from my face and I am not to wear panties
or bra. I explain to Him that i dont think I can do this in a stern but soothing voice He replies it would please me Angelique I sigh and
answer yes Sir. He ends the conversation. im off to shower and get myself and my thoughts together. im excited but also consumed
consumed with fear, im wearing a very short plaid skirt, white blouse and black leather knee high boots, my hair is pulled back,
no panties or bra just as He instructed. the entire time im driving all i can think is to turn around and go home but find comfort
in knowing this will please Him. I arrive the parking lot is empty but there is still alot of traffic coming and going to this other store
that is open all night. I get out of my car and notice this porch is well lit by the street lights and everyone passing by can see me
my heart sinks and I take a deep breath. I stand there as instructed counting to thirty i then kneel , parting my legs slightly,
closing my eyes and I wait, it seemed like forever , i couldnt see anything but i could hear the cars passing by one car sounded closer
then the others but I wouldnt dare open my eyes to check. I hear footsteps on the porch they seem to be getting closer and my
fear builds, then I hear nothing its silent, I hear a voice He askes have you been waiting long i reply no Sir, His voice is soothing, soft,
deep and claims me, He instructs me to lift my skirt I hesitate remembering that i had left nothing but a thin strip of hair above
my clit and not knowing if this would be pleasing to Him, He instructs me again in a more stern voice and I lift my skirt all i can hear is
Him breathing and the cars in the distance, He then instructs me to hold my shirt with one hand and undo my blouse with the other
holding my skirt in one hand i begin to unbutton my blouse He says slowly I undo one button at a time , I can no longer hide what im
feeling, I am now exposed and He has a full view of my arousal state, my nipples are standing at complete attention , my pussy warm ,
wet and glistening with juices but He doesnt say a word, I feel His crotch in my face and take a deep breath, He has released His cock
and caresses every inch of my face with Him and I start to feel my juices streaming down my thigh, He instructs me to open my mouth
and i answer yes Sir, my lips part to welcome Him in , He pushes His cock past my lips and begins fucking my mouth gagging me
but then He stops and says do you want My cock Angelique I reply yes Sir, he says show me. taking His cock in my hand I begin
stroking Him , licking at Him my mouth hungers to taste Him, I slowly take him in running my tongue up and down his shaft , releasing him
to run my teeth slowly and gently acoss the head only to suck him in again, my mouth continues to rides His cock, hungry and eager
to taste His reward. it isnt long before I start to feel him grow in my warm, wanting, waiting mouth and He explodes in me
not thinking I swallow every last delicious drop. He withdraws and says it seems there might be some slut in you afterall. I blush and smile
still not being able to see anything around me and i dont even hear the cars anymore His voice has over powered every sound.
He then says you will stay here on your knees for another five minutes then you will get in your car drive home and await a call
do you understand Angelique, i answer yes Sir i understand. I wait the five minutes which seemed to take forever and rush home,
the phone was ringing when I came through the door, I answer He says hello Angelique I reply hello Sir, He says you have alot of
potential Angelique I smile and answer thank you Sir, I asked if I had followed directions well He replied yes lil one your lips looked
lovely wrapped around his cock , i took a deep breath and turned a few shades of red saying his cock Sir He chuckled and said yes
my lil slut His cock . He then instructed me to take a hot soaking bath think about what had happened and W/we would talk more in the morning....

i thought the ice cream might help me feel better , soothing or something but other than my tongue nothing happened........i came back to read these rediculous messages....3 lines will get you ignored ..PAY ATTENTION.....i hate getting messages that start with slave or slave girl...I AM NOT A SLAVE AND DONT POSESS SLAVE QUALITIES.......i will not beg your pardon, i am not a third person so stop speaking to me like i am......im so annoyed and cranky....@%%^*^^$%^

good morning, i wish i had something perky and humerous to share today but i dont, i have been sick since sunday fighting inner demons i guess, i have talked with some really wonderful people which is surprising One really stands out, i was really drawn to Him, but this ill feeling ive had since sunday isnt a case of the flu but a case of guilt and although im still trying to place my finger on it i think its a real case of feeling like ive let Someone down..i was given a task to complete but couldnt not because i was too busy but i couldnt say any of the things that i was instructed to say..this saddens me. i want to move on but im just not ready,i want to give all of me and at this point i dont think i have anything to give. im consumed by Him , my thoughts my senses.. i know this isnt what he wants to hear but honesty is all i know and what i offer. maybe at some point down the line and right now i cant be the submissive he needs and wants me to be...im just so EERRRRR with myself...i need ice cream

