youngwithcrohns

        You know, having been on collarme off and on for the past few years I have to say one of the things that both amuses me and annoys me and whatnot. Are the people who pretend to be from Utah or who are from Utah who try to make it seem like all the stories/rumors/etc are true. Which really most of them arent and Im not sure how most of these things are still circulating. I know Ive probably done a post like this somewhere in the past and maybe on this profile. But I feel like its time to clarify a few things and get some of the crap people are trying to post and start out of the way. So time for another post like this and hopefully some of the "fakes" (Im not denying these are real people, just that they probably dont live in Utah or if they do they are not very happy living here so they are trying to make things seem bad to make other people upset, that last bit kind of reminds me of High School go figure)

        So, before I start Im going to give a little background on myself so hopefully people can actually see that to some point I actually know what Im talking about. I have lived in Utah all my life. And for the most part have lived in Salt Lake City or the Salt Lake City area. I was raised in the Mormon/LDS church but by the time I was 12 or 13 I started considering myself as what is referred to as Non-practicing. And by the time I was and adult (18 years old). Just decided the religion really wasnt for me. For the most part in any case its not like I have anything against the relgion. And still have some belief in what the church says. But as with many religions there isnt anything wrong with the beauty of them. The issue tends to be the people who are part of it who take the teaching into their own hands and try to preach their way as the right way. But either way. That is a brief background to show anyone who actually reads this that I do have some knowledge in what Im talking about. And Im sure will get some annoying/angry Emails from some of these "fakes". Which of course I will probably just delete. So without further delay, here is my way of trying to point out some of these annoying rumors and whatnot and explain how I think they are wrong.

To start Im going to mention something that I have seen pop up at least twice in the past 3 months if not more. And really, as I said I dont know how these things keep going. So, what I am talking about is the rumor that people in Utah and members of the church marry they close relatives (sisters, brothers, cousins, etc). In my 25 years of life I cant say Ive run into anybody here in Utah who has married a relative. I did once have a friend who went back in their family history and some 50-75 years back they found one of their relatives had married a 3rd or 4rth cousin (Im not talking polygamy here, we will get to that later). But other than that I have never met or heard of anyone in that situation. I will admit that family in Utah is possibly a lot closer than some places. Personally I ended up going to Junior High with a second cousin of mine without even knowing we were related till about 3/4 of the way through the first year. And before I get any "Well I bet you f*cked them" or "And I bet you married them" messages. This cousin was male. I am straight. And to be honest. After Junior High we went to different High Schools and have barely even spoken to each other since. So yeah.  Now in regards to this. I have heard one possible semi-explanation for this. Which I dont think is 100% why this kind of rumor is still going around. But here it goes and I will let you the reader take it however you deced. In the Mormon/LDS church other members are often referred to has Brother or Sister. Example convo being "Hello Brother A, how are you today" "Im good Brother B, have you met Sister A and Sister B here, they are new to our Ward". One of the main point of this religion of course is we are all children of God/Heavenly Father/Etc. So all being children we are brothers and sisters. And before anyone laughs or tries to say we are crazy I do want to point out to the Catholics/Christians that many preists are often referred to as Father so-and-so. So there is a similar concept out there.

        Next Im going to speak about polygamy. Now. I know there is going to be a lot here that I COULD put. But Im not going to bring it all out there because looking at that last bit being as long as it is. Well, you get the idea. First Im going to say even though I consider myself a non-practicing LDS/Mormon. I still know plenty members and repeat that I went to church till I was at least 13 or 14. And even a little after that till I decided it just wasnt the religion for me. But in all my years of living in Utah and in Salt Lake City. I have never met more than 2 or 3 polygamist households. And on of those was actually some off shoot of Jewish religion or so the family told me. I know everyone points to Warren Jeffs and the like. But I want to point out that even when all that came about (and yes I have heard people saying one letter doesnt make a difference but really it does especially when one person takes that one letter and turns the whole thing into his own religion, again, my issue isnt often with any certain regligion most of the time its with the people) that Warren Jeffs claimed to be a member of the "FLDS" Church not the "LDS" Church. And even so when everything came about there were quite a few LDS and FLDS people who claimed he was doing his one thing and was obviously wrong in doing what he did. Now, being on a BDSM site I will point out Ive met Poly Household. Meaning Ive met households where several consenting adults engaged in BDSM types of relationships. But these werent marriages. These werent religious (in the strictest sense of the word) bindings. These were purely BDSM poly relationships.

