xtploring

Friday 13th.  Is it just an ordinary day?

I have great expectations of myself.  It would be so divine to find someone who had great expectations of me too.

What a strange capacity.  It is nearly indescribable.  Naaah, it is, it is indescribable.  How does a man enslave a woman?  I know how heroin enslaves, I know what chemical changes take place for meth to enslave.  I know how being taken prisoner enslaves, how being sold, albeit illegally, enslaves...but tell me, really... how does a man enslave a woman, leaving her quite literally and completely at his mercy?

What does he say?  What does he do?  It is as if by magic, one day you are living your life belonging to yourself, or your family or your job, and then you awake and every thought, every breath, the single motivation of your existence is this man.  What did he do?  What did he say?  What is this strange capacity?

Enslavment.  That is the key.

To a slave her Owner's will is her oxygen. It is the substance that satisfies her cells and keeps them alive. Obedience, is merely the tube that delivers His will to her. To choose to be dobedient is the same,for a slave,as wilfully kinking that tube. The immediate response is that her oxygen is cut off.  This is not what occcurs when her Owner 'finds out' no this begins to happen even as she begins to consider disobedience. The very thought of disobeying immediately begins to pinch that tube and the act itself does choke her, it effectively cuts her oxygen supply, her Owner's will, completely off from her and the sensation is one of a hand strangling her. A slave can no more consciously choose disobedience than a human can choose to cut off their oxygen supply. Because for a slave obedience is the vehicle that delivers her oxygen, her Owner's will to her.

Indeed consider the greatest slave of all, Jesus Christ. The only punishment which truly hurt him was not to be beaten, nor the scouraging nor even hanging on the cross, no it was with his father forsook him, and he cried out "Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?" Mt 27:46, My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Pain, in all its forms, is a source of food for the slave. It is only abandonment that is truly punishment.

Dominance is the ability to create a hunger in someone that's so strong they will do anything, anytime, anywhere just to please you.

Lies will motivate me to block your contact.

If we have spoken in the past and it did not work in the past, changing your profile and trying again will only make you look desperate.

My breath is just a little quicker these days, my heart beat just a little faster,

Hope...the thing with feathers

It perches in my soul, and I believe it has again begun to sing

My foot not quite as sure, my imagination not quite as staid.

Seeking a Taken-in-Hand relationship

I am a masochist, however at the end of the day it is the point of absolute devotion that feeds my soul.

www.takeninhand.com

Exploring myself, exploring the truth, confused,  yet not feeling afraid.  I am not comfortable, I am not yet understanding  but I am truly grateful for the light illuminated  for me from unknownbyall.  It is unexpected but deeply valued. 

I am a slave.  Yes, I know that at my core.  But, still it is so distant, so far from grasp.  I am exploring.  I am.

I hope everyone finds pleasure in their journey.

Today is 

7/11/11

surely if there were a day to get lucky, today would be it! 

What a gift to bathe and adore a lover.

Lady luck smiled on me,

(or perhaps it was just skill)