XxPokeofDeathxX

Dear Journal: I got my Associate's in the mail today! Woo hoo!

Dear Journal Reader: ???? This is the first journal entry since I've changed my profile. I've found a very nice man that I'm involved with right now. It isn't the BDSM relationship I thought I'd have, we actually met elsewhere. But, he's kind and playful and I care deeply for him. I do have one outlet for this area of my personality, though. He's twenty years older than I am and still clings to old fashioned ways as I do, so he loves it when I cook and clean and pamper him. And I love to cook, clean, and pamper my man. ??? I've also switched from Secondary Education to Elementary Education. I still don't like going out much, but since my new honey is a musician and a real go getter I tend to just follow him around more often than not. I now also find that sex is enjoyable. I read in my earlier journal topic said that in the past I had not found it enjoyable. I say now I do. ??? One thing I do find that's too bad is that with my new honey it was a bit painful and I bled from being inexperienced, though he's not comically huge. It would have been more fun to have a male Master who enjoyed the pain, the blood, and everything. Alas, I have no regrets. ?? Yes, male Master though I am bisexual. I don't like being controlled by a female. Only a man should have control of a woman. This woman, at least. ??? Well, it's early morning and I'm going to attempt to catch some more ZzZ's. Goodnight or goodmorning. Whichever.

Dear Journal Readers: ???? A little more about me, I suppose. I don't remember what all I said in the last one since it's been a few days, but I'll try my best not to sound repetitive. ???? My experience: None. Not really, anyway. Internet/phone. I've also only had sex once. No, I didn't like it, either. I didn't feel anything. Literally. Not to be mean, though. ???? I like pain, but I am afraid of it. Especially if someone would be that person to inflict it on me the first time. I can never really hurt myself, you know. ??? Hm.. I start back school next Friday, so chatting and stuff with those who want to will be easier then. I'll have to post my AIM and stuff here so everyone can get it, because I'm sure school internet would block this site. ??? Again, to get quicker responses now, just e-mail me at angelofthebleakandbroken@gmail.com. ??? Hm..A little background info, perhaps? I'm a 19 year old switch female, manly submissive. I'm bisexual but I prefer males. With males, I'm submissive, with females, I'm dominant, mostly. My mother and father are divorced. They had 3 kids together. My dad had 2 more separately, my mom had 1 more separately. I have 4 stepsiblings. My sister also has a little boy on the way. I'm the eldest except for my stepbrother, who I never see.? I graduated with honors and took honor classes. I'm a nerd. I admit it. I was in the Science Club, Word Club, Book Club, FEA, FBLA, and NHS. When I took Spanish, I was in the Spanish Club. When I took Theatre, I was in the Theatre club, etc. The only club I'm in now is the GSA (Gay Straight Alliance). I enjoy school and would just go take classes forever if I could. I'm currently in community college and I'll be transfering to a university next semester. My current GPA is a 3.78 and my major is Secondary Education, focus in English and Math. I have blonde hair and blue eyes. I'm about 5'6/5'7. I am overweight, but slowly losing. I have both ears triple pierced and I have my tongue pierced. I am kind of prudish, probably. I don't like to jump into things so it takes me a while to decide. I don't really dress skimpily. I bought a skirt with the money my dad gave me for Christmas and my sisters insist it's a hoochie mama skirt. I wear tights under it and I show no skin. I still don't think I'll be wearing that skirt now. It was three dollars, though. Oh, I'm a fan of bargains. I love going second hand shopping at cosignment shops and I love coupons. I'm all for saving money. I -DON'T- like smokers. It's a disgusting habit and I won't go near your mouth if you smoke, and if you tell me you smoke, I probably will no longer be attracted to you. I'm not much of a partier. I don't generally go out. I disapprove of heavy drinking. (Like all of my family does). I also disapprove of drug use. I think a little pot is fine, honestly. It does you less harm than alchohol. But it still stinks. Don't do it often and don't do it around me, please. ???? I think that's possibly it. And, if you want to message me and get a message back sooner, e-mail me at angelofthebleakandbroken@gmail.com and tell me who you are on here or something, please. I might sound like a broken record with my e-mail, but it bothers me not to be able to respond promptly. ??? I'm surprised with how many messages I've gotten, as well.. I have a lot of interesting prospects of Masters. Everyone's unique, so I like to talk for a while to get to know them. It might not hurt my Master for him to lose me, but it hurts me to lose my Master. My Master because someone I may get to depend on and cling to. It's how I am, I'm sorry. Also, if you just want sex from me that's real life/real time, I probably won't go for it. Just lie and say you do want something to perhaps develop later on, I'll believe you most likely. I'm just not that comfortable yet with having sex at all, truthfully. Cybering/roleplaying is fine, though. I actually love to roleplay. Again, I'm a nerd. I also love anime, too, if anyone wants to suggest me some. ???? I'm trying to think of anything else I should consider or tell you all before I log off. It's 9:30 a.m. here and I need to get home. I'm at my grandma's now and, since my mom just had a c-section, I really should be getting home to clean up and cook for her.. Yes, I have no problem with domestic duties. I enjoy cooking, though I probably am not that good at it. And since I hate things being dirty, I automatically want to clean. I just won't clean something that's so dirty you might as well set it on fire. ??? Let's see.. Any other random details I should grace your eyes with? I get carsick and I love Mexican food. I have huge boobs, with or without the weight. I have a dark spot on my inner thigh.. It's just a dark circle of skin. It isn't raised or anything, it's just..weird. I do have freckles, but those are all really light.. Oh, I know. I shave that particular area. And, yes, I am uncomfortable with just busting out the "p" word. Silly, probably, I know. ???? Is anyone even going to read this? It's pretty long. Skim it, most likely. I admit I rarely read the journals on here. ???? I thought of another bit of information: I wear glasses. Though currently I have contacts in. ???? Hm.. I'm wishy washy and random, I admit. I ramble a lot, which is why this is probably so long. I'm sorry for it being so long and probably mostly filled with useless information. If you've messaged me and thinking we're getting along great, we probably are and I'm sorry it offends you that I'm still talking to others. I just want to make the right decision, you know? I really don't want to agitate anyone, so I'm very sorry if I have. And, yes, I will apologize a lot. For everything and anything. Goodmorning and bye, everyone.

Dear Journal Readers, ??? This is just to communicate a little bit more about myself. I won't divulge very personal information unless I get to know a person well. I don't want to end up embarrassed with some guy I didn't like in high school or a similar situation. I go to a community college right now majoring in Secondary Education, English and Mathematics. My GPA is a 3.78 and I like to read and write. ??? About physical appearance.. I have blonde/brown hair and blue eyes. I wear glasses or contacts. I'm about 5'7 and I have a tongue ring. My hair is a medium length. I'm a very shy and timid person. I'm also large, but trying to lose weight. Lost 40 lbs so far. I feel fat just thinking about losing that much weight and still looking fat. I'm insecure and depressed. I usually feel the need to be controlled. It makes me feel more secure. ??? I don't like to be naked or anything of that nature. I feel humiliated at the thought of someone seeing my body naked. I suppose to one who's into humiliation, that's a bonus. I admit I do like the "tall, dark, and handsome" kind of thing. Well, not so much in looks. Tall and big and it doesn't necessarily have to be in muscle, either. I just like the look of someone who would be able to overpower me. Though I suppose that isn't too surprising. ?? This is the end of my first journal entry. I think this is my first, anyway. Goodnight, everyone. Please have a Happy Holidays and a safe one, at that. Goodnight

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