It hasn?t always been this way
I?ve remember brighter days
Before the dark ones came
Stole my mind
Wrapped my soul in chains

Now I live among the dead
Fighting voices in my head
Hoping someone hears me crying in the night
And carries me away

Set me free of the chains holding me
Is anybody out there hearing me?
Set me free

Morning breaks another day
Finds me crying in the rain
All alone with my demons I am
Who is this man that comes my way?
The dark ones shriek
I scream His name
Is this the One that will set me free?
will He rescue me

As the Man passes by
He looks straight through my eyes
And darkness cannot hide

Do you want to be free?
Lift your chains
I hold the key
All power belong's to me

You are free

I can look good when I want to
I know the right things to say
I cover up what I don't want you to see
But You see it anyway

Maybe I think I can fool You
Maybe I'm fooling myself
I want to change but I don't know how
And I need Your help

No more pretending
No more pretending
I know I need to tell You the truth tonight
Everything is not alright in my life
And I need You like never before
I don't want to pretend anymore

I'm tired of hiding my weakness
I'm tired of trying to look strong
I don't want to say that everything's fine
When there's so much that's wrong

Tell me again that You love me
Though it's more than my heart understands
And I will lay down my disguises
And show You who I am

So many years, so confused
Wondering where I'm goin' to
Roads with no signs
Dreams left behind
Nothing made sense without You

Now that You're here, I understand
Now it's clear who I am
It's like coming home
A child, but full grown
The whole world familiar yet new

I have been searching for such a long long time
I have been missing something in my life
I was lost, 'til You pulled me through
I found myself, I found myself in You

Never belonged or wanted to
But now I belong forever to You
You've made me see, all I can be

You are the One, there's no one else
Who lifts me up
And gives me water from the well
But there's a hole
That seems to drain it all away
And once again I'm left in fear and doubt
When all my strength is crying out

So here I am again
Willing to be opened up and broken
Like a flower in the rain
Tell me what have I to do
To die and then be raised
To reach beyond the pain
Like a flower in the rain

The evil wind it blows a storm
To rock my world
Just when I think I'm safe and warm
I'm lead astray far too easily
It's always hard for me to say I'm wrong
Until I know I can't go on

You have searched me
And know when I sleep and when I rise
You're familiar with all my ways
Even the darkness will shine like the day
When you look into my heart

another day passes but this day isnt like most days, I find myself thinking about him alot probably more than I should. I often wonder if he thinks about me, how often he thinks about me, if he is as anxious to talk with me as I am to talk with him, if he is as drawn to me as i am drawn to him, I lay awake at night and imagine his face, his touch, his taste and then im thinking i have lost my god damn mind....but i allow myself to venture there anyway only because its the best thing to feeling any real feelings right now and thats ok i guess...i dont know just sharing a thought i guess or rambling pick which ever you like.....

I have been overwhelmed with messages since posting my picture..i found that to be very interesting....I have replied to some but most have been ignored.. I am speaking with Someone at this time, He has managed to capture my attention which I will admit is not an easy task, I like Him thus far and am curious to know where He will lead me....I thought I knew who I was but ive changed so much in these couple of months ive been away, feels im unsure of, needs that seem to overwhelm me, the girl in me seems to have become more curious then ever, im not even sure He is my One however im not ready to rule Him out....

its been awhile but i have managed to find my way back, i have lost someone i love and im trying to own that and move on, i want to thank those who have been helping me get through this very difficult time....for those that i have lost contact with i wish you lots of luck...everything in life is a learning experience.. some people are like seasons not meant to remain in your life for the long term ...anyway im back, i am destined to find my place in this world where ever that may be even if it kills me......................

its been about a week since i last posted , nothing really intresting has happened i guess , i continue making new friends and ignoring annoying people...i keep recieving one line messages and of course i dont respond why they ask hmmmmmm because you dont deserve a response... im still working on my likes and dislikes....i think i know alot of what i need i would have used crave but it just isnt the right word...i have been talking with Someone and it saddens me that i only get a note from Him if i send one myself ... i think its nice to send Someone a note and let Him know your thinking about Him.....i like to anyway and enjoy knowing possibly someone is thinking about me also...i mean do you ever get tired of hearing Sir? ........ill leave that open...ill be back

i hope E/everyone had a nice Christmas and a better New Year, Santa was very very nice to mem must have been all of those naughty nothings i whispered in His ear, all the while i thought He had a candy cane in his pocket silly me!!!! for all of you who have been sending me messages thank you but i dont think im ready right now for anything more than friendship im not even sure i'll ever be ready, i think right now i am to emotinally needy ....till next time