Now, I know there are a couple more rumors/stories/etc that float around the world about Utah, Salt Lake City, Mormons/LDS followers. And honestly if I were to write everything Ive heard I could probably write a short book. Again this post is from my own personal experience living in Utah. And having been a member of the church as I was growing up. If you are really from Utah, and/or are LDS/Mormon and feel like I should add something to this post (Im not saying I am going to spread any rumors for you I mean if you feel there is some rumor/story/etc you want corrected) feel free to message me and I will discuss with you about how I feel and what your experiences and explanations are in regards to the rumor. And if I feel I have the time and energy maybe I will edit this journal post to include it. I hope this has been an eye opener for some people. Sorry its so long and sorry if you got bored. But I hope this was usefull. Take care all you out there in internet land. Bye...

Sorry Ive been away for so long. Ive been to and from so many doctors and had a couple visits to the hospital which almost had me thinking I should just rent a room there. Its not over yet either. But Im better for the most part. At least for the moment. Hope youve all enjoyed the start of spring I know Im liking it except for the really hot days. Haha. Well, thats my update for now. Take care.

Okay, so first little thing. Which I think Ive said before. But if you see me on camera in the room. Its very unlikely I will get naughty. Usually I just play music and lurk. Occasionally I get all dressed up. But thats about it. Secondly. Does anybody elses power keep going out today?

*Sigh*. I swear this year has just been a roller coaster since it started. I wish things would just stay on a good path. Rather than all the ups and downs. Too bad St. Patricks day wont bring me some luck. Haha. Writing a rather unique story for a friend. If my punctuation wasnt so bad and I was much more confident I might publish it here. Though Im sure it would probably get me some attention I dont really want considering the topic. I may be able to write about it. But that doesnt mean I have a fetish or obsession with it. Haha. Well. Anyways. Hope you are all doing well. Ttyl.

Really starting to hate doctors who cant get things fixed. Or who dont communicate with my other doctors. And pharmacies who give me grief. And insurance. Lol. Lets just say I am starting to dislike most things medical. Even though I have a lot of medical issues. They are just starting to make my life complicated. And for anyone who is wondering, this rant involves where Ive been the past few weeks/months. Ive had some major medical troubles as well as dealing with follow up exams. Not to mention some stupid financial trouble and going through the renewal process for my apartment and whatnot.  But other than that life is just peachy. Haha. Not exactly. But in any case I hope I can start getting online more again. And that things start looking up for me. *Fingers Crossed*. I hope all you out in internet land are doing well too. Take care everyone. And stay naughty. ;)

Ugh, I dont want to get older next week. Anyone want to do it for me? Haha.

Hey look the world is still here. I know I know, sorry, I just had to say it. Just one of those things I knew I was going to joke about. For those of you who dont know I was in the hospital on wednesday and have been recovering since then. Had a lot of time to myself and a lot of time to be lonely. Haha. Anyways. Im doing a bit better. Im still sore and a little tired. But a lot better than I was. Now its mostly just the waiting game for the test results and the treatments.

On a side note. I am seeking advice/knowledge from anyone willing to give it because I find myself at a bit of a dead end. I swear I was young enough to be up on things but appearently Im not as updated as I though. I find myself in a unique situation on a site similar to collarme. Where I am having people trying to put me into a switch position that is more... Financial? . I will explain better I promise. You see I have had several people offer/ask that I get certain clothes, toys, etc. and offer to pay for them or give me the means to pay for them. Of course I am nervous about giving out addresses or other info that might give me stalkers or whatever. So two options that were suggested/given to me were paypal and amazon gift cards/wish lists. I do know somewhat how the latter works. But still have some questions. As for paypal Id say Im somewhat clueless. So any help would be great. But the main questions on my mind go like this.

For paypal what I gather is that I have to link my paypal to a bank account. As does the person sending me the money. If this is wrong just let me know. Also I am assuming that if I want to retain being anonymous I would have to make a seperate bank account other than my own. Also Im not sure how the paypal account is accessed by myself or those sending me the money. From what I understand I can link it to an Email acount and once the other person has their own Email and bank account linked they can just email me whatever amount and never get my bank account info. If this is correct or incorrect in any way just let me know and if you have any help in general that would be great.

Now, for amazon I think with gift cards its simple enough to get the wireless/email gift cards by just setting up an Email account (probably one similar to the screen name on the other site) and then all the other person has to do is log onto their amazon send me an Email gift card and it will give me some sort of code to apply to my account. Im pretty sure this is correct but I could be wrong. As for wish lists, Im again, making the assumption here that I will have to create a seperate amazon account than my own so they know its my IDs wish list and not my own. And then post the wish list. But also where Im confused is that if I post the wish list I still want the package info to be addressed to me when its sent. Can I do this on amazon having it say "insert screen name here"s wish list and still have it sent to me without the sender knowing any of my personal info.

So, any help on these matters would be great. Feel free to message me with any advice or info. Other than that. Hope all of you are having a great day and that you can have some amazing "yay the world didnt end" sex. Haha. Take care all of you. Bye...

Have been having some interesting (okay more random) thoughts lately. Though there have been a few deeper thoughts too. One of the random ones though that has been making me laugh all weekend is. Does anyone else wonder/worry if nicki minaj's carpet matches her curtains with how much she changes her hair. Haha. Sorry, still makes me giggle. Went to a family Christmas party this weekend and kind of felt like an outsider. Which got me thinking about how little my family and friends really know about me. True a lot of it is partly my fault because I dont tell them. But some of it makes me wonder because some of the stuff has to be obvious. Anyways, been having some really odd sexual thoughts/feelings as well. Wishing I could talk to someone about them (okay, morely wishing I could tell the people I am having the thoughts/feelings about what Im thinking and how I feel). But Im sure in the long run that wouldnt end well. Oh well. Hope you are all enjoying your holidays. Take care. Bye...

Well, Im kinda sad that appearently my last journal post didnt actually post. Though I think its funny because a day or so after I had thought I had posted it the user I was speaking of deleted their journal entry that I was talking about. For those of you that are confused (which Im assuming is most of you) my last post was talking about spelling and grammer and how some users appearently have little to no grasp on those concepts. Im not saying Im perfect by any means. Trust me I know my typing is a punctuation nightmare. But one post I had seen almost phyically hurt me with how bad it was. Haha. Anyways. Had an interesting week last week. Not as interesting as I had hoped. But what can you do. Discovered some things about myself that I never thought I would have. And enjoyed it. Again, not on the level I would have liked. But what can you do as I said. Dont know if I will be doing it again anytime soon though. Thanks to some limits in my life that would make it difficult. Anyways. Hope all is well with all of you out there. Bye...

You know, Im far from naming names, but I think its interesting when you browse some pictures here and you think you recognize the people and where they were. And possibly even remember a date when you might have saw it happen. Not going to put any IDs out there. But I will say I think I recognized a Mistress by one of her pictures. Not that Im looking for one. But if you are a Mistress and you think Im speaking of you feel free to message me and I will let you know.

I think as soon as I get some energy today will turn into one of those days where I turn up my music, close the blinds on my windows, and dance around naked. Haha.

I just remembered/realized how depressing I seem thanks to all my journal entries. Though I prefer to think of myself as quiet, somber, and thoughtfull. Im pretty sure I dont always come across that way though. I bet to "normal" people I just come across as creepy. Hehe...

Happy Singles Awareness Day!!!

One thing after another. I end up questioning my mortality or immortality day after day. Im still here. Searching, searching, ever searching. Left to mine own devices and boredom could be dangerous for my eventuall partner. Hehe. I cant say I like this recent cold but the weather is quite beautiful the cold aside. Anyways. I hope everyone is well. Ta...

Im starting to wonder if my doctors have a thing for looking at my insides. Two scopes in one month seems to be a bit much. In other news, found out I have some rather interesting neighbors. One couple who lives in my building Ive declared as the stoner couple (not that there is anything wrong with that) well, the husband is at least. The wife is rather interesting in her own way. But I wont go into that. Hehe. Also found out that some people in my neighborhood like to have fun, outside, at night. Some interesting to see. Others... Kinda scary. Anyways. Still alive and kicking. Hope you all had/have a nice weekend.

Well, made it out of the hospital okay. The scope didnt look the best but at least they didnt have to admit me. Now just resting at home. Naughty thoughts running through my head. What to do what to do. Hehe...

Well, been having some new thoughts/fantasies lately. Might have to create a new profile to share them. I know that sounds like a split personality type thing. And who knows it might be. But Ive hardly ever had that side of me come out before. So, might just want to keep them seperate. But who knows. I might share them with the right person on here. Or if I just get really bored. Which who knows, I might be bored in the hospital again if the docs have anything to say about it. But keeping my fingers crossed that my health stays good and that I find a play partner sometime soon. Maybe someone to help my fulfill these new thoughts and fantasies. Anywho. Just thought Id update since its been a while since my last real post. Ta... Bye...

Home alone bored on a Utah Sunday Evening... Shoulda saw this coming. Hehe.

Blah...

You know, I think its a sign I truly have a submissive side when I allow close female friends to "trick" me into paying for a movie for them. Especially when said movie is a chick flick or rather at least a movie aimed at the female audience. Sad to say its rather awkward to when the friend is giving mixed signals. Both in where they want the relationship to go and in expressing whether they are the more dominant or submissive type. I cant complain though. The company was appreciated and enjoyed. Though the fawning over the lead male actor in the movie got kinda old kinda fast. Hehe. Of course I guess I deserved it with my mocking the movie off and on. Anyways. Just felt it was time for a journal update. And one that didnt have to do with my health or me whining about it. Hope everyone is doing well out there in internet land. Till next time.

Blah. Just one of those days Im feeling demanding and aggresive. Wishing I had a woman to take charge of and have my way with. Oh well. The search goes on. Hope all of you in internet land are doing well...

Is the internet just broken today or something. Hehe. I swear 4 or 5 different sites. All having chatroom issues. Collame lately (for me at least) repeatedly telling me people are viewing me, there are new users, and that I have new mail, though nothing changes no matter how many times I check. My email having issues taking my password. Hehe. The list goes on. Maybe its a sign Ive been on the computer too much lately. Anywhos. Hope all you people out in internet land are having a good day. Thats all for now. Bye...

Well, life has its ups and downs. Cant complain too much at the moment. Kinda saddened at collarme lately. Or rather some of the users on here. But life goes well for me for the most part. Get to see a new doc this month and hopefully that will help me out. Met some nice people in some chat rooms. Not all from this site. But oh well, guess I will keep looking and hope I can find someone eventually.

So. Randomly. In the past few days I have been in several different kinds of chat rooms. Meaning not just on this site. And found it interesting at how some people seem to bash location and religion with no realy reasoning behind what they said. They carry a lot of heresay and rumors on their shoulders. But even when presented with I do not consider myself overly religious. And Im not offended that often when someone says that they may be against certain belief systems. But coming in, making wild claims, and insulting them with no real reasoning is just dumb and meaningless. Especially when they specifically come to a chat room based on location for just the purpose to troll and try to anger or frustrate the people in the room. I am very proud of the people I know in these rooms because so few of them truely actually got angry. Anyways. Just thought Id get that out of my system. Thanks for listening and taking your time. Take care all.

Bored, in a naughty mood. Wishing I had a friend with benifits to fool around with tonight. Geez... I sound like a typical 23 year old. Oh well. *Sigh* . Guess it cant be helped cause its the truth...

Okay. So not much of a 4rth of July. It was okay. But I was left hot and bothered, tired, and confused. Which was weird cause I didnt even ever think that the person who did it to me would ever really be able to do that. Considering who she is. And the fact that, last night included, when we hang out we really dont have any real physical contact. And Im surprised that the hot and bothered aspect has even lasted till now. Oh well. No much I can do about it I suppose. Sad day. Anyways. Hope you are all well out in internet land. Bye...

Sore from starting to move. Bored and in one of those moods from being alone and not having much physical interaction with a woman in some time. Thinking about online play... Yeah... I dunno. Maybe I will just pass out in an hour or two if insomnia lets me.

*Sigh*. Just one of those days I guess.

Well, one more surgery survived. My large intestine is now non existant. Still having some issues physically with adjusting to that fact. But hopefully all is well by the end of the month. So Ive been checking in on my profile every so often when I am able to and have been kind of saddened by the fact that my profile hasnt caught more eyes. Though I could hazard a few guesses as to why. But oh well. For now Im not giving up in my searches, quests, whatever I should call them. A bit of an update to my life I suppose, since that is what these journals are generally used for. I may be moving in the next month or so. Fingers crossed. Looking to further my education if I can manage by some miracle to find a way to afford it. And still single and lonely of course. Hehe. Anyways, to anyone who reads this thank you for your time and effort. And to those who dont, your loss. Thats all for now I suppose. Ta...