Christmas is already here , how time passes. i asked Santa for a few things and i think ive been more nice than naughty but its what He thinks that counts so im keeping my fingers crossed, i havent posted in a couple of weeks , a few things have happened, most important thing being i need to do a lil more soul searching ..i think for now i will continue to make friends and keep those ive already made, and if all i ever make are friends than that fine also, something's arent meant to be and it isnt all Bad, if i never find my One im ok with that ive given myself a great gift already, i allow myself to feel who i really am and most cant honestly say they do...i hope E/everone has a wonderful xMas and Santa is good to E/everyone of you..............

i think this may be my last journal entry, so i want to take the chance in thanking those of You who were very helpful , who took the time and patience to talk with me, and those of You who werent so nice.....no hard feelings.....and that One special man that i had the pleasure in talking with...Thank You...i will be closing this account soon, be honest, be happy, be safe, be well

i believe this is my 3rd journal entry today.......yes in case Your wondering i do have other things to do however it bothers me that i am often misunderstood......i am well aware submission goes beyond the bedroom...... maybe i should have been more clear , i am not easy so please do not misread my journal entries, if You are unable to capture my mind then You will never capture my body or my soul....now i feel i have to share something before i go i find it interesting that P/people will message me breaking down my journal entries word for word but when i read there journal there is nothing there, i always look forward to O/others insight on my entries but please have some of Your own, perhaps You shouldnt take so much of Your time to criticize my thoughts and feeling and perhaps put some of that energy towards some entries of Your own.......after all this is my journal, i use it for whatever i like that day and i should be able to express my feelings and thoughts without having S/someone pass judgement or pick on me....i have lots of thoughts and feelings that i dont post here i will save those for S/someone but whatever i do post, it is mine i own it, and i wont apologize for them, You may message me and ask questions however i dont like being told i dont have a clue, these are my thoughts, my feelings, my views

ok its miday and im a bit annoyed i think, ok so People want to know more about me, i can do that, i am a woman , somewhere inside hides a girl, i would like to think i am funny, i am average looking, i have a big heart, im lead by emotions, i am erotic, i am sensual, i am giving, i can be a brat, i can be combative, i am poetic, i am most of the time sane, i can be a bitch, i am respectful, manners are a big deal to me, i have my own thoughts, i am not color blind, i have my own opinions, i am learning, i am a submissive........there are things that i will not do...scat, animals, children, needle play, anything having to do with blood.....i find that im drawn to more of a senual and erotic Dom, i can take a spanking but i will not be beaten, taking note? ....i am always respectful however if YOU ask for it i will give it to YOU......YOu will have to be erotic and sensual, funny and intelligent, gentle yet firm, You must be able to stand Your ground if given the chance i will walk all over You, if there is somethiing i dont like i will let You know, .....i am not a slave so please stop telling me i am, just because You wish it doesnt make it so....i dont enjoy be called a whore, c**t, slut or anything of that nature by People i do not know..i reserve that right for my ONE....oh yes one sentence messages dont work so if You send me a one sentence message be warned I WILL NOT RESPOND.....any more questions?

last night was interesting and this morning overwhelming guilt, i tossed and turned most of the night and probably didnt get to sleep until 7 this morning and only slept an hour, i kept thinking about Him, i tried to focus my thoughts on something else but just couldnt, the more i thought about Him the more temptation seemed to build, so i allowed my imagination to runaway for a while and i brought Him to me, His voice was sweet but firm and the touch of His hand was soft and claimed ownership and the depth in His eyes was intense and consoling, he guided me through with such patience and understanding , with every yes Sir i felt like a white dove , so fragile and gentle but yet so beautiful and free, i know it might sound crazy more so to those with much experience but it wasnt it was beautiful and almost innocent in a way, He actually stayed and held me until i drifted off to sleep, this is not a Man of my imagination i have seen His face , this morning i am overwhelmed with guilt, i feel ive done something wrong, maybe its the not having permission to do such things, these are just some more of my thoughts and feelings.....

ok talk about rambling...i dont know what that was all about but it sounded good at the time....feel free to ignore me

i need to know Your name and where You come From,
i need to know Your dreams and what You long for,

i need to know where Your going so that i may follow,
i need to hear the song in Your heart so that i may sing it back to You when You forget the words,

i need to know what a strawberry tastes like on Your tongue so that i may taste it also,

i need to feel Your touch, i need to hear Your voice, i need to taste Your lips, i need to feel Your heartbeat, i need Your guidence so that i may find my way home,

take me, embrace me, protect me, savour me, love me, mold me, save me, own me.

make me what You want and need me to be..........

another day and i live alone in my mind, a Man i know so well and yet dont know at all, if only i could say out loud how often i think of Him and dream of Him, i often wonder if He thinks of me , how could He , He only exists in my dreams, i sat outside last night just staring at the sky , it was cold , im looking into darkness and i see a shooting star my first thought maybe if i followed , it would lead me to Him yeah i know a silly thought , it was just a shooting star ....cant blame a girl for day dreaming....just another one of my silly thoughts

its another interesting day on this site, listening to music to pass time, find myself and emotions, i ask myself alot of questions but i dont have the answers, am i too complex, im just an average girl, my lil girlish at heart, fueled by emotions, i search myself and i search my soul what i need, crave, desire, long for doesnt exist inside it comes from another that i do not know, maybe im asking for too much, how do you miss someone you dont know, long for words you have never heard, crave a touch you have never felt, serve the One that only exists in your dreams, ......im rambling, im calling it a day.....

i long for Your embrace every single day
to meet You in this place to see You face to face,
will You show me reveal Yourself to me,
in Your presence i fall down on my knees,
i can feel Your presence here with me,
suddenly im lost within Your beauty
caught up in the wonder of Your touch,
here in this moment i surrender to Your love,
Your everywhere i go i am not alone
You call me as Your own, to know You
and to be known.

so its Saturday and E/everyone is out, i guess i'll take some time and visit my dad bring him some flowers talk for a while , he always makes me feel better, well i hope E/everyone has a great weekend, be safe

since my last entry i have gotten alot of messages regarding that entry, concerns ,warnings ect.ect. , i thank Y/you all for Y/your concerns, i simply expressed that i have been talking with Someone who has captured my attention, i didnt say anything that would cause such an uproar, i am here to find that Someone that will complete me, i did not say its been 2 days and im collared or moving in, i simply expressed that this Man seems to be different and stands out, and yes i like Him but i would like Him wether He captured my attention or not, He is polite and He is confident and respectful which is hard to find on this site, although most of You get carried away and like to refer to us girls as sluts and cum whores , theres a place and a time and it shouldnt be at hello afterall it is Your first impression perhaps You should keep that in mind, that we are all different and we shouldnt all be talked to in the same manner. i am my own person and would like to be treated as such...

it has been an interesting two days for me, i have talked to a few DOM'S that i am willing to admit scared me , i have talked with others who think they know me better than i know myself, and ive talked with others that know nothing, and then ive talked with One that i cant find words to explain, i have never seen Him but i will say He is beautiful, it saddens me that W/we might not be a match but whatever the out come im glad i was given the chance to talk with Him, He has captured my attention fully. i was given my very first task to complete and i will say the feeling was amazing, and not because of what i feel but because for whatever reason it was given to me, i, good or bad was able to complete it and i really didnt give much thought as to how well i did but how it would please Him.. and those are my thoughts for right now

its been 24 hours and i have been kept quite busy reading and ansering messages, i have had the priviledge to meet some really nice people and then some hard to put into words people, i have talked with One that has caught my attention , im not sure that is a good thing but im not willing to walk away just yet, for A/all of Y/you that have welcomed me thank Y/you...

YoungSlaveGirl Female Submissive, 19, Lancaster, Pennsylvania	YoungOhioFemme Female Dominant, 19	youwillserveME Male Dominant, 38, Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania	yourmine2use Male Dominant, 45, East Stroudsburg, Pennsylvania
YourTVSlave Male Submissive, 55, Garfield, New Jersey	Youcouldbemine Male Dominant, 33, mt clemens, Michigan	youngirl Switch Couple, 22, Montreal, Massachusetts	yourwishis Male Submissive, 29, honolulu, Hawaii
yourpuppy69 Male Submissive, 55, yardville, New Jersey	youstopmecold Male Submissive, 28, Los Angeles, California	YouAreMine Female Dominant, 29, Albany, New York	yourpooch Male Submissive, 49

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