Okay, so now that I?ve had a little breather and gotten some actual work out of the way. I guess I can post the entry that I promised in my recently updated profile. So here it is. Dun, dun, dun? The awkward interests/fetish/fantasy/whatever post. Now just a forewarning beforehand. Some of this may sound a little odd. Or undereducated. And I say that because one, as I have said before I don?t have much experience in the lifestyle/scene so I?m not exactly sure how describe everything. And two, because I am a little weird in what I am seeking and what I enjoy. I ask that if you are going to comment please don?t just say things like that?s disgusting or that?s so wrong and please no comments that are just insulting. I?m trying to learn here. So stuff like that gets me nowhere. Constructive comments are always welcome and any advice or knowledge that you may have to offer that may help me would be much appreciated. Lastly, and I know I have said similar things like this before. But I want to reiterate that just because I say I like or enjoy something does not mean it is the only thing I am seeking. And likewise if I dislike or am not interested in something doesn?t necessarily mean I wont try for the right person. Now on to the fun stuff.

Okay, so I know this isn?t the post I mentioned in my recently updated profile (About my interests/desires/fetishes/etc.). But at the moment I am bored and somewhat feel the need to speak my mind I suppose. So here goes this rant/rave/whatever you want to call it, all though its more so just me clearing my head and getting some of my thoughts out there. But before I start, I do want to say that when I am posting this I am not downing on anyone, criticizing anyone, or anything similar to these. What they have said is their opinion. This is merely mine. So if you have a beef with what I say. Please understand this fact. And please think before you comment or talk to me about this. Because as I said. A lot of this is a matter of opinion. Anyways though. On to the subject matter.

In browsing around on collarme I have seen several profiles (Okay, maybe somewhere between 3 to 7) and journal entries where the user states there is no such thing as a switch. First and foremost I would like to laugh a little and say there are quite a few switches on this site that would probably disagree. That being said. I feel this is a rather foolish thing to say. A lot of people do tend to lean either towards a dominant or submissive side. Switches included. But this does not mean there aren?t people out there that can be both or go back and forth between the two. In my opinion I know that there are people like this because a lot of relationships vary depending on personality and thus will change ones status depending on their partner. Again, this is just a matter of opinion. But I know that I have both a dominant and submissive side. And I don?t claim either of the two as more prominent.

In saying all this I?m going to talk a little about myself to hopefully explain where I am coming from a little bit. When I?ve been described by my past partners/lovers/girlfriends/flings/so on and so forth. They have often agreed that I am one of the most dominant submissives and/or most submissive dominants that there ever was. Now I know this is going a little out of context. And some of you out there are asking what the heck I am talking about and what I could mean. I believe a lot of me thinking this. And being this way. Has to do with my upbringing. I was raised in a very religious family. And up until the time I was about 12. I was the good little boy. Someone told me to do something I would do it. Even if I didn?t want to. I was very submissive and much the people pleaser. But when I hit this age I learned that I did have some control in my life. And in the lives of my relationships. And lets just say I suppose, that I got power hungry. But being that I have these very different parts of my life, I learned quickly that I was happiest when I combined these two aspects. And those I cared for deeply tended to be happy too. I liked being in control and having the power. But also at the same time cared to please those I was controlling. Cause their pleasure brought me greater results and knowledge of how to have more power over them. That being my Submissive Dominant side. Also though, I like being controlled. Knowing that when I am told to do something it would bring the one I care for great pleasure. This case too though, I needed some form of control, being able to say more than just no. I guess in a way what I am saying, is I like to be able to tell the one I am serving the kind of mistress I want them to be. That being my Dominant Submissive side.

Now I know a lot of this probably doesn?t even make sense to some of you. But the point I am trying to get across is that in a relationship. Control can come from either side at any time. Thus verifying in this world there are definitely such thing as switches. So please, don?t deny the title. Don?t try and say we aren?t here. Cause we are. And we do have a right to say whether or not we want to be in control in a relationship.

On kind of a side note too though. And I know this is going to seem a little off. But I just want to say that I have seen some switch profiles that really should just be changed. When you say you are a switch. But you are only seeking slaves or submissives. Then you probably should change your profile to Dominant and just let everyone know. But yeah. Again. Just a matter of opinion.

Anyways. I guess this is the end of my first real journal post. I hope I didn?t make myself look too stupid. I will probably be going back and editing this thing a million times till I think its perfect. Just like my profile. But I hope I was able to show that I am more than just a immature 22 year old. That I do think and use the brain that the higher powers gave me. So yeah. Guess that?s all for now. Hope you enjoyed